A/N: Hi guys, so I know I haven't updated this story in a while... I blame it on school and a bit of indecision on my part about how I wanted the story to end. Nevertheless, this story was always on my mind and I wanted to wrap this up before the end of the year, and after watching some Charah montages, I finally put finger to tablet, so here it is. Hope you enjoy.
Word count: 9,399
Thursday, August 28th 2014
After their discussion, Chuck and Sarah decided it was time to head to bed. They were both tired and future discussions would have to wait. As they pulled down the covers, Chuck looked over to Sarah. "You ok?"
She nodded and climbed in to bed. Chuck turned off the bedside lamp and joined her. She snuggled up to his warmth and the pair fell asleep in their favourite position soon afterwards.
Sarah awoke around 1:30 AM, intent on making her way to the nursery for CJ's feeding. Her breasts were already feeling heavy and her body ached for the baby. She lay down for a few moments, expecting CJ's incessant hungry cries to crackle over the monitor; but nothing came. She popped one eye open and looked at the alarm clock. The time 1:34 AM glared at her in bright red. She frowned; CJ was usually up and hungry around this time. Sarah propped up against the headboard and then noticed that Chuck's side of the bed was empty. Patting it, she felt the warmth dissipating and surmised that he had slipped out more than half hour ago. She figured he had some loose business ends to tie up or something; Casey had mentioned something about a contract earlier that night she foggily remembered. Shrugging it off, she swung her feet over the bed and stepped into her bedroom slippers. Pulling her hair back into a low bun using a hair ribbon, Sarah paused when she heard Chuck's voice come over the baby monitor.
"I made a promise to your Mom a few hours ago, and now I'm gonna make one to you." The baby cooed softly and Sarah sat back down on the bed with the monitor in her hand. "I promised her that I'd be there for the both of you, and I will. I know you won't remember any of this, but I will keep that promise...nothing is going to make me go back on my word, not if I have any say in it. I will be the kind of father that when you get older you will always remember that I loved you and that I was there for you, whenever you needed me, and even at times when you didn't want me to be there." Chuck chuckled at that and Sarah did too; she could totally see him as being an overbearing parent in the future and she'd be the cool one. "Anyways, I know your Mom has been having a bit of a rough time with you lately but I think that you and I can make a deal, alright little guy?" The baby gurgled and Chuck took that as a sign that he was paying attention so he continued. "How about we do our best to keep Mummy happy? I know sometimes, you'll be cranky and …." Sarah felt like she was invading Chuck's private time with CJ and shut the monitor off before returning it to its station on the bedside table.
Since CJ was not crying, Sarah guessed that he woke up and warmed some of the refrigerated milk. Still, her breasts were beginning to get sore so she fetched the pump from in her chest of drawers. After relieving most of it, Sarah slipped downstairs and into the kitchen. She threw the older milk from the fridge and replaced it with the fresher supply. Although she had read that breast milk never went off and that it could even be frozen and stored for an extended period of time, she didn't like to have him drinking milk which was older than a day. Although should CJ get up again, she would gladly feed him. When she returned upstairs, Sarah saw that the nursery light was still on, casting a soft glow in the corridor since the door was slightly ajar. She tip toed and stopped just outside the door, listening to Chuck as he sung a lullaby to their son. Heart warmed, she continued onto the master bedroom. Sarah turned back on the monitor and Chuck's melodic singing soon filtered through the room, lulling her back to a restful sleep.
Friday, August 29th 2014
Sarah woke up to find Chuck snoring softly. The soft morning light bathed his face and she lightly traced the outline of his lips and nose. Sarah climbed over his body, watching him and found that the warmth that his body provided was comforting. Her hands trailed down his chest, playing with the hairs there. After a moment of hesitation, Sarah bent and brought her lips to Chuck's. He didn't respond, and she was a bit disappointed. Trying again, this time she put a bit more force into the kiss and applied more pressure to his lips. Chuck groaned and reflexively grabbed her hips, pinning her in the current position. Slowly, he opened his eyes and was met by what he considered to be the most beautiful sight ever.
"Good morning." Sarah greeted.
"Good morning." He released his hold from on Sarah but she did not move from her position. Chuck looked at her questioningly.
"I'm waiting on my good morning kiss." She explained.
"Well can't that wait until I've brushed my teeth?"
Sarah scoffed. "I'm clearly losing my touch if you're finding excuses not to kiss me." said Sarah, offended. Chuck mentally cringed. He hadn't meant it like that. Sarah scrambled to get off of him, but before she was able to get out of bed, Chuck had her pinned beneath him. "Chuck," she snarled "get off of me."
He frowned. "I thought you wanted your morning kiss?"
"Well not anymore." She snapped, thinking that Chuck didn't find her attractive. Still, Chuck didn't move and his gaze was unwavering. Chuck pressed his face into hers and the stubble on his chit bit into her face.
Chuck trailed kisses down Sarah's jaw line and to her neck. He stopped where her neck met her shoulders and let his warm breath ghost over her skin. The sharp intake of breath by Sarah made him smirk. Sarah bit down on her bottom lip as a warmth and wetness developed in her body. Chuck's long arms travelled down her body, leaving Sarah feeling as though she was on fire. Desire woke up in Sarah like water bursting from a dam as Chuck began to draw circles on her body, teasing her sensually. Their clothes were soon shed and Sarah brought his hungry lips to hers and took him deep inside her body.
"How was that for a good morning kiss?" asked Chuck as he wrapped his arms around Sarah.
She smiled from her position on his chest. She was about to answer when CJ's wails came over the baby monitor. Smiling at Chuck, she hopped out of bed and threw on her nightie and left the room to tend to their son.
/\
The doorbell rang and Sarah volunteered to get it, while Chuck changed CJ's diaper. She jogged down the stairs and checked the security camera before opening the door.
