Chapter 9: Breathe In. Breathe Out.

The place was still quiet by this point in the night. This did not mean that everyone was sleeping, but with the looming events that was about to come it seemed that not many people had much to say as fear, anxiety, and determination was gripping the throats of the occupants spaced out around Buffy's home.

Buffy, herself, was able to take her mind off things for the moment. It was Spike's needs that allowed her to focus on anything other than war and the deaths that would come along with it.

He was sleeping and she didn't want to wake him, so she began very gently to wrap his wounds up as she and Angel had discussed earlier. The bus ride could be a bumpy one, especially if the battle leaked out passed the school. Who knew what would happen, and anything that could protect his damaged body, even an extra layer of bandages, would be something that she would take.

"Need any help?" Angel spoke up from behind her.

Buffy jumped at the sound of his voice. She then rolled her eyes. "Couldn't you like breathe or something to let me know when you're there?"

"It's not like I need breath." Angel reminded her.

"Doesn't stop Spike." Buffy muttered.

"You're the Slayer. Shouldn't you be able to sense me?"

"I'm a little distracted right now." Buffy huffed.

"What? Dressing Spike's wounds?" Angel took a step forward. "Don't you have enough on your plate right now? I can do that for you."

Buffy looked over her shoulder. "In all the years that I've known you, you haven't gotten any less transparent, you know that?"

Angel looked at her innocently. "What? I just came down to see if you needed help."

Buffy shook her head, more amused than annoyed. "Right. Well. Thanks, but I can handle it. This is probably the easiest task I'm going to get all day. Let me bask in it."

Buffy turned her head back towards Spike missing the almost-pout from Angel. He didn't care to think of her basking in anything that had to do with Spike. Sure, they had already had their conversation over this, but it didn't mean that he liked their interaction any more. It just meant that he was going to act less hostile over it.
"I'll be up when it's gets to be time to leave." Buffy stated.

Taking the hint Angel made his way upstairs. What other choice did he have? Buffy was focused on her vampire and at the moment it wasn't him. At least Spike was asleep. He was comforted by that fact and for that he was glad that he had gone downstairs.

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The troops were moving out. Friends and potentials charged towards the bus loading themselves up. Spike and Xander, who required extra handling, had been placed there ready to go before the others. Spike was covered up with a blanket, shielded away from the sun that might rise before the battle was over. There was no telling how long this battle was going to last, but with the shape that he was in he would be unable to get himself covered if the time came and the troops were still stationed inside. Xander was only inches away and could probably get the job done, but considering how busted up he was, it wasn't worth risking the sun beating him before the job was done. Buffy had positioned Spike so that he was laying towards the back of the bus, on the ground, covered in blankets. His face peaked out as everyone sat around, as the safe darkness was still blanketing them.

Tension could be felt rolling off everyone who sat in waiting. They were bringing the war to the enemy. Still, the tension in this bus was not restricted to the war itself. Spike felt like he might explode in fury: Wood was there. Sitting only a few rows ahead of him, and sharing in the nervous chatter with the rest. He had a lot of nerve, continuing to hang with the gang like that. But, he noticed, with some satisfaction, he wasn't the only one feeling like that. Angel's eyes couldn't help but fall on Wood as he sat silently a little behind him. More than that, his gaze held nothing but hatred and one might think it was Angelus who was present. In a lot of ways he was. It was clear as day that something had gone on between these two? Was it too much to hope that Angel had figured out that he was behind what had happened? Wood's own zoned out expression of avoidance clearly stated that something was up and should have been peculiar to others. Instead, it was chalked up to the same stress everyone was undergoing, the fear that they would die. The fear that those they cared about would die. Plus, the terror that evil would prevail. From where Spike was sitting it seemed that this was the least of Wood's worries. He only hoped Angel wouldn't take matters into his own fangs, and cheat him of the right to take this monster out. Would be just like him, the git.

