Chapter 17

Buffy woke up with a sinking feeling in her stomach. The choice, the only choice to make had been clear to her the night before. This didn't mean she had come upon the decision to allow Wood's life to be taken easily. Even so, Wood had known his fate if he pursued Spike, and, by doing so, he had signed his own death certificate.

It wasn't that simple.

No, of course it wasn't. Death never could be anything less than complicated, but Wood wasn't going to stop until either he or Spike was dead. This was the only simple truth that was a part of this situation. In the end, what Spike had done equaled to a sort of pre-emptive form of self-defense, if such a thing existed. After all, what Wood had inflicted on him down in the initiative was his second attempt at taking Spike's life. There'd be a third, a fourth, a fifth, and so on, assuming Spike didn't end it immediately after the third, which, Buffy was fairly certain he would, assuming it even got that far.

When it had been a time of war, she couldn't have this fight between Wood and Spike disrupting everyone. There was no room for revenge. Now, the war was over, the rules had changed. Yet, in this case, all it meant was that her reasons had changed, so she stood by her promise.

It had made sense to her last night.

In the morning, reality felt heavier. There was a responsibility placed on her shoulders she knew she should have expected. In a way, she had. She had told herself quietly that she wouldn't think of it; she wouldn't dwell. She'd simply go about her days feeling maybe even relief for Spike. Justice was done…no. She knew that wasn't true. "I am the law." This was more of a Faith belief, not to speak ill of the dead.

Was it really for her to have decided if Wood should die? If Spike had done it on his own, well, that would have been better. She could have forgiven him, it was a promise that she had made. Again, with the pre-emptive self-defense. In this case, the case of reality, she had delivered Wood on a silver platter. Stupid reality.

Last night it had to happen. This mess had to be dealt with before Wood had a chance to wrap up loose ends. Now, she couldn't help but wonder…Had she briefly lost her humanity? If only for a moment? And if she had…what did that mean?

Of course, she couldn't keep this from everyone. They expected to see Wood even if he didn't plan to stick around. After what they had all been through together, it'd be strange for him to never stop by. Strange or not, she didn't want to lie to her friends. She had done this in the past and for good reason. God knows, they weren't ready for Angel to be back in their lives after the Angelus incident. Whether just or not, her current situation was a far cry from the last time she was in a similar predicament. She had let a man's life be taken. She had to face that. She owed it to them, to herself, and even Wood. She didn't owe him much, but the truth about his death, well, everyone at least deserved that small courtesy.

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Her friends were surprisingly quiet. Buffy had expected something of an uproar when the truth got out. Instead, everyone appeared rather speechless and the silence was, as it turned out, eerie. She could handle yelling and challenging of her choice. After all, her own mind was giving her enough of a debate on the matter, but silence…she hadn't thought to prepare for silence.

"He would have kept coming for Spike." Buffy furthered her explanation.

"I'm fairly certain a vampire can do well enough defending himself against a human." Wesley stated somewhat bitterly.

"Oh, really? Because the last time I checked he had been held against his will and brutally tortured for a month." Buffy snapped.

"The First had a hand in that…" Willow gently reminded her.

Buffy sighed. "I'm aware of that. So? What? Spike constantly has to fight Wood off till he gets a new Big Bad best friend and then dusts him?"

"How do you know he would do that again?" Wesley questioned.

"How can we know that he wouldn't? I think doing it once is enough to assume he's capable of doing it a second time." Buffy glared. "He did it with The First. It doesn't get any worse than the almighty bad to be cozying up next to. Maybe he snapped. I'd say he did given the choices he made. Okay, so maybe with the finding sanity again he wouldn't make those choices a second time. But, I think all of us have seen by now that once you go down that dark path, it's only easier to do it again." Buffy paused. "Some of us might have experienced that for themselves."

"Okay, I get your point." Gunn spoke up. "I don't know this guy. You'll get no argument from me that what he did wasn't sick, but…he's human. We don't decide what humans die. We find another way."

"What other way was there? Tell me. What else could we have done? Called the police? Have a courtroom involved, get a trial over what Wood did, but suggest that it's a night court on account of the vampire survivor we have testifying." Buffy retorted sarcastically.

"We could have apprehended him ourselves." Willow suggested. "The council, when there was one, didn't they have prisons?"

