Hi there,

I still can't believe that I am already posting chapter 18! Jesus, how did that even happen? When I first planned the story it only had 15 chapters. I am currently writing chapter 23. The others still need editing. And I started a new Job and have not the same amoutn of time then the last weeks. But I will try to post new chapters as soon as I can. (hopefully every second/third day)

And I am thankful for all the messages I got! Thanks a lot to everyone.

*sigh* I know some of you want some more Connaryl alone-time. You will have that and you will have a little...yeah..more ;) And I bet there are some having questions in your head like: "Why do they do that?" "Why is that happening?" "Where are the Walkers?"... I will get there. And believe me, there will come a point you all either stop reading or send me hate messages. But yeah, that is the way I love it. Torture, blood and drama. Ah and by the way..I hate happy endings.

Murphy woke up when Connor started pressing his hand so hard into his stomach that Murphy thought his brother was trying to kill him. But Connor had fallen asleep and was dreaming and when Murphy turned around his brother was sweaty, his face distorted in pain. Murphy shook Connor to wake him up and it needed a while until his brother opened his eyes. They were bloody red and he had big bags under his eyes. He looked nearly like one of those Walkers. Murphy stroked Connors face. "Bad dream?"
Connor nodded and snuggled closer to Murphy. "Sorry I woke yeh", he apologized.
"Was awake and yeh were pressing me so hard to yer chest that I thought yeh killin' me. Did yeh dream about the other night?" Murphy ran his finger through Connor's hair.
"Yeah."
"Wanna talk abou' it?"
Connor shook his head. "Can't exactly tell yeh. I thought I was dying there. Thought I might never see yeh and Dar' again. It fuckin' hurt."
"Aye. But yer here with me and Dar'. Yeh made it. I wish I could heal yer wounds."
Connor kissed his brothers neck. "I know."
"But there is somethin' yer not tellin' me an' I can't help yeh if yeh don't. I am goin' crazy with the whole mixed feelings."
Connor nodded and loosened his embrace with his twin. He looked at him and said: "Lets go for a walk."
He didn't want to talk about it but he knew he had to. But he should leave some parts out. Connor climbed out of the truck first and tried to stretch but it hurt too much and he sighed. He looked over to Daryl who was talking to Carol. The others were still asleep even so it was already early in the morning. The air was a bit foggy and everything was still grey and there was dew on the grass. Connor breathed in and out and closed his eyes for a while. In his head he could pretend he was standing in Ireland. When he opened his eyes again Murphy was standing next to him, stretching and sucking in air and closing his eyes, just like Connor before. The older one started walking towards Daryl, to greet him. Still a bit ashamed of what happened some hours ago. When he approached Carol smiled and said: "Good Morning you two. You are up early."
"Yeah. Conn' was halfway killin' me. Bet I have bruises on me stomach from his grip". Murphy replied and added: "But good morning to you too." And then grinned. He then looked at Daryl and hugged his look-a-like. "Good Mornin' lil' bro. How was the night?"
"Mornin' fucker. It was really quiet. Too quiet." Daryl pressed Murphy once again and then let go. Connor was just standing there, unsure what to do but Daryl came already closer. "Mornin' Leprechaun. How are ya'?", he asked and held his arms open. Connor smirked and closed the space between them, hugging Daryl. "Mornin' Cenunnos. I'm better. Me and Murph' wanna go for a short walk. Need to talk to him. Alone. Yeh know."
"Ya' goin' alone? Take your weapons. Be careful. Both of you!" He looked at Murphy who was nodding and biting his thumb again. "Dar' can I ask yeh somethin'?", the younger one said.
"Yeah. 'Course you can." Daryl was a bit confused.
"I kno' we have to go into the city today but Conn' is not fit enough and he can't fight and I bet Beth is still too weak to. Wouldn't it be better to...yeh kno'...Wait?" Murphy was worried about the whole thing. Something about going to town didn't feel right.
"Funny you mention that. Carol and me were talking about that."
Carol nodded. "We should speak with Rick. We don't know what the town looks like. The big cities were all overrun. And we can't take Judith in there too."
"Aye", Murphy agreed.
"You two go and take a walk. I will talk to the others. Okay?", Daryl suggested.
