Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Suggested Listening: "Shelter" by The Strange Familiar

.

Bella went on the date.

A few days after her conversation with Quil in the diner, the guy from Public Works actually did ask her out, just as Angela said he would. Bella was silent for several long moments, one part of her somewhat stunned Angela was right. That another man was standing in front of her asking her out on an honest date.

Still, another part of her - a nagging, more dominant part - recycled Quil's words from the other day, each one on repeat in her head. Still trying to figure out where they'd come from as the other guy simply watched her, both eyebrows lifting until she realized he might actually walk away before she spoke.

Go on a date, Bella…

See what it's like...

It was all she could hear.

So she said yes, pushing that word out with an unconvincing squeak.

The guy's name was Travis. He had just moved to Forks from Port Angeles for his new job with the city. He was tall and broad and had the outline of a beard peppering the definition of his jaw. He was the youngest of four kids and his family still lived in his hometown in Oregon. He had a kind face and even kinder eyes, and he was quiet. He was soft spoken and he was nice.

He took her to dinner in Port Angeles. The conversation was easier than Bella thought it would be. He smiled when she told him about Maddie, and offered just the right amount of condolences when she briefly explained how the little girl's father had passed away in "an accident" over a year and a half ago.

Those eyes didn't check out. He didn't stand up and leave. He didn't run away.

But she decided entirely too early she and Travis likely would only be friends. He was nice, but the entire night, she felt off. Anxious. Like she didn't belong there. That something wasn't right. That something was missing.

Everything was missing, even if she couldn't figure out why.

As much as she tried, the only thing she could concentrate on was the lack of anything inside her when he watched her from across the table.

Travis dropped her off at her house before ten, and they exchanged amicable farewells. Bella thanked him for dinner but left it at that, seeing the subtle resignation in the man's eyes just as she climbed out of the car.

He hadn't asked for her phone number, and Bella couldn't help but think it was for the best.

In fact, she'd pretty much forgotten about it by the time she reached her front door.

"Bella, is that you?"

Slipping her shoes off near the kitchen door, Emily's voice drifted through the kitchen from the living room. With a sigh, Bella made her way toward the doorway.

"Yeah, it's me."

Emily had stood up from her place on the couch by the time Bella reached the living room, a perplexed look on her face despite the smile resting on her lips. "You're earlier than I expected you to be."

Bella shrugged, leaning against the arm of the couch and crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest.

"Did it not go well?"

Bella sighed again. "No, it went...great, actually. He was really nice. Attentive...didn't run away when I told him about Maddie."

Emily offered her a sympathetic smile, reading between the lines of what Bella was saying. "But not nice enough, huh?"

Taking a deep breath, Bella shook her head, absentmindedly twirling the emerald ring on her finger. For the first time that night, realizing it was still there and for a split second, realizing there was absolutely no way Travis wouldn't have noticed it, even if it hadn't mattered in the end.

"Oh, well," Emily replied, bending and grabbing the remote off the coffee table. With a press of her thumb, she shut off the television before putting the remote back where she found it. "It was only the first try, but the point is you got out. It's gonna be hard to see past a lot of things for awhile, I'm sure, but you tried...and that's huge, Bella. There'll be other chances."

"Yeah…" Bella murmured, watching Emily as the other woman made her way toward her.

"So Maddie went to sleep a little after eight," Emily continued, offering Bella a warm smile as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Last time I checked on her, she was snoring like she was going for an award."

Bella smiled in return, the first one all night that hadn't felt the tiniest bit forced.

"Thanks, Emily."

Once Emily was gone, Bella checked on Maddie one last time, tucking her stuffed rabbit back under her arm and straightening the blanket around her body. Moving to her own room, she shed her clothes, changing into a pair of cotton shorts and camisole. It was warmer than normal in the house, caused by an uncharacteristic August humidity hanging thick outside. Still, Bella grabbed a lightweight robe, pulling it on over her clothes before moving to the kitchen to get a glass of water before bed.

Still, Bella didn't quite make it to the end of the hallway before she heard a loud, urgent knock on the door. Frowning toward the source of the noise, she made her way through the kitchen, assuming Emily had forgotten something but simply didn't want to be rude by barging in without an announcement.

"Did you forget…?"

Pulling open the door, the sight that greeted her stole the breath straight from her lungs.

"Quil…"

He was standing a few feet back from the door, the light from above it barely reaching him. Still, it touched his features just enough for Bella to see the stress in his expression, how dark his eyes were and how his arms were clutched tightly across his chest. How every muscle in his body seemed tense. How he seemed to be holding himself together. Like he was fighting to keep control.

Like he was fighting with something inside him.

Taking a step forward, Bella gripped the edge of the door, her heart suddenly pounding the longer she watched Quil. She'd seen Embry look that way before...more than once. Jacob, too. She knew what it meant.

Quil's wolf was close.

