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"Take the hands of what you've known,
we'll wake the earth and watch it grow,
and write our love."
~ "Wake The Earth" by The Honey Trees ~
.
Bella still thinks about Embry every single day.
She still notices his absence in the tiniest moments - in the ones he used to fill. She feels it every time she opens her jewelry box and her eyes sweep over the small emerald ring resting right next to her grandmother's locket. She feels it when the entire pack is together, when they all laugh and for a single moment, she remembers the one missing.
But she sees him, too - everyday, when she looks at their daughter.
Somedays, it's in the way Maddie smiles. Others, it's in the way she cocks a skeptical eyebrow whenever Bella says something she doesn't necessarily agree with. Sometimes, it's in the way Maddie knows exactly what to say and how her eyes go endless when Bella least expects them to - when she's lost in thought or dreaming or a million miles away from the twelve years of life she's lived.
Bella plans to give her daughter the emerald ring someday - when she's old enough to cherish it. When she's old enough to truly understand its importance, where it came from, and how much it meant to her mother.
It still hurts sometimes, but Bella has come to terms with the fact the phantom ache might never go away completely.
And its okay when she feels it.
Because she sees new things now, too - things that aren't better than what she and her daughter lost, but things that are just as good in different ways. Things that are just as much theirs.
Things that are just as important.
The things - the people - that taught them it was okay to wake up. To keep living. To keep smiling.
And Bella smiles…
She smiles when she walks into the living room after dinner some nights to find her daughter curled into Quil's side. When she sees his arm thrown lazily over her shoulder as they make fun of the characters on TV. When Quil gapes, stunned silent the first time Maddie points out a boy on the screen she thinks is "hot."
She smiles when he tells Maddie she's not allowed to date until she's thirty, somehow figuring out that's exactly what he's supposed to say.
Bella smiles each and every time Quil kisses her, because she can always feel him smiling too. When, after eight years, every single day he's still able to find new ways to love her and make her laugh.
And Bella smiles when she sees the deep brown eyes of a little boy who has his mother wrapped around his finger.
At four years old, his brilliant grin is already a force to be reckoned with. He's sweet and loud and a perfect little hurricane with a mop of messy curls, and it took Bella less than a month after his birth to figure out he would be his father's child, too.
It's a constant battle. Two - sometimes three - against one, and Bella starts to think she might always be standing on her side alone.
But not really.
Because she's never really been alone, no matter what she lost or how much she veered off course.
She has her memories - a time in her life and a man that gave her more than she could ever hope for. Someone who taught her what it felt like to be loved and what it meant to love unconditionally.
She has Maddie, who everyday, reminds Bella of why those memories matter. Proof of how the best parts of them will always exist and why it would be impossible for any of them to forget.
She has a little boy with slobbery kisses and sticky fingers who gives the biggest hugs in the world, showing Bella with every single one why taking that last step was worth it.
And she has Quil, who's never let go of her hand. Who's never stopped being there.
All of whom brought Bella more light than she could imagine. All of it showing her there could be life long after death. That sometimes the bitterest of endings can still bring a new beginning.
That no matter what, life can be good again.
Love you guys! Thanks so much for reading! I will reach out to say my final one-on-one thank yous after the holiday.
See you all next time! :)