"Aye. Thanks lil' bro." Murphy smiled and looked at Daryl who smiled back at him. Connor was still resting his head on Daryl's shoulder and Daryl was still crawling his head. Murphy thought this looked so right. And it felt right. In a sudden feeling of happiness he throw his arms around Connor and Daryl, wo both looked a bit surprised but Murphy just smiled like a little kid and kissed both men on their cheeks. "I love you", he said and the other two men just looked at each other shook their head and smiled. Daryl was the first one to say: "Fucker, I love you too." One arm now around Murphy's waist. Carol started chuckling. "Well guys, you look like a happy family."
"Aye. We are a family.", Connor agreed. Then kissed his brother on his temple and moved an arm around his brother. Murphy then chuckled and let go of them both and whispered into Connors ear: "I'm okay with you and him. I think it is right. I was just..surprised to see it." Or something else, he thought.
"Well. Sorry Baby Brother but you better get used to it." And with that Connor pressed his lips against Daryl's. Daryl was a bit startled by this but didn't shrink back. Carol and Murphy looked at each other. They were standing close enough to whisper. "They look happy", Carol breathed.
"Aye. Aye, I can tell yeh they are. I can feel it. I'm happy too."
"You don't think it is weird that Daryl looks like you?"
Murphy shook his head. "Nah. It was for a day or two but I think it was meant to be."
"But you are religious. Isn't it a sin?"
Murphy chuckled. "Aye but yeh kno'...Killing is too. And Conn' and me are serial killers. We are goin' to hell anyway. Even so we killed in gods mission. If he is the god I am prayin' to he will be okay with them. With their love. If he is not, well then I rather go to hell. I know we are doomed and this world's is breaking apart. All we have left id hope and love." Murphy looked at Carol, his face now serious. Carol thought he looked a lot more like Daryl now and she nodded. They watched Connor and Daryl kiss again and touching and both smirked. Daryl wanted to be alone with Connor and he was well aware what Murphy and Carol were talking about. He was feeling their eyes upon his skin but he didn't care. Connor needed this and he couldn't help himself. He finally had something worth living for, worth dying for. Daryl knew he was in love for the first time in his life. For the first time he didn't care about others and what they say or do. He wanted to be with Connor. "Hey you two love monkeys, can yeh stop? I'm gettin' all jealous. Not everyone has someone to kiss and screw around with."
Connor opened his eyes and looked at Murphy. "Yeh should find someone then. I am not stopping because yer jealous." Then he kissed Daryl again. "No serious Conn' we wanted to go for a walk."
"Baby Brother yer not fun at all", Connor sighed and stroked Daryl's beard. "See yeh later." Daryl nodded and let go of Connor. "Take care." Both twins nodded and Murphy waved and both started walking towards the woods.
Daryl looked worried. Does Connor tell the whole thing or not?
He looked at Carol and his face was getting a bit red because he just kissed Connor. Carol just smiled and shook her head. "You know, you are allowed to be happy Daryl. Take everything you get and want because none of us knows when it is over. We can be eaten any second. Enjoy this as long as you can."
Daryl grabbed the string of his crossbow. "I know. But it is all so weird."
"Not at all. You love him."
"Yeah", Daryl admitted and watched Carol for a while. Yeah he was in love and he knew it was fuckin' confusing. All this mixed up feelings in his body. He felt like a 15 year old boy discovering sex and love for the first time. And for a sudden moment he wanted to be 15 and he wanted to have a lifetime with his new brothers, with his Leprechaun.

Murphy and Connor walked a bit along the river and when they were far enough away they sat down on a bench and Connor automatically took Murphy's hand in his. "What d'yeh wanna kno'?"
"Everythin'."
Connor shook his head, his eyes fixed on a point on the water. "It was just horrible. A lot of beatin', cuttin' and death threads. He hit me with his belt, his knife cutting my skin like butter and my whole body is looking like my chest and back. Yeh saw me there."
"Aye." Murphy was holding back his tears. "First I told myself I wouldn't scream or break but after I passed out several times I gave in and screamed."
Murphy pressed his brothers hand. "It's okay. Yeh were in pain and yeh kno' yer allowed to be weak Conn'."
The older twin shook his head. Trying not to think of the rest. He stood up, his hands on his hips and his head bowed down. "I thought I am goin' to die."
"Did he do anythin' else?"
