#1—When he has to go the bathroom take him to the lady's room and tell him it's the men's room

*Okay, an anonymous review was made (thxx for the advice) and she said that I didn't really give you much to review for. So here's another chapter!* Thank you for all the reviews and story alerts! I hope this makes up for last chapters lack of funnyness... OOH! I JUST MADE UP A COOL WORD! funnynessfunnynessfunnynessfunnynessssss! =D Uh.. right... the story!

disclaimer: I already! dissed my claim in the first chapter and i don't own chips ahoy cookies (DAMMIT!)
claimer:i own my list!

Chapter 1—Putting the Plan into Action

Max POV

20 minutes later Iggy and the kids came back.

Meanwhile, Fang and I were plotting world domination. Okay, okay, you caught me. We were actually planning how this list was going to work.

Phase one we like to call 'Bathroom Gender Reversal'.

When they all got back, Fang 'asked me' if we could go to Kmart and get a few things, which, surprisingly, wasn't a complete lie. We needed hot dogs. Yum.

"Iggy, I know you just got back, but I'd prefer not to leave anyone behind. We need to get some things from Kmart, so bring what you need; we're leaving in three minutes."

I heard a dark giggle from the back of the cave and silently prayed that Angel wouldn't give anything away.

As promised, three minutes later we were off in the sky. Fang flew to my right, his left wing overlapping my right; our wings in the middle of a synchronized choreography. He started whispering softly to me; it's a good thing Iggy is at the end because his hearing is beyond amazing.

Then Fang's quiet voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Max, we're here." I nodded and shouted to the others to prepare for landing. We angled our sore and tired wings so we could gracefully—or not… so… gracefully…—land in the back of Kmart.

After folding in our wings, we swiftly walked through the automatic doors. When we got to the food section, I realized how confused this made me. "Iggy, work your magic. I really am not good at this." He quietly chuckled and beckoned his partner-in-crime (Okay, Gazzy, but you all knew what I meant), over to where he was standing.

A half an hour later, we were finally ready to check out; turns out we needed more than I thought. On the Brightside, we got lots and lots of Chips Ahoy cookies because I felt deprived of my mother's. However, I was so caught up in the wonders of food that I almost forgot about the plan.

I winked at everyone and said, "Okay, last minute bathroom breaks!" The girls stuck with me because we couldn't go in the men's room, (LA DUH!), but we walked along with the guys anyway.

Iggy had his finger in Fang's belt loop. He and Gazzy brought their victim to the destination: the Ladies' Room. We stood two aisles away and listened.

"Hey, you guys coming?" Iggy asked, genuinely confused at why they stopped in their tracks at the "men's room" door. Gazzy shot a panicked look at Fang, but then swiftly pulled out a lie. "I already went."

Iggy's confused look only grew. "Where? And when?" Gaz cracked a mischievous grin.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know, man." Fang looked at the Gasman and softly shook his head; I could tell he was trying not to chuckle.

"Yeah, to tell you the truth, I'd rather do my business behind a tree than in a public bathroom. It's bound to get ugly in there. Luck for you, my friend, you're blind. So get a move on! I'm hungry as heck!"

Iggy sighed at Fang's remark and slipped inside te restroom. The boys backed away from the door and waited for the plan to take action.

Suddenly two loud female screams were heard, along with a short male yelp. The bathroom door flung open and two women—one heavy and short, the other tall and skinny—were beating the crap out of Iggy with their expensive Coach and Louis Vuitton purses.

All the while, Iggy was screaming. "Ouch, lady, geez, I'm blind, I didn't know! Ouch! WOW, THERE!" Silence. "Mommy," Iggy made a strained attempt of words and sunk to the floor writhing in pain.

Gaz and Fang looked uncomfortable.

Nudge's face was slightly turned and she whispered, "ooh, now that's gotta hurt." The ladies grabbed him and threw him out the doors.

"And stay OUT!" We looked at each other briefly and burst out in held-in laughter.

We made our way out the doors to where Iggy was against the wall of the building holding his crotch… area.

"That was low. And so not funny!"

I laughed. "You're right, Ig, that was low, and was definitely not funny."

Gazzy lauged again. "No, man, that was HILARIOUS!"

I hope you liked Phase One! I know Zach did.

Zach: *laughing hysterically on the floor* HAHAA! FOR ONCE YOU'RE NOT TORTURING ME!
Me: right... about that...
Zach: Oh boy...
Me: REVIEW OR HE DIES!
plz R&R... but on second thought... i was just kidding about that last statement. I'd prefer to keep my criminal record clean.

~abbbbbbbbz