She shouldn't have moved closer, yet she still did.

"Hey," she greeted him softly, cautiously, moving a little closer until her feet were on the step and no longer in the house. "You okay?"

Pulling in a deep breath, Quil finally moved when he closed his eyes, his forehead wrinkling beneath the weight of whatever he was thinking about. As he fought something he wanted to say. As he tried to pull together some kind of response for her.

"Are you by yourself?"

The question caught Bella off guard, causing a subtle shiver to snake its way up her spine. The way he said it, his voice low, agitated. Every bit of it sounding like someone she didn't know.

Bella crossed her arms in front of her, pulling her robe tighter around her body. "No one's here but me and Maddie. Emily just left."

Releasing a long breath, Quil nodded forcefully. "Can I come in?"

Holding her breath, Bella waited until he opened his eyes. Until he lifted them and his stare pierced directly into hers. Until she could see everything she already heard in his voice.

Ignoring the thrumming in her chest, Bella took a step back, moving aside to make room for Quil to pass.

And he did, brushing past her quickly, his steps determined and heavy as he disappeared into the hallway behind her. As Bella went against everything she knew about what Quil and the others were - knowing when she saw that look in their eyes, it usually was better to stay outside where there was room. Where there was space to get away.

She knew it, but it didn't matter as she carefully pushed the door closed behind them.

Turning around, her mouth fell open in a silent gasp when she saw Quil behind her. When she saw how he was leaning back against the wall, his body half-bent at the waist, dragging his hands roughly through his hair.

The agonized, painful expression on his face pulling at something inside Bella.

Scaring her, in a way she couldn't ignore, because she'd never seen Quil look that way. Ever.

So she kept her distance, at least until he could get a handle on whatever was going on inside him long enough to tell her what it was. Even though she knew the few feet separating them would have done little to protect her.

Even if she knew he would never hurt her...

"God," Quil groaned, suddenly straightening as he let his head fall back against the wall with a disconcerted thud. "This is so fucked up."

"Quil," she whispered his name again. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

He opened his eyes at the sound of her voice, even though he didn't look at her. He grimaced, even though he kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. "You're not gonna understand…"

"Try me," Bella assured quietly, taking an involuntary step forward. Another part of her wanting to close that distance despite her better sense.

Quil shook his head wildly, pushing himself off the wall. Turning his back to her, it allowed Bella to finally see the way he was shaking, visceral tremors rippling beneath his skin. Taking a couple steps, he turned back, re-crossing the distance before doing it again. Pacing frenetically when all Bella could do was watch and wait.

"I was sitting at home," he finally pushed out, and Bella could almost hear the exhaustion behind the words, pushed out on labored breaths as he stared at the floor, "and all I could fucking think about was that guy. The one you were out with…"

Bella's heart stuttered in her chest, a single second and a handful of words telling her what part of it was about.

"And all I could think about after that was if he was treating you right," Quil rambled, the words spilling out faster. "If he was being nice to you. And then I couldn't stop wondering if maybe you brought him home...if you brought him here and what if Maddie didn't like him?" He was facing Bella, still unable to look at her, his hands once again lifted to his temples and a burning feralness in his eyes that held Bella in place. "And what if he wasn't nice to Maddie and how I would fucking kill him if he wasn't."

A rough breath cut off his words, and he finally stopped moving, swallowing back whatever was cutting them off. "And it was just...too fucking much. Thinking about him here. In your house. Around Maddie...with you."

Bella's stomach sank, a shudder ripping through her body as she finally realized what it was really about.

As it turned her blood cold while, at the same time, pulling her yet another step closer to him.

"It's like...my wolf was going fucking insane, Bella, the more I thought about it," Quil pushed, his features crumpling beneath the difficulty of it. As Bella understood every bit of what was going on deep in his soul, even if she didn't have time to dwell on it. To wonder what it meant or compare it from her own thoughts from earlier that night.

Quil pulled in a sharp breath, taking a step back and negating hers. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't know, but I walked out my door and ended up here, because I couldn't shake it. Fuck, Bella, I still can't shake it…"

She could see it. It wasn't getting better. The war inside him wasn't dwindling, regardless of where his feet carried him. Regardless of what he found - or didn't find - when she opened the door. It hadn't comforted him and it hadn't soothed the beast inside him.

And just watching Quil - seeing how he still couldn't catch his breath, how he trembled in front of her, and how his face contorted beneath an excruciating pain she couldn't see - Bella remembered…

She'd seen this before.

And she tried to remember...what to do when it happened. The role she could play when animal and man were warring for dominance and it was becoming too much for the human to control. To fight. She tried to remember, because the sick feeling of helplessness in her gut only proved she needed to do something.

Because Bella also couldn't fight the feeling that she was the only person who could help. Who could make it better.

