As we walked to Fairy Hills I couldn't believe how aware of Lucy's presence I had become. Before it was only her scent I could track but not her presence. Now I could tell exactly where she was. It was as if I was tuned in to some special signal that she alone gave off. Maybe it was part of whatever was happening to me. Maybe I should tell her? No! You can't do that she'll freak out. Lucy won't freak out she'll just be all smartsy about it. I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't realized where we'd arrived.
"Natsu." She paused when I looked at her. "You can let go of me now." Had I been holding on to her this whole time?
"Sorry." I released her from my grip as she moved towards the door. I stood there for amount, following her with my eyes as she moved. I couldn't understand it. Why was my body so fixated on her. It was like I had suddenly found the homing beacon I didn't know I was looking for. As the door closed behind her I could feel the warning signs of pain begin to return to me. "Lucy!" I yelled for her, hoping she would hear me. I relaxed slightly when I felt her come towards me. She opened the door and the pain began to fade away.
"Yeah?" I stood their looking at her. Unsure why I had called out to her in the first place."
"Never mind."
"Then come on! If we're going to find out what's going on with we need to talk to Levy." I nodded my head in agreement and followed her.
"Yeah that definitely sounds like your going through the Dragon's Awakening but I don't understand why it's been happening for so long." Levy looked through one of the books she had been holding as she put on her speed reading glasses to search for something.
"Hey, Natsu? You haven't noticed anything weird this time around have you?" I thought hard, hoping to find anything that would help Levy figure it out.
"Oh! It comes and goes a lot." I heard my two friends sigh in unison.
"Natsu, it happening once doesn't count."
"Lucy's right. All the books say that the pain can sometimes subside if the slayer goes through this stage for an abnormal length of time."
"Yeah, but did it say it would go away completely? I wasn't in any pain all the times it happened." Lucy looked to me confused.
"Wait. Are you saying you weren't in any pain? Like the pain completely disappeared?" Lucy looked to Levy with a serious face but I didn't understand why this fact was so important.
"Yeah." I thought about all the times I had been alone and how painful the pain had been, but whenever Lucy showed up I was suddenly fine. "I mean, any time Lucy was there I was fine. She doesn't even have to be that far away from me to make it hurt again."
"What do you mean Natsu? You didn't say it happened any other time after the first one." She looked at me slightly annoyed with the lack of information I had provided.
"Well, I didn't want to worry you. After all everything's fine now right?"
"No." Levy stood up, staring at me with the most serious face she could muster. "You are definitely not fine Natsu. Now you said that every time Lucy came back the pain went away, Correct?" I nodded my head in agreement. "So, are you saying that as long as you aren't alone you're okay." Damn, she was on to me. I had decided during the time Levy and Lucy had been talking that I wasn't going to mention the whole Lucy's presence thing. I just didn't want to freak her out, but now I had to say something.
"I dunno if it's only when I'm not alone. Happy wasn't around me very long for me to notice if it helped. And the only person I've seen since then was Lucy."
"Okay then, let's do a little experiment. I'm sorry if this makes you feel any pain Natsu, but we have to try." I nodded my head at Levy in understanding, but I wasn't sure why Levy was so serious about this. I had never been seriously injured by this Dragon Awakening before and it wasn't like I could die from it. They're just freaking out because they're girls. I told myself as I watched Lucy begin to head for the day.
"Hey wait. Where are you going, Lucy?"
"Weren't you even listening Natsu? First I'm going to leave the room. And continue to walk until Plue comes to get me. If nothing happens then I'll come back and leave with Levy. That way we can see if you being alone is what triggers it." I sighed as I watched her leave. I wasn't comfortable with her not being nearby. I couldn't really explain why I was unhappy about it. I had been away from Lucy loads of times before now. She just made me feel comfortable while I was going through this whole process.
As the door clicked shut and Lucy got further and further away from me the sensation began to come back. I tensed knowing what kind of pain awaited me. "You have to know by now don't you?" Levy asked me as she saw my composure go from relaxed to tensed after Lucy left.
"Know? Know what?"
"That Lucy's the cause of all of this." Lucy? Lucy was causing me pain?
"But how? I don't understand. Lucy would never hurt me." Levy sighed at my response. I seemed to be causing a lot of sighing today.
"Man, Gajeel was right. You are as dense as you seem. The reason the pain went away is because Lucy is with you during this time." She paused as she sent Plue after Lucy. "You probably never noticed that this happens today once every year on the same month. Which is why Lucy never figured out that is was the Dragon's Awakening."