"Ellie, it's so good to see you." Sarah greeted.
"Same here. It's been too long." Ellie replied, closing the door behind her and then pulling Sarah into a hug. "How are you?"
"I'm OK." Sarah said. "And yourself?"
"A bit tired, but I'm good. I missed you guys though. I feel like we all haven't been together in ages!" Ellie chuckled.
Sarah nodded in agreement. "How's work at the hospital?"
Ellie shuddered. "Tiresome. Honestly, I feel like I've been worked to the bone." Sarah smiled sympathetically. "I'm just glad to finally have a day off. What about you? How have you been doing?"
Sarah sighed softly, not quite sure how to reply. To her, Ellie had always been pretty much perfect, she had an awesome husband, a good job, an awesome daughter and she seemed an awesome mom, and when she looked at herself, Sarah didn't think she could hold a candle to Ellie when it came to parenting. She remembered Mary telling her about Ellie's difficulty with Clara, but she didn't completely believe her, after all, Ellie was Mrs. Freaking Awesome. Sarah wondered if she should tell Ellie about the trouble she'd been having with CJ and wondered if she hadn't heard, whether by Chuck or her own mother.
"Um, things have been a bit um, challenging." Sarah admitted.
"With CJ?" Ellie prodded.
"Yea, I'm surprised no one told you yet, I pretty much went off on Chuck last night about him working so much." She and Ellie moved their conversation to the couch.
Ellie laughed softly and covered Sarah's hands with hers. "Trust me Sarah, I know what you mean. I went off on Devon a couple of times too; especially when he wanted to go on those stupid hikes or his frat brothers came to visit and I was left to care for Clara on my own. And don't even let me get started on when he had thirty-two hour shifts at the hospital… I wouldn't let him hear the end of it, always asked if he couldn't switch with someone so he could work twenty-four, come home and be with us for a while and then go back." Ellie shook her head. "And when he got home, I would just talk his ear off. I'm telling you Sarah, I almost went out of my mind being with Clara only and not having an adult conversation. I remember this one time, he came home and I had been so bored that I had charts and statistics done relating to Clara…And then of course there was that time when we went to the Buy More seeking help. You know how much I loathe that place." Ellie shuddered. "But when you're operating on less than five hours of sleep and smell like Cheerios and vomit, you'd do pretty much anything."
Sarah nodded. "So how did you do it?"
"Honestly, it's a continual learning process. I think you just have to take things one day at a time. Of course having your spouse being there for you goes a long way, speaking of which I could talk to chuck for you."
"Oh no, that's not necessary." Sarah told her.
"Oh, and taking a break is always a good thing. Sometimes us moms just need a break, you know, some time to let your hair down and have some fun or else you'll run ragged."
Chuck came down the stairs, with CJ in his arms, intending to ask Sarah something about CJ's bouncy chair. The question however died on his lips when he saw his sister sitting on the couch with Sarah, sipping a drink. "Ellie, what're you doing here?"
Ellie turned to him and frowned. "Chuck, is that the way you greet your sister?"
She walked over to them and cooed at CJ. "I certainly hope you get your manners from your mom, cause my knucklehead brother isn't so polite."
Chuck handed CJ over to Ellie, who gushed at how big he was getting. "Sorry, didn't mean to sound rude," Chuck scratched the back of his head "I'm just a bit surprised to see you." He hugged her gently, careful not to squish his son in her arms and kissed her on the cheek. "What brings you by?" Chuck asked, taking a seat next to Sarah.
"Well, I wanted to see you guys of course, but I also wanted to ask Sarah something."
"Um, OK, shoot."
"Well, I don't know if you heard, but The Hotel Hershey opened a couple of months ago and my friend Margo took her Mom to their spa two weeks ago and she said it was a-m-a-z-I-n-g, and I checked the online reviews and it seems to be as good as she said, so I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."
"Really?" Sarah was stunned. She had heard about The Hotel Hershey and had seen some pictures. If the hotel was as luxurious as it looked in the pictures, she could only imagine the spa. But while a spa trip did sound nice and relaxing, she did have CJ to look after and she let Ellie know as much. Ellie was about to protest her claim when Chuck spoke up.
"I think that's a great idea Ellie. You two should go."
Sarah scrunched her eyebrows. "Are you sure? What about work?"
"Mhmm, positive. CJ and I will be fine, and as for work, I think as the boss I can take an off day; especially considering that I've been working so much in the past couple of weeks."
"Ok." Sarah said happily. She hopped up from the couch and told Ellie that she'd be back in a couple of minutes, she needed to change. Meanwhile, Ellie and Chuck caught up a bit and played with CJ. Sarah joined them ten minutes later. She was now dressed in a fuchsia knee length dress and gold strappy sandals with her hair flowing down to her shoulders. She handed Chuck two bottles of fresh milk which she had also pumped while upstairs. He looked at her questioningly. "Just in case what's already in the fridge isn't enough."
Ellie placed CJ in his playpen and turned to Sarah. "Ok, are you ready to go?"
"Yea," she affirmed grabbing her handbag. "Are you sure you will be fine with CJ?"
"Sarah, pfft, of course I'll be fine. CJ and I will have a great time. I'm thinking we can watch some Star Wars, eat some pizza…"
"That sounds more like you're taking care of Morgan and not an eleven weeks old baby Chuck." Ellie laughed.
"I'm joking, well about the pizza anyway." Chuck mumbled the last part. "But seriously, babe, you look gorgeous, like oh my gawd, drop dead gorgeous, I would ask you to marry me immediately if we weren't already gorgeous…" Chuck rambled.
Ellie coughed. "I think we get the point Chuck."
