During the night while they were talking, Daryl had fallen asleep and Connor was watching him. He was tired himself but was too afraid to close his eyes. He was afraid that he was still trapped and beaten and this was just his way to cope with it. A perfect hallucination. Because in real life he would never admit that he liked Daryl and Daryl sure as hell would never say that he loved him too. He was just imagining this but this image was so wonderful that he didn't want to close his eyes again. Never. Afraid that the nightmare continues. So he kept on looking at Daryl's sleeping figure. Daryl was covered in dirt but Connor didn't care. None of them was clean. He watched his chest rise and fall, watched him breathe. He looked so much more like Murphy when he slept. He had tucked one arm under his head, the one with the demon tattoo on the inside. Connor tried not to touch him. He didn't want to wake him up. The hunter needed sleep after carrying him the whole day. The sun was already rising and was painting Daryl's face in an orange and red color. For some reason Connor thought, that his face was made for the night. Daryl looked awesome in the moonlight. Not that he didn't look good in sunlight too but there was just something about the darkness that fit so well to his friend.
After a while Connor couldn't help himself and snuggled closer to Daryl, his head on his friends chest. He immediately felt two arms around his body. Daryl was absently stroking his back and Connor ignored that it hurt when the hunter touched the wounds. If this was a dream, he wanted to last it as long as possible. If this wasn't a dream, well he wanted it to last forever. He started playing with Daryl's chest hair and slid his finger over his scars. Daryl was getting goosebumps and Connor put a kiss on his friends stomach, right above his navel. "Mornin' Leprechaun", a raspy voice said, which made Connor look up. Daryl was opening his eyes, rubbing them with his hands and then smiled at Connor. "Sorry I fell asleep."
"Don't be. Yeh needed it."
"Yah."
"G'mornin'", Connor whispered and kissed Daryl. The younger one pulled Connor on top of him. "How are you?", he asked concerned.
"I was just thinking if this is a dream or if this is reality and if I am really here or still in that basement", the Irishman answered honestly.
"You are really here." Daryl was suddenly well aware what he had done last night and in the morning this whole thing looked even more weird. When he fell asleep he had dreamt of the man on top of him. They were happy, kissing and everything seemed so easy in his dreams. And he had thought about Merle and how he was able to say goodbye to his old life. He didn't want his old Life back. Beth had kicked down some of the walls. She made him realize that it was okay to have dreams, even in the most horrible time. Daryl had remembered some of his dreams. The running, the escape and living in a normal family. Having a caring brother and someone to talk to. When he was younger he had always wished for warmness, smiles and accepting. All he got were coldness, punches and even more punches when he wanted to do things he liked. Like watching movies or going to the library. His past has made him hard, and grumpy and sad. And most of all he thought he couldn't love and was not good enough to be loved by anybody. Now that he felt the smallest feelings inside his chest and the smallest love coming from two men he didn't want to let go of it. He NEEDED it. Daryl examined Connors face. Those wonderful blue eyes which were looking at him. The wrinkles around them, those lips that were still a bit swollen from the gag, the stubble on his chin and the brown hair that was a bit too long. Daryl let his thumb slide over the virgin Mary tattoo on his friends neck and Connor closed his eyes. Daryl was well aware that he was exploring the man's skin and body. But he didn't want to stop touching his face, his chest and he even slid his thumbs over the very attractive "V", leading to the private parts. His hands were now sliding up his friends sides and he moved his torso up and kissed Connor.
The Irishman responded promptly and enjoyed that Daryl was touching him, nearly exploring him. Some of his touches were arousing but Connor was too tired and too concentrated to get hard. And he was glad that Daryl wasn't hard either. Connor opened his mouth and Daryl's tongue shyly entered. Connor thought it was nearly sweet how caring Daryl was. He actually had thought Daryl would be the rough one, the one who was kissing and fucking like an animal. Maybe he was wrong or maybe Daryl just held himself back.
After a while Daryl broke the kiss, when he heard Connors stomach growling.
"We should get up and get something to eat."
Connor shook his head. "I don't want to. Let us just stay here. Let them go alone. We three can live a happy life here." Connor wasn't willing to move any inch out of this bed. Even so he knew he had to.
"Happy Life...I will be happy if we get rid of all those stinking geeks."
"Aye. But we can at least steal some more moments righ'?"