Connor hold his breath and then looked at his brother who was kneading his hands and looking up to meet his eyes. Connor shook his head but he knew his brother knew he was lying. Connor started cryin'. He didn't want Murphy to know. He was afraid his brother would think bad of him or would start being the one caring for him. Trying to be the older brother and Connor didn't want any change in their relationship. He felt arms around his waist and rested his head on his brothers shoulders. Murphy was too calm, Connor thought. Murphy was holding his tears back, when he asked: "What happened?", his voice lower.
"He..it hurt so much", Connor tried. He couldn't say it. He just couldn't do it. "Did he rape you?", Murphy tried again and his voice was shaking.
Connor pressed himself closer to his brother and nodded. Unable to speak. Murphy was holding him and kissing him and whispered: "I should have shove something up his ass before I shot him and I should have castrated him and rip his guts out and..." Murphy was angry and hugged his brother. No one was doing this to his family. Connor just gripped him tighter and Murphy could hear him cry and sob and gasping for air. He felt as if his brother was falling apart in his arms. Breaking once more. "We are not going with the group. NO way. We will search a place where we can stay. I don't want you near any danger", Murphy explained. Connor shook his head. "Daryl", he whispered.
"He will stay with us. He loves you too much to leave you." Connor shook his head again.
"Rick", he said.
"Rick is a friend. A brother. You are much more to him. Conn' look at me."
Connor sighed, tried to calm himself and looked at his baby brother. As soon as Connors eyes met Murphy's he went on: "I can't take this away. I can't turn back time. I can't...I can't do anything but keep yeh safe. With or without Daryl. I don't want yeh in this town. They will understand that and yeh heard Daryl he wanted to talk to Rick anyway. Oh Conn", his last words were only whispers and he kissed his big brother on his forehead. His hands resting on Connors face. It was unbelievable how angry and sad he was. He wanted to rip something apart. Wanted to punch someone. Why did this happen to his brother? To a good man? To one of the best people he knew? To his fuckin' twin! Murphy felt an enormous pain in his soul and his guts. Connor was just standing there. Looking at him and Murphy new that some of this pain was his brothers. As much as he tried not to cry, he couldn't hold it back. His brother went through so much pain and they always shared it. "It's okay Conn'. Let it go. Okay? Don't block it. I am willing to take some of the pain." Connor shook his head.
"No Murph'. This pain is stuck with me. I don't want yeh to feel everything. Just a bit."
"Why didn't yeh tell me yesterday? Or the day we found yeh? Does Daryl know?"
Connor shrugged. "Yeah. He saw it. When yeh found me." "He saw? WHAT?"
"Yeh know...the sperm."
Murphy shook his head. Daryl was so eager to dress Connor that day and he had thought it was to get out of there but now Murphy knew. He didn't want him to see. They both wanted to keep him away from this. Murphy let go of Connor and turned around.
"I am not a child anymore Conn'. Why did yeh fuckin' exclude me? Why did yeh think I can't bear that? I am yer fuckin' brother and I have a right to know. It fuckin' hurts to kno' wha' happened to yeh but it is..." Murphy gave up and kicked a stone on the ground. "Fuck!"
Connor watched Murphy's burst of temper with a smirk. His brother was like a pitbull sometimes. "I did it to protect yeh and because speaking about it brings all the images back. All the pain. All the... I couldn't tell yeh. I didn't speak about it at all. Daryl just knew and understood."
Murphy turned around again and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. It is okay tha' he knows. I am not angry abou' that. I am just...angry at the world."
Connor walked back to the bench and sat down. He was angry and sad and felt empty and lost and yet he felt incredible happy that he had a brother like Murphy and a friend like Daryl. He knew that without those two he would kill himself. Right now. He didn't want to live like this. Murphy sat back next to him, grabbing his hand again. "Please promise me, tha' yeh wake me when yer havin' a bad dream. Wake me when yeh cry. Talk to me, give me signs. Lemme help yeh. I am here for yeh. I always were There."
"C'mere." Connor said and pulled Murphy to his chest. "Love yeh baby bro'. And I promise."
Murphy nodded. "And you and Daryl? What is this? I am confused. Are you in love with him?" Murphy wasn't at all confused.
Connor shook his head in agreement. "I think I am."