"So, what does this have to do with Lucy?"
"You're in love with her you idiot!" I couldn't believe how angry Levy seemed to be with me. She rarely gave in to anger but I knew well that Lucy was one of her closest friends. "Ever wonder why the awakening happened when it did?"
"Not really." I shrugged my shoulders as I spoke. I didn't really care why it had happened. I just knew that it did. And now I knew that it happened to all dragon slayers and that it was gone now.
"It's because you found you're true love. You know how Lucy and I love all those romance novels that you guys think are stupid? Well, they always talk about how there is one person in the whole universe that you are truly meant to be with and love forever.
"Yeah! But that's stupid! Tons of people have loved more then one person People get divorced and stuff don't they? So how can you possibly only love one person in the whole world?"
Levy smiled at my question. "True you can love many others but there is a deeper kind of love out there. One that is deeper then just feelings." As she looked at me I could tell she knew I didn't understand what she was saying. "You understand how emotions and magic are tied together in a single person right Natsu?" Of course I did. I always got more powerful when I felt strongly about something. "Well, love is kind of like a unison raid. Unison raid's are always stronger if the two performing the unison raid have magic that amplifies the others. In other words when you found Lucy you're magic reacted to hers, without you knowing it, and it made you a stronger dragon slayer. Even though you and Lucy have never performed a unison raid together because you are near Lucy most of the time you are a stronger dragon slayer whenever you are with her." She looked at me as she took in a deep breath. She seemed exhausted from her explanation.
"But I don't understand how Lucy's magic and my magic being a perfect match means I love her? I mean I love Lucy, but I love her like I love you Levy. You're all my family." Her head dropped low like she had given up.
"Yes I know you do Natsu but you're a dragon slayer. You love her because you went through the Dragon Awakening once you met her. This only happens to dragons who find their soul mate. You know what that means right? To find your soul mate?"
"Y-yeah." I looked away from her slightly. Lucy had explained what a soul mate was to me once when she was talking about the plot of one of her books. "So one true love and soul mates are the same?" Levy smiled at me.
"Yes Natsu! They're exactly the same! Don't you get it now?"
I could feel my bodies temperature rise as I slowly began to understand the meaning of Levy's words. "But I've never thought about her like that before! Wouldn't I have thought about her like I had feelings for her or something." Levy's look did nothing to convince me that my thoughts towards Lucy changed my situation.
"You just weren't aware of them like most people are. I'm sure you've had at least some sort of physical reaction towards her." Levy's face flushed as the implication of her words left her mouth. She wasn't comfortable about having to explain this to me and she knew I understood what she meant. When we were younger Master had sat all us younger guild members down and explained what sex was. He had a separate conversation with all of the boys about how our bodies would react to girls. I hadn't really thought much of it until I had seen Lucy naked for the first time. I mean it was in the middle of a battle so it was a little different but still it had surprised me enough to forget I was fighting.
"I guess so but I'm not a pervert! I don't have thoughts like that!"
"Oh come on Natsu! I'm sure you've had a dream or something!" Ah! How did she know?! I tried to calm myself down but she had caught my startled and embarrassed expression. "I knew it! Gajeel totally owes me! You've had dirty thoughts about Lu-"
"Levy!" I tried to stop Levy when I noticed that Lucy was basically in ear shot.
"What the hell Natsu? Why won't you even admit that you've thought about being with Lucy?!" As Levy yelled it at the top of her longs in reaction to me trying to keep her from saying anything out loud I heard the door open. There was a massive pause. I couldn't believe it. Levy had let it slip and Lucy heard.
"WHAT?! I heard a scream rip through the air as Lucy reacted to what she had heard. I was relieved when she didn't leave. Not wanted to be in the extreme pain I had been in earlier today. The conversation with Levy had been hard enough even though she hadn't been far. Before I had a chance to explain myself I received a powerful Lucy kick to the face flying into one of Levy's book shelves. "You perv Natsu! Why would you go and talk to Levy about something like that!
"And you!" She turned to Levy to equal her punishment she had dealt to me. "How could you do this to me?! How would you like it if I went and told Gajeel how you feel?!"