She didn't think. She didn't question when she took the last step needed, reaching for him. Grabbing Quil's hand without hesitation, she pulled him toward her, ignoring the muted growl that slipped from his throat but surprised at how easily he moved - at how quickly her breath left her when she felt his hands desperately grasp her waist. When she reached up, shaky fingers grasping his neck and pulling even more. Feeling his short, labored breaths spilling across the inches separating their mouths until she gathered his body against hers. Until she took a final step back and he followed.

Until her frame collided roughly with the wall behind her and all she could feel was Quil, the searing heat radiating from his flesh swallowing every single inch of her.

Praying her body - the contact something inside him craved - would do what it needed to soothe him.

She wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, her other hand stroking his cheek. Holding him in place and forcing him to look into her eyes when she did.

"It's okay," she whispered, feeling his skin beneath her hand. Refusing to pull it away, even though the reasons she was standing there - holding him that way - were suddenly blurring inside of her. "You're okay…"

And she could feel it - the tension dissolving from his muscles, loosening beneath her hands. His eyes closed as he fought to calm his breaths. As he grasped for some kind of focus he'd lost somewhere between where they were and when it all started.

He swallowed roughly, opening his eyes once more, close enough that Bella could see every fleck of gold in his dark irises. Lips parting, his breaths were more even. Lighter.

She let the arm wrapped around his neck pull back, releasing him. Knowing he wouldn't go anywhere when she lifted it, taking his face between both hands. Still refusing to let go, even when he finally spoke.

"I'm not ready for you to date, Bella…"

Closing her eyes, she leaned inherently into the warmth radiating from Quil's body, pressing her forehead against his and letting her hands fall to his chest. The words wrapped around her insides the same time she felt the heat from his palms soak through her shirt and into the skin beneath it, his warm breath washing over her lips.

"I tried," he whispered with a shake of his head, causing Bella to lean back. To hold her breath and search those eyes. "I wanted you to try...to maybe find something that wasn't this…" He glanced down at himself, a frustration seeping across his features. Glancing up, still-troubled eyes held hers as Bella refused to move.

"Quil…"

Bella couldn't help but frown, a part of her unable to believe what he was saying, even though it took her a single moment to understand. What he meant when he said it. What life he was talking about.

She wanted to argue. She wanted to reassure him…

But she didn't get the chance as he took a step forward, closing what little distance there was left between them.

Refusing to release her rapt stare, Quil brought one arm up beside her head, his palm splayed against the wall, his weight leaning against it. His other hand abandoned her waist, moving before she could feel thick fingertips graze her cheek.

"It doesn't matter. None of it fucking matters… because nobody is ever gonna be good enough for you, Bella," he breathed. "For Maddie...not anymore. Not in my eyes. Not me, not anyone...and I don't know what to fucking do with that, but I'm sorry I told you to go." He closed his eyes then, shaking his head softly. "I didn't want you to go."

Bella couldn't breathe, her eyes closing instinctively even after the words stopped. Suddenly feeling like maybe what she planned to say before wasn't needed, because he was there and he wasn't moving and neither was she.

And all she could remember was how nothing that night - nothing leading up to that moment - felt like it should...

But for a moment it was swept away when Quil suddenly leaned forward, her breath escaping her in a swift rush just before his lips unexpectedly captured hers. When she remembered to move as much as she needed to, returning the kiss after a single moment, neither of them taking it any further. Even when Bella reached up, letting her fingertips trail the length of his jaw, still tasting his breath on her lips long after he pulled away.

How just before he did, she felt everything.

Opening her eyes, Quil's were still closed, even when she reached up, again taking his face between her hands. Smiling before his eyes finally opened.

That time, knowing what she wanted to say.

"I'm not ready to date either," she whispered. "Not unless it's one where you're sitting across the table from me."

Quil's face crumpled, his expression a mixture of conflict and a palpable relief.

"Dammit, I don't know if I can…"

Releasing a sigh, Bella let her fingers trace the curve of his neck. "I don't know if I can either." Smiling, still, despite it all. Somehow meaning what she was about to say with every cell inside her.

"But this is my home. The pack is my family...they're my daughter's family. I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, the smile still lingering on her lips. "And you don't need to be good, Quil...you just need to be you."

The grin he gave her, even as he peered down at the floor, lit fire to Bella's insides.

He looked up, his smile falling slightly even though it was still there. Even though the traces that mattered still rested on the corners of his mouth.

"What the hell are we doing, Bella?"

She took a deep breath, wrapping each arm around his neck as her fingers tangled in the ends of his hair. As she felt his arms fold around her, pulling her into his body and holding her tighter than he ever had before.

"I don't know," she replied, "but I'm glad you came here."

She squeezed her eyes shut, cheek brushing against the thin cotton of his t-shirt.

"I'm glad this is where you ended up."

Better? :D

This was probably my favorite chapter up until this point...

Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed the last couple chapters. I will make sure to reach out to all of you at some point this weekend!

Thoughts?