Murphy smiled. "Is it weird that I don't think that this is weird at all? Aren't we supposed to be super religious about tha'? But somehow yeh two...I don't know..That connection we felt..well maybe he is YOUR soulmate. Your true love...I don't know and I think he loves you." Murphy kissed Connors temple and smiled. Murphy thought maybe Connor would tell him. Would finally tell him what kept him awake when they were younger. Murphy never pushed his brother and he never told him that he felt every pain he felt. It started when they were 12 or 13. After that Connor cared even more for him and acted even more like a big brother. Murphy had figured out why.
"Yeah. It all is confusing but Murph' I really do want him in my life. Our life. I want to fuckin' kiss him and hug him and everythin'. I have no idea if this is goin' somewhere but I want it. Daryl was on my mind the whole time I've been tortured. You too. But different. Are you okay with this?" Connor was afraid that Murphy wouldn't be so happy about it but his younger brother was smiling and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah I am. Just want yeh to be happy." This has been the truth since their childhood. He let Connor care for him because Connor needed it. He followed Connor to Boston because he was afraid to leave him alone. Afraid Connor might get himself into more trouble than when he was there. Murphy was playing the little brother. Yeah he liked it but he never needed it. There were times when he was sleeping at a friends house just to annoy Connor. Just to make him see that he is okay on his own but Murphy always went back home, afraid Connor might have those dreams again. They never knew where they came from. Murphy had nightmares, too. Sometimes they dreamed the same things but this was different. Hopefully Connor would tell him soon because Murphy knew it wasn't him he was dreaming about. Not his pain his brother was feeling. It was Daryl's. It all made perfect sense and yet, it didn't.
"Thank you", Connor whispered.
"Ready to go back? I'm hungry."
"Yer always hungry. Yeah lets go back."
Murphy walked behind his brother, watching his back and his eyes observed every move his brother made. Connor was in pain because he walked slower as usual, his moves were less forceful and Murphy thought that maybe he wasn't only bruised on the outside. Someone had taken something from Connor and that made Murphy even more angry. That bastard had taken something out of Connors eyes. Bruised his perfect soul. Something Murphy couldn't handle but he had to be brave now, strong. For Connor.

Daryl had already spoken to Carol and to Abraham about his new plan and both agreed with it. He only had to convince Rick now. The sheriff was holding his daughter and feeding her, while Carl and Michonne were sharing their breakfast together. "Good morning Rick. Morning little asskicker." Daryl tickled Judith and then looked at his friend. "Good Morning Daryl."
"Can we talk?"
"Yeah of course."
Rick smiled down at his little girl and listened to Daryl. "Well, I know we have to go to the city as fast as possible. I know Eugene has to be there but I have my doubts that it would be wise to go with all of us."
Rick now looked at Daryl. "We are not splitting up."
"Yeah but Rick. First of all you want to take Judith into the city when we don't know what is going on? Remember Atlanta?"
Rick nodded. "Yeah."
"I thought maybe two or three of us drive to the border today to see what is going on there and then maybe go back tomorrow with everyone if the way is free. We don't know what awaits us there. Don't want to run into walkers with two injured and two kids."
Daryl was really proud of himself that he finally had enough courage to speak to Rick like this. Maybe his complete world changed when Rick said he was his brother. They were family.
"You have a point there", Rick agreed. "Who do you think should go?"
"I already spoke to Abraham and he is willing to go. Carol, too. And I think I will go too."
Rick shook his head. "No you are not."
"Why?"
"First of all you have been awake nearly 24 hours and because the twins need you. I saw you this morning." Rick smiled and clapped his friends shoulder. Daryl was a bit ashamed and smirked. "Uhm. Yeah."
"I'm glad for you."
"Yeah?"
"Daryl, you are like a brother to me. I want you to be happy. You know how rare this is."
Daryl nodded and smiled. He played with Judiths hand that she was reaching him and Rick handed her over to Daryl. "Thank you, Rick. For everything. I will take care of Judith and everything while you are gone. You should tell everyone now."
"I will." Rick walked over to Glenn and Maggie and to Michonne. And was gathering them together. Daryl was rocking Judith in his arms and walked over to the truck and leaned against it. Waiting for everyone to join him. He looked over to the river and saw Connor and Murphy coming back. Connor looked sad and Murphy like he was going to rip someones throat out. Both came straight to him and Connor smiled when he saw Daryl with Judith in his arms. Connor nudged his friend and then tickled Judith. "She is so sweet. I wish we could go to a playground and play hide and seek and all the kids stuff." Daryl watched his friend and leaned closer to whisper: "How did it go?"
