Rory folded the map as tightly as she could and put it in her backpocket, knowing that if he saw it Jess would make fun of her, but she liked to be prepared. She had already marked about fifteen places nearby on the map that she wanted to visit. Right now, though, she was heading to Jess' bookshop. A block away, she saw him standing outside, leaning against the wall in that Jess-way, hands in his pockets, eyebrows raised at everyone who walked past, as though to say, "yeah, so?".

He looked up when he saw her and smiled, not in his cynical way, but with what looked like real excitement. Rory felt a hand gripping her stomach. Jess quickly regained his composure.

'You're here,' he said.

'All in one piece,' she replied.

'Shall we?' Jess said, indicating the door next to them. They were at the bottom level of what looked like a terrace apartment, but that, upon closer inspection, had been converted, a sign hanging above the door saying Nimbus Books.

'Nimbus? Nice name.'

'I hate that name,' Jess replied, his hand pushing through his hair, 'do you know how hard it is to make a logo for a nimbus? I told them to make it something normal, a horse or something.'

'A horse?'

'Something that people can actually draw. A word that people actually know.'

'I know what a nimbus is,' Rory objected.

'Yeah, well the rest of your clientele isn't necessarily Yale-educated. So, are we going in?'

'Not yet,' Rory said.

'Why not?'

'I need to talk to you.'

'Oh geez, right now?'

'I thought you wanted to talk,' Rory said.

He shrugged, 'this talk doesn't sound good.'

'It's not bad, I promise. There are just some things I need to say.'

'OK, but if this is you pouring pig's blood on me at the prom, I don't forgive so easy.'

'As easy as Carrie?' Rory asked.

'She was a dreamboat, trust me.'

Rory smiled, and pulled him along around the block until they found a bench that was clear. They sat down and Rory collected her thoughts.

'So,' Jess said, 'what'd you wanna say to me?'

'First of all, I want to say thank you.'

'Thank you? For what?'

'For having me to stay. For taking me in like that, for no reason.'

He shrugged, 'no problem.'

'It is a problem. It was totally unfair of me to do that.'

'You would've done the same for me, right?'

'I guess. Yes, of course, but–'

Jess interrupted:

'So I did what anyone would do, don't give me extra credit.'

'OK, fine. Have a normal amount of credit. Happy?'

'Ecstatic,' Jess said rolling his eyes.

'This next bit you're not going to like,' Rory said, hesitantly.

'OK, make it quick.'

'I didn't come here to take up your offer. This isn't me running away from Yale with you. I can't do that, Jess, I can't leave Yale. I can't leave my home or my family. So you just have to know right now that that isn't what I'm going to do. And–'

'Rory, wait. I know all this. I know you're not running away.'

'You do?'

'Yeah,' Jess said, sighed, and looked her right in the eyes, 'I was stupid. Coming to see you at Yale like that, asking you to run away with me. That was stupid. I was an idiot. I don't even know what I was thinking. I keep going over it and wanting to kick myself.'

Rory looked at him, wondering whether he finally understood.

'Of course you weren't going to leave Yale. You are Yale, Rory. And I don't understand it but I know it, now. To take you away from that would be like ––'

'Like what?'

'Like – taking you away from your mother,' he finished, sarcastically.

'I almost wanted to Jess.'

'Wanted to what?'

'Go with you. I couldn't and I can't, but I wanted to,' Rory said, feeling tears prickling in her eyes. She blinked them away quickly.

'But why are you here now, Rory? You still haven't told me. What happened?'

'I––' Rory started. I slept with Dean. Dean!

'Did you have a fight with your Mom?' Jess asked.

'Yes.'

'Over what?'

'I – I can't talk about it yet, Jess. I'm so so sorry to do this to you, but I can't. I will tell you everything soon.'

'Fine, whatever Rory,' Jess said and then added, softer, 'it's fine. Tell me when you want to, or can or whatever.'

'I'm sorry, Jess. Please understand.'

'I can't understand when I don't know!' he said, frustrated, 'you were crying Rory, you never cry.'

Rory shrugged, but didn't answer. Jess stood up and paced for a bit around the bench. Rory watched him, not sure what to say. Suddenly, he rounded on her:

'Tell me this, though, Rory. You came here. What does that mean?'

'That I trust you. That I consider you a friend.'

'A friend? What kind of a friend? Because this isn't like any other sort of friendship I've ever had.'

'I don't know! Jess, I don't know. I loved you. I know I said I wasn't sure if I did, but I did. I know I did, but you left, and you didn't call or you didn't call enough. You just left me, Jess. What kind of a friend is that?'

'A crappy one. I know and I'm sorry, Rory,' he was pacing again, gesticulating all over the place. He let out a groan: 'God, I wish you could just see inside my head because I can't explain it. I fucked it all up, Rory. But I had to come to Yale; I couldn't stand it. I couldn't go an hour without thinking about you – I felt like I was stuck in a Keats' poem and you know how much I hate Keats. But I felt like that, all on the edge of everything and I couldn't help it, I had to see you. And I did it wrong and I said the wrong things. I knew they were wrong even when I was saying but I just kept saying them.'

Rory was crying now, silent tears falling down her cheeks.

'Jess–' she said.

'Wait, Rory. Just answer me this. You came here. You came to me. Should I be hopeful, or should I just be bringing you Kleenex. Either way, I'm here. I just need to know.'

'I don't know,' Rory said.

'You don't know.'

'I don't. I'm sorry, I don't.'

'You don't know,' Jess repeated, tapping his foot, 'alright. No problem.'

'Really?'

'Hey, it's better than a No. Don't know I can work with.'