"Had." Buffy pointed out. "That's all gone. By the time we established some system ourselves, God only knows what would have happened with Wood."

"Could of, would of, should of isn't going to make a difference." Xander sighed.

"He's right." Fred agreed. "We don't know, for sure, how any alternate choice could have gone."

"Fine. So what does this all mean then?" Gunn inquired. "Dude took a human life."

"No. He took his perpetrator's life. There's a difference." Buffy clarified.
¨

"Who was a human." Gunn started firmly.

"Whoa. What's going on here? I could feel all this tension from the street." Lorne made his way down the entrance steps.

"Spike killed a human." Gunn spat.

"It was his torturer." Buffy expressed exasperated.

Lorne shifted awkwardly. Why did he even ask? It was never anything lighthearted enough around here that you could chalk up to sexual tension. "Well, I came over as soon as I heard about Angelcakes. Lazarus rises from the dead…" Lorne laughed somewhat good naturedly.

Gunn and Buffy continued their glaring contest.

Lorne changed his tone. "I see I was late to the celebration then." He then muttered as he made his way across the side of the room, "Someone should have told me I'd need a sea breeze for this."

"Buffy, we're just concerned that, maybe, you're letting feelings you have for Spike cloud your judgment." Willow hesitantly stated.

"Did someone invite Giles into this conversation? Cause I thought he was still in England." Buffy lifted an eyebrow.

"No." Willow sounded disappointed. "And he was wrong about it then. Then. But now. Now. You let someone die."

"Is that not registering with you? It's a bit alarming that the vampire slayer doesn't seem to feel anything over that." Gunn declared intensely.

"Hey!" Xander yelled out. "Don't talk to her like that as if you know her. You don't know the heart this woman has in her!"

Buffy gave Xander an appreciative smile before fixing her angry gaze on Gunn. This was the final straw. She knew the anger was something that she had coming after what she had done the night before. She understood there would be bucket loads of contempt, but what he had just said, that crossed the line. "Don't you dare tell me what I do and don't feel. You have no idea what's going on in my head. Just because I don't wear my feelings for everyone to see doesn't mean I don't have any! But it doesn't change the fact of why I did what I did last night. I don't expect you to understand. I don't expect you to agree. I'm not playing judge, jury, and execution here. I just-"

"Really?" Gunn interjected. "You're not? Because it seems to be that, that's exactly what you did."

Buffy took a breath, collecting her thoughts carefully before answering. "This was an exception. One exception."

"Yeah? Well, someone once said to me that once you go down a dark path, it's easier to do it a second time."

Gunn's statement hung in the air, silence completely taking over the room. The weight of Buffy's own words reflecting too strongly back on her.

The ringing of the phone.

A second ring.

Buffy moved behind the desk, picking it up on its third.

"Hello." Buffy made her voice sound casual. "Oh…Great. Right…Right, well, we can't wait to see you…Okay. Bye."

Buffy stared out at everyone.

"Who was it?" Willow asked.

"Giles" Buffy responded quietly. "He's coming to town."

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Spike hadn't wanted to enter the fray of the lobby as they were discussing his handling of Wood as if it had been some kind of regular vampire attack that the Slayer should've been obligated to stop. What was the point? How could anyone hope to ever successfully reason with such morons who would take such a stance? Blessed be his dear Goldilocks for at least trying, though. She was absolutely right of course. Taking that monster out had been a necessity, and he wasn't ashamed to admit that it had felt damn good as well. To conquer his fears from down there in the caves, to take back control, to show that little, insignificant twit of a human who the real power player among them was. One more enemy down. The latest in a long line of creatures who had challenged him and come to regret it. It still held, what he had known to be true all these years, that no one could keep him down for long! His ambitions from the time locked up on that table down at the Initiative labs had come true. He was elatedly satisfied.

But of course, being Spike, he couldn't expect to keep his happiness for a long time. Giles was coming back! He did not like that. Not in the least bit. The last time Giles was there he had worked with Wood, then apparently called in the Council to keep up the torture that Wood had going in their own way. And when that failed, explicitly asked Buffy to stake him twice in one day. Why did he have to come back now, now that things were finally starting to work out a little better here? He quit eavesdropping, and turned up the stairs.

