15
I woke up in a car in the driver's seat. I was stiff from sitting up and my eyes were crusted over with sleep. When I could see properly I noticed this was my uncle's car and on the steering wheel was a note with a golden feather tangled with it. I opened it up to read, "Satine, I need you to run for me and from me. This all my fault; that you were found, that your uncle and brother are dead. All of it. It was too hard for me to make that clear face to face and I can't even begin to apologize but for now I need you to run. In the glove-box there is enough money to get you food and a credit card for you to book a room. Drive as far as you can for as long as you can. I will do everything I can to keep you safe, that I swear."
My eyes teared up heavily from reading his note. I didn't put it together before but it was his fault that my family was dead, just as much as it was my own. And I knew whatever he was afraid of was big enough to take me out.
I slammed my hands on the wheel, I was pissed, beyond angry. I wished he'd never shown himself to me. He told me he loved me but he'd let me destroy what was left of my family. And knowing that I'd draw out Nora, he turned his back on me. I was almost dead because of him and even the Winchesters at risk, all because he needed to leave me. That wasn't fair, not to me, Castiel, the brothers, anyone.
I wiped my eyes and put the car in gear and headed off like he'd said, going as fast as I could to get away. It was in the middle of the night I kept going in fear of what was out there. Demons, angels, they were all trouble.
I went through the night heading northwest and only stopped for gas. I couldn't eat I was so upset. Once I made it to Georgia I finally stopped to rest. I'd been on the road for a day and half without stopping to rest and I just couldn't do it anymore, but I was so afraid to stop. I pulled into a gas station just outside of a town to fill the tank. I almost started to pass out standing up at the pump, but the sound of footsteps drew me back and hurried me along.
I had just paid when I turned around and bumped into a tall man in a black hood.
"Excuse me," I muttered and tried to get around him.
"Satine, you need to stop."
"Who are you?" I turned and barked. "What do you want?"
His face was impassive while he eyed me. "You cannot keep going like this. You will get yourself killed."
"What are you?" I growled as he came closer. I had nothing to fight with and he wasn't answering me. When he got too close I jumped into the car and sped away, leaving tire tracks behind.
I was breathing heavily but my eyes were getting heavy quickly. Soon I could feel myself slipping away as the road started to get fuzzy and the passing headlights became nothing more than stars.
It was dark when I opened my eyes again did I feel somewhat rested. I looked ahead and saw a white ceiling with few dust-webs hanging in the corners of the room. I sat up quickly remembering I had been in my car when I saw the man again. He was sitting on another bed beside the one I was on. It was still dark out but I could tell in the soft moonlight that I was in a motel with this stranger starring at the window without his hood on. I cursed Gabriel silently at the fact that he gave me nothing to fight with. I was screwed.
"Who are you?" I sat up and demanded. The man turned quickly and looked at me in the darkness.
"You should sleep. You have much further to travel yet." That was not the answer I wanted so I got up and headed for the door, but as I reached for the knob something stood in my way.
"What do you want?" I growled, looking at him through the corner of my eye, backing up only slightly. I was sick of being afraid. This man should be afraid of me, I told myself. Being around me will only get him killed.
"How did I get here?" I tried something else.
"You were about to drive off the road when I found you."
"How did you find me and what are you?" I demanded again with a growl.
"Stop," he put his hand up to me as if to shake off my aggression. "I am here to help you. My name is Gadreel. I'm an angel."
"Nope," I tried for the door again and this time was able to get to the car.
"Wait,"
"No, no more angels!"
"I was sent to keep you safe." He tired behind me.
"You can't." I shot behind me as I felt my pockets for my keys, but I couldn't find them anywhere. Then I could hear a jingle behind me. I turned and could see the outline of my keys in his front pocket. "Give me my keys." I ordered.
"Gabriel seems to think I can." He said, not even giving a thought as to handing over the keys.
"Really, Gabriel? He's the asshole who got me into this whole mess. Listen, you're just going to get yourself killed trying to protect me."
"He sent me because he knew they'd never think to look at me." I looked at him carefully. He didn't look like one of the bad guys but that was hard to tell now. "I will protect you." He promised. I could see it in his eye, unless he was just a great liar. I didn't want to trust him but after being thrown out here alone, he was my best bet, angel or not. I slowly started to walk back to the room and he followed me inside.
"He told me to give you this." In his hand was a sharp metal blade.
"What is it?"
"It is an angel blade, used to kill both angel and demon. He said you'd trust me better if you had a weapon." He was right. Having this would keep me quieter around Gadreel, whoever he was. "And this," he handed me a black bag. I opened it quickly to find some of my clothes and my black box. I took out the box and sat on the bed, staring at it.
For a while I was content just hold the box and the blade, but the angel's voice pulled me back. "Rest," he said. He was right. I needed it.
