"Everyone owns a gun deep inside
It's just a matter how much you let it slide
Help me help you
They won't be there
Help me help you
They won't see…" – Hurt by Thousand Foot Krutch
Fallen
Jayfrost glared at his reflection in the pool of murky water. A stranger within the pool merely looked back, not concerned of his un-kept fur and glassy eyes. A shadow fell on the ground beside him, alerting him of his mentor's presence.
"You see what's true." His mentor's voice remained calm and questioning, but in the back of Jayfrost's mind, he knew he was irate. Jayfrost continued his staring contest with the stranger.
"Give it up." Jayfrost's eyes flickered from the pool to the ground where his mentor stood, but he knew his mentor was talking about the contest, oh no. But he refrained from speaking in reply in fear of provoking more anger.
"All have to go. Every last one or you won't accomplish your mission." Jayfrost stepped back from the pool and looked his mentor straight in the eyes. He barely managed not to shiver as his mentor's lifeless black eyes searched his soul. Or what was simply remained of it.
"It remains. To achieve this, you mustn't keep it alive." He wasn't talking about Jayfrost's soul. Jayfrost nodded without considering what his mentor was talking about. But he couldn't let it die, either
It was his last connection to his home; his last hope of deliverance from this eternal torment. It was his last string connecting to life itself. He wasn't ready to sever it just yet.
"Find me when you're done." His mentor slowly left leaving Jayfrost in his traces of death and decay. But Jayfrost knew he would never be done until he faded from the stars. The image he had not thought of for so long returned and tortured his damaged mind.
She had been real enough. But he wasn't worthy. The stars had chosen different destinies for them and he could not have changed it no matter how much he rebelled. Yet, feebly, he still tried.
He was a lost kit. She was a blossoming forest.
Jayfrost stared down at his paws. They were still tainted with his victim's blood, and forever tainted in Jayfrost's own shame. He had betrayed them all.
He had killed the stars' messenger. The image of the tom's final gasp for breath was almost as bad as the scream of despair that followed it:
How could you.
He had a mission.
I trusted you.
You can't trust anyone. Not even the stars.
I loved you.
Too late.
I hate you.
I hate myself too.
Sticky blood ran down his fur. He wished it was his own.
Her screams were far more than pain. It was fear, probably for the secrets she would have to face alone. The others who dared to face them with her had died long ago.
But he was still here, facing them silently. He watched her daughter comfort the messenger's son knowing that she would be infected by the secrets soon.