"Not that you aren't gorgeous as well Ellie." Chuck placated, "I just don't want to sound too weird talking about how gorgeous you are because well, you're my sister and…shutting up now." Chuck said, making a motion of zipping his mouth and throwing away the key.
Ellie shook her head at him. "See you later Chuck and bye bye CJ." She said, making her way to the door.
Chuck took CJ from his playpen and used his hand to make CJ wave. "Say bye bye CJ."
Sarah smiled and wrapped her arms around them. "I love you." Chuck whispered in her ears.
"Love you too." She said sincerely. After giving kisses to Chuck and CJ, Sarah joined Ellie at the door and the two exited the house.
"You two are so sappy, you know that?" Ellie teased. "Gosh, it's enough to make me nauseous."
/\
Ellie had signed them up for the complete package, which included a Chocolate Massage, a Chocolate Fondue Wrap, the Hershey Facial and signature manicure and pedicure.
Sarah was a bit hesitant about the treatments, since most of them required her to be mostly naked, which left no place for her to hide her knives and she expressed as much to her sister-in-law. "You brought your knives with you?" Ellie whispered, completely mortified.
Sarah shrugged as they continued to strip in the changing rooms. "Well yea, didn't I tell you about the thirty-foot rule? A good agent should never be without a backup weapon."
"Don't tell me you brought your gun too."
"Fine, then I won't."
Ellie put on a robe and put away her clothes in a locker, Sarah did the same. "I'm pretty sure you won't find a need to use any of those while we are here, but if we do, I'm sure you're fine on your own, knives and guns or no." Ellie complimented.
"Thanks, now let's get this show on the road."
"By the way, did you know that the cocoa fruit acts as an anti-oxidant to combat the visual signs of aging?"
"Are you calling me old Ellie?" Sarah smirked.
"Never, you look like you could pass for twenty-five."
"You and Chuck sure do know how to compliment a girl. Although he would probably exaggerate and say twenty-one." The ladies laughed. "But you're not so bad yourself." She returned the compliment.
They decided to get the Chocolate Massage first. The masseuse used the spa's signature chocolate scented massage oil and gently massaged their bodies, allowing them to relax, and enjoy chocolate without a single calorie. Sarah hummed as she felt the tension leaving her body and all the kinks and knots being worked out. Despite her initial hesitation, Sarah found the Fondue Wrap to be quite wonderful. First, their bodies were luxuriously polished from head to toe and the fondue application followed. It was an exclusive formula of warm moor mud and essence of cocoa which soothed, conditioned, revitalized and nourished the skin as it relaxed the body. Their bodies were then enveloped in a soft warm blanket to enhance the total effect, and after ten minutes in the blanket, a Vichy Shower rinse culminated the effect. As Sarah lay on a padded table, the seven shower jets caressed her body under an invigorating waterfall which produced a sensation of floating on water. The shower was supposed to increase the flood circulation, hydrate the skin, and soothe the nervous system, thereby enabling the body to balance and your muscles to relax. When they emerged from their separate showers, Sarah thanked Ellie profusely. Her skin had never felt so soft and nourished as it did now. Ellie giggled and said she felt the same way.
"So, what are we doing after the manis and pedis?" Sarah asked Ellie. They were now wearing their facial masks while their feet soaked in a tub of warm water and the manicurists worked on their nails.
I was thinking that we go to lunch, but after that, I didn't plan anything, so if you have anything in mind, I'm game."
"Lunch sounds nice, but after that, I think I'll head home, I hope you don't mind."
"Missing them already huh?"
"You have no idea." Sarah smiled.
"I don't mind, I think I'll head home and catch up on some sleep before its time to pick Clara up from school, because heaven knows that after she comes home I'll be chasing after her and won't have some peace and quiet until Devon comes home."
/\
Sarah was convinced that their spa treatments must have cost Ellie a couple hundred dollars. That type of luxury did not come cheap and she had wanted to pay half of the bill, but Ellie insisted that it was her treat. Still, she felt uncomfortable having Ellie pay for everything, so she offered to pay for lunch but again was shot down by Ellie who said that lunch at the hotel was complimentary to patrons at the spa who chose the Exclusive Package which they had. Sarah accepted, but promised that next time it would her who footed the bill.
Before the waiter came to take their order, Sarah excused herself to go to the bathroom. On her way back to the table, decided to call Chuck. She was happy to hear that although CJ had been a bit cranky since she left and refused to take the bottle when Chuck had first tried, he eventually settled down, drunk his milk and was now asleep. She told Chuck that she would be home soon, conveyed her love and ended the call just in time to see the waiter approaching their table. Ellie ordered grilled shrimp and baby kale salad, linguine with caramelized cauliflower, a glass of 86 Chateu LeFranc. Sarah meanwhile ordered warm roasted chicken and spinach salad, rice with pan seared Pocono trout fillets and a glass of water. For dessert, they shared a Reese's peanut butter pie. Both ladies were stuffed afterwards.
"Sarah, I swear, if you don't help me work off all those calories I'm not taking you out ever again." Ellie huffed.
"I'll have just as many to work off, if not more, so there's no need to worry." Sarah informed her. "I'm the one who still has baby weight."
"Have you seen yourself?" Ellie asked incredulously. "You've lost a lot of your baby weight. The calories from that lunch won't do you a thing. Besides, I never liked that pressure to slim down right away. Some women feel like they have to be back to their pre-baby figure and weight days after giving birth. Me on the other hand, I'm sure the pounds will pack right on."
Sarah twirled her hair and laughed. "Come on Ellie, you're exaggerating. You'll always be awesome."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "I don't know, I think my so called awesome body is getting a bit confused. Two days ago, I found a pimple on my forehead and plucked a grey hair. It's like my body doesn't know if I'm going through puberty or mid-life."