Daryl nodded and moved his head up to meet Connors lips and they started kissing again. Daryl's tongue begging for an entrance and Connor opened his mouth willingly. Daryl was spreading his legs, so that Connor was lying in between his legs. Their hips touching, while Connor was holding his weight on his right arm, his left arm playing with Daryl's chest hair, sliding over his nipple, which made Daryl breathe heavy. Connor liked to tease Daryl and he liked that he had such an effect on the hunter. It was nearly as if he was able to do anything with him. He really wanted to go further than this. And to be honest he would really like to go further right now. He knew they couldn't sleep together but they could touch each other still. But this was too new. Daryl was now running his hands through Connors hair and held him close, not wanting to break the kiss. Not ever again. He was nearly agreeing to Connors wish to stay where they were.

Murphy went to Carol and Tara who were working in the kitchen and putting some food in bowls and serve them to everyone. "Hey Carol, can you give me two bowls for Connor and Daryl. And something to drink?"
The women smiled at him. "Of Course." She searched the kitchen for something and found a tray. She put two bowls on it and looked around until no one was watching and put two cans of soda on it too and two chocolate bars. She winked at Murphy who was smirking and nodding. Murphy liked Carol. She had something motherly about her and she was nice to look at. He had noticed the way she watched Daryl and he would bet his right hand on it if she wasn't in love with the hunter. Murphy headed out to surprise his two sleeping brothers. He went upstairs and froze in the doorframe. He wasn't expecting this. Connor was sitting on Daryl's lap and they were kissing. Not brotherly. Not even harmless. They were making out. Why did this hurt him so much? Murphy coughed slightly but both of them were so caught in their kissing and touching each other that they didn't hear it. So Murphy coughed louder. Connor looked up, a slight second guilt was written all over his face and then he smirked. "Mornin' Murph'."
Daryl looked a lot more guilty and embarrassed than Connor and just stared at Murphy.
"G'Mornin' yeh two", Murphy tried to calm his voice. "Wha' do yeh have there?"
"Breakfast for yeh two." He walked over and placed it on the nightstand. "Aw, look Dar', our brother brought us breakfast at bed." "Shut it", Daryl said harsh. This was seriously not okay. Murphy shouldn't have seen this.
"Oi. Suddenly he is all badass again."
"Conn' would yeh shut the fuck up. Wha' are yeh doin'? Yesterday yeh kissed him and I thought yeh were out of it. Then I said to Daryl tha' i would be okay with whatever was going on between yeh but I thought yeh would wait until yeh healed. Now yeh makin' out with each other and yeh already half naked. And yeh all smiling and joking but I know how yeh feel. Don't yeh dare forget our connection. I was gettin' sick of all the emotions yeh were sending me or blocking out. I am..I am angry with yeh Conn'. So shut the fuck up." Murphy punched the door hard which made Connor wince and Daryl snorted. He moved Connor, so he was sitting next to him, stood up, grabbed Murphys arm and glared at him. "Ya' goin' insane now? Ya' told me that you were okay with it. Not that we need your consent but now ya' goin' too far. We were only kissing. Not fuckin' ya' fuckhead."
Murphy shoved Daryl away and yelled: "Wha' d'yeh kno'? He's me brother an' he got nearly beaten to death. Look at him. Yeh couldn't have waited? Yeh all over him now? Yeh two are acting like sick love monkeys."
Daryl watched Murphy and then just pulled him into an embrace. A sudden thought what was causing this breakdown. Either he was jealous or still sick from worrying about his twin. Murphy tried to struggle Daryl but the hunter was a lot stronger than him and so he gave in. Connor was standing up and pressing his chest to his twins back. Kissing his hair and neck and wrapping his arm around him. Connor looked at Daryl and formed a loudless "Thank you", with his lips and Daryl smiled. The Hunter kissed Murphy's forehead. "Ya' calm now?"
"Aye."
"Fine. Now listen yeh fuckhead. Your brother needed this. He had been through a lot and needed distraction. I didn't do anything he didn't want. I would never force him to anything. Man, we have no idea what is going on between us. You have no need to be jealous or whatever you are angry about."
Connor nodded and bit Murphy's neck. "Murph' I'll explain it to yeh when we are alone. Everythin' I think yeh had some weird things in yer head while I was...", Connors voice broke. "...tortured. I will explain it. Gimme some time, okay? And next night I will stay with yeh. Promise." Connors eyes met Daryl's who smirked and nodded. He knew he had to share Connor with Murphy. He knew he was taking something away from the younger twin but he was willing to give something back in return. He would spent time with Murphy. Teach him stuff. Make him a bit harder. He would never abandon one of them.
Murphy looked up to Daryl and everything he saw was love. "Ya' my brother now too, remember?" Murphy smiled and nodded. "Aye. Lil' bro. But if yer hurtin' me twin I will kill yeh."