Angel stood by the stairway, arms folded, a scowl on his face. Spike figured Angel suspected that he was coming over to make another ghost comment, give him a hard time again. As appealing as the thought sounded, and as difficult as it normally was for him to resist, now wasn't the time. He wasn't in the mood. But hey, Angel was a vampire too, and one with a reputedly poor relationship with Giles. Maybe he'd understand? Or maybe not. Some times he felt like he didn't even know Angel anymore. with his soul now, and even working with a watcher himself. How on earth did that come about?

Spike stood by him silently for a few moments. He felt Angel's eyes fall on him at once, but as soon as they were there, they were gone. It was just as well, Angel not prompting him for an explanation as to why he was standing here of all places and next to him of all people. He wasn't sure how to say it to him yet. He just needed him to understand. They were both vampires. He had to get it. "Watchers" he said with a sigh. "How'd you come to work with Wesley?" Spike forced a nonchalant tone, though the fact that he'd show interest in something like this already had to have tipped his hand.

Angel shrugged as though he didn't suspect a thing. "We…Cordelia and I…just stumbled upon him. Did a case together and then he joined up."

Spike nodded. It sounded innocent enough. Maybe it was. Probably wasn't. Angel had to have some suspicions and hesitations working with someone who had once been under the black and white thinking of the council. He was a vampire. He should know it.

"Why?" Angel asked, giving Spike the invitation to follow his question up. He was a bit curious, he had to admit. He hadn't seen Spike and Wesley interact once after all. Spike's interest in him seemed a bit random. Honestly, he was bored too. A non-ghost meant all he could do was watch, having someone to talk to would give something to do, even if that someone was Spike.

"Just found it interestin' is all. A vampire workin' with a watcher." Spike commented.
"You worked with Giles." Angel pointed out.

"Yeah, but I made him pay me." Spike snorted. "For a while. Anyway, you see how well that turned out. Bloke teamed up with Wood to try and do me in."

Angel turned toward him, a feeling of bitter anger rising. "Giles was in on what happened to you?" How had he never heard about this before? Did this come out when he had been dust? Did the others know?

"Not…not the last time. Before that. Wood tried dustin' me. Just fightin'. Straight up. I was stupid enough to let him go afterwards. Giles distracted Buffy when it was goin' on." Spike explained. He didn't want to relate his suspicions about the Council, and Giles' possible involvement there. He didn't want Angel to get too involved in this. He could take care of his own nasty business, without ending up owing his pouncy grand sire any debt of gratitude.

He still had a need for a good rant though. "And now he's coming back. Can't say that pleases me one bit. Buggering Watcher. I'm sick of him. Sick of the lot of them.

Angel furred his brow. So, this was the true nature of Spike's questioning, the reason for him swaggering over in the first place. There was tension rolling off him and if Giles had been part of a recent attack, with Wood of all people, it made sense that he'd be suspicious now.

Paranoid even.

"They're still people. Give them enough reason and they come around. Especially when you have a soul." Angel explained. "They have their own way of reasoning, but they usually mean well. When Giles was distracting Buffy, I can imagine he might have had some notion that he was doing it for her own good, because it's not good for her to have beloved vampires around?" Spike scowled at him, and Angel nodded knowingly. "It will pass. They have their rigid views of right and wrong, but watchers can change, and forego these notions if you just get the stick out of their ass" Spike gave him a highly doubtful glare. "It's true! You asked me about Wesley, and how we got together. Now, before that, while he was Buffy's Watcher, we had this difference of opinion on how to handle a problem with Faith, which ended up with him calling in a whole team of council guys, to come at me all at once and lock me up in a net on the floor. Very unpleasant. But now, Wes is among my loyal friends." He looked into Spike's disturbed face after this story and smiled. "Giles will get there eventually he too. He might just need a little more work."

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It hadn't been too long since he had stood in the foyer of the Hyperion Hotel. Only then he had been on his way out rather than coming in. And saying goodbye to Buffy. Now he couldn't wait to see her. He needed to be more involved. He couldn't drop the ball the way he had when making the last poor choice to leave. This time leaving couldn't be avoided. It had to be done. This new world of Slayers needed to have structure. Systems were what made the world go round. He was a friend of organization and though creating something this grand-scale from what felt like scratch, after all the last council model didn't have much in the way of ideals he wanted to salvage, was a trying feat. It would be worth it in the end. This was what he kept telling himself. With the amount of Slayers that needed training, and the new, more active role, watchers needed to take, he knew it to be the truth. A harsh truth given those it kept him from, but the truth nevertheless. Still, he had made a promise to himself to keep a closer eye on how his slayer was doing from now on, and it was a promise he intended to honor.