Sarah laughed again at Ellie. Talking to her, Sarah realized how much she had missed spending time with her. They left a tip for the waiter and left the hotel thoroughly satisfied.
When Sarah and Ellie returned to the Bartowksi household, they found Chuck and CJ asleep in the master bedroom. Ellie awed at the sight of seeing Chuck and CJ lying in identical free fall positions; both being lying on their tummy with their hands at the sides of their head.
Ellie then bid Sarah goodbye and promised that the family would get together soon. Thereafter, Sarah changed into an orange camisole and a capri sweat pants before joining them in bed. For a long while, she watched both of them, utterly contented. Ellie had joked about being surprised that the house was still standing and although Sarah had been a bit reluctant to leave the two alone, she never really doubted that chuck would be OK watching him. Sure they still had a long way to go, and everyday wouldn't be the same, they would face many other challenges, but if Chuck's actions and today was a foreshadow of the future, she was secure in the knowledge that he would be there for them, just as he promised and that she also had the support of her family.
~/0/~
Friday, May 8th 2015
Chuck momentarily shifted his attention from his eleven month old son and looked up to the front door. The two were currently both sitting on the floor, surrounded by building blocks and other toys. Sarah opened the front door and took in the sight before her, her heart swelling with joy. She was very proud of CJ who had recently started walking on his own and talking a lot more.
"Hey you two." Sarah greeted them. She walked over and kissed Chuck briefly before picking up CJ.
"Momma!" He babbled loudly and showed her the stuffed giraffe clutched in his hand.
Sarah went and sat with him in the couch, letting him sit in her lap. "Hey big boy, Momma missed you so much." Sarah said, kissing him on his cheek. He squealed loudly and smiled.
Sarah then blew a raspberry on his stomach which caused him to laugh. Chuck, who had busied himself with picking up the toys and putting them in a nearby toy box soon sat down with them, swinging his arms over Sarah's shoulders. Sarah put CJ to stand in her lap and the infant snuggled into her neck, leaving a trail of dribble which Sarah didn't mind.
"I have to admit that I'm beginning to feel a bit neglected." Chuck pouted.
Sarah laughed. "Daddy's so silly! Isn't he CJ?" Sarah told her son.
CJ blew spit bubbles, before saying "Dada!" He then hit him with the stuffed animal lightly.
"Hey!" Chuck frowned. "Does no one in this house love me?"
Sarah leaned over and gave him a kiss. "All better?"
"A little…" He replied. "Maybe if you do it again I can be sure." He finished cheekily.
Sarah acquiesced and leant in again, giving Chuck a slow, kiss.
"You do know that you can't kiss me like that and expect it to end there." Chuck licked his lips. "I think we should just put him down for his nap, which is long overdue by the way and take a journey to the bedroom."
"Easy there Tiger." Sarah smirked at him. "There'll be time for that later." Chuck's eyes lighted up at that.
"How did the examination go?" Chuck asked.
Sarah's demeanour instantly changed, which Chuck wasn't oblivious to. "Sarah?" He prodded, "Is something wrong?"
"Let's put him down and then we can talk ok?"
Chuck didn't say anything, but watched her as she went over to CJ's playpen and put him down. Out of the warmth of either of his parents' hands, CJ began to cry and reached out for his mother.
"Shhh, Momma's just going to be over there with Daddy." Sarah tried to soothe him. "Don't cry." Sarah then gave him his favourite stuffed animal, a teddy bear which was dressed in camouflage which had been a gift from Casey.
Sarah could feel Chuck's eyes on her. She continued to look at CJ, a small smile on her face as she collected her thoughts. After stalling for enough time, she turned around to face Chuck. Once she was seated on the couch, he began his inquisition.
"Sarah?" Chuck called her, concern seeping through his voice. "What happened? How was your follow up visit?"
Sarah took a deep breath before answering her husband. "Chuck, I got the results from my blood test back."
Sarah had been ill with the flu two weeks ago. "And?"
"Chuck, Chuck" Sarah said. She had always had a calming effect on him, so she placed her hand at the nape of his neck. "Don't freak out. There's something I need to tell you."
Chuck audibly gulped and licked his lips, his heart rate returning to its normal range. "What is it?"
"Chuck, I'm pregnant" Sarah said. Chuck's eyes widened and looked from her face and back down to her stomach.
Time moved oh so slowly as Sarah waited for Chuck to say something in response. His jaw had gone slack and he was gulping, diverting his gaze from her face and then to her abdomen. "Pregnant?" He asked.
"Yes Chuck, I'm pregnant. We'll be adding to the family very soon."
"And how do you feel about this?" Chuck questioned her. He ran his thumb over her left hand, idly playing with her wedding and engagement rings. Sarah was silent for a while before she answered him. When she had been given the news, she had been shocked, baffled to say the least. With CJ finally being able to walk, she and Chuck had been busy with him, sure the house had been baby-proofed, but he still found ways to outsmart them and get in the oddest of places. At one point even, he had tried to mimic the dog, Chewie by going through the dog flap in the back door. However, their biggest scare to date had happened a few weeks after he started to walk.
Flashback
Saturday, April 11th
Sarah left CJ in the living room, playing with his toys while she went to the bathroom. Upon returning, she found his toys scattered around the room and CJ nowhere in sight. Sarah called out to him, knowing that he liked to crawl and sometimes walk into the family room where some of his other toys were stored. When she searched there and found no sign of him, panic swirled through Sarah. She ran upstairs, even though he had never climbed them before. There was a first for everything after all. Sarah rushed down the stairs, yelling out his name. She flung the front door open, looking for any sign of him. Fear rose and she felt herself slowly losing it. The thought of someone having broken in and kidnapping her son caused her mind to go into overdrive. She had been involved in the spy game for a while; surely she would have noticed something! She was Sarah freaking Walker, spy extraordinaire, and one of the best agents the C.I.A had ever seen. But what confused her more was the fact that nothing was out of place. The only things missing were her son and his favourite bear. If he was kidnapped, they wouldn't have known it was his favourite and that he couldn't do without it. Or maybe it was the closest toy so they randomly grabbed it. She rationalised that no one could have been that quick, maybe he wasn't kidnapped. She hadn't even been in the bathroom for more than five minutes.
