A/N: Again, sorry for the lack of updates