Regardless of the circumstance, and how none too long ago his last departure had been, he was still greeted with enthusiasm and warmth. Buffy smiled up at him, "Welcome back! It's so good to have you home again."

"I must say, I feel more at home with all you then I do in my own home town at this point." Giles smiled somewhat amused.

"But I'm sure you miss England. All the other Gileses getting together. Talking about those Bloody Americans butchering the Queen's English." Willow added in a chipper manner.

"Quite." Giles agreed. "Give me a few minutes with you all and I'm sure I'll be ready to purchase my return ticket at once."

"So, how is England? How's your newest Giles doing? Andrew giving you a migraine yet?" Buffy inquired amused.

"Several." Giles admitted. "But he's actually showing some…some real promise."

Buffy snorted in disbelief. "No."

"No. It's true. He's very…very enthusiastic." Giles commented choosing his words carefully.

"Well, that's not hard to believe." Willow added.

"Yes. Well. He's eager to learn. Maybe a little too eager. But, the girls get along with him. They're trusting him. Something of a similar age group, I'm sure." Giles explained.

"I doubt you came to give us an update on Andrew." Buffy smirked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but last time you came into town there was another apocalypse."

Giles smirked. "It's nothing like that this time. I just came in, because I had some free time. I wanted to check in."

Buffy seemed surprised by that news, pleasantly so. A new and improved Giles? She knew given her choices of friends and lovers it wasn't always smooth sailing with him. It probably wouldn't be while he was in town, but he was here, apparently in her corner. He was Giles and she was always glad to see him, no matter what storm was bound to come of it.

And…speaking of storms…Buffy eyed Hurricane Angel as he floated out of his office.
He stood behind the desk overseeing the scene before him, making no movement to come any closer. He wasn't afraid. He was more dead than usual. Still, it seemed as though he was testing the waters, probably out of respect before diving in.

Then, there was Spike, who Buffy noticed seemed to not be anywhere around. Buffy figured he couldn't be bothered with the likes of Giles. Talk about your two opposite vampire personalities…

"Angel." Giles noted. He figured it would have come off rather childish had he not made an acknowledgement. He had sacrificed himself for the sake of the world after all, and was now miraculously back.

"Giles." Angel responded, moving from around the counter now, but not walking too close. Vampires weren't Giles' favorite thing. He had known that already. He had gotten another taste of it when his tortured grand-childe had lain cradled in his arms. Yet, he knew he held a great bit of responsibility for this disdain that rolled off the civilized man. So, he was patient with him.

"Well, I suppose the world owes a bit of debt to you. For what you did." Giles tried to speak in a light tone.

Tried.

It came out forced, but the effort was noted.

Angel waved it off. "It's what I do."

"Yes. So I've heard." Giles commented. "So, I hear you all have your own latest troubles you've taken on."

"Lindsay worked for Wolfram & Hart. Or maybe not. Probably not. Agenda against Angel anyhow. And so on. We're trying to find him." Buffy quickly explained. She knew the minute she mentioned Angel's name she'd lose Giles interest.

She wasn't wrong.

"I see. I see." Giles eyes glazed over a bit, clearly not there anymore, lost in thought. "Well, if I can help."

Buffy simply nodded. "We'll let you know. Well, if you want to get settled, no one has taken your old room."

"Splendid." Giles grabbed his suitcase. "I'll just get unpacked then."

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The excitement of Giles return had died down. The hotel usual quiet nature had taken over once again, which was surprising for how many people were now living here. Everyone had things to do, jobs to take care of. When they weren't working they were out or off in their own rooms, or Xander was lurking about with a petition to turn part of the lounge into a game room.

For Spike, he remained tense and lurking. The story Angel had told him about Wesley was haunting him. He had called in the council, and had Angel captured alive. It matched pretty well with the impression he had had of him when they had interacted. His technical interest in his soul, the way he looked at him as an interesting speciemen rather than a person, the very fact that he was brought up in the Council system, with the very guys who had made it very clear that they didn't mind at all what he had gone through down in the caves, and would like to repeat it if they could. He felt his whole body speed up at the thought. How easy it would be for Wesley to make another such call to them, tell them to come and pick him up, and lock him down in some sterile operating room, where they would keep him alive forever, just to see how many ways they could find to torment him.