"Lucy wait! I didn't mean it like that! I promise! It had to do with the Dragon's Awakening." Lucy paused, willing to wait for punishment until Levy explained herself. I sat up from the book pile, rubbing my head not wanting anymore attention from Lucy in her current state. "You know how you were confused about what was happening to Natsu? You were on the right track but the reason you didn't know why this was happening to him was because he failed to tell you one important fact." I froze knowing that Levy had successfully redirected Lucy's anger back on to myself. "We thought that he might have just received the awakening younger then the normal age or he might be a year or two older then we think. None of us know how old Natsu is since he's an orphan so it was a perfectly sound idea. But when you left the pain came back to Natsu which confirmed my other theory about the Dragon Awakening."
"Other theory?" Lucy turned back toward Levy apparently calmed by Levy's explanation. "If you had a different theory then why didn't you tell me?"
Levy looked towards me as if asking for something. "Can I tell her?" My face turned red with embarrassment. I didn't want her to tell Lucy that I loved her! I didn't even know I was in love until a few minutes ago so how was Lucy going to react? I silently agreed with Levy turning away from their conversation not wanting to see how Lucy felt about it.
"The only other way the Dragon's Awakening can start early is if they find their soul mate. Normally a dragon knows when he's found their soul mate but Natsu's Natsu and didn't know what was happening to him. I still can't believe that Igneel didn't tell him anything about this. Metalicana told Gajeel plenty about all different kinds of things, even the Dragon's Awakening."
"Gajeel knows?!" I shouted without thinking. I needed to talk to him. But I had six more days before I could go anywhere without Lucy. Levy giggled at my shocked reaction but Lucy just stood there. I could tell she was mad even though I couldn't see her face. It was because of her presence. Ever since earlier today, I couldn't believe how aware of her I was. And it wasn't until her mood had changed that I realized just how aware of her I had become. I could feel anger coming off her like you could feel heat coming off of someone. "Are you really that mad at me Lucy?"
She flinched and then turned to me. "I'm embarrassed you idiot!" She waved her arms at me and then hid her face. The feeling of anger leaving her as sadness over took it. Then I smelled tears. She was crying? I stood up immediately and walked towards her. I pulled her into a deep hug, hoping that somehow it would calm her down. "Natsu!" She tried to push me away but I wouldn't let go. She hid her head in my chest as her silent tears continued to flow.
"I'm sorry if that whole thing with Levy upset you Luce. But I'd never, you know…" I stopped for a moment blushing as I thought back to what she had over heard. "I thought it was a normal thing. Master Makarov told us that it was normal to feel that way towards girls even if you don't like them like them." She laughed for a moment at my words but then began to cry again. I didn't know what to do. I held Lucy tight as I turned to Levy for help. She mouthed 'tell her' to me as Lucy continued to cry. "But, you know Lucy. If I weren't so dense I guess… I guess I would've noticed that I loved you more then the rest of my family sooner."
She paused and looked up at me, some lone tears still trailing down her cheek. "You like me more?" I could feel her emotions whirling as much as mine were. She was scared, sad, happy. Wait happy? As my words seemed to click in her mind her face went red and she buried her face in my chest.
"I've always liked you Luce. I guess I just didn't know I loved you but get this: my magic new before I did. How dumb am I?" She giggled again. As the feeling over happiness overwhelmed her other emotions she released me from our hug and ran towards Levy.
"So what happens now?" She looked at Levy anxiously. She obviously was having as much difficulty dealing with this as I was. I mean how often do two best friends fall in love with each other but have to be told by someone else?
"Well, do you love Natsu too?" She grinned at Lucy, like she knew something I didn't. Lucy's face became the color of Erza's hair.
"Levy! Love's a really big word to use. I mean we – it's – how am I supposed to know?" I couldn't help the slight sad feeling as she immediately reacted the way she did.
"Lucy, just imagine what it would be like without him in your life? I know you like him, it's obvious." Lucy opened her mouth but Levy began to speak again. "The saying you love him thing doesn't have to happen now for you but you've known you feel about him ever since Mira put the thought in your head."
I could feel Lucy's fear. "Eh? Lucy? You've been in love with me for a while? Why wouldn't you just tell me?" I couldn't understand why Lucy would keep something that big from me.
"Who said love!" I couldn't believe how afraid she felt.
"Then, why are you so afraid to talk about it? I can feel the fear on you." She froze and Levy jumped in surprise.
"Natsu! What do you mean you can feel the fear on Lucy?" Levy looked slightly worried by my expression.
"It just started happening earlier today. I can feel her emotions. It kind of feels like someone letting of a lot of heat or something."