Wood was indeed more worried about the aftermath than about the battle itself. It was only a matter of time before everything was known. His involvement would come to light or at the very least he'd have an angry vampire on his hands. Woods doubted Angel would keep Buffy out of the showdown. A vampire and a slayer up against a watcher-trained slayer's son, this was not a pleasant thought. Wood was good in a fight, but he knew full well that he didn't stand a chance in that circumstance. This couldn't be known. He couldn't be found out by Buffy. It wasn't solely about making sure Spike stayed quiet. What would shutting Spike up do for him now when the truth had already been made known to some? Not some. A certain one. A one that would kill him faster than he could blink. It was no use. He was a traitor, even if his betrayal wasn't where his heart was. He was lost in pain and ache. His childhood had been dramatically altered due to evil that he had to not only look in the face day in and day out, but fight side by side with. How could he not lose his cool? How could they expect him not to react? But they weren't going to take his emotions into consideration. That had already been made clear. No, he needed to get out. First, do his part. He was on the side of good after all. He was willing to risk his life for the future of the world. He valued every living being's fate. He deeply appreciated this chance to break the dirty alliance with the First and fight on the right side. To make sure no more innocents were harmed, no more children would have to suffer as orphans like he had, no more evil were allowed to dominate the world. He knew the errors of his ways earlier. He could chew this over day and night and it would still come down to one thing. He teamed up with the ultimate evil. He had teamed up with The First. He cursed himself for having been bound to go to that extreme. He should have been able to take Spike down himself when he had the chance! Now it was too late. He knew that. He clung on to the hope that maybe, if he fought bravely and really showed his devotion to taking the First down, maybe they'd never suspect him? Especially if Angel, who was the only one who knew, died down there, and couldn't make good on his promise of revenge. Maybe, then, he could make it out of this alive. Maybe.

Spike hadn't been surprised to see Wood come along for the apocalypse given how involved he had been since Buffy had met him, but that didn't mean he liked to think that she was such good mates with Wood after what he had done. He was the one responsible after all, working with The First itself, and yet here he sat as if he were one of the heroes. As his impotent rage sept out of him, he couldn't help but feel vulnerable, damaged, with the knowledge that Wood could still do what he pleased so easily with him if he wanted to. The only thing Wood proved was to become more creative in his torture as time went on. He operated on him, what did the bloke have planned for him next? There was something next. There had to be. The guy hadn't simply let him go. Buffy and Angel had rescued him, he had escaped, and there was no question that it had probably pissed him off royally. Spike didn't want to find out what else was in store. He couldn't. Weaker than a human, he knew it was true, now even without restraints. He felt as though he were being choked, he wanted to grab at his throat, rip the non-existent hands away, but he knew the attempt would only bring pain. None nearly so bad as what his captor had planned for him if he got his hands on him again though. He wanted to. He was planning it. That must be true.

Spike reverted to reminding himself that Buffy was here. She was standing right in front of him. She wouldn't let anything happen to him. She had taken the time to get him back during hell literally breaking lose, so there was no way that she would allow for him to go back. He felt pathetic now. Normally, it'd be his own skill he was sure of. He could take care of himself. Instead he was looking for protection as if he needed to be coddled and looked after with care like fine China. It was all Wood's fault for it too. That familiar urge to rip his throat out was creeping up again and it was only his damaged physical condition that kept him from doing it.

Mate has real balls stickin' 'round. Must have a death wish. Can help with that, I can.

Buffy sensed the tension of shifting emotions that was rolling off Spike causing her to turn and look at him. She gently placed a hand on his blanket covered body. "It's gonna be alright Spike." What else could she say to him? She couldn't promise him anything specific. She didn't know what he was thinking about, but she knew that he was the one on the bus whose mind actually could be off the war given what he had been rescued from.

Soddin' perfect! Now I really am bein' treated like fine China!

