18

I opened my eyes to a bright light above me. I looked around the clean bright room and tried to rub my eyes but I was restrained to a metal chair. Then a dark skinned woman came out with beautiful long black hair sitting neatly behind her shoulders. She wore a long white coat over a dark suit.

"Satine," she smiled down at me.

"Are you Samael?" I asked carefully.

"Samael?" she laughed. "Dear child, no. My name is Jophiel. I am so happy to have finally found you, pretty thing." She ran her fingers through my hair. "You've managed to evade us for months, but I'm happy that you made yourself visible to us the other night by healing someone. That gave us a better idea where to look. And then you going out all by yourself in the cold. Well, we couldn't help but pick you up. It isn't safe nowadays." I kicked myself mentally for that one.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want you to see things that you can't. Like those pretty wings of yours that are of no use to you."

"I have wings?"

"Yes, and they are beautiful." She assured me.

"You can see them?"

"Yes, ma'am, and you can too in just a moment." She picked up a needle from a silver cart beside the chair full of a light blue… something. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. It glowed so brightly, white and blue. "I'm going to give you the eyes to see them." I was nervous and excited at the same time. She injected the needle into my neck and pushed the plunger until it was empty. I felt stronger and lighter at the same time. "That was grace. Now let's get you out of that chair so you can stretch them." She undid my restraints and I was able to stand.

Without a real thought I was able to stretch the wings out and around me. My mouth hung open as the tan and white feathers spread around the front of me. Tears rolled down my cheek as I touched them. They were weightless and felt like air around me. They were soft and strong. I beat them one, twice, three times, before I stopped after accidently hitting Jophiel.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know their true size yet."

"That is quite alright," she said, gripping her jaw as two men came in.

"Thank you so much. I've always known they were there but I could never feel or see them. They are beautiful." I stretched one out and hugged the other around me.

"I'm sure they are cramped. Why don't you give them a good stretch," She suggested. I nodded and let them unfurled all the way until they touched the walls. I took a deep breath in as I would with any stretch but then I let out a scream so loud that it would have shattered glass. Pain rang through my whole body and into my chest.

"AHH!" I cried as it happened again and a blue flash darted across the air. I could hear my name screamed from another room as I fell to the floor on my knees. I felt like I was broken in half as I turned around to see my wings bloodied and burnt up to ash and bone on the ground beside me.

"Why?" I sobbed.

"Why? You see my child, you were given something by your mother that wasn't hers to give."

"My Grace?" Tears flew down my face.

"Exactly. You see that belongs to heaven."

"I don't have much."

"No, but more than you needed." The men hauled me to my feet and put me back in the chair and restrained me, even though I had no fight left.

"Satine!" the angels screamed.

"Thank you Gadreel, if it weren't for you, we've have never found her." the dark haired woman said behind the desk. He looked at her with fear as Cas sent them back to the apartment.

"You sold her out!" Dean fought back tears.

"No, I would never." Gadreel fell to the floor, his legs weak under him. He didn't understand.

"You did!" His voice was sharp as he kicked the angel in the ribs heavily. "You sold her out!" he kicked again and again, and no one pulled him back, even Castiel stood and watched. He was frozen in place rewatching what he'd just seen over and over again. Her scream flew through their ears still. Tears ran down both Winchesters' faces. Sam leaned against the hall table to support himself, sure he'd fall if he didn't.

Dean kept assaulting Gadreel with kicks and punches while Gadreel muttered to himself. He was covered in blood from multiple open wounds. He had broken ribs no doubt and a bulging broken eye socket. He was coughing up blood when Dean finally backed off.

"No," he tried to sit up, his broken lip drooling blood on the floor. "Kill me," he begged in the most broken voice Dean had ever heard. "Please, kill me."

"No, Dean." Cas said.

"She wouldn't want that." Sam offered with a breaking voice.

He tightened his grip on the blade. "Please," Gadreel begged, not being able to see much. He was in so much pain but nothing could amount to how messed up he felt inside. "I let her die. I failed her. Please, kill me."

Dean turned with the blade in hand and took heavy steps towards the man on the floor in the puddle of blood. He stood in front of him, the blade ready and was just about to swing when a gentle hand gipped his elbow.

"No, Dean." A soft voice whispered to him. He dropped the blade and backed up, falling onto the couch.

"What are you waiting for?!" Gadreel screamed.

"Shh," he was hushed as I cupped his face. He froze in place as I stroked his cheek with my thumb and his head with my other hand. "Hush, Gadreel." He reached up and felt my long hair before grabbing me and pulling me to him and sobbing into my leg.

