It's not until the girl slumps to the floor and Amelie and Myrnin stand in shock, staring at me that I realise what I've done. I've just done the one thing I swore I never would: I took an innocent life. I killed her.

I take a deep breath that I don't need and stare at her. Her neck is tilted slightly and she looks incredibly pale, almost as though she's a demon like I am. But that's not what I look at, I'm staring at the bite mark on her neck. It's small, but it's messy - the signs of a newborn, inexperienced vampire. Her blonde hair is stained with red and it's matted and stuck to the side of her neck. Glazed, blue eyes stare into nothing, fear etched everywhere within them. Did I really do this? I guess that answers Amelie's questions. I really am a monster now.

"No, no, no," I whimper, falling down onto my knees beside her limp body. I search frantically for a pulse, although we all already know that I won't find one. She's dead. I killed her. Those two sentences keep swirling around in my head as I start sobbing hysterically.

"Claire," I hear Myrnin say and I feel him pulling me too my feet. I cover my face with my hands, I don't want him to know what I am. I'm terrified that if he saw me, he would hate me, like I hate myself.

"It's okay, Claire, you're still knew at this," He says softly, as if reading my thoughts, "I've lost control far more times that you ever will, I won't judge you"

"It's not okay, she's dead," I scream at him, and I'm only half aware that Amelie is behind me, ordering guards to clean up the body. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the limo and I look terrible. My clothes are creased and stained, and my hair is all over the place too. I look as though I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. That's not what breaks me, though, it's the sight of my face. There's blood covering my mouth and my new fangs are sticking out as I cry. My eyes are flaming red, and I look how I feel. Like a monster.

I don't know how we get there, but when I look up I'm in the lab. Myrnin pushes me into an armchair and tells me not to move. I don't. When he returns, he's holding a wet cloth and he's scrubbing my face. I keep sobbing as he tells me that it's okay, that no one will know and he'll help me. He won't let it happen again.

"I'm a monster," I tell him, "I didn't want this, Myrnin. I promise, I didn't want to kill her,"

"You could never be a monster," He replies, "You made one tiny mistake, it's okay,"

I want to scream that draining the life out of someone because you couldn't handle being thirsty isn't the same as if I spilled something. I didn't just make a 'tiny mistake', I took someone's life away. Who knows what they were? A sister? A daughter? A mom? But at the same time, his words soothe me and eventually, I calm down enough to realise that Amelie is sitting on the stairs, watching me carefully.

"Claire..." She says and for some reason, she sounds sad, as if this upsets her, too.

"Don't tell Shane," I blurt out, not caring that I interupted her and it's 'bad manners', "Or Michael. Or Eve. Tell them you're making me work with Myrnin,"

"You can keep it from them forever," she says, and I realise that forever has a different meaning now. Before, forever was 80 or so years. Now, it's infinite. Shane and I won't last for my forever, because now, as he grows older, I will stay the same. We'll never have kids or grandkids. We'll never get married or do any of the good stuff now. I want to start sobbing again, but I think I'm all cried out.

"For now," I tell her, before adding a broken, "Please, Amelie,"

"For now," She repeats softly, her wide blue eyes staring into mine, "On the condition that you let Myrnin teach you how to control the thirst. He will teach you the rules of this life,"

I nod, Myrnin can do what he wants to me, as long as my friends never have to find out what I am. Sure, Michael will find out eventually, but for now, they don't need to know. I can't deal with them hating me, as well. Especially Shane. His instinct is to hate me now.

"I'll see you soon, Claire," Amelie tells me, then nods at Myrnin before leaving. Somehow, I know it's not the usual, 'see you later', she means it.

Myrnin and I are alone now, and when I check the time, it's nearly morning. Logically, I should we nearly falling asleep on my feet, but instead, I feel wide awake. Soon, the sun will rise and we will have another oppurtunity to test out my non-sensitivity to the sun.

I don't know what overtakes me but the next thing I know is that I'm shoving Myrnin against a wall and pushing my lips to his.

Thank you to the following: amy-vampire1, vampire1, cheesepuffzapper as well as a huge thanks to clairebear97 who is one of the nicest people on here and always gives me lovely reviews. You guys inspire me to write more and more, thank you :)