He made his way down to the lobby, his antsy legs not allowing him to remain still for too long. He thought about going for a walk outside, but then, the last time he had stepped outside when no one seemed to be around, he hadn't gotten back inside the house for a month. Well, actually, not the last time. The last time he had ended Wood's life…so… perhaps going out for a walk wasn't such a bad idea after all?

Spike stopped in his tracks, Wesley rounding his way around the counter, opening his book before him. He had set up shop, studying whatever bollocks to fill the night, much preferred to actually having a life apparently. So, Spike kept an eye on him from the stairs, wary of what to do. Especially when Wesley took up a phone and dialed a number. He felt his whole system tense up at the sight.

That's it! He strode forward and stood over the Watcher, asking pointedly "who are you calling?" Wesley looked up in surprise, not having noticed that someone was coming. "Oh, hey Spike. It's just some people back in England. Giles asked me to check up on them, how their Council work is going now that he's here." Nooo! Spike could feel his fangs coming forth without even making a conscious effort for it. His eyes flashed amber, and he dived forward, making a grab for the phone in Wesley's hand. "What the hell..." Wesley looked back, in a completely baffled way, and tried to pull back his hand. Spike held on to it, twisted it around, and up Wesley's back, so forcefully that he could hear the phone clinking to the floor, a loud bone-breaking crack of the arm, and a piercing scream. He didn't care. He was caught up in the moment, and felt the old, familiar bloodrush cursing through him, like an electric current. "Oh no, you don't" he sneered at Wesley, who was trying to weasel his way out of his grip. He twisted his neck into position, and went at it, drinking deep.

And then, when he was just starting to feel his foe go limp and pale in his grip, and were just starting to feel the taste of victory, he froze up. There was this shockwave going though him, and then he couldn't move a muscle. As deeply buried in Wesley's neck as he was, it was hard to see what was going on. But he could smell Willow right behind him. Bugger! A spell then. And now the others were coming too. whole bunch of them, to watch the show. Just like them.

"We need to call an ambulance!" He heard Buffy's voice.

"Already on it!" Willow's own voice filled the air.

Spike snarled inside. Buffy had allowed for justice once before. Surprising him. Now, it seemed she had shifted gears yet again. He never could fully come to predict her. He could understand her better than she used to care for, but predict her, that was an entirely different animal.

"What the blood hell is going on down here?" Giles' angry, booming voice sounded. His eyes of fury than laid on the scene: Wesley standing rigid on the floor, locked in Spike's grip, with his fangs deep into his neck. Giles immediately went for the weapon's cabinet. He had been good about her nursing him back to health. He had been good about seeing Angel back here, her life crawling with vampires, but this was too far. When vampires act like vampires there's only one way to respond.

"Giles don't!" Buffy's voice called out.

Giles stopped short of reaching for a weapon, settling for taking the rigid Spike&Wesley package down to the floor, and starting to make attempts at getting them disentangled. He glanced down at Spike, his amber eyes glaring at him, and Giles, for a moment, was sure that he was being stared at with primal animosity.

Then, for Spike, things went black. Buffy stood over him, knocking her boot against his head, putting him out as she had done once before when The First had taken control over him.

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"Good idea" Willow smiled approvingly at Buffy. "I would have to lift the spell soon anyway, since it makes him so rigid it would be difficult to pry him apart from Wesley." Give it to Willow, to always have the pragmatic, matter-of-fact view on every situation. Herself, Buffy wasn't quite there yet. She watched from a place somewhat besides herself, while the others got Wesley free of Spike's grip, and helped him to the door to wait for the ambulance.

Several pairs of eyes fixed accusingly on Buffy. Giles, surprisingly, and then not surprisingly at all, appeared the most angered by the latest events. Gunn had known Wesley for years. He had worked with him, probably risking their lives for each other on more than one occasion. But Wesley was also a fellow Watcher. One of Giles's own.

"I knew this was going to happen." Gunn started off what Buffy was sure would only be their latest battle.