I woke up in the lodge in my bed, warm. I got up and saw it was still dark out. I went towards the kitchen when I noticed bloody handprints on the walls. Fearful I went back to my room for the blade Gadreel had given me. It was sitting pretty on the dresser. I grabbed it and carefully ventured further into the lodge. I dropped the blade the moment I made it to the living room where Sam and Dean laid on the floor, blood pooling from open wounds on their chests. I backed up and hit something. On the kitchen floor behind me laid a bloody Castiel. I covered my gaping mouth to silence a scream when I noticed two more bodies in front of the door. Gadreel and Gabriel were beside each other, both with the same wound as the brothers and the angel.
Now I began to cry and scream. Then I saw the blood on the blade in my hands. I'd done this. I killed them all. All they did was protect me and I'd killed them. My chest heaved and burned heavily. Inside I could feel something laughing and smiling. It was Nora. Their screams had been music to her.
I sat up fast in the bed, sobbing.
"What's wrong?" a voice asked in the darkness. I turned to see Gadreel on the bed still. It was a dream but it was true. I was going to bring their deaths.
I cleared my throat before saying, "I think there's something outside. I can feel it." He got right up and went outside. Through the dark window I saw him wander past. This was it. I had to get it over and done with. I couldn't allow what I saw to happen and this was the only way.
I went to the bathroom and locked the door before leaning over the sink, blade in hand. This has to end. I took the blade and sliced it over my wrist and blood began to fall. It dripped down my arm onto the sink and floor. I felt cold quickly and fell to the floor.
No one was outside, she must have been dreaming. Gadreel went back to the room to find Satine in the bathroom with the door locked. It didn't seem odd for a few minutes but when no sound came out he began to get suspicious and he popped in. On the floor in a puddle of red laid the broken girl. He shook slightly as he rubbed her shoulder. She didn't respond so he took her wrists in his hands and healed them. But was it too late?
He carried her back to the bed and laid her down. He was unnerved but she was breathing. She'd live, he knew it. But on his watch he'd already managed to let her slip away and if he'd been a second later, she may not have come back.
I opened my eyes to sunlight in the dank motel room. I sat up and looked at my wrists, healed. "No," I huffed and looked over to see the angel. "No, you need to leave!"
He turned at looked at me, hurt. "I saved your life."
"I didn't want you to. Why does no one understand?!" I cried. "I need this to end." I looked at him. Pain welled in my eyes.
"I was told to protect you, and I will, even if it is from yourself." I sat silent then and stared at the floor. He wasn't going to leave me again. I didn't have to privilege to be alone anymore. "Come on," he stood and opened the door. "We have far to go."
I followed him out to the car where I got in and sat silent for a good while. Yeah I was pouting but I was broken, again.
When we got to the next motel I stayed quiet. I raided the mini fridge before going to sleep. I don't know if he knew I was angry with him or not, but he thankfully didn't try to start any conversations. I showered and went to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night after another sleep without dreams. It was odd. Two nights without a word from Gabriel. This was unsettling, he always tried to contact me in some way, or leave a message at least. Mad at him or not, he should have reached out in some way.
Gadreel shifted in a chair by the window of the room. I looked at him and that's when it occurred to me that I hadn't heard from Gabriel since he came into the picture. Maybe he wasn't who he said. Maybe he had an agenda of his own.
Thinking this and knowing he had no idea I was awake gave me the perfect opportunity to find out. I grabbed the blade from the on the bed beside me and padded over to him. He made no sounds or movements to acknowledge me. I tightened my grip on the blade and took him by surprise, pushing him to the floor with the blade at this throat.
"Satine, what are you doing?" No fear was in his eyes but confusion.
"Who are you? And why are you really here? I know something is wrong. Gabriel hasn't contacted me since I met you." I dug my fingertips deeper into his shoulder with each word. He just reached up a hand as if trying to calm me down. "Answer me!" I grinded my teeth. But he overpowered me in an instant, knocking the blade from my hand and taking it in his own. He was hovering over me while pressing me down. The blade was in his hand but not at my throat.
"I mean you no harm, nor will I ever." He looked me in the eye and dropped the blade completely. "I am here to protect you." He stood and offered me a hand up. I pushed it away and got up myself. "I know who you are so I understand why you don't trust me. After everything you've been through, I wouldn't either."
"Then why do you keep trying?" I almost spit, heading back to the bed.
"Because you need me to."
"I don't need you or any other angel!" I swore. "You'd just end up getting killed too." I whispered. I remembered the dream where I killed them all and a tear ran down my face.
"So be it." He said. I turned towards him. In the soft moonlight I could see his honest face. He meant it.
"You never answered my question," He stood beside the bed. "Who are you, really? Every angel has their story, what's yours?"
He looked off into the darkness before answering in a low voice. "I was created long before humans, before most of my brothers and sisters. Father gave me the duty of protecting his dearest creation, to protect the Garden, Eden as you know it. As well as humanity." He trailed off there.
"And?" He looked at me then back to the shadows.