'Five minutes too many Walker' a voice in her head chided. Chuck is going to be livid! Sarah took deep breaths, trying to find her calm centre. With slightly trembling hands, she took her phone from out of her back pocket and speed dialled Chuck. He answered on the second ring.
"Chuck?"
"Hey baby, I promise I'm leaving the grocery store right now and I didn't stop by the comic store before I came."
Under different circumstances, she would have replied sarcastically or challenged his statement, knowing that he often couldn't resist doing so. "Chuck." She said again, her voice trembling with fear.
"Babe, Sarah, what's wrong?" He asked worriedly.
She sniffed, cursing herself for being so weak when she needed to be strong. "It's…It's CJ."
"Sarah, what is the matter with CJ?" Chuck questioned. The concern and anxiety in his voice was palatable. "Sarah." He almost barked when she didn't reply. He hurriedly deposited the groceries in the trunk and hopped into his car and revved the engine, not even bothering to return the trolley to its station.
"I can't find him Chuck...He's missing." Sarah finally managed to whisper.
Chucks heart stopped for a moment. CJ. His son, was missing. And suddenly, he could feel his world shattering apart.
"I'll be there in five minutes. Try to remain calm." He added. I need to do that myself.
Chuck hung up and dialled Casey, ordering him to meet him at the house.
Sarah heard the tires screeching to a halt as Chuck drove into the driveway. He hopped out and slammed the door, rushing up to the red front door. He found a somewhat despondent Sarah sitting on the couch, her face buried in her hands. He walked up to her and placed his hand over her shoulder. She jumped slightly and looked up to him; he could tell that she had been crying. Right now, she seemed to be waging a war between Sarah Walker, the agent and Sarah Bartowski, the mother who was experiencing extreme fair and panic.
"I called Casey," Chuck told her. "He'll be over soon."
Chuck went to his computer and brought up the video feed for outside the house. He found no strange activity outside the house or around the neighbourhood for that matter. There weren't any recordings of strange vans or unknown vehicles or anything else of that sort which would indicate a kidnapping. He was baffled. The video feed was extremely difficult to override and there wasn't any evidence that it had been tampered with. He communicated as much to Sarah.
"I've looked everywhere Chuck." Sarah confessed. "I don't know how he isn't here."
He knew he needed to be strong for her, so he steeled his emotions. "I'm sure we will find him Sarah. Maybe we should check the house one more time, just to be sure."
She shot up from the couch, knocking his arm from off of her. With narrowed ayes and flared nostrils, she spoke: "Don't you think I checked already?
Chuck raised his hands defensively, trying to placate her. "I never said that you didn't, I just thin-"
"What? You just think that I didn't do a good enough job? Is that it?" She snapped.
"I just think that we need to be absolutely sure. The video feeds don't show anything unusual, the neighbourhood was practically dead for the past hour. Therefore, there is the possibility that CJ is still in the house. You know that he likes to explore the house, it's possible that he's hiding somewhere."
Sarah sighed and followed Chuck upstairs. In a trance, she searched each room, looking underneath the beds, and in every other place they thought the baby could have gotten. With each entrance into a room, Sarah's heart pounded in her ears, as she felt hope rise in her that this room would be where he was, that they would find him curled up somewhere, and fast asleep, and safe. That's all she really wanted, to find her baby safe and well. But, in each room, they found no sign, and Sarah felt tumbling down into an abyss. She wanted to scream, she wanted to shout. She wanted to shoot someone. She was angry and she was scared. Scared that her baby boy would be hurt and it would be her fault.
Chuck placed an arm around her shoulder and they climbed down the stairs. After that, they went into the back yard. Sarah went back into the living room, rethinking her steps. She stepped on CJ's squeaky toy and it set her off. She picked up the toy and held it to her chest, closing her eyes and silently cursing herself. Tears welled in her eyes, and a sob escaped her lips, which Chuck heard.
"Sarah," Chuck began, stepping cautiously towards her. She stiffened when he wrapped his arms around her from behind, still battling with her emotions. "I think I know what you're thinking. But you are wrong. This isn't your fault. I don't blame you." She refused to look at him and Chuck had to forcibly turn her in his arms so that she was facing him. "I don't blame you." He said again, kissing the side of her temple.
Sarah wailed in his arms, whispering how sorry she was. Chuck did his best to soothe her, telling her that they would find CJ. "I just want to find him safe Chuck. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to him,"
"I know. I know."
"Where is he Chuck?" Sarah's plaintive voice was irresistible and he couldn't help but kiss her face. He hated seeing her so helpless and sad. But the words of comfort no longer came. His tongue lay limp and useless in his mouth. He wished he had answers for her, but he didn't and he was half an inch away from losing it too. But he had to steel himself. Both of them couldn't fall apart.
He closed his eyes, willing himself to stay in control, at least for Sarah. Opening them again, he took his face from the crook of Sarah's neck and she raised her head from his chest. He locked eyes with her and wasn't surprised to see the moisture swimming in her eyes. She ran her thumb over his cheekbone, as if trying to wipe the tears away when in fact Chuck figured that was what he should be doing for her as her face continued to grow damp. Casey arrived two minutes later, finding Chuck and Sarah still in their embrace. They separated, and Chuck encouraged Sarah to sit.
"What's wrong Bartowski?"
"It's CJ. He's missing." Chuck explained.