Buffy didn't respond to it though. Could she have a defense? Wood was one thing, nothing to be proud of, but that was a complicated situation. Wesley…he had nothing to do with this. Why Wesley?

"You let a dog off its leash and it's not just going to stop at chasing one puppy." Gunn continued.

"He's not an animal." Buffy stated evenly.

"Oh no? Because the bite marks in my friend's neck say otherwise!" Gunn yelled.

"Alright! Enough!" Giles put his hands up, catching the shouting match before it really began. "Now. I think it's clear what needs to be done."

"There's nothing clear about this situation!" Buffy spoke more aggressively. They were all tired, all worn down from this endless rollercoaster they couldn't seem to get off. Maybe it was a carousel, around and around it goes, or a Ferris Wheel, up and down and up and down. Regardless, she was nauseous, tired, and just wanted this mess to go away. They all did. Still, when it mattered, regardless of how they were feeling, they suddenly found the nonexistent energy to fight one another, keeping these carnival rides from ever ending.

"Buffy, I'm worried. "Giles stated with surprising calm. "I'm worried about you. Especially after you just recently allowed for a human life to be taken." "Old news, Giles." Buffy stated more short tempered than she liked, but how many times did she have to rehash this? She had never wanted Giles to learn about the Woo debacle in the first place. But of course someone had to tell him. "Well, it has reached a rather new level of relevance now, hasn't it?" Giles replied crisply, giving a pointed stare to the lump of defeated vampire on the floor.

There was another life at stake here too. She had to stand her ground, for Spike's sake. "Yes, what he has done to Wesley is horrible. It's vampiric. But he's not just another vampire any more. He's got a soul now. That makes him one of us. And when one of us go down the dark side, we don't kill them. We try to fix the problem." She gave the gang a pleading look, from one to the other. Willow was the one to step forward.

"She's right, you know. Remember when I tried to kill you all last summer? It could've ended the world, but you still went for only necessary fights and containment and not killing. Spike has been through a lot..." "and proven himself as a dangerous, bloodthirsty demon!" Gunn interjected. "He's gone off the bend. No doubt." Willow answered him calmly. "But then we need to get him unbended." Buffy looked at her best friend with warm gratitude.

Giles took in the whole scene, felt his slayer's pain, and decided to yield once more. "Ok, so no vampire slaying, at this point. We give "project redemption" one more chance. But he's in a way too unbalanced state of mind to be walking around the hotel at this point. Xander, you can set up a secure chain, like you did in Buffy's basement, the last time we had the rouge Spike problem, right?" "Yeah" Xander muttered, after having kept an unusual low profile for the rest of this debacle. "Not that the one I set up then was very secure, but..." "No!" Buffy yelled. "I know it's not unreasonable, but no, we can't do it that way. That is the root cause of his unbalance. He was chained to a torture table for a month. And in a cave with the First for like two weeks shortly before that. Plus, as Xander pointed out, the chains he made was not secure enough to keep the Bringers from abducting him, only to keep him from efficiently fighting them. Chains may have been a good option before, but I don't think it is anymore. It would only increase his paranoia and make him more dangerous in the future."

She could feel the others about to unleash a torrent of protests again, but luckily, Willow came to her aid this time too. "I might know a spell that might solve this. The freeze spell has too short expiration time to be any good here, but I'm thinking I could try to twirk the vampire barrier spell, so that it, instead of keeping a vampire from entering a home, can keep him from exiting instead. And then we'd set it up in one of the rooms here, and keep him in there for a while, with no retraumatizing chains involved." Buffy could've hugged her right then and there. The others mumbled their grumbling consent. Though, she suspected, probably because they were too tired to argue any more.

Dawn had stood frozen through this whole situation playing out. She saw the others move around her like in a dream. A bad dream. She struggled to make sense to the scene in front of her. Spike in game face, and his fangs deep into Wesley. Why? Why Wes? She knew Spike had a lot going on with him lately, probably too much on his mind to keep track of it, but it had to be pretty bad for him to go back into his old unsouled ways of attacking an innocent. And she couldn't think of any sensible scenario where Wes should have had cause to provoke Spike into it either. It seemed so out of the blue. Her head hurt. She had finally dared to believe that Spike was good again, like she had allowed herself to believe when she was younger. She had allowed herself to like him again. Was that misguided? Were the warnings she had received so many of over the years still valid? Was he still dangerous?

