I am so sorry. I know none of you thought that I really kill him but I did. I had to. And suddenly everything makes so much more sense. Doesn't it?

Some weeks later

It was the middle of the night and Murphy was lying on his bed, not able to sleep. His thoughts wandering to the men next door, who was also alone but didn't want to see anyone and they haven't spoken since the funeral.
Murphy always tried to reach him in his mind, to tell him he is there and that he would care for him. He crossed his arms behind his back and closed his eyes. Life was fuckin' hard without Connor. Everyone was tiptoeing around both of them and everyone missed Connor, but they missed Daryl more. Especially Rick.
Murphy had tried to reach Daryl to tell him that he had promised but Daryl didn't even look at him, when he entered the room. But giving up wasn't something Murphy was good at. He stood up and went to the other room. Daryl was lying on his side, his face turned to the window. Murphy kneeled in front of him and Daryl looked at him, his eyes filled with tears. Murphy wiped them away and grabbed the hunters hand. "I'm sorry", Daryl mumbled.
"I kno'." The hunter moved a bit making room for Murphy to lie beside him and Murphy instantly pulled Daryl closer and threw his arms around him. "I'm here for yeh."
Daryl nodded and pressed Murphy to his body. "I can't handle this. I miss him", Daryl spoke.
"I know. I miss him, too. We have each other. We have the group."
Daryl fell silent because it wasn't the same. He felt empty and dead inside. There was nothing left to live for. He was thankful for having Murphy and the group but all he wanted was to be with Connor. The thought of killing himself had been on his mind a several times but then there was this feeling that it would be wrong and pointless because Connor wasn't there anymore. At least they had found the cure, even if it was days too late. Murphy had told him and they were treating everyone with it. The doctor had given him the injection and Murphy had stayed in the room to make sure he wouldn't get sick of it, like Beth and Maggie did. Murphy was kissing his forehead and playing with his hair and Daryl closed his eyes, pretending it was Connor doing this. But even pretending would never feel the same.
It was just Murphy.
That fuckin' twin brother.
Part of him wished it would have been Murphy that died.
But the other part was getting angry at himself for the thought alone. He had lost count of the days and he had lost his appetite, his will to fight. The ring on his finger wasn't staying in place anymore because he had lost weight. One day Carol had brought him a necklace and had put the ring on it and had put it around his neck. It was long enough to rest on his heart.
Murphy was holding him and the gentle touch of his hands made Daryl feel how tired he was and how bad he wanted to sleep. Murphy's breathing was steady and calming and soon Daryl found himself snoring and falling into a deep sleep.
Murphy stayed at Daryl's side, giving him what he needed the most: Someone to hold on to. Someone that would give him the feeling of being loved.