There was a storm brewing inside of him. He felt such vulnerability, uselessness, frustration. He wanted to stand up, do the bloke in, but that wasn't a possibility. He laid here, like a lump, letting his tormentor get away, and letting the love of his unlife walk to what could be her death without him as any kind of help to have in her corner. He should be able to deal with his own problems, but instead he was laying under a blanket, forced to wallow in them. Sound like any particular vampire? He swore the day he became like Peaches he'd put a stake in himself.

The bus halted to a stop, everyone looked towards each other hesitantly. This was the last moment they were able to think, feel fear, and worry. That moment was up now. Over with before it had begun, because now it was time to act.

Buffy was the first to move. She took a moment to allow her eyes to fall on Spike and then Xander with a look of respect for her two injured warriors. After a few seconds passed by she made her way towards the front of the bus standing before everyone as a tower of strength. "Everyone head inside. Orders will be given in the lobby." With that simply stated she walked off the bus, making her way towards the school, an army following close behind.

There was one straggler left behind. Angel. He had sensed someone watching him and he didn't have to turn his head to know who it was. Spike was picking up on something. He was always too observant for his own good. Perhaps he was too observant much to Angel's annoyance, but right now he was glad to see it. Now more than ever Spike deserved to be able to seek comfort in something. He deserved to be able to seek comfort in the fact that the person who had done this to him would be dealt with.

Angel moved towards the back of the bus and bent down towards Spike, speaking in a very hushed tone. "Don't worry. I know. No one hurts my family and gets away with it. I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore. I'll defend you. And I promise you, he will be dealt with…"

Those were the words that Spike was left with. He watched his grand-sire stand up, turn, and make his way out towards the war.

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With the troops having stormed into the school the two misfits were left on the bus to stew. An awkward silence hung helplessly in the air and it didn't help matters any that Xander's only real company was an apprehensive looking blanket.

"You know." Xander spoke up. "We should have come better prepared. I should have brought a deck of cards. We could have played war. While they're fighting in war. Kinda like a theme. Only way depressing. Granted, your hands don't work, and I'm not even fully fit for that either. but at least it'd pass the time until what could be our untimely death."

Silence met Xander's words, that and a raised eyebrow from Spike. It would have been bad enough if he were stuck with another useless individual, any useless individual, but at least then ranting and raving with one another was an option. Conversations were hard to have with a mute. But he was still grateful for his own ability to vent. At least it wasn't bottled inside. Spike may be free, but it seemed he was still a prisoner in many ways, locked within himself. As mute company to be stuck with, Spike really wasn't the worst though, with how he kept finding ways to express himself anyway.

"Gotta say, I'm kinda missing your british insults." Xander sighed. Spike gave him a look that came close to making up for the lack. Xander chuckled. "Okay, this sucks. I've been fighting by Buffy's side since the beginning. I should be there with her now. All of them. Anya! I let Anya walk in there without my support. I even proposed to her during one of these things once." He quieted down at the memory. They could have been married right now. No, it wasn't right, the getting married that is. There were too many doubts, too many uncertainties back then. That didn't take away the sting of the events that unfolded. It didn't keep it from allowing a cloud to form over the once happy memory of their engagement. "I don't want her to die…"

Spike lifted his head up, sympathetic blue eyes peering out at Xander from underneath his cave. The corners of his mouth were starting to form a sore smile. It was quite possibly the only time the two of them had ever been in the same boat. They both were hurting, waiting in anxiety, fate forcing them to sit on the sidelines when they had just as much right to be down in the trenches with everyone else. No, Spike couldn't speak with words, but his eyes said it all. It was frustrating for him too.

He should have been able to go down into the trenches with Buffy, helping, having her back as he had done for years. Instead, he had wait here with The Glorified Brick Layer. He wasn't the worst company to be useless with. That was something that he wouldn't have thought a year ago. How things change. Xander had started acting decent and Giles was going around trying to get him killed. People can surprise you. Even after living as long as he had.