"You're dead." Cas said from the hall. "I saw your grace." Sam fell on the floor beside me and wrapped his arms around me.

"They cut off my wings." I said, still numb. "Jophiel gave me the grace to see them then cut them off, letting them rot on the floor." I felt empty and incomplete as I pet Gadreel's head.

"Jophiel?" Sam asked Castiel.

"She is the angel of beauty. She must have known whose daughter you were then. Jophiel was always jealous of Elizabeth." He explained as Gadreel started to choke on my lap.

"Cas, he can't breathe. Please, help him." I said defeated. They had taken that much of my power away.

"I can't heal all of him but I can fix his lungs and eyes. I used too much power getting everyone back."

"Please," He came over and put two fingers on his brother's head. When he turned away, Gadreel gasped and coughed up some blood but much less. His face was better, but his eyes were still red.

"Satine," he breathed.

"Shh," I hushed him again. "You need to rest." I stood and helped him up while he leaned on me completely. "You may stay here if you wish." I said to the boys. "But I need to go to sleep now." I left it at that. Sam came over and helped me get Gadreel up the stairs and into my bed.

"The angel at the desk said that he sold you out." Sam said as we stepped back into the hall.

"No, I got their attention when I healed him a few nights ago. Then I went out by myself tonight like an ass."

"Will you be alright?" he asked gently.

"Honestly, I don't know." Coughing from my room drew my attention. "I have to take care of him. Goodnight Sam."

"We'll be downstairs if you need us."

"Thank you." I said then went to the bathroom where I grabbed alcohol and gauze then went back to the bedroom. "Gadreel, I need to get your shirt off."

"Satine, I'm sorry."

"Later, alright?" I sighed. He nodded slowly then sat up a bit as I took off his shirt. "Damn it, Dean." I muttered looking at Gadreel's bruised body. He looked like he had at least three broken ribs. Almost none of his abdomen was the same color, yellow, blue, purple, red. A few places had ripped skin that bled. I started there with the alcohol. He flinched when I made contact.

"I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt."

"Good," he mumbled. I just breathed through my nose and cleaned up that part as best as I could. When that was done I moved to his shoulder where it looked like he'd been stabbed then his face. His lip was spilt and so was his eyebrow. I cleaned those both then threw out what was left. I sat on the bed beside him and stared at the floor.

"Satine," his hand took my arm gently.

"They cut my wings off." I said and started to tremble. "She let me see them the cut them off." I cried. He sat up slowly behind me and put an arm around my shoulder pulling me down to the bed. I put my face on his chest and sobbed. "They're gone. I felt them my whole life, then she let me see them. I could touch them then she let two angels cut them off."

"Shh," he hushed me now.

"I can't feel them anymore." I cried. "They're gone." It hurt so bad that my whole body trembled.

"Are you in pain?" he asked quietly. I nodded. "Let me see." I sat up and pulled off my sweater then tank top, showing him my whole back. His fingers slowly traced my shoulder blades where they had been and I flinched.

"Is there anything there?"

"You have large scarred rips. Does it hurt when I touch them?" I nodded. It hurt like they were fresh still.

"It feels like they are still bleeding."

He took a sharp breath in before leaning forward and putting his lips to the rips. It was unexpected but I know he'd seen it on the TV today.

"They're gone." I started to cry again and he carefully put his arms around me again, turning me towards him.

"We will get your grace back." He looked me in the eye. "I promise you that." It wasn't the grace I wanted. "Alright?" his eyes were shiny as he looked into mine. "We will get it back." He repeated as he pulled me back down to him. He pulled the blankets over us and held my shaking body to his broken one.

She cried for hours into his chest and he couldn't help but share her pain. He knew what it was like to lose his grace but to have her wings ripped from her completely, he couldn't even imagine. The pain that took her over was unlike anything he'd ever seen and now that she was asleep he could finally beg for her forgiveness. She wouldn't allow it but he needed to.

"I should have never let you leave. I'm sorry, Satine. I'm so sorry." He said over and over all night. He didn't sleep that night, only held her and whispered to her.

When morning came, Sam came to the room. He knocked but Satine didn't even stir. Gadreel wouldn't get up either, but only because he wouldn't let her go. Sam opened the door himself and came in.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

"I don't know." Gadreel answered, fear tripped his mind but he was almost sure that she just needed time.

"Dean and I are going to work the case. If she needs us, have her call."

"Thank you, Sam." Gadreel nodded. Sam didn't like seeing Satine in bed with Gadreel, but he knew that like most angels, Gadreel needed something to lead him. Satine was his purpose and he knew that no matter what, Gadreel would do his best to protect her.