6 month later

It was the first ship that sailed to Europe and Murphy needed to go back home. He had tried to convince Daryl to join him and start new. But Daryl was only a shadow, a shell, a ghost. He was not dead but he wasn't alive either. Ever since Connor died Daryl was only lying on the bed, waiting for death. Murphy had grieved, for weeks he had been next to Daryl, hugging him, crying, while Daryl just looked empty. His eyes staring out of the window, as if he was waiting. Sometimes he turned around when someone entered the room, just to look who it was. Murphy always thought he was waiting for Connor. One night Murphy had allowed himself to open the little link he knew was there to reach Daryl. They were soulmates after all and he had tried to connect with him but Daryl seemed to block everything out. It had felt as if Murphy was rejected. Connor had never done that to him. Murphy missed his twin and he was still not over the fact that he wasn't by his side anymore. Sometimes he believed he could still feel him. But as much as him and the others tried to move on and motivate Daryl to stand up again, it hadn't worked. Sometimes he was gone hunting, sometimes they found him on the street, looking in every direction. It was horrible. Every day someone else was keeping watch at his bed. They had all tried to talk to him, help him change clothes and help him eat. Murphy was the only one he would look at sometimes. As if he was searching for something in his eyes. Searching for Connor. And it broke Murphy's heart more and more.
Some nights Murphy had heard him cry and it made him sad and angry. He not only lost his twin but his best friend, his new brother, Daryl, at the same time. Now he really was the oldest and he was alone. That's why he decided to leave.
They were standing at the docks in silence. Daryl was looking at the sea and the big ship that would bring Murphy back to Ireland. Murphy looked at them. "Well, think this is goodbye then."
His heart ached because he was leaving Daryl and his new family behind. Each of them had grown on him over the past year.
"Murphy, come back whenever you want. Me, Carl, Michonne and Judith will go back to Atlanta. I want to help rebuilding my hometown", Rick said and opened his arms to embrace the irishman. Murphy thanked him and kissed both of his cheeks. Everyone wished him goodbye and when Murphy turned his face to Daryl, he was still staring at the ship. The older one stepped forward and placed himself in front of Daryl and put his arms around him. Very slowly Daryl hugged him back and nestled his face in the crook of Murphy's neck. Latter kissed the hunters hair and started stroking his back. Murphy felt his own heart breaking because he would miss Daryl. More than he should.
He whispered: "I will miss yeh Daryl. Please come with me or come with the next ship. I love yeh."
Daryl responded by pressing Murphy closer to his body. Daryl would miss him, too but he couldn't speak. Speaking hurt too much. "I left yeh a letter lil' bro. It's on yer nightstand. Read it."
Daryl nodded and very quietly voiced: "Don't go."
Murphy felt tears falling from his eyes and he nearly agreed but he knew he had to go to find his own life, his own heart, his soulmate. He had already found him once and now his other half had to find him. Connor left such a big hole inside of his soul that he was aching to replace that emptiness with something new.
"I have to go. Yeh can always come to me. See where we lived. See where yeh should have been with us. I know I can't replace him. No one can. But I would try."
Daryl shook his head, not because he didn't want to go with Murphy but because he was afraid. Afraid of the memories of Connor. Afraid of seeing this landscape he used to see in his dreams as a kid. Everything that kept him alive was now everything that made him feel dead inside. He was losing Murphy, too. Daryl let go of him, kissed his forehead and then shook his head. "I can't. Goodbye little Leprechaun." One single tear left Daryl's eyes, which made Murphy step back and his inside felt like little needles were pinching him everywhere. Slowly making his heart, soul and body bleed. The pain was killing him but he had to go. He turned around and walked towards the ship. "Murphy", Rick called after him.
"Yeah?"
Rick approached, hugged him again and said: "I will watch after him and when the time seems right I will tell him. The secret you shared with me all those month back."
Murphy's eyes wandered to Daryl and back to Rick. "Maybe this day will never come. But if it does, make sure he knows where to find me. Thank yeh Rick. Thank yeh for everything, brother." They pressed each other closer and then Murphy let go, looked at all of them and said: "May you know nothing but happiness from this day forward."
"Good Luck", Carol yelled.
Murphy locked eyes with Daryl for one last time before turning around and stepping onto the ship. A man asked him for his name and where he wanted to go. He wrote it down on paper and then Murphy was allowed to step on board. It was hard to put one foot before the other but he knew he had to. Because if he would look at them again he might change his mind. Murphy went straight to the cabin that the man had told him was his. He threw the bag with some stuff they had gathered for him under his cot and sat down. He pressed his palms into his eyes and tried to calm himself. Daryl's bracelet still around his wrist. He had never taken it off. Murphy was going back to Ireland and he was excited and sad at the same time. Would he really find what he was searching for? What would Connor say, if he would still be with him? Murphy shook his head, no, if Connor would still be with him, they wouldn't leave for Ireland right now. They would help their people built new homes and then leave together, with Daryl. Now they were separated for eternity. Connor was with god now, while Daryl and him were still here. Breathing, walking but not living. How can you live when half of your soul is missing? Connor was with him all his life, Daryl just a bit over a year and yet losing Daryl, just hurt as much as when they lost Connor. Murphy wanted to wake up from this nightmare. He was alone. All alone now. And he probably would be forever.

Daryl was still standing and staring at the sea when the ship was only one little spot in the distance. Murphy was gone. He could feel the wind brushing over his face, the cold was creeping up his legs and inside his body. He was staring because he hoped the ship would turn around and would bring Murphy back. He would never admit it but without Murphy he didn't know how to survive. Daryl didn't even feel how his knees gave in and as he was sinking down to the ground, he grabbed to his chest grabbing the ring that was hanging around his neck. He wished it was a rosary. They had lost it in their fight, when they lost Connor, too. Daryl was sure that it was his fault that he died. As always everything was his fault. Now he made Murphy leave because he was so sad.
Daryl felt two arms under his body and he knew someone was carrying him to the car. He didn't care anymore. He had never given up, not when his father raped him and abused him. Not when he got shot, injured, beaten. Never, but losing Connor had left him with nothing but emptiness, with longing, with sadness. Those fucking monsters had taken his man away, his heart. The only thing he could blame himself for was Murphy leaving. Daryl had taken him for granted the last month and now he was proven wrong. Nothing in this life was for granted and nobody would stay at his side forever.
Why would they?
He was just a stupid redneck.

Nobody. Nothing.

All my new works can only be found on AO3. Same name.