He had allowed his thoughts to digress, but only for so long. They only could for a short period of time. Immediately his thoughts would fall back onto Buffy, wondering how she was doing inside. What if she was hurt? What if she was bleeding? What if they had all been massacred already? No. That hadn't happened yet. He would know it as he and Xander would be next on the menu to be slaughtered. Their only defense was Xander's driving skills and somehow Spike just wasn't counting on that to be their saving grace. It didn't matter, that part of it, it wasn't a concern. He wasn't afraid of violence and death. The only time it rocked him was when it was that of someone he cared about. His mind immediately went back to the thought of Buffy hurt and in need.

Once again, Xander knew exactly how he felt. He leaned back against his seat, kicking the one in front of him out frustration. "Part of me wants to charge in there. Pick up a weapon. Give them hell. I'd probably make it to the front door before crumbling." He shook his head before looking back at Spike with understanding. "I bet that's how you're feeling too. Like we've been put out to pasture. We don't have anything to offer anymore. It's not like they had a choice to keep us here. Wounds heal though, Spike. All wounds. It just takes time. Later on, we can play our part. For now, we just have to trust Buffy. She has a good plan." Xander nodded his head, though it was hard to tell who he was trying to convince. "They'll be okay."

They both took some time to quietly think things over. Their thoughts mirrored each other's almost perfectly. One might think they were sharing that of the same mind. That feeling of helplessness, thoughts filled with anxiety, and fear for the ones they loved. It was as if they were one person now. Never in a million years would the two of them ever guessed that they could think about a situation so similarly, but now they were both hurting in the same way as they longed to see those school doors open and their loved ones to come rushing out. It seemed to never happen. Minute after minute ticked by, hour after hour, but no one emerged. It was a good sign as all was not lost, but their stomach flipped over more rapidly as the waiting became interminable.

Xander checked back on Spike again, with the sight of the sun starting to greet the day. It was then that he realized that Spike had shifted, as much as he could in his condition. What with his head nosing around, his blanket was starting to slip off him. He stood up and made his way back towards Spike. There was enough possible death taking place, he wasn't going to have a dusty vampire. Not on his watch.

He kneeled down by Spike and very gently took the blanket up, it dawning on him again just how injured Spike really was. He couldn't adjust a blanket for himself. He laid there completely helpless. That's why they were both here after all. They were the helpless. Though Xander could move, he could do things for himself still, and in that moment he actually counted himself lucky. "You're going to have to stay under there from now on. Sun's coming up."

Xander started to get up, but then stopped. He sat down completely by Spike. He was stuck, trapped and confined under there, but that didn't mean he had to be back here alone. Right now, the only people in the world they knew for certain they had was each other.

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Something was happening. Xander stood up to get a clearer vision of what was going on. He could see the Slayers coming towards the bus. Were they all Slayers now? Had Willow's spell worked? He couldn't tell by just looking at them, though their running may not have been a good sign. Had the war leaked outside? The ubervamps wouldn't be part of that fight, but they could have a whole lot of Bringers to take out. That didn't seem to be the case. They were all climbing aboard the bus. A few of them were injured; someone was helping Wood up and into a seat. Xander continued to eagerly watch more and more people climb onto the bus. Willow had made it, Andrew, more potentials, or slayers? He still didn't know this yet, but he figured they were probably slayers given the fact that if they remained potentials they'd all most likely be dead.

The commotion had grabbed Spike's attention too. He once again was peeking out from underneath his blanket as best he could. It had taken a bit of effort on his part, but lifting and shaking his head over and over again had disturbed the pile enough that despite the danger of it he now had a nice little peephole he could look through. To hell with the sun, he needed to see who was making their way onto the bus!

