Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Suggested Listening: "Love & Loss" by The Honey Trees
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Bella stood in front of the head-to-toe mirror hanging on the back of her closet door, unabashedly yet warily appraising herself.
She couldn't help noticing how the few curves she had were finally starting to fill back out - how she hadn't realized how much weight she'd lost the past six months. The dark, puffy circles beneath her eyes were finally starting to disappear.
The rest of her imperfections were hidden from view, covered in a pair of skinny jeans and a black t-shirt.
Yet somehow, she still looked alive.
The reflection staring back at her wasn't of someone unrecognizable. It wasn't of someone she couldn't face or was ashamed to look at.
With a sigh, Bella finally pulled her gaze away from the mirror, letting her eyes drop. Seeing the metallic glint of the silver band on her finger, she allowed her thumb to brush over the emerald stone.
She hadn't been able to take it off. Not yet.
In the preceding months, two words had become Bella's lifeline.
Baby steps.
And the ones she made weren't all that impressive, at least not to her.
She left the house more - first, to the grocery store and eventually to Jacob and Anna's for dinner. She appreciated how they'd tucked the extra dining room chair away in the spare bedroom before she showed up, even if she noticed it anyway.
She went back to work, thanking god for small towns that looked the other way for a few months. That kept her administrative job at Forks City Hall open while she was away. It was never much, but it paid decent and came with dental insurance, something Bella knew she needed with an almost three-year-old.
While she was at work, Maddie got to go to Aunt Emily's and hang out with Levi all day.
At night, she and Maddie snuggled on the couch and watched the same cartoons they did before. The little girl was usually asleep by seven-thirty, but some nights, Bella stayed where she was until almost midnight, tucking a blanket around both her and her daughter, simply watching - more than once - the same worn-out Disney movie in the DVD player.
She abandoned the couch and slept in her bed. For an hour the first night, and two after that, until she eventually slept the whole night through without it becoming too much.
She took all of Embry's clothes out of the closet.
It had taken her nearly a week.
Eventually, when the donation box still sat empty, Bella called Leah to come help her. The two women sat cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by t-shirts and jeans and Leah was surprisingly patient with Bella when she stopped every few garments to swipe the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.
Bella figured it had a lot to do with the fact Leah was crying, too.
It was a painful, arduous process, but a step nonetheless.
And staring at her reflection in the mirror, Bella knew this day was another step. A bigger one that felt a little more like a gigantic leap than a baby step.
The entire pack was throwing their annual end-of-the-summer bonfire down on First Beach.
Jacob had questioned it, wondering if maybe it was too soon - if maybe it still wasn't time for any celebrations or parties or anything else of that sort. Eventually though, he decided to carry on like normal, because not doing it would have been worse. Still, he'd called Bella and asked for her input before he made the final decision, telling her it was ultimately up to her because he couldn't help feeling that if she and Maddie weren't up for it, the event shouldn't happen.
Bella had swallowed thickly, taking entirely too long to answer as she really did think about it.
As her eyes landed on Maddie, a curtain of dark hair spilling over her cheeks as she sat at the table coloring.
Coloring…
Bella closed her eyes, nodding, even though Jacob wouldn't see her.
"We should have it."
So there she was, about to attend her first official pack function, and she couldn't deny a part of her wanted to undo all those unimpressive baby steps, climb back into bed, and stay there until the day was over.
But she knew she couldn't, so she kept moving.
And in between all that, Quil kept showing up.
He'd taken the leeway Bella gave him that day outside the diner, even though he was cautious with it. Phone calls were made before visits and notes were left in plain sight on the kitchen table. Saturday afternoon ice cream trips into Forks became a regular thing.
There were still days Maddie asked simple, pointed questions Bella had a hard time answering. There were still times the little girl would bear down and unexpectedly burst into tears, the only reprieve for her cries something no one could give her. It broke Bella's heart every single time, still knowing there wasn't a single thing she could do to make it better. Knowing for now, she was still too young to understand what everything meant and how it wasn't reversible.
But in between that, there were moments that brilliant smile from the diner reappeared.
When Bella could feel a little piece of her heart cautiously fall back into place.
And a part of Bella couldn't help but think the bonfire might be good for her daughter - for the little girl to spend time around all the people who loved her most.
Bella couldn't help but think it might be good for her, too.
"That one's mine! I got it! I GOT IT!"
A loud, determined voice echoed from the kitchen as Bella walked down the narrow hallway leading from her bedroom.
"Ohhhhh, I almost had it!"
"Hippos!"
"Now, that one's mine!
"HIPPOS!"
The words were immediately followed by squeals of laughter.
Face screwing up in confusion, Bella rounded the corner into the kitchen, eyes falling a sight she hadn't expected to see.
At one end of the table, Maddie was perched on her knees, leaning precariously against the table. Across from her, Quil was hunkered down, both forearms pressed against the wood. His eyes were determined, brows knit in concentration as he faced off with Bella's almost three-year-old over a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Bella stood completely still for longer than she meant to, her curious eyes wandering from the bright red game board to the look of fierce concentration on Quil's face. To the way Maddie obviously had no idea she was playing a game that required any kind of skill. She was content to simply hit the lever, over and over and over, to open the hippo's mouth, enjoying the noise it made when she did.
How, despite Quil's best efforts, it was a game her daughter seemed to be dominating.
"How's it going in here?" Bella finally asked, just as Maddie's hippo snatched up the last white marble.
With a heavy, resounding sigh, Quil pushed off the table, sprawling back against the chair. Bella eyed him in amusement as she crossed the room, approaching the sink. Reaching above it for a glass, she switched on the faucet, sticking one finger beneath the stream to test the coolness of the water.
Quil had showed up an hour earlier, telling Bella he was there and available if she needed help with anything before the bonfire. She asked if he wouldn't mind sticking around and watching Maddie while she showered.
"You should keep your eye on this one before she decides to go pro at Hungry Hungry Hippos," Quil mused, the surprise still heavy in his voice.
Putting her glass under the water, Bella made an amused noise in her throat. "Are you sure you're just not really bad at it?" she retorted softly.
Quil chuckled, but the sound faded as Bella turned around, leaning back against the counter. Watching Quil, who was still staring holes through the board, and Maddie, who was trying arduously to line the marbles one by one for the next game.
A moment later, the little girl was bored with it, hopping off her chair and bouncing across the floor to Bella, who scooped her daughter up in one swift movement.
"Hippos is fun," Maddie murmured with a grin, before glancing back at her uncle Quil. Bella closed her eyes for a moment, savoring that smile before pressing a gentle kiss to the side of the little girl's head.
"This game is rigged," Bella heard Quil mutter under his breath.
Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to keep an unexpected smile from widening, Bella disregarded the tiny fingers she could feel playing with the ends of her hair.
"Actually, that table isn't really level. You just picked the bad side."
There were a couple long moments of silence as Bella waited, watching the befuddled gaze recede from Quil's expression. Watching a jarring clarity creep into his eyes.
"Huh. Well, that explains it."
And Bella laughed, a bigger part of her surprised by the sound it made falling from her lips.
The sound dissipated though as Quil looked up from the game, his eyes finding hers the moment she pressed her lips together into a thin line. As she let her gaze fall to the floor and her arms tighten around Maddie, another part of her feeling like it wasn't something she was allowed...not yet.
Glancing back up, Bella released a silent breath when she saw Quil smiling anyway.
When, for a single moment, she felt like it might be okay offer him one in return.
AN: I promised a little sunshine... ;)
Thoughts?