The burly man's eyes darkened and the vein in his neck pulsated. "What do you mean he's missing?" He growled. "Has someone taken him?"
"I swear, if anyone has taken him, I will hunt down the son of a bitch myself." Sarah said, her Agent Walker persona seeping in.
Casey grunted. He hadn't seen Walker like this in a long time. In fact, the last time he had seen her in such a state was when the Belgian had taken Chuck. He agreed with her sentiments though, if someone had kidnapped his godson, there would be hell to pay. He knew Sarah would be true to her word, and Chuck would certainly do what was necessary, even if I meant taking a life. Not to mention what he would do if he ever got his hands on any bastard who tried to hurt his family. He and Gertrude had recently came into possession of the latest rifle, a CMMG Mk 47 Mutant which was acclaimed as one of the most powerful and he was dying for some real target practice. John Casey's hands were made for brutality. His hands brought death. But when he was around CJ or the 'tyke' as he liked to call him, he felt a bit of softness and calm more so than he ever did. The little baby, like his father, really did have his way with worming his way into person's hearts; he had even managed to heart warm Gertrude. That's why he couldn't control the darkness that rose within him. He was seeing red. His anger boiled and he fought hard to curb it and swallow it down, refusing to let it flow through his veins. He had to be calm. He had only just arrived, but he could tell that Walker was panicked and he got that, and Bartowski wouldn't be too far behind her in the emotional upheaval. He had to be rational.
"We should contact the General." Casey announced, hoping that she would be able to provide some measure of assistance.
"Are there any leads?" Casey asked them as Chuck set up the communications to the TV.
"Nothing at all." Sarah told him forlornly.
She hated this, being at a standstill. If he was taken, she would have preferred for there to have been a note, a ransom, a video, something, anything, which they could have started on.
The link activated and General Beckmann looked up from a file she was reading. They were still her A-Team although they went on fewer missions now Chuck ran his own company. With much curiosity, she addressed them. "Team, how may I help you?"
"General, we have a situation on our hands. It appears as though CJ Bartowski has gone missing." Casey summarized.
Beckman's eyes went wide. "Are there any leads?" She asked tersely.
"No Ma'am."
She frowned. "Do any of you have any idea of who would be behind this?"
"That's just the thing," Chuck spoke up; "the video feed shows no one being here and no evidence of tampering. The last couple of criminals we have taken down weren't from major crime syndicates. I don't know who could've engineered such a feat. If they did override the video feed and the house's security system, they're good. Really good."
Beckman's frown deepened. "We need to cover all of our bases. Casey, I can dispatch a team within thirty minutes to help search the neighbourhood and surrounding areas."
Thirty minutes? 'That's thirty minutes too damn much! He's been missing long enough as it is! That's just wasting time. We need to find out who is responsible. For all I care we can go into whatever prison those criminals have been placed in and get the info we need. One of them has to know something."
"Harness your fury Agent Walker. You can't just storm into a prison and start threatening prisoners."
Sarah arched her eyebrow, defiantly at Beckman. "I understand that you are worried about the safety of the baby but-"
Sarah cut her off immediately. "You understand? You understand?" She repeated sarcastically and laughing bitterly afterwards. "You can't possibly understand. You can't even begin to imagine the anguish I'm feeling, not knowing if my baby is safe, if he's hurting, if he's crying or upset, which considering that it's soon time for his feeding, he's probably cranky…You cannot understand." Sarah ranted, her voice breaking as she kept the tears at bay.
Beckman's demeanour softened. She had grown quite fond of the baby as well and she truly did empathize with Sarah and Chuck. "Sarah, I understand that you are panicking, and I will do everything in my power to help you, but there is a protocol that has to be-"
"To hell with you and your fucking rules and protocol. I just want my baby back in my arms." Sarah shouted, interrupting the General for a second time. She was absolutely livid and hurled the table centre piece at the wall, causing the glass to shatter into tiny specks. Silence blanketed the room and everyone stared at her, concerned. Under the scrutiny, she felt like running, running away from their gaze, their judgement. She wanted to run until she felt numb. Chuck walked over to her, an understanding half smile on his face. He opened his arms to her in an invitation for a hug and she gladly accepted. Not caring that Casey and General Beckman were seeing her like this, she sobbed openly into her husband's chest.
Chuck didn't bother trying to shh her, knowing that she needed catharsis. He looked over to Casey, who was rather uncomfortable and inclined his head, saying to give them a moment. The General acquiesced. Terrified as Sarah already was, Beckman could imagine her tension boiling over into hysteria, wordlessness, and in some ways madness if her child wasn't found.
The wailing sounds of a baby pierced the silence and Sarah thought her mind was playing a sick joke on her taunting the fact that her sweet baby was missing. But the cries seemed to become more incessant and Chuck and Casey had heard it too. That meant she wasn't crazy. Her maternal instincts kicked in and she followed the noise. She sprinted to the kitchen, Chuck and Casey hot on her heels. She strained her ears for the sound again. Her gaze snapped to the bottom cupboard and she bent down and then pried the door open. There, she found a tearful CJ, reaching out for her. She took him into her arms, squeezing him so tight that he began to squirm in her arms. Relief washed over her as she loosened her grip on him, finally convinced that he wasn't going to disappear. She pulled him away from her chest and looked into his face, happy to see that despite the tears which still pooled in his eyes, they were still bright.
She tried to open her mouth and let him know how much she loved him, but no words came. Instead, she snuggled him closer, revelling in the warmth of his body and peppering kisses all over his face. Chuck joined them on the floor thereafter, wrapping his arms around them and kissing both CJ and Sarah on their faces. It was only then that he finally allowed his emotions to take over. He had been so focused on being strong for Sarah, having seen her on the precipice of a breakdown that he had bottled up his emotions. His tears soon began to stream down his face.
