AH! I'm awful, and prepared to be pelted with tomatoes and month-old trash for not updating when I said I was going to. I do have a bit of an excuse, but I feel extremely pathetic for using it. Okay so this summer I met a guy, and quite honestly he was the most perfect guy I had ever met. Literally, he was everything I had ever wanted in my dream guy, and he liked me too. So I spent so much time with him over the summer, which is why I didn't update then. And then right before school he randomly decided to break things off with me... and I've been spending the past 4 months trying to put myself together. And let me tell you, that has not been an easy task. Any time I think I start to get over him, there he is again, popping up in my mind and making me think about how sweet he was over the summer. But I'm going to stop there because I doubt any of you care, especially since he was indirectly the cause of my four or five month absence. Soooo, say no more, here is the story!

Previously on 50 Ways to Annoy Iggy: THE STORY

BELL

Iggy sightlessly stared up at me. I admit, I was feeling guilty, but it's all for a bit of fun, right?

"What, so now it's just magically my cold and musty basement?" Iggy poked at me, and then started muttering to himself.

"Oh, I don't know, Iggy, maybe that's what they do when they feel they have an intruder. They don't like their new company and ZAP! BAM! ZOOF! Narnabithia is a cellar..." I trailed off lamely. "I do admit, it's darker than I remember... definitely less grassy. Gah, dear. Hmmph."

Iggy sighed angrily from below me. "But WHY would they do that? Why can you get in but I can't? All I want is some peace and quiet... I WOULD EVEN BAKE ASLAN AND JESS A CRÈME BRÛLÉE!"

# 18- because Aslan doesn't like birds. and Jess misses Lesli so badly that he doesn't even care anymore

IGGY

I found myself mumbling on the cold and damp ground of Narnabithia-cellar, even though I really had no idea what I was mumbling about. I think it had something to do with lions, a bird and crème brûlée... Oh, yea, that's right. Let's face it though, I make a mean crème brûlée.

Anyone, whether talking lion or little boy loves this crème brûlée. Ain't no doubt about it, girlfriend. I, uh... sorry.

I thought I might have sprained my ankle or something because any time I tried to get up, an intense pain shot through my entire right leg.

"Bell? Aslan? Jess? Anyone?" I heard a very pathetic whimper leave my mouth. Great. I've resorted to whimpering like a hopeless baboon. Spectacular. I heard the door open again. Somebody had heard my pleas for help!

"Iggy! Oh, Iggy, goodness, you're still down there? I'm so sorry, I've talked to Aslan and Jess. It just, well, oh dear. It seems that Aslan has an issue with birds and Jess, well, poor Jess just doesn't care about anything ever since the whole Leslie situation. It seems that they turned Narnabithia into a cellar upon your arrival due to an awful prejudice. You should probably come back up here."

It was Bell. The sweet and innocent neighbor who had just wanted to give me my peace and quiet. Too bad the cold and hard rejection on the cold and hard cellar floor seemed to have turned my heart cold and hard.

"Well Bell, there's kind of a problem. See, when I was ferociously shoved into Narnabithia, which is now a freaking CELLAR, it seems that I sprained my right ankle. I can't walk anywhere."

I heard Bell cough uncomfortably. "Oh, Iggy. I'm sorry, I'll come down and help you." I heard soft and delicate footsteps venture down stairs, and if it weren't for the fact that I was very irritated, I probably would have thought they were cute. I felt a tiny arm wrap around my side as she helped me stand up.

"No offense, Iggy, but you know I can't completely support you..." Bell hesitated as she started up the stairs. I waited for her to help me, stubbornly not doing a very good job with complying.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Okay, guys, it's short, I know. But you kind of have to expect that, what with the short bullets on the actual list. Otherwise, do you think it was up to par? I've had awful writers block as well, and I find that these are a bit harder to write considering they are so short I want to include as much detail as possible. So maybe that makes them even better, who really knows. So I would seriously love it if I got some feedback, even if it's really just a review filled with resentful hate. I'd take that. I just love you all so much because you're all so sweet and understanding, and I want you to know that even if it takes me a while to update usually, I won't give up on you all!

Love and Grumpy Mugs,
Abby