16

When I woke up I found the angel wandering around the room, aimlessly.

"Gadreel," I muttered rubbing my eyes. He stopped and looked at me. I sat up seeing that I was back in the bed. When I could see clearly I noticed he dark rings around his eyes. "Didn't you sleep?" He didn't respond, just looked at me. "You are such and angel." I sighed and got up. I grabbed my stuff and changed before loading up the car.

For a good hour of driving there was silence in the car, but after last night, I couldn't take the silence.

"Gadreel," He turned to me from the window. "How do you feel?" He didn't look alright. In the morning light I could see how sickly he looked. His vessel was a tall man with a slightly muscular build, but over the last twelve hours something about him changed. He said he'd lost his grace, but something else was wrong.

"Different," he answered.

"Are you human now?"

"Yes," he sighed. The moment he said that I pulled the car into a gas station right by the road. I did it so quickly that it startled him. "Satine, what are we doing here? We have to keep going."

"Stay here, I'll be right back." I told him then got out of the car and into the shop where I grabbed a few drinks and something that would hold us both over until we were in New York. Some peanuts would be good for him. The protein would last him awhile longer.

Back in the car he just looked out the window at the drizzling rain. "It is related to the feeling of sadness but it is beautiful." He said as I got in.

"What?"

"The rain. It falls in the drops of thousands and pools together."

"Yeah, it's water. Speaking of which," I reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle. "Drink this. If you're one of us, you need to take care of yourself like one of us." He took the bottle and opened it before looking at for a few seconds. Then he put it to his chapped lips and took a large drink. Water spilled out between his lips and ran down his chin.

"Eat these. I know it's not much but they'll have to hold you over until we get into New York." I handed him the peanuts and showed him how to open the bag. He took a few and examined them before popping them into his mouth. "You should feel better after getting a good night's rest and a real meal in your stomach."

"They have a drying factor." He said.

"That's the salt. It is my favorite flavor of food but make sure you drink water when eating salt. I'm not taking care of you if you get dehydrated." Out of fear he reached for the water and chugged the rest of it. "Okay, it's not that bad." I smiled at him then pulled back onto the road.

He was chatty today, asking all sorts of questions about being human. I was able to answer all of them. Some things seemed to frighten him, like sickness, and car accidents. Death wasn't news to him as angels died too. But the biggest thing was sleep. He couldn't wrap his head around why we needed it or how it was achieved.

"You just need to clear your mind. That's the biggest thing about sleep. If you keep thinking you just stay awake."

"How do you not think? There is always something crossing my mind now, weather, hunger, sleep." I giggled to myself at him. "What is funny?" he scowled. "You said I could die without sleep and I still don't understand how to do it." He was very serious but I kept laughing.

"You've got eleven days before we have to worry about that. Chill out."

"I am chilled. It is cold here." I laughed again. He was so serious about everything. "You laugh at what I say."

"You're funny. I've been around angels for a while but you take the cake. Maybe is because your human that you are so clueless but it is hilarious. Don't worry about the sleep. I was able to get Castiel to sleep at one point and he was 100% angel."

"Castiel?"

"Yeah, we were together for a little while, but he had a hard time sleeping too. You'll be fine." He relaxed a little at that then suddenly he tensed and something that sounded like rubbing leather came from him. At that I laughed so hard I snorted.

"What was that?" he looked concerned.

Once I wiped away a laughing tear away I said, "You just passed gas, that is normal but if you don't mind, save that for when you're alone or in the bathroom. That's common curtsey." He cheeks reddened and he faced the window. "Don't worry, stay with me and I'll teach you."

"You want me around even though I'm human now? I can't protect you anymore."

"I told you, I don't need protection. And you lost your grace because of me. I owe you."

"No, I owe you my everything. After what I did, I owe all of humanity everything."

"Okay, the guilt thing has to stop."

"Why are you not angry?"

"It was a long time ago, for one. And secondly, what would life be like without the challenge of evil. I'd die of boredom."

"You don't mind it? Fear?"

"No it's normal to fear. Maybe not everyone should be in my possession but most aren't. You angels love your guilt."