Where was Buffy? Still on the hellmouth? No, that couldn't be. Why weren't the rest of them there? They would only have come out if it were over and time to leave. They would only be here if they had been victorious. Shouldn't Buffy be leading the victorious march out? Or maybe she was simply helping the others out of the school. Yes, that had to be it. It had be. That was when he felt the rumbling of the bus take off.

If Spike could breathe, he would be hyperventilating. What could he do? Should he inform them that they had forgotten someone? Not that he had the means to be able to do so, but there had to be some kind of mistake. This couldn't be happening. Had he just let Buffy walk right into her death? Why did he have to be so useless? Why was he being such a wuss about a broken body? Why was he letting that hold him back? If he had been in there he could have saved her. He had failed her! Again! She had to jump from that tower two years ago, because he couldn't keep a promise to help her! And now he was useless to her again. He was supposed to be one of her strongest warriors in this. She had said so countless times. He had been needed, but he was too busy needing to be babied that he hadn't helped once more. He had let her down. She was gone again because of him! It was all he could do not to throw himself out into the sun that was shining in.

Xander continued to stare at the door, expecting more people to walk through. Really, he was waiting for Anya to come in with some inappropriate comment about how many dead slayers there were. Buffy's absence was certainly not lost on him. His gaze fell on Willow who shared the same look of concern on her face. No, they were coming. They had to be coming. Even when Giles had put the bus into motion, it didn't mean that everyone was here. It didn't mean that at all. His eyes fell back onto the door as if it would open.

Any second now…

THUD

something hit the roof of the bus. What was falling from the sky? A few people looked up in confusion, but with so much chaos around them it was quickly dismissed. The bus carried on, Sunnydale cratering behind them, and it was only when they were just outside of town that they were able to steady to a stop.

The doors opened and those that were well enough made their way out. Xander, who had been injured found that he needed answers. He took hold of Willow as she passed him by, to get support for his injuries while walking, and together they walked out, Dawn following behind them, and Giles after her. Spike was left with panicked new slayers all around him as he closed his eyes in misery.

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Everyone gazed out at the crater that was now Sunnydale. There went the little town of horrors. The hellmouth was gone. How? That was one question that most of them shared in that moment. What was so powerful that it could have taken down the hellmouth?

Giles, who was particularly bewildered, stated his curiosity out loud. "What did this?"

Buffy, who had come down from the roof of the bus and joined them, gazed out at the sight laid before her eyes, love, relief, and pain all evident on her face. "Angel."

As the others continued to take in the sight of the hellmouth, Xander took the opportunity to take Andrew aside.

"So, did you see?" Xander asked.

Andrew kept his eyes down, unable to look at Xander. "I…I was scared. I'm sorry."

Xander tried once more. "Did you see what happened? I mean, was she…"

Andrew looked up at him now. "She was incredible. She died saving my life."

Xander reached over and placed his hand on Andrews shoulder, giving him a nod. "That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing."

Andrew smiled a little as Xander joined the rest of the gang back over by the crater formerly known as Sunnydale.

"It looks like the hellmouth is officially closed." Dawn grinned triumphantly.

"There's another one in Cleveland. Not to spoil the moment." Giles bent down, picking a rock up, and tossed it into the canyon.

"You saved the world!" Xander exclaimed.

"We changed the world!" Willow beamed as she walked to Buffy's side. "I can feel them, Buffy. All over. Slayers are awakening everywhere.

When Buffy didn't react Dawn spoke up for her. "We'll have to find them."

Willow nodded. "We will."

Dawn began to pace. "Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow."

Xander smirked. "All those shops gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys "R" Us. Who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them?"

"We have a lot of work ahead of us." Giles spoke on a more serious note.

Dawn looked towards Willow in response. "Can I push him in?"

"You've got my vote." Willow responded before looking towards Buffy once more. "The First is scrunched, so…what do you think we should do, Buffy?"

"Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?" Dawn inquired.

Buffy looked from person to person, emotion left off her face, her voice even. "We're going to L.A. There's some news I have to deliver." A moment later, she turned and walked back towards the bus, paying no mind to anyone as she went.