"Hmm" Willow mused. "The spell draws energy from the exclusivity of a home. Though in this case, we might want to use the inclusiveness and attraction of home instead. So we should use the most homey, and warmly shared, room in the hotel." "We can use mine." Buffy offered. "I've been stockpiling pillows and decorating it so much lately that it should be homier than most. And" she smiled sorely, "I want him to be there so deeply that that ought to fuel the spell all on it's own, right?" "It should" Willow smiled back at her. So, they carried Spike into her bed, careful not to stir him, Willow reluctant to use another freeze spell, since it would drain her too much for her to be able to set up the barrier properly afterwards. Then Willow went to work on her revised spell, and put the barrier up. Though she conceded to Buffy, now that they were alone, that she wasn't all certain about this, since she had never done the spell this way before, and a hotel room, how homey it might be, still wasn't a proper home, and thus might not give the same fuel to the spell as the threshold to a real home would.

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Buffy stood in the hallway outside of Spike's room, the spell performed, as Spike woke up and learned what they had done. She had expected him to bang against the invisible barrier, which he had done, and curse at them all in British, which he had also done. Still, it was only for a few moments. He had gone silent fast, a look of betrayal on his face as he gazed at her, and that look had stayed with her. It only grew stronger and stronger with every passing second. She hadn't been the one to rip out a chunk of an innocent man's neck! Yet, she was the one who betrayed him? How dare he give her a look like that! After everything she had done for him! Okay, so maybe she hadn't been perfect in helping him, but she had tried, and she had been there for him above and beyond what anyone else would ever be willing to do! No, he had betrayed her! In doing what he had done. He had betrayed her!

Within a moment, she pushed through the open door angrily, her emerald eyes shooting death rays at him. Spike stared at her from where he had begun pacing.

"What were you thinking?" Buffy inquired with an angry shout.

"What was I thinkin'? What are you thinkin'?" Spike snapped back. "You were supposed to be on my side!"

"Yeah, I'm on your side when you're not killing innocent people." Buffy continued to shout. "Wesley had nothing to do with this! He hadn't even met you before you came here!"

"Don't you see-"

"You know what! I don't see." Buffy interjected. She wasn't going to listen to him prattle on. They had killed someone. Spike might have done the deed, but they were both in on that together. They were both equally responsible and for what? So he could go and do it again? To someone who had no connection to this whatsoever? "You can't just go around biting people, because you feel like it! You can't just go around biting people, because you think there's some reason to do it. You didn't even talk to me! You just acted! You acted without a care in the world and you still don't get it! You still think it's okay! What you did! When you could have killed him! You're acting…you're acting like nothing more than a vampire!"

"I bloody well am a vampire!" Spike yelled.

Damn her! If only Buffy's reactions had been easy to predict, his unlife would be so much easier. She had stood by him so stunningly much lately. Watched him like a hawk to make sure he didn't kill himself, even arranged for and approved of his killing of Wood. And now, she was on the side of those who wanted him dead, or worse? Or, obeying them, at the very least. Yeah, he knew what he had done weren't nice, but he had hoped she would at least listen to him, seen his side of things. Too much to ask apparently.

She said to stay there, that the door was magically sealed and that he would not be accepted outside until the others could trust him again. Then she left. He wanted to obey her. He really did. Wait till she had calmed down and was ready to listen, talk, hope to make things up with her again. To make her see. But it was that thing she had said that the door was magically sealed. He walked up to it, touched it, and felt the familiar barrier of a house he was not invited into - and a rising surge of panic. The walls of the room were closing in on him. He was trapped, dizzy - and suddenly back on the Initiative table, chained up, exposed, tortured. He started sweating and shaking, his head swam, he couldn't breathe. He had to get out of there!

He threw himself at the barrier with all the desperation of a drowning man. Felt it out for weaknesses, aimed at the weakest spots, throwing all his might into it. And got out. Tumbled through the hallway and ended up flat on his stomach, panting heavily and feeling his head clear up a little. It was Giles' fault. All of this. It had to be. Giles had had it in for him ever since Sunnydale. Buffy had grown more and more supportive in his absence, but now that he was back ... He couldn't allow this to continue. He had decided only recently that he actually wanted to live through this debacle. If he really were gonna live, it seemed Giles could not.