"He knows", Connor voiced. Murphy was standing on the other side of Daryl, playing with Judiths hand. "Lil'' bro yeh lookin' good with a kid", he stated.
"Shut up." Murphy crossed his hands on Daryl's shoulder and then rested his head on it, whispering: "How do you deal with the pain?"
Daryl looked at him and answered: "I will help you. Later." Both nodded and Murphy watched Connor as he was leaning against the truck, his hip touching Daryl's. He was glad they were three now. When Rick approached them, he clapped both twins on the shoulder and smiled at Daryl with his daughter in arms. Daryl wanted to reach Judith back but the girl was refusing to let go of his hair and Rick chuckled. "Hold her for a while. She missed her godfather."
Daryl froze. "What?"
Rick rose an eyebrow, smirking.
"Yeah of course. As soon as we can I want you to be her godfather. Your her crazy uncle."
Daryl smiled and was totally surprised. "Thank you." Actually he was blushing.
"Brothers, remember?"
Daryl nodded and looked down at the little human being in his arms. His godchild. He was an uncle now. And his family was getting bigger and bigger. Connor and Murphy chuckled. "Uncle Daryyyyyyyyyyyl", Murphy joked.
"Will ya' stop." But Daryl felt incredible. This was his life now. Happy Daryl Dixon.
When everyone was there Rick started to explain their new plan and everyone agreed. Glenn said he wanted to go with them. And in the end they were five people going to see what was going on in the city.
"While I am gone Daryl will make the call. If anything happens, he will take care of everything. He knows what to do. And Murphy?"
"Aye?"
"You will help him as good as you can. Connor, Beth and Carl, you will stay back from any trouble and take care of Judith."
"Man, relax. We can handle that. We are a lot of people. Nothing will happen"; Daryl expressed.
"Yeah. Sorry. Okay then, everyone knows what to do." Rick ended his speech and turned around to kiss his girl. "Take good care of her", he breathed.
"We will", Connor said and clapped Ricks shoulder. Rick watched the three men and shook his head. "This is so awkward. You three look as if you know each other since ever. Just as if you belong to each other. I might get jealous. You are stealing my new brother away from me." He chuckled and looked at Daryl.
Who was smiling and shaking his head. "Nah. Don't be jealous. We are all family." Daryl looked around the camp and Rick agreed. "Yeah. We are."
Then Connor did something neither Daryl nor Rick was expecting. He suited himself in front of Rick, his hands on the mans shoulders and he was looking at him with a serious face. "I know its been some days only but believe me, we are not tearing you apart and we are glad that you accepted us. We are not taking Daryl away from you or your family. We just...you know. Want to be a part of it. Whatever you want us to do, we do it. Whatever you need, we will get it. Murph' and me can do a lot of stuff. We will do everything you want. I know I made mistakes and I am sorry that I punched Daryl the other day. But I promise we will proof to you that we are good."
Rick smirked and patted Connors shoulder and then replied: "You don't have to. It is proof enough that Daryl loves you two. And you my friend should heal first before you do anything."
Connor nodded. "Aye." He let go of Rick and both man smirked and while Connor went back to Daryl, Rick went to grab his things.
"What on earth was that?", Daryl asked.
"Rick is afraid to loose you, Cenunnos. You are more family to him than the others. And he just made you an uncle."
"Which makes you an uncle, too", Murphy commented which made Daryl and Connor stare confused at the younger twin. Then both looked at each other and shrugged. Connor moved closer and gave Daryl a kiss. "Oi. Stop it. Not again", Murphy complained.
"Yeh want one too?"
"Ewww. No." Murphy shook his head and walked away. Leaving Daryl and Connor alone.
Daryl looked around if anybody could see them but they were all busy. "Conn' I know you want to kiss me and I fuckin' want to kiss you too but I don't..."
"...want everyone to know. It's okay."
"Thanks. By the way Carol and Rick know."
"Yeah. They seem to be okay."
"Yeah. And if they were not I wouldn't mind." Then Daryl whispered. "I love you, Leprechaun."
"I love you, too. Even if it is really quick and weird."
"You don't say." Both smiled and then Daryl looked down at Judith who fell asleep.
"I think I will bring lil' asskicker back to Carl and Michonne now."
"Aye. I will lie down. Can I use your blanket?" Connor pointed his head to the direction where Daryl's bag was suited.
