AN- If you guys can't tell, I've updated this fic to be a series of one-shots centering around Beth and Daryl in their winter cabin. They can be read on their own but probably work best together. I'm trying to update every day (or almost every day) based on the tumblr prompts for the 12 days of Bethyl. Hope you enjoy! Please review!
A Temporary Peace (Peace prompt)
There were few times in Daryl's life that he could describe as genuinely peaceful. As a child, peace meant his parents being passed out or just completely absent. It meant a momentary respite from fear and abuse, physical or mental. Peace, at that time, just meant temporary safety. As a young adult, peace meant one of Merle's rare good moods would allow Daryl to briefly slow down, but even then he remained on edge, waiting for the next problem arise (which it always did). Most of Daryl's more serene moments came after the world changed. When he no longer had to hide that every day was just a battle to survive, a battle to move forward. Before the walkers arrived, most people didn't understand that, but now the survivors had to.
Finally, sitting by the fire, with Beth once again leaning her head against his shoulder in a search for warmth, Daryl knew real peace. The walkers were a minimal threat to the cabin with the snow built up outside. No other people, friendly or unfriendly, had come across their path. It was just him and Beth, alone. For the first time in his life, Daryl knew someone understood him, or at least wanted to understand him. She accepted him, flaws and all, and he didn't even have to work to accept her, she was already perfect.
Daryl's peaceful feeling was only interrupted when he became aware of the continuous tingling in his palm. Last night, Beth had offered her hands to be warmed up by his, but she hadn't offered the same tonight. Now her hands sat firmly at the base of her flannel shirt, playing anxiously with its worn edges as if trying to pull an answer out of the threads.
Daryl's mind raced to figure out what he had done wrong. Had he said something? Not said something? Was she worried about Maggie again? Was she upset he didn't ask about Maggie or Glenn? Should he have offered to clean the dishes when she grabbed the plates after dinner or let her skin the rabbit after they went hunting?
Finally, sick of questioning himself, Daryl grabbed Beth's closest hand, holding it firmly in his. "Stop fidgeting," he said gruffly, "It was so damn peaceful in here."
Beth picked her head up in shock, a rush of pink flooding her cheeks before she looked back down at her lap. But Daryl noticed she didn't pull her hand away, rather she closed her fingers around his thumb, allowing their hands to rest together on her thigh. After a moment, she returned her head to his shoulder, releasing a long exhale.
"Ya ever feel guilty we get this?" She asked. She didn't sound upset, but rather genuinely curious. As if his opinion on the question really mattered to her.
Daryl didn't have an answer immediately, at least not one he wanted to share. At that moment, he didn't feel guilty, but he knew Beth probably did.
"Ya know? There are other people out there, probably struggling, just tryin to make it to mornin? And here we are, sittin by a fire, stomachs full o' rabbit. Just relaxing together, like we're a…" Beth paused, searching for the next word, "Just like some friends on vacation or sumthin."
"Hm." Daryl grunted. Trying to come up with a comment that would make her feel better. Sure, it wasn't fair. But he had learned early on, life ain't fair.
"Guess I finally got my vacation." He muttered. "can't use that next time we play yer damn drinkin game."
Beth picked her head up again, looking Daryl in the eye. Suddenly, his shoulder felt exposed, cold. "I mean it. There are people, my sister could be one of them, Rick could be one of them, just struggling to survive the night. Should we feel bad? Should we be doin more?"
"No." He answered a little too quickly. Beth looked a taken aback at his immediate response, but she did not speak, she gave him time to expand. She always gave him time to explain, even when he didn't want to.
"Everyone runs at some point." He continued, watching her reaction carefully, "This cabin won't last forever, we both know that. I think you gotta enjoy what ya have, when ya have it. If someone needs help, we help them. But until then, we enjoy… we enjoy this."
After a moment, Beth just gave him a content smile, as if pleased with his response.
"So." Beth started, looking over to the unmade bed and taking her hand away from Daryl's to push loose hair behind her ears, "Who gets first watch tonight?"
Daryl didn't hesitate to respond. He had known the question was coming; it did every night. "I'm wiped. Makin damn snow angels took a lot outta me."
"Then I'll stay-" Beth began to offer.
"Nah," he interrupted. "I figure we can both get a full night's rest for once. Haven't heard nothin all day. Snow's fallin again. Those slow walkers ain't getting through the boarded windows tonight. We're good."
To Daryl's surprise, Beth immediately nodded in agreement, as if she had been thinking the same thing. "Well then, I call the good pillow." She said, her tone serious but her lips curling into a smirk.
Daryl shrugged, "Don't matter to me, long as you don't snore." And it didn't matter. Daryl knew, even without a pillow, he would get the most peaceful rest of his life.