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Spike was left to stew. Hardly anything mattered to him anymore. He didn't much care if he got better or not. He didn't have anyone to get better for. He didn't have a purpose anymore. She had been his whole world, but now she was gone.

She's gone. Gone. Gone…

He thought this over and over to himself until he heard the sound of footsteps make their way back onto the bus. He felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and looked up to see Dawn standing in the aisle before him. "Spike. I don't know if you can tell. Since you're all flammable and everything, but Buffy's okay."

Spike almost shot up from where he lay when he heard that, ignoring the stabbing sensation that came from his ribs when doing so, along with the fact that he could easily catch on fire. Luckily, Dawn had anticipated the action. She quickly took hold of him, shielding him from the sun before moving the blanket back over him again. "Geez, Spike. That's not going to mean much if you're too dusty to be around her." Dawn laid him back down, wary of his injuries. "Just stay put. I think she's collecting her thoughts. There was a lot to take in. She just needs a little space."

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Buffy climbed on board the bus, and kept going, down the seat rows, in a slow, halting pace. If someone had looked at her, and some of them were, they would have wondered if she knew where she was from the blank expression on her face. In a lot of ways she didn't know where she was, or at least she didn't realize their exact location; her mind was clouded.

No one tried to stop her, but some gave her concerned looks. She didn't return the eye contact. She wasn't aware they noticed her. She didn't notice them at all. Buffy slumped down into her seat.

The Bus was driving now and the fuss around her continued, but still Buffy didn't really see any of it. She was there only in body. In mind, she had not yet left the Hellmouth. The experiences she had down there at the end of the battle kept passing before her eyes, in vivid detail.

It really hadn't gone too well. They may all be slayers now, but they were so few, and so inexperienced. They fought all they could, but girls kept dropping around her, and she too had taken a serious stab to the stomach, which the First of course couldn't resist taunting her over. Oh, she so did not have time for that right then! She ignored it, looked around, and saw Angel fighting his own battles not too far away. She had just started fighting her way over to him when he started glowing. Startled he had to back into a corner, while the other vampires shied away from him. Light was pouring out of the amulet he wore around his neck, and burned the vampires in it's way to ashes. That was great, of course, but if the light was that lethal to other vampires, what would it do to him? She ran over to him, and as she did, she noticed that the whole cave had begun shaking. The other girls were running too, breaking their lines, and hurrying into the protection of his amulet light, and the exit behind him. He had told her that she should go too, save herself, and let him do the rest of the job, with taking down the First and it's army.

She hadn't. She couldn't. So, she just stood there, frozen, looking at him. "No!" she told him. "I'm not leaving you! I can't let you die down here!" He had just smiled at her. "I'm dead already. Should have died centuries ago. And uncountable numbers of others are dead because I didn't. And now all the more lives will be lost, or worse, unless I use the amulet till the end, and stop this apocalypse. There's no other way. I have to do this." His smile grew warmer, and he added, teasingly "At least you don't have to kill me this time."

"There has to be another way! We can retreat, come back stronger later, and take the First down then!" She had made to grab the amulet and tear it off him, but he stopped her, and shook his head. "When will we be stronger? Too many girls are dead already. And the First's army will keep growing faster than ours. At any later attack It will be all the more prepared." He held on to her hands, which he had grabbed to keep them away from the amulet, and gave both of them a firm squeeze. "The Powers That Be must bless me after all, to let me get hold of this amulet and come here to you with it right now, to have it use my blackened soul to something this good. That's way more than I deserve."