"Noted. I'm not trying to hurt him." Then Daryl got close to Murphy's ears and covered Connors ears with his hands, then whispered: "I think I am in love with him."
The Irishman smirked. This was too weird. When they had seen Daryl for the first time they had thought he would be a badass with no heart. Seems that man had a real big heart and he was loving his brother. Murphy never wished for Connor to be into guys but he was okay with it. With Daryl. Of course be was. He turned around, facing his brother. "I'm just worried abou' yeh."
"I kno' baby brother. Don't be."
They hugged each other once again and then Murphy let go of Connor, smiling and waving, running out of the house. He needed time to let this sink in. Murphy went into the other house, grabbed his own bowl with something that looked as if someone had eaten it already and walked over to some trees that were standing on the side of the houses. He leaned against one of it and started eating. Daryl and Connor. Connor and Daryl. Two guys. His brothers. Hell that was all a rollercaoster ride. Yesterday they were brothers now they were what exactly? Lovers, which would make Murphy Daryl's brother in law? Or what? Murphy snorted. Life was easier when they were killing mobsters but somehow he felt happier, because there was something changing Connor. Something he was waiting for to see and he didn't care that the reason was Daryl. Maybe Daryl could finally fill that hole in Connor's chest. The one he was denying. The one he was hiding for so many years. Murphy knew it the whole time, even so Connor tried to hide it underneath jokes, smiling and caring for him. Murphy always knew because at night their connection was the strongest but Connor never found out. Maybe he had to talk to his brother about his nightmares.

They were driving towards Washington again and Daryl had agreed that it would be better if Connor was next to Murphy. Daryl was sitting next to Abraham in the front of the truck. "We should search another car", Abraham said.
"Yeah. Thought about that. It's really too tiny in the back. And we need something to store some food."
"Yeah. Should probably check for cars on the road."
"Plan." None of them were much into talking. Which Daryl really appreciated right now. He was done talking and touching. He had enjoyed last night but it all was too new and really hard to handle all at once. He never was into changes and now everything was changing at once and for the first time in his life he would leave Georgia. Which made him a bit sad. Why had the world to be like this before he could go and leave his family? Had he known earlier what life could bring him, he would have searched for Connor and Murphy years ago. Maybe he should have visited them in prison. Daryl's thoughts were spinning. Had he really fallen in love with Connor? How could this happen when he never was into guys or was je just not into guys because his dad and Merle were always making jokes about homosexuality? Were his one-night-stands that horrible because he was not into girls? Daryl was getting a headache from all the thinking but on the other hand he felt that warm and nice feeling in his chest and when he thought about kissing Connor he felt his stomach flip and getting nervous and he knew he was smiling more. Everything felt so right when they were with each other and it made him calm to know that Connor was right behind him sitting in the car. Cuddling with Murphy who fell asleep some minutes ago. "You know usually we could drive to Washington in one day. It's only about seven hours from here. But Rick wants to make another break before we get too close to the city. What do you think?", Abraham asked.
"I think he is right. The Cities are usually overrun and there will be a lot more walkers. It would be good if everyone is fit before fighting. We have to go through the city to reach the military camp you were talking about."
Abraham nodded. "I just don't want to waste any more time."
"Yeah and we don't want to lose people."
Abraham agreed and drove on until they reached Fort Washington. They already saw much more walkers on the side of the road and a lot of deserted cars. They wanted to rest near Piscataway Creek and Daryl thought this might be a good idea. Walkers can't come through water so they only had to cover three sides. They had to stop a several times and kill some walkers. Abraham was a killing machine and they had such a routine in killing that no one had to say anything. Daryl was glad that Connor and Murphy stayed in the car and Rick too was waiting in the car. They reached their destination at nightfall and found a place to sleep. This time they weren't sleeping in houses but in the truck or on the ground. Daryl had the first watch together with Carol and they were sitting next to each other on a blanket while everyone else was trying to sleep. Connor and Murphy were in the car and Daryl looked at it for a while, hoping his friend could find some rest in his brothers arms. He had to be honest to himself. He missed Connor already.
"What are you thinking about?", Carol asked.
"Nothing." Daryl looked at her. "Daryl you are a bad liar. You are worried about Connor?"
Daryl nodded. "Yeah. He looks like crap."
"You know I talked to him earlier. He seemed okay."
"Yeah. He is good in making everyone believe this. But believe me he is not."
Daryl looked back to the truck and then shrugged. There was nothing he could do now. "So he is like you then?"