Casey looked at the reunion and smiled, before slipping back into the living room. He consequently informed Beckman that CJ had been found and after she conferred her happiness at the news which Casey would later pass on to the parents, she promised that she'd check in with them personally soon. Not wanting to intrude on what he deemed a crying fest, though if he were to admit to himself, he'd probably be crying like the Bartowskis too, he went outside to park both his and Chuck's vehicles properly, after they had been haphazardly parked due to the severity of the situation.
"My baby." Sarah whispered, playing with CJ's curls. "Momma was so worried about you." CJ responded by patting his mother's face gently, which Chuck thought was his way of comforting her. He then did the same thing to Chuck. Seeing tears in his eyes. Sarah looked over to Chuck and smiled. "We're so happy you are ok. I don't know what I'd have done if you weren't."
She smiled then, and laced her hand with Chuck's. CJ crawled out of her lap and sat on the tiled floor, mocking his parents. Chuck's hand left Sarah's as he put the heels of both of his palms on his cheeks and wiped the last set of tears sideways off his face. It returned again, salty dampness coating the fingers but Sarah didn't care. She was happy.
"What were you doing in there anyway little guy?" Chuck questioned.
"Ba ba" he babbled, pointing to his hiding place.
Chuck moved his stuffed animal and saw a small green and white ball at the back of the cupboard. He pulled it out and showed it to him.
"You wanted the ball?" Chuck questioned.
CJ reached across to his father for the ball, babbling "ba ba" again.
"Ball." Chuck repeated, still holding said ball out of reach of the ten month old. "This is a ball." CJ fussed over not receiving the ball and turned to his mother, babbling, and Chuck presumed complaining. He didn't understand much, but he did hear the phrase "dada and baba" included, so that coupled with the way he was pointing at Chuck accusingly, confirmed his suspicion that CJ was in fact complaining about him.
Sarah laughed. "Seems you've got him annoyed Chuck."
"I would give him the ball, if I knew where it came from. I don't know how long it's been there and he has a tendency to put every toy in his mouth, so this ball would suffer the same fate, and I don't want him putting something dirty in his mouth."
"I see your point." Sarah agreed. "I think it might be Cara's though. I remember Ellie bought it for her a while back when we went shopping."
"Lord only knows how it ended up in that empty cupboard."
They smiled at each other again, before smiling back down at their son. He had forgotten about the ball and was now chewing on his fingers, something he often did when he was hungry. CJ eventually grew tired of his fingers and began pawing at Sarah's chest and rubbing his face in her shirt. Chuck surmised that he was hungry and hopped off the floor, and then offered Sarah a hand up. Sarah then took him up to his nursery so he could nurse.
"The little tyke OK?" Casey inquired of Chuck when he came into the kitchen, his hands full of the grocery bags.
"Yea, he's fine. Sarah's feeding him now." Chuck informed him. He moved to assist Casey with the bags and placed them on the counter. Truth be told, he'd forgotten all about the groceries. "Thanks for bringing in the bags."
"No problem." Casey grunted. Working together, they were able to put the groceries away in little time. Casey noticed various tools on the kitchen floor and raised his brow sceptically. "What're you up to now Bartowski?'
"CJ was able to get into the cupboard because the clasp was broken. I'm replacing it."
"You sure you can handle that?"
"Um yea." Chuck told him, looking at the instructions in his hand.
Casey grunted. "Move over."
End flashback
After that scare, Chuck and Sarah had maintained an even closer eye on CJ when he roamed the house. In mentioning it to Emma, Sarah was surprised to hear that she did the same thing when she was younger and that it almost gave her mother a panic attack when she couldn't find her.
"Are you excited about having another baby?" Chuck asked Sarah as he toyed with her wedding ring. "I would understand if you aren't. I mean CJ's not even one yet and we're still adjusting to parenthood in some ways and-"
Sarah cut him off. "Yes Chuck, I'm excited and very happy. " This pregnancy is unexpected, but it was not unwelcome.
/\
Saturday, May 14th 2016
"Babe?" Chuck knocked on the bedroom door, "CJ and Landon are dressed and ready to go. You soon finished?"
"Give me five minutes!" She called out from the bathroom. Chuck groaned….He had learnt long ago from Ellie that when a woman said give her five minutes to get ready, you might as well put your feet up and catch up on your last episode of your favourite TV show…it was almost never just five minutes.
"I heard that Chuck!" Sarah shouted…
"I'll be in the living room with the boys."
Chuck was watching CJ playing with his fire truck and Landon was pawing with the toys over his bouncy chair.
"Four minutes, fifty-nine seconds." Sarah announced when she strolled into the living room.
Chuck turned to her, smirking, a retort on his lips. He forgot it when he saw Sarah. She was breathtakingly beautiful in her flower pattern summer dress and her gold sandals. Her hair was parted on the side and the rest fell to her back in loose curly waves.
"Wow!" Chuck was finally able to say. "You, you look absolutely stunning."
"Momma pretty!" Little CJ piped up from his position on the floor.
"Thank you sweetie." Sarah responded to her older son. She picked him up and ruffled his curls, gave him a kiss. "Can Momma have a kiss please?"
The toddler cocked his head to a side, something he had picked up from her and placed his forefinger on his chin. "K Momma." He said after a while and gave her a wet, slobbery kiss on her cheek. "Lub you."
"Love you too baby!" Sarah said and put him down. He ran back to his play area and played with his toys. Sarah sat down beside Chuck and gave him a chaste kiss.
"You clean up pretty well yourself." Sarah told Chuck.
"What?" Chuck scoffed. "This old thing? I just threw it together." Sarah laughed loudly and Chuck joined in.