"Oh no! Lucy I'm so sorry I have to go get Gajeel right away. The first stage of the Dragon's Awakening is already over!" She began to run out the door. "Oh! And you obviously can't leave Natsu's side for now. And I know you've been hiding your feelings from him ever since the whole Phantom Lord incident but get over it! You two love each other whether you like it or not." With that she shut the door and Lucy was absolutely mortified.
"Since Phantom Lord. You mean you've been in love with me for over a year and didn't tell me?"
She yelped in embarrassment. "Would you stop saying love. It's embarrassing me…" She trailed off, her eyes downcast as she admitted what was bothering her.
"But Levy said we love each other."
"No, she said that you love me. Natsu – " she paused "this is all just a lot to take in. I've never even kissed a guy before."
"I don't understand Luce. If we love each other. Even if we don't actually now how much we love each other. Why can't you at least say it? If you've liked me all this time then shouldn't it be easier for you then me? I didn't even know I was into girls yet!"
"Are you saying you thought you were into guys or something?!" Lucy's face was red and at first I didn't understand what she meant.
"What? Ah! No! I just didn't know I had grown up that much. Gildart's always said that I'd understand these kinds of things when I got older. I just didn't know I had gotten their."
"Well your brain hasn't!" I flinched at her words. She was right. I didn't really understand what all this meant. Lucy obviously understood what was going on better then I did but she acting like she didn't love me at all. "Natsu I, it's not that I don't care for you. I do. It's just that for over a year I've had to put away my feelings so they wouldn't get in the way of our friendship. And then you go and say that you never had romantic feelings for me at all. Never once thought of me in that way. Do you know how hard that is to hear?!"
"But Lucy! I love you!"
"You don't actually know what that means! You know what it is to be family but you don't know what it is to be loved by someone so much that you can barely breath. I would give you all of me if you would take it. My body, my heart, my soul. My MAGIC! EVERYTHING!" I could feel her pain and it was a pain I was familiar with but it was stronger somehow. A memory of when I saw future Lucy die for me flashed before my eyes as I tried to relate to my Lucy's pain.
"I didn't know it could hurt more than it hurt me to lose Igneel." I walked towards her, wanting to console her in some way, forgetting I was the root of her pain. She motioned for me to stop so I did. "I can feel your pain, Lucy. I can't bare for you to be in such pain because of me." She began to cry again. Damn. I stood there silently watching as my best friend and my partner broke down in front of me. I couldn't imagine watch she was feeling. I had never been through something as painful as this. This pain that I couldn't trace or understand. Then I thought to what Levy had said to Lucy before she left. Imagine a world without him in it! The pain I felt when Lucy had died once in front of me flashed before my eyes once again. "You know. I can't imagine a world without you Lucy."
"You feel that way about everyone."
"Yes but with you it's different. You know I saw you die once…I've never felt such pain. It's similar to what you're feeling now."
"Natsu…how did you?"
"I can feel your emotions, remember? I can't believe that I'm causing all this pain but Lucy. If you and I are meant to be together… that's not exactly a destiny I'd want to fight. You're my best friend. If I had lost you that day. It – it would have crushed me. But we're soul mates Lucy! That means that no matter who comes a long, we'll always have a special place in our hearts just for each other right?" I smiled my biggest smile and walked towards her. She didn't stop me this time so I pulled her into a hug. "I'm dense. But I'll love you forever, even if I don't know it." She began to cry again and I looked down at her. Trying to understand why my explanation made her cry even more but as I pulled away she grabbed my shirt.
"You remembered." I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about. "You remembered what I told you."
"Y – yes! You practically yelled it at me until I figured it out."
"You're so stupid Natsu." I smiled pulling her into a hug again. As I took a breath in I couldn't remember a time when I ever noticed how good Lucy smelled. "Stupid. Just going in head first without thinking things through." I didn't understand what she meant so I just held her and enjoyed the familiar aroma that meant a little more to me now then it used to.
"What's gotta be thought about?" I finally heard her laugh but as I looked down at her face I saw tears. "Lucy! Why are you crying? What did I do now?!"
"I'm happy, you idiot." She gave me a bright smile.
"Jeez. Don't scare me like that."
TO BE CONTINUED…
Sorry if this sucks guys. I got really stuck on how to continue so I wasn't sure where to go with this. I wanted the progression of their relationship to be as real as possible but I got stuck along the way. Please be nice! This is my second fanfic ever! Thanks to any and all kind words received or to be received. Next chapter will hopefully be up before New Years.