"I have no love for what I've done wrong." He was serious and angry.

"And you shouldn't, but it's time to move on. You said you were locked away for what, thousands of years? I think you did your time. You're just punishing yourself now. You gotta forgive yourself." I could feel his eye on me and I turned for only a moment to look at him. "I've killed my family, my hands had their blood on them, literally. But I had to move on. Yes I blame myself, but it wasn't just me. As it wasn't just you, you were lied to. Your brother betrayed you. And if you're looking for outside forgiveness, then you have mine."

He was quiet for a moment then looked at me and said, "I've waited so long to hear that."

"I'm sure I'm not the only one." I took his hand and squeezed it just as we past the Welcome to New York State sign. "We're almost there."

We made it up the state for another half hour before pulling over to a diner. "Are you ready for your first real meal as a human?"

"I am," he nodded.

"Good, because we are getting breakfast."

"It's almost eight at night." He said confused.

"Perfect time for breakfast."

"You humans confuse me."

"Ah, just come on." He followed me into the small diner and we were seated quickly. A young waitress came over to take our drink orders in only a few moments. I read over the menu but couldn't help but notice the way she looked at Gadreel. Her eyes lingered a bit longer than I liked.

"What are the dinner specials?" I asked, gripping her attention from him. She went on about the meatloaf and a few other normal diner meals before I said we needed a little more time.

"You asked her about dinner, I thought we were getting breakfast."

"Never mind what I said to her." He looked a little shaken by my tone. "So, what are you eyeing?" I asked the angel across the table in a lighter tone.

"I don't know. What is normal?"

"Well, you had salty today, let's try sweet."

The waitress came back, "You both ready?"

"Yes, two breakfast specials, bacon, and eggs scrambled."

"You got it." She took our menus and left us with cups of coffee.

Gadreel took his cup and took a quick sip before grimacing. "Careful, it's hot."

"It's awful." He scowled at his drink.

"Try sugar and cream." He put one of each in the drink and stirred. "Try now." He was able to get a larger sip before putting it down. "Better?"

"Not by much." I giggled at him.

"Guess coffee isn't your thing."

When the plates came I drizzled my pancakes in syrup and dug in. Gadreel mirrored me and ate just as fast as I did, maybe even faster.

"Do you like it?" He nodded quickly. "Good, me too." When we finished I paid and we headed out to another motel.

"You should sleep well tonight," I said as I put my bag on the floor beside the bed. "I know I will." I yawned and flopped onto my bed. Gadreel walked up to the other bed and touched the blanket like this was the first time it was of any use to him. Well it was.

"You're still worried." He swallowed and looked at me. "Go shower and I'll make you tea. It'll sooth you some." He did as I said and went into the shower while I got the coffee pot going with hot water. When he came out wearing the same clothes and I noted to myself that I'd have to find him more. I looked at his damp hair when I noticed him cupping his hands.

"What are you holding?"

"Found it in the shower." I leaned over to see it as he opened his hands. I jumped back but quickly got ahold of myself. I scared Gadreel. "What's wrong?" he closed his hands and pulled away from me.

"Take it outside, please." I tried to catch my breath.

"Why?"

"Because they don't belong inside."

"It is just an arachnid."

"Yes, and it belongs outside."

"Oh, I thought you'd like to see it." His face fell as he opened the door. It was cute to see him trying, but he'd need a very different approach.

"Don't take it personally. Humans are just normally afraid of spiders." I patted his bed and he sat. "Here, drink this. I know its bitter but it'll help get you to sleep." He took the mug and sipped the black tea.

"Satine, where are we going?" he asked finally.

"Somewhere safe. We aren't far, should be there tomorrow. Give us a few days to rest and figure out what is going on." I yawned.

"Sleep," he said, standing with his empty mug.

"You too," I crawled into my bed and laid back into the pillows. I didn't close my eyes until the angel was in his bed too, but I was out in seconds.

She was gone so quickly. He envied her. He didn't know what it was like to shut everything off for a few hours but it looked so peaceful. He sat in the bed until morning without a moment of real rest.