So, that had been it? He didn't want to save his stupid self because he still was stuck in all those old sins he hadn't committed for a while, and felt he deserved to die? "Don't think like that! You no longer have anything to atone for! You're not responsible for Angelus' old crimes. You deserve to live!" He looked at her, with a gaze that was annoyingly steady and relaxed, considering how she was having a breakdown. "No." he replied calmly "At least not when my death can stop the ultimate evil, and save the lives of all the rest of the world." The cave was cracking and thundering all the more violently now. Kennedy had been at the cave opening, yelling at her to come out before it fell down on them, But Buffy kept standing, lost in the situation with Angel. He seemed to have taken more notice of the warning though, as he continued speaking. "But you deserve to survive. To live on. To experience life and love again... With other humans, please?" he added with a grimace. She kept standing, still not letting go of his hands, so he added "Go to L.A., and tell my gang there that I love them, and am counting on them to keep up the good fight after I'm gone, like I would for any of them." He pulled free of her hands and pushed her towards the exit. "Just go!"

And then she had gone, run up through the school, across the roofs of it's buildings, and onto the school bus just as it was leaving the area, never stopped going, untill she was standing with the others watching the crater that once had been her hometown. And then gotten back on the bus, and kept going. Although in her mind, and heart, she had never left.

Willow came and sat down next to her, but didn't say anything. She didn't need to ask what was wrong, not after they had discovered that Angel destroyed the hellmouth and not after she had gotten a few more additional details from Kennedy. She knew what Buffy needed and it wasn't to be pushed, so she sat there in case her friend was ready to talk.

Buffy turned and faced Willow after a few moments passed by. "You know, he still blamed himself for the things that Angelus did. Even in death. It didn't matter that he had done them without a soul. That it wasn't really him. He still felt like he needed to atone." She shook her head as a hint of bitterness took over. "He had such thanks for the Powers for letting him sacrifice himself for such a worthy cause."

Willow looked onto her with sympathetic eyes. "It was a worthy cause, Buffy. He saved the world. He destroyed The First's army. Maybe being able to go out in such a positive way was a good thing for him. He died feeling forgiven."

Buffy looked at Willow with weary eyes. Her eyes weren't even sure what emotion they wanted to hold at this point. She was feeling too much. "That doesn't make him any less dead."

Willow put her arms around her friend, hugging her close. What else could she do than that? She knew the pain of loss all too well. Even though things were going well between her and Kennedy there wasn't a day that passed by where she didn't think of Tara. Willow pulled away and looked at Buffy. "The way you felt about Angel will always stay strong in your heart. That never weakens. The pain does. The pain will. You can trust me on that."

Buffy looked at Willow for a moment before pulling her back into a comforting hug. Words weren't what was needed anymore. They had said all they could say. Right now, what was needed was the feeling of her friend's support. Her caring arms around her could give her the strength to make it through this day. A challenging night lay ahead of them yet. It wasn't enough that they had stopped the world from ending, but now they had to alert Angel's team that he had dusted. She didn't have the strength to do this, but she knew where she could find it, her strength was hugging her close just then.

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That vampire hearing, it never stopped working, even when he wished that it would. Spike had heard every bit of Buffy and Willow's conversation, despite the comforting words that Dawn was trying to feed him. At the mention of Angel his ears couldn't help but tune her out while tuning into what Buffy could possibly have to say about him. What his hearing met was not something he ever could have guessed.

Angel was dust. No. That couldn't be true. It wasn't as though he had his nose to relay on this time to be able to sense if these were the facts, but he just knew that it couldn't be possible. Angel didn't die. Not unless he was being sent to hell by ex-lovers. It seemed that Buffy was the only one with the ability to take Angel out. Slayer after all, it was kind of her duty. This didn't make sense. What hadn't Angel faced? He was too much of a pounce to die. Not that Spike cared of course…

He didn't care. He knew that. He had wanted to stake Angel himself a thousand times over. He was merely surprised by the news. That was it. Angel, Angelus, whoever he was. There were even times that Angel could almost tap into Angelus even though his soul was bright and shiny. How could something as dark and twisted that had once been Angelus be taken out? How could the sodding hero go down like that?