"What does that even mean?" The Hunter gave Carol a weird look.
"You always pretend you are okay when you are not."
"Don't we all?"
Carol smiled. "Sometimes."
He nudged her and for she was one of his closest friends he asked: "What do you think of them?"
"I didn't really had much time with them but I think they are good people. And they make you smile. That's everything I need to know."
"You noticed that?", Daryl sighed and smirked.
Carol clapped his shoulder. "I did. You seem happy and this morning..well.."
"Hm?"
"You looked like you are glowing. Why did you never tell me you were into guys?"
"Because I am not." Carol looked at him confused, raising her eyebrows and smirking.
"Or at least I wasn't.", Daryl tried again.
"Well. Connor is hot. Murphy is hot too."
Daryl laughed. "He looks like me. No wonder Murphy is hot."
"True."
"Stop it. Girl ya' know I like ya' but I never...you know."
Carol nodded. "I know. I am glad for you."
"Maybe you and Murphy?"
"Nah. That would be awkward."
Daryl laughed and shook his head. "More awkward than me falling in love with a freaking religious Leprechaun?"
"Love, heh?"
"Shut up." They sat in Silence for a while, when Daryl noticed a movement on the side of the car. He stood up, pointing his crossbow at the direction and put it down the second he saw what caused the cover to move. "What in hell do you think you are doing? Go back in there or I will shoot."
"Aye. Yeh do tha' and I think me brother will kill yeh, smartass"
Connor smiled and tried to walk as normal as possible in the direction of his friend. He had tried to sleep but he couldn't and he missed Daryl. He knew the hunter was keeping watch, so he made sure Murphy was asleep and climbed out the car. His wounds were hurting and itching and he didn't want to wake Murphy to take care, so he had to ask Daryl for it. Especially the streams on his back.
"So, what do you want?", Daryl wanted Connor to be save, not to run around out here.
Connor was now standing in front of them. "Hello Carol."
"How are you?", she asked.
"Not that good. That's why I am here." He looked at Daryl.
"I wouldn't ask but you know I can't ask him. Can you..uhm..maybe put some more salve on my back. It starts hurting again."
Daryl nodded. He had forgotten about that. "Sure. Wanna do it here?"
"Is this okay for you Carol? You should watch away. I look probably like a wandering punchball."
"Don't worry. I stitched Daryl together and saw his scars and my own aren't nice either."
"Why do you have scars?", Connor asked. Forgetting that Carol had told him already.
"My husband."
Connors face went from angry to knowing and to completely hurt in a matter of second.
"Sorry."
"He is long gone."
"Aye." Daryl had grabbed the salve out of his backpack and waved with it to his friend who was already taking off his pea coat and trying to strip off his shirt but it hurt so much that Daryl had to help him. Connor got down on his knees and Daryl sat behind him looking at the wounds in the moonlight. They were closed but seemed to be a bit too red. He looked at Carol who was looking at Connors back too. "They look like they are healing. Are they itching?", she wanted to know.
"Yeah. Like hell."
Daryl started spreading the salve on Connors back, trying not to hurt him. Now and then Connor was flinching. Daryl let his finger linger a bit longer than needed at his friends neck and massaged him a bit. Then when he remembered where they were he said: "Done. Chest too?"
"No. Can do that alone. Gimme the stuff and I will go to those trees and care for my other wounds." He turned around and looked at Daryl. The Hunter nodded and looked at Carol. She was staring down at Connors back and she looked like she was remembering things. Daryl touched her arm and she finally looked at him. Her eyes were wet and Daryl knew exactly what she had been thinking about. When Connor was standing up, he was putting salve on his chest and Daryl helped him put his shirt back on. After that Connor looked at him and smiled a bit. Daryl wanted to kiss him but he tried not to do this in front of Carol, so he just rested his hand under Connors chin and pressed his thumb against the other mans cheek. Connors hand raised and grabbed Daryl's kissing its palm. Then turned around and walked to the trees. Daryl looked after him and was worried that something might happen while his friend was busy caring for his wounds. "You should go after him", Carol said.
"No. He can take care of himself. He has his guns."
"He needs you Daryl. Didn't you see how he looked. His back, his chest. Does his whole body look like this?"
Daryl nodded. "Every inch of his body looks like this."
"Go help him. I will keep watch."
"You sure?"
"I am. We both know how it is to take care of wounds on your own and how we wished for someone to help. Go or I will." Daryl hugged her briefly and ran after Connor. He found Connor his pants down behind the tree and when he came closer he saw him crying while smearing salve around his private parts. He looked up when Daryl got closer and looked away as soon as he realized what Daryl was looking at. "Go. I can do it alone."