"Of Course."
Connor moved over to Daryl's backpack and was laying down on the blanket that was lying on the ground. It was a bit wet from the dew but Connor didn't want to lie in the truck all day but standing and sitting was hurting too much and he hoped that Daryl was going to spend some time with him. Maybe take care of his wounds again. He searched for Murphy and found him standing by Beth. Probably making sure she was okay. Connor sighed. He wished he would be fit because he would be going with the group, killing walkers and check the city. He hated to be sick like this. He hated to be wounded and looking fragile. Connor was sick of this. Some part of him wished they would have never gone to Terminus. But a bigger part of him was very thankful that they did. His eyes met Daryl's who was coming closer. The best thing that ever happened to him was walking straight into his direction. The man with the dark clothes, the angel vest, the dark long hair and the strong arms. Arms in which Connor wanted to be buried in right now. Daryl was sitting next to him now, watching him. For a moment Connor thought, the world was standing still again. Because he was drowning in Daryl's eyes. Daryl moved and was now lying down next to him. Facing Connor and he looked around once more and then grabbed Connors hand, kissed his palm and breathed: "How about we sleep some more and then we go for a walk?" Daryl smirked. He wanted to be alone with Connor.
"Aye. Anythin' to finally be alone with you."
Daryl nodded and closed his eyes. Connor watched Daryl sleep for some minutes and then snuggled himself closer but not as close as he wanted to and closed his eyes too. Maybe everything was going to be okay.

Daryl and Connor walked along the river and looked at the old buildings surrounding them. When they thought they were far enough gone to be out of sight but still close enough to hear when the others scream in case of danger, they sat down, leaning against a wall. They hadn't spoken the whole way, just enjoyed each others company. As soon as they were sitting, Connor leaned closer to Daryl and rested his head on the hunters shoulder. Daryl wrapped one arm around him. "What are you thinking right now?", he asked silently.
Connors eyes were fixed on the water and the boats they still could see on the other side of the river. Connor thought this place looked beautiful. "I wish this was another time, another day. Another world. I would like to sit here, drink a beer with you and Murph' maybe. Enjoy Life and not be afraid of Walkers, losing people and all the things that are so wrong", Connor explained. Daryl rubbed his hand over Connors arm. "Yeah. I think when this is over and we have a cure I will sleep for a month."
"Aye." They sat in silence for a while and Daryl put little kisses on Connors head. "Sorry but I need to lie down. Sitting still hurts."
Connor was moving his body into a lying position and Daryl watched him for a while. Connor was so brave, he thought. He was holding it all together somehow and he asked himself how that man does it. Was he that strong or so weak? Daryl had no idea. Connor was a miracle.
The Irishman crossed his arms behind his head and his face flinched a bit because of the pain that was shooting across his back. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, think of the water next to him, the man sitting beside him and his brother that was currently watching the camp. He was proud of Murphy. Murphy seemed so much older now and he was watching peoples back. Connor was always the one looking after him and care for everything. Make all the plans but for now Connor just wanted to be himself for once and do what he wanted to do.
Connor felt Daryl lying down next to him, one hand gently stroking his stomach. When Connor opened his eyes, Daryl was lying on his side, his head resting on his elbow and he was watching Connor. Connor felt little butterflies in his stomach because Daryl was looking gorgeous right now. His eyes were blue and relaxing. His long hair was falling in his face and his lips were curved into a little smile. Daryl watched Connor open his eyes and loved the way he was responding his gaze. Connor had so beautiful blue eyes. He could feel the goosebumps building on Connors stomach through the fabric of his black shirt. Daryl moved his hand under the shirt and stroked his friends stomach, up to his chest and he played with the rosary underneath it. Connor just watched him, his breath a bit faster than before. He was moving one of his arms to the side and whispered. "C'mere." Daryl took the opportunity and rested his head on Connors arm, snuggling closer to his friend, never leaving the other ones eyes. Weeks back he would have looked away after a second but something in Connors eyes made him look closer. Made him stare and he could feel the glowing inside his chest again. The butterflies in his stomach. He had never thought about another guy as beautiful but there was just no other word that would describe what he thought about Connor. Latter played with Daryl's hair and Daryl gently played with Connors rosary until his friend smiled and that made Daryl smile too and he looked at Connors lips. He needed to kiss him. Connor pulled Daryl closer when the hunter finally decided to put his lips on his. Daryl moved and was now on top of Connor, holding his weight on his elbows, so he wouldn't hurt his friend.