Angel seemed annoyingly on top of everything. He was out to make a point and drive Spike crazy while doing so. He had this obnoxious little fan club that loved him with no good reason as far as Spike could see. Xander was one example of someone who hadn't given into his broody charm though. One point for the boy! It didn't matter now who loved Angel and who didn't. There was nothing left to love or to hate. His grand-sire was gone. Dust. Never to be able to annoy again. Spike didn't care. He told himself that the whole way to L.A. He continued to say it to himself even as he felt meaningless tears prickle the back of his eyes. Angel had saved him from the horrible fate with Wood and The First. Angel was his family. Angel had always been there despite the fact that they had never particularly gotten along. Now, Angel was gone. The tears never fully came. Nor did Spike get a grip on what he was feeling. Shock, doubt, upset, and relief all in one. Angel couldn't have Buffy. Then there was the realization that Angel couldn't have anything anymore. Angel had saved him from quite possibly never having anything anymore himself. Angel couldn't prance around like a magnificent poof either. Yet, Angel still couldn't really be gone, because Spike never had that kind of luck. Angel was Angel, so therefore he couldn't die. The wheels continued to turn in his head over and over again to the point that even Dawn recognized a change in his mood, despite his being under a blanket. She left him to think and went to comfort Xander. The truth was there wasn't enough comfort in the world that could help that bus load of people tonight.

***************************************************

Sharp pain. Now, it was feeling almost hard to breathe. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Buffy untangled herself from Willow's hug and looked down at her wound. Her eyes lifted and then met Willow's, who seemed to share in the same amount of concern. There was a big and growing stain of blood on her shirt, where her wound was, and she was feeling woozy.

Bad. Woozy. Bad.

It had to be bad for her to be feeling woozy. That was the point of being a Slayer after all. She wasn't supposed to feel woozy this easily. It wasn't easily in this situation. She had been stabbed. Not just stabbed, but a mortal wound was what The First had called it. Not that you could trust the ultimate evil on medical diagnosis; regardless, her body was telling her that this was serious.

"Willow, something's wrong." Buffy stated weakly before clutching her wound with her hand.

Willow didn't hesitate to do the same. Pressure needed to be added to the wound, right? Pressure was important. Pressure kept the blood in. Blood in Buffy was good. A bleeding out Buffy led to no good after all. And no good was…well…no good.

"It's okay, Buffy. It's going to be okay." Willow's head turned sharply towards the front of the bus. "Hurry up! We have to get to hospital! Right now!"

Buffy laid her head back against the bus seat. "That's not very reassuring." Buffy didn't have the energy to smile and play it off as a joke. It wasn't a joke. Not really. She was in deep trouble. This was much worse than her run of the mill wounds that she got on patrol. Like the stake she had taken to the abdomen once, maybe. And back then she hadn't been low on blood already before the battle.

"No, don't worry. They just need to drive fast. When they drive faster we get there sooner. You can get healed up quicker and not feel so bad. You're the Slayer, Buffy. Or one of them now. You heal up nice and quick. I just want you healed." Willow spoke a little too quickly and a little too high-pitched. The concern in her eyes also wasn't doing anything for the case she was trying to make.

Buffy only nodded. She just needed to remember to breathe in and out. In and out. And in and out. Then she would be okay. If she just continued to breathe. That was when everything went dark for her.

Willow held her close frantically, tears streaming down her face now. She couldn't be strong. Not in this moment. Not with her friend dying. Hadn't enough people died? Not just today, but their whole lives. She had already lost Tara a year ago. She wasn't going to lose Buffy again. It wasn't like she could log onto Ebay and get the magics to bring her back once more. She knew better now. No, losing her wasn't an option! It couldn't be an option! Oh God, was Buffy going to die?

"Hurry!" Willow screamed.

Her continual pleas for them to speed up were heard throughout the bus, echoing in everyone's mind, fear of another loss tearing at their hearts.

"Hurry…!"