"And the serpent came to me. He told me lies of his harmlessness. He was my brother and I trusted him."
"Lucifer,"
"Yes, he came in and with him came the evils. It was because of me that humans were spoiled, impure. Because of me demons roamed the earth, picking off father's most precious beings. I was then locked in the prisons of heaven for hundreds of thousands of years."
"Because of you demons were created?" He didn't answer.
"I should have never gotten out of that cell, but I'm trying to make up for what I've done. Protecting you is the least I could do."
Something outside drew his attention.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Stay here." He warned. His voice was strict. I could smell it, demon. "Do not come outside. No matter what, stay in this room."
I stayed in place on the bed and listened. Whatever he was fighting was strong. I could hear the yells and grunts. But then I saw more shadows. Others were out there. I shook on the bed but soon enough I couldn't sit anymore.
I then heard Gadreel's scream and saw a bright light through the window. I grabbed the blade and went outside. He was on the ground, bloodied but there was still two more at him. I came up behind one and took it out with one strike from the blade. The second took a few more swings but was killed in time.
When they were both down I ran to Gadreel on the floor, bloodied, and his counter dead on the ground. He was coughing and bleeding from his mouth.
"Hey, are you alright?" I asked quickly, trying to get a good idea of how badly he was hurt. But instead of an answer he reached up and grabbed my shoulder, trying to pull himself up. "Gadreel, heal yourself."
"I can't," he gargled through blood and spit. He was mouthing something else but he couldn't get it out.
"Are we safe?" I asked, the most important question. He shook his head. Great. I gathered up my strength and did my best to get him to his feet, but he was wounded very badly. He could barely walk, but I was able to get him into the room where I quickly drew the sigils on the door and salted the floors. When that was done I turned back to the broken angel.
"Why can't you heal?" He was breathing too heavily to answer. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly then pulled me down to him.
"Get out of here," he begged and I sighed before sitting down beside him. He was clearly in a lot of pain, but what could I do? I wasn't going to leave him but I didn't even know what was wrong with him. I tried the only thing I could think of and I did like I'd seen. I put my hands on the open wound on his neck that was bleeding the most. I took a breath in and closed my eyes before giving it all I had.
When I opened my eyes again the wound was closed, bloodied but closed. He was also breathing normal again. But I was tired, like I was about to faint. He sat up beside me as I started to lose sight of the room. I fell backwards but he was able to grab me.
"Hold on," he said and picked me up and brought me to the bed.
"We're even." I said as my eyes closed.
She was asleep in seconds, but he couldn't have been more grateful to her. He was safe and healed and human. He'd have to explain that to her when she woke, but for now she needed rest. After a use of power like that, she'd be devastatingly tired.
"Thank you," he said softly and brushed hair out of her face.
I woke up sometime during the night to noise. I opened my eyes to see Gadreel fighting a blanket. "What are you doing?" I asked quietly.
"I'm sorry to wake you." He said softly. "I'm trying to sleep."
"Sleep? Why? And why couldn't you heal yourself?"
"I lost my grace in the fight." He breathed. That made everything make sense. I got up and sat on the couch beside him.
"You lost your grace, for me?" He nodded slowly.
"I'd die for you." He said like it was nothing.
"No, I don't ever want you to say that. Don't you ever get yourself killed for me. I'm not worth that."
"How don't you see it?" he looked at me, so confused.
"See what? Does everyone see something I don't? I'm no one special, just some loser whose mother was at some point an angel and was possessed. What is so great about me?" He looked almost hurt that I couldn't see it too.
"I can't make you see what you are blind to." He turned away. I grabbed his hands and he looked down at them quickly.
"Thank you, Gadreel. Thank you for pulling me out of that car, and for healing my wrists, and for giving up your grace for me. Thank you." I yawned.
"Don't thank me." He responded shamefully. He felt so guilty, even after all these years.
"Do you want help falling asleep?" He nodded at that and I smiled. "Then for starters let's get
that jacket and shirt off. It's warm in here already." He did as I said and stripped off his heavy layers. I could clearly see his perfect chest and it made me falter my thoughts, but I shook out of it soon enough.
I grabbed him a pillow and put it at one end and told him to lay down. "The weight of the blanket should help as well." I said sitting on the floor in front of him.
"As well as what?" he asked.
"As being around someone else. I'll stay awake for a while, keep my eye on things."
"You need rest,"
"I'll be fine. You close your eyes and clear your mind. Everything will be fine." I promised. If he was willing to give up his grace for me, I'd be sure to protect him. He still eyed me, with his sad green eyes. "I'll watch over you." I said and he finally laid back and got comfortable. But as soon as I faced the door, leaned up against the couch I was starting to fade again.
Rest, how could he? He wanted to stay up and protect her, not the other way around. She showed so much trust in him and wanted to protect him. He'd never felt that kind of compassion before and that made his heart beat heavily as he smiled to himself in the darkness. Even after what he told her, she still stayed with him.