They kissed for a while and when Daryl needed air he whispered: "Fuck I wanted to do that the whole morning."
"Yeah me too. Seeing you with Judith was just..." Connor just shook his head because it was ridiculous. When he had seen a kid in the hunters arms he thought it looked hot and that he wanted exactly this. A family. With Daryl. Connor never even wanted kids and certainly not with another man but something had moved inside of him, when he had seen him with the kid this morning. The way Daryl was smiling and how happy and relaxed he looked. Connor was stroking Daryl's beard and smirked. He kissed him again, his hands now exploring Daryl's back, until he reached the end of his shirt and then slid his hands under it, pulling it up. Daryl looked at him for a while but then pulled his shirt and vest off. Connor instantly touched Daryl wherever he could. Sliding his hands up and down the hunters back and feeling the scars there, then moved on to touch his sides up to his armpits and then moving one thumb over the hunters nipples, which made his friend moan into their kiss. Connor loved to feel Daryl's skin under his fingers. Daryl was already hard and Connor moved his hip a bit so he could feel it better. Daryl stopped kissing him again and looked at Connor but Connor just moved on with his touching and just used one hand to let his thumb move over Daryl's face especially his lips and Daryl closed his eyes. Daryl had never felt this before. Every touch was like someone was sending electric shocks right through his body into his dick. He knew it was wrong to be so hard and wanting Connor so badly because his friend wasn't able to have any of this right now but Daryl wanted it. He was surprised by it himself. He had never thought that this was so easy for him. Three days ago he wasn't even thinking about kissing a guy and now he wanted to fuck Connor. He wanted to LOVE Connor.
Daryl opened his eyes again and the other man was still smiling. Daryl leaned against the hand in his face and the other one stroked his cheek. "Daryl...", Connor whispered. "I want you." Connor knew this was too fast. Too soon. But he just needed to feel more of him. He was going crazy because fuck, Daryl was attractive.
Daryl held his breath and looked down at his friend, putting a kiss on Connors mouth. "I want you too, but we can't."
Connor shook his head and closed his eyes. The tension between them was overwhelming. He went on sliding his hands over Daryl's body and Daryl was kissing his neck and when he was kissing his earlobe he whispered: "You know we should stop."
"I don't want to stop."
They looked at each other and Connor crushed his lips against Daryl's. He wanted to feel him, wanted to touch and kiss and make this special. He moved underneath Daryl, grinding his middle against the hunter. He ignored the pain in his body. Connor was getting hard. Daryl was startled by this and moved away from Connor, positioning him next to his friend, trying to calm down. Connor couldn't mean this but Connor was moving and now straddling him. Their eyes met again and Connor looked so certain about this. The Irishman was taking his peacoat off and started pulling up his shirt and didn't need help this time. Only his rosary was dangling in front of his chest. Daryl moved his hands over the tattoo on Connors arm. A big cross. Then gently stroked Connors wounds on his throat and chest, softly moving to his back and his friend was closing his eyes. Daryl mirrored the touching that Connor had done minutes before. Gliding up and down the Irish's sides and back. When he came to his hips he slowly moved his hands over the bruises the monster had left there. Connor moaned a bit and moved closer to Daryl, putting his lips on his mouth. "How do you want to do this?", Daryl whispered. Not sure what to do without hurting Connor. And sure as hell not even sure if HE wanted this. Hell, he wasn't that experienced. He had sex with some chicks Merle had brought home. But this was a man. And they only just met. But something told him that he wanted this and needed this. Daryl was angry and bitter for so long and he had changed in the last two years and he had changed after the prison fell. When he thought everything was lost he was reminded that there is hope. And Daryl wanted to live. He fuckin' wanted to be happy. He deserved it after so many years. When he was little he dreamed of all the happy things in the world. Before his world turned darker and darker with every punch, with every night that passed. And right now he wanted to make Connor happy. Daryl was nervous and afraid but he bit his lip and shyly looked at Connor. Connor smirked and started kissing Daryl's neck and then moved down slowly, kissing his chest, his navel and the waistband of his pants. Connor was not sure what he was doing, he just wanted to go on. He wanted to hear his friend moan and make him feel pleasure. Connor started opening Daryl's cargos and watched him closely. Daryl was nervously biting his lip but when Connor was sliding the pants down he moved his hips so it would be easier to pull them off. Connor thought it was amazing. This feeling. He kissed his way back up, moving his hand over the little snake tattoo on Daryl's tights. He moved back up and Daryl wrapped his arms around him, kissing him passionate. Daryl was naked underneath him and Connor thought it was incredible how much Daryl trusted him. Daryl himself was surprised that he allowed Connor to undress him like this. But one part of him didn't care at all that this was a bad moment, a bad place and that they were in the middle of an apocalypse. He wanted to enjoy every moment with Connor but his heart was going to explode. He was afraid. This felt so different. And Connor seemed so confident. Which made him really attractive. Well, hello again, chick flick movie.