But Daryl already grabbed the tube from his friends hand and brushed over his fingers. Then knelt before him and covered his bruises and wounds. When he was done he looked up. His friend was still crying and it broke Daryl's heart but he had to focus on his wounds first. "Turn around", he whispered and Connor did, his arm against the tree and his face hiding. When Daryl was done with this side too, he put Connors pants up and closed the jeans. His arms wrapped around his friends waist. "Talk to me", he breathed. Connor shook his head.
"You ashamed now?"
Connor shook his head again and Daryl could hear him breathe awkwardly. He placed himself next to Connor, grabbed his friend arm and turned him around, so that they were facing each other. "Tell me. I don't know what to do." Daryl felt so helpless and all he wanted to do was hold Connor and help him. Connor closed his eyes and started crying even more. Reality had hit him very hard. He could distract himself as much as he wanted, Those wounds would become scars. Just like his soul wasn't clean anymore. Someone had taken something from him. Daryl grabbed Connor and kissed his tears away. "Leave me alone", Connor hissed. Daryl let go of him immediately. Not sure what was happening.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Connor shook his head. "I want to be alone." He started walking back to the camp and Daryl watched him go. Not certain what he should do. When he ran after him he grabbed his friends hand, turned him around and crashed his mouth against his. "I love you Leprechaun and please don't shut me out." Daryl knew this was harsh but he was getting anxious. Connor was pushing him away. He didn't want to loose him. Connor struggled against Daryl, looked at him with nothing but hate in his eyes and said: "Leave me alone or I will kill you. I don't love you. I never will." Then Connor turned around, climbing inside the truck. He placed himself next to Murphy and started crying again. He couldn't be with Daryl. Daryl earned someone that was better than him. Someone without battlescars. With an intact soul. Someone complete and not someone like him. Connor pressed himself against Murphy and cried. He went from heaven to hell and back again and now he doomed himself to be hated by the one person that he loved. Yes he was in love with Daryl but he doesn't want him to go to hell with him. He had sat him free. Did he? Connor was confused. He was not sure what to do. He didn't want to live without the hunter. He remembered last night and sighed. The hell did he just do? Connor was angry with himself so he climbed out of the truck again and looked for Daryl who was sitting next to Carol. His face was stonecold. Connor moved closer, still crying and he got down on his knees in front of Daryl. The hunter looked at him. His eyes sad and confused. Connor moved forward and kissed him. "I'm sorry..I don't know..I..."Connor started but Daryl put his hand on Connors mouth. "You don't need to explain it. It's okay. I get why you can't be with me. But don't make this any harder." Connor shook his head. "No. But you don't understand. I want to be with you but I don't know how..Not after..not..I can't give you anything. I can't...I am too broken."
Now Daryl shook his head. "Leprechaun", he whispered. "I am broken too. Probably more than you think. What you have been through the last 48 hours? I have been through that for almost 30 years. Look at Carol, she has been through this over 20 years. We are all a little bit broken Conn'. And I still have these feelings for you. But you need to let me help you. I am not perfect. I will hurt you. I always hurt people. Don't push me away. You can't just come into my life, make me fall for you and then step back when something happens. I know you are in pain. I know how you feel. Talk to me." Daryl knew he sounded like a girl. He was begging and holding on to the one thing that made him happy. That had ever made him feel something like happiness.
Daryl kissed Connor again and hugged him close. Connor cried on Daryl's shoulder and he didn't care that Carol was there. He just didn't care for anything but the man in his arms. "I'm sorry that I said I hate you. I love you. I fuckin' love you Daryl. I need time. I need to heal. I need to..."
"Shut up. I know that. You will have all the time in the world. But Conn' you need to sleep. You are totally exhausted. You are not thinking straight anymore. And you know what? We are finding that cure and then we will go to Ireland, hm? And you can show me your country. We will live somewhere away from all trouble. You and me and Murph'."
"Aye. Promise me."
"Promise. I will go wherever you go. I will follow you. And now Leprechaun, go and lay down. Heal! Rest and I will wake you in the morning." Connor nodded and kissed Daryl one more time. When he got up he looked at Carol and whispered: "Sorry."
She just waved her hand and Connor went back to sleep.
"You know you can't save him from himself and his own punishment for what happened", Carol said.
"No. But I can try to make his world better than ours ever was." They looked at each other and Carol said: "He will heal faster because he has you. I always told you that you are a good man, Daryl Dixon."