Sarah curled up next to Chuck, her feet beneath her. Chuck wrapped his arms around her and rubbed his hand down her arm. She sighed contentedly. This was all she ever wanted. Chuck kissed the top of her hair.
"Your Mom called. Said she's gonna be a bit late due to the traffic. There's an accident on the freeway."
Emma and Molly would be joining the entire Bartowski family for brunch at The Hotel Hershey (it had become a favourite for Sarah and Ellie) and would then be spending the weekend with Chuck and Sarah.
"I hope she doesn't take too long." Sarah mused.
They diverted their attention to the bouncy chair when the baby started crying. CJ looked up from his toys and rushed to reach him, tripping over his toys in the process. "CJ, be careful." Chuck cautioned.
"Ow! Daddy, foot hurting." He wailed. He held his left foot and pouted. Chuck lifted him up, kissed him on his cheek and blew a raspberry in his stomach before setting him back down again.
Sarah had already gotten up and undid the buckles of the seat. She cradled the baby in her arms and rocked him gently. "What's wrong with my baby boy? Hmm?" Sarah cooed, as she walked up and down the room with him. When she reclaimed her seat, CJ climbed up to the couch too, with the help of his father. He peered down at his brother, who though his cries had softened was still whimpering softly.
"Do you wanna play with my fire truck?" CJ asked Landon. He then pressed the button on the top which caused the siren to go off. Alarmed, Landon began wailing again. CJ, who was a bit confused, looked at his mother who was again trying to hush the baby. His confused gaze then went to his truck then to his father. "Daddy? Why doesn't the baby like my toy?"
"The noise just startled him little buddy, you see, babies don't like loud noises that much." Chuck explained.
He frowned momentarily. "Oh." was all he managed to say. "Me sowry." He said, looking as though he was also getting ready to cry.
"It's OK, just remember next time."
"He's probably hungry." Chuck concluded when a few minutes later, Landon was still exercising his lungs.
Sarah looked up at him. "I was thinking so. He's been pawing at my chest for a minute now."
"Do you want me to go make a bottle?" Chuck offered.
"No, it's OK. I think I'm lactating enough." Sure enough, the pressure in her breast was waiting to be released and she felt like an un-milked cow with the accompanying heaviness. "Besides, I don't think he has enough patience to wait until the bottle is finished." Sarah sat down next to her boys and handed the baby over to Chuck so she could get a bit more comfortable. "I need the feeding pillow."
"Hey CJ, why don't the two of us go find Momma the feeding pillow so Landon here can eat. Ok?"
He nodded excitedly and ran up the stairs.
"We will be right back."
Minutes later, Sarah heard heavy footsteps coming down the staircase and shook her head. She could guess what it was. True to the guess, Chuck came down stairs with CJ on his back and holding the feeding pillow tightly in both hands. Chuck neighed loudly before letting CJ climb off his back. He handed the feeding pillow to Sarah, only to realize that she had already begun nursing the baby.
"He couldn't wait." Sarah shrugged. "I think he's got your appetite; he's always hungry." Sarah commented. Landon, though he had been born a bit early on New Year's Day, was now four months and was almost the size that CJ had been when he was six months.
"Hmm, well that just means he will be big and strong like the both of us, right CJ?"
He nodded and mirrored Chuck's actions of flexing his muscles.
"Daddy! Horsie! Again." He commanded.
"That's not how you ask for something. What's the polite way?" Sarah asked him.
"Pwease."
"Close enough." Chuck mused. Even at such a young age, they wanted to instil good habits and manners in their children.
Chuck acquiesced to his son's request and carried him around the couch, CJ's laughter lighting up the room.
"You know, if you two keep at it, you'll be sweaty before we leave the house."
"Guess your Momma is right!" Chuck said thoughtfully. He took CJ in his arms and did an aeroplane before resting him down on the couch. "How bout you and I cool down before Grandma Emma and Auntie Molly come over."
"K daddy."
Looking at her three boys, Sarah couldn't help but to smile. Their laughter was infectious and she found that CJ was going to be a replica of his father. The two of them were making funny faces at Landon who was in his bouncy chair and he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying all the attention he was getting and expressed as much by flailing his little legs and arms and cooing at the pair. Sarah smiled contentedly. She wouldn't trade this- this moment, her boys or her family for anything. Chuck looked over at her, smiling brightly and she smiled back. Their foray into parenthood had definitely been difficult, but she was thankful she had made it thus far. Reading all the baby and parenting books could not have made her the perfect mother, nor could they make her immune to the woes of parenthood. There was no right way, she could only do her best and hope that everything turned out okay. Her children were still very young, and she was sure that as they got older, the challenges they faced would be well, more challenging. She and Chuck had already discussed the possibility of a daughter. It was something they both wanted, but that would be a couple of years later.
Chuck got up from the floor and scooted closer to her on the couch. "Your Mom and Molly should be here any time now."
"Mhmm, I think so too." She said, her gaze still on her two children. CJ was now playing Peek-A-Boo with Landon and he was gurgling uncontrollably.
"We did pretty good, didn't we?" Chuck murmured.
Sarah turned to him and kissed him slowly, when she pulled back, a smile on both their faces. "I think we did."
Maybe parenthood wasn't what she thought it to be at first, but now, she realized that their journey as parents depended on them. Chuck had kept his promises, and their love grew stronger with each passing day.
A/N: And that's a wrap. Thanks for giving this story a chance. It took me longer than originally anticipated, and some things aren't exactly how I had wanted, but sometimes a story takes on a world of its own. For example, the scene with CJ in the cupboard wasn't originally planned and then basically wrote itself, but when I googled it, it turns out that it's a common thing during childhood. Feel free to check out my other stories and please review, even if it's as a guest.
Xoxoxo
~Barbadiangirl. 21/12/2014