"Leprechaun", he mumbled.
"It's okay", Connor whispered and placed himself next to Daryl, his hand sliding down the hunters chest until he reached his private parts. He slowly moved forward, watching the respond in Daryl's eyes and when the older one touched Daryl's balls he was rewarded with a moan. Daryl couldn't believe Connor was doing this but had also no idea what he was supposed to do. Should he strip Connor too? Touch him? Daryl had no idea and he just let Connor lead him. The Irishman was now closing his fingers around Daryl's dick, his thumb sliding over the tip of it, feeling the precome and Connor smiled. Daryl's breath got faster and he grabbed into Connors hair, the other hand was lying on his stomach. Connor started moving his hand up and down and Daryl opened his eyes again and he thought he was going to explode right away. It just had been too long and this was all new. He knew that he wouldn't take long. Connor moved in a slow pace and loved every bit of doing it. He loved how Daryl started to move into his hand and he loved the way Daryl looked at him and grabbed his hair. The way his face was red now and looking so wonderful. Connor felt himself getting harder in his pants because hearing his friend moan and see him move like this turned him on. He crashed his lips to Daryl's and moved his hip against his friends middle. Daryl moved and tried to open his friends pants with one hand but failed. Connor stopped his handiwork for a moment and stripped off his pants, then moved closer to Daryl and they both kissed each other. Daryl's hand was moving towards Connors middle, shyly touching the other man. Connor smiled into their kiss. Daryl was so careful not to hurt him and he was forever thankful for this. Both were now touching the other and they rested their foreheads against each other. Half sitting, half lying on the ground and they looked at each other. Both wanking the other one off and both moaning. Connor thought this felt so much better than anything he felt before and Daryl was somewhere on cloud 9. He looked into his friends blue eyes and all he wanted to do is freeze this moment. It didn't take them long to come and when they did, they nearly simultaneously moaned each others names. Both were heavy breathing and still looking at each other, their lips touching after they climaxed and both smiling. Connor let go of his friends manhood and Daryl did too. For a second Connor wanted to clean his hand on the grass but he decided that he wanted to do something crazy. Connor started licking his fingers and Daryl looked a bit confused by this but somehow he really needed to look away because else he would be hard in no matter of time again. He looked at his own hand and shrugged and started licking Connors cum from his hand. Even so this was the weirdest thing he could imagine right now. It didn't tasted at all as he imagined it. Connor smirked and kissed Daryl after he was finished. "I love you Daryl."
Daryl smiled and took Connors face into his hands. "I never thought that this would happen to me. I never thought I would find someone that could love me and most surprisingly that I can love. But I do. And gosh man, you are beautiful and what you...what we just did...I want more of this. More of you. I love you. I really do."
Connor nodded and kissed Daryl. "There will be a lot more. We have the rest of our lives now. As long as you want me."
Daryl chuckled. "Or as long as you want me."
"Aye."
They kissed again and then started dressing again and when they walked back, they were holding hands, stopping now and then, kissing each other. Even when they reached the camp they didn't let go of their hands and smiled, because it didn't matter anymore what anyone would think, as long as they had each other. The Irishman was glad that he had Daryl. Helping him to cope with this thing. He was still hurt, of course, he was still having this awful pain in his chest, the feeling of being broken. He knew it would never go away but he couldn't hide his smile. Connor was smiling for one more reason. Because finally this all made sense. So much more sense. There was always this hole in his chest and he thought he could never fill it, but he did. He remembered the dreams when he was younger. The nightmares about Murphy being in danger. Ever since then he felt so incomplete. And now finally someone was filling this hole.