"It's no use!" I whine childishly, "We've been here for nearly 3 weeks now and I'm still not making any progress!"
"You are making progress, just... slow and steady, that's all," Myrnin argues. I know he's lying. As I told him before, we've been trying all day, every day for 3 weeks to get some kind of control over my thirst but it's not working. I'm still as wild and unpredictable as I was the day that I killed that girl in the alleyway.
I'm the only vampire that has been so slow to the learning. Not being able to do somethings annoys me so much, and knowing that I'm risking innocent people's lives by not being able to do it annoys me more. I try to channel my anger into the practices but as soon as I see the blood, something inside of me clicks and I can't help but try and get the red liquid in a way possible, no matter who gets hurt or dies.
Michael didn't even have to do this kind of training, he had perfect control right from the start. Other vampires struggled for the first 2 or 3 days then got better at it. As Myrnin unhelpfully told me one night, in his whole lifetime, I am one of 3 vampires who have keep losing control for over a week. Amelie killed the other two before they hurt someone, she thought that they would never recover.
So why am I still here? I've lasted three times as long as any of the other vampires that can't control the hunger. I am a danger to humans in Morganville, that was proved when I blindly drained a girl. Maybe she feels guilty, after all, I only became a vampire because I tried to help her. Maybe she feels like she owes it too me, after I saved her life. That would make sense, except for the fact that it's Amelie we're talking about. She's notorious for not letting her feelings get in the way of her role as founder. Even Myrnin agrees that this isn't like her at all.
I sigh, throwing myself down onto a seat in the lab. I put my head in my hands and as much as I feel like crying, I don't.
"Maybe we can leave today's work there," Myrnin says sheepishly, "You've worked hard,"
"Not hard enough..." I mutter under my breath, despite knowing full well that Myrnin can hear me clearly anyway.
"Stop beating yourself up, this is the hardest thing a vampire can do. You have made progess, honestly!" I can read Myrnin like a book, I know he's lying. I nod though, realising that he's making a huge effort to be nice to me and it wouldn't be fair for me to just ignore that.
I stand up, "Shall we take today's blood sample then," That's Myrnin's second job, after trying to teach me. He has to try and find out why I'm not burning in the sun like all the other vampires. He has a theory that when I changed, my genetics went haywire and I still have aspects of human inside of me. We can't prove it though, so we keep running different tests every day to see what happens.
I jump up onto the desk, surprising myself with how graceful and light I've become since I change. Myrnin grabs a syringe and a vial and I hold out my arm, knowing exactly what he's going to do after weeks of watching him do it every day. He draws blood quickly and easily, watching as my small cut heals over before I even feel the needle in my arms.
"Do you want to talk about our-" He starts.
"No," I snap quickly, cutting him off before he has the chance to even say the word. Kiss. Our kiss. It was the night that I killed that girl. My emotions were heightened and I feel terrible for kissing him. I think that he really has feelings for me. Stratch that, I know he does! I do have feelings for him too, but I love Shane!
My perfectly human, adorable dork of a boyfriend is back in my head again. Appartently, he's been phoning Amelie nearly everyday asking about me but like she promised, she doesn't teell him that I'm a vampire. He knows that I'm in Morganville though, but he's been told that I was relocated and that I don't want to be found. I can't help but feel a pang of guilt thinking about what his reaction must have been like. He's probably confused and angry, after all, he just got me back before I leave him again. I get past it by telling myself that this best for him. The only reason I'm here with Myrnin is so that I can be safe around him.
Or atleast, I tell myself that's the only reason I'm staying with Myrnin.
It's only 3 o'clock which means I have some time to kill until it's dark enough that Myrnin can outside to teach me how to hunt. So for the next 4 or so hours, I watch TV, mess around with science stuff, study for classes that I probably won't ever get to attend again and cartwheel round the lab out of sheer boredom. It gets to the point where I think I'm driving Myrnin crazy (crazier than usual, anyway) when Amelie walks in.
She's wearing a pale beige suit and is back to looking like her normal, proud self. I'd been a bit worried about Amelie in the days following Oliver's attack and inprisonment. They'd been friends, sometimes more, and he betrayed her. Amelie likes to pretend that she don't get scared or feel upset but I think that secretly, she loves more deeply than anyone and hell, she can hold a grudge.
"Amelie," Myrnin greets, from the other side of the lab, nodding his head at her.
"Good evening Myrnin," I almost cough at her forgetting me, before she turns to me, "Good evening to you, also, Claire,"
I wonder why she's here. We hadn't been expecting her, this was definitly a surprise visit on her part. Amelie visited me regularily to check on me, but today was Thursday which meant that she shouldn't be here until tommorow. I instinctively thought it must have been a mistake until I remembered that Amelie rarely makes mistake, especially ones as small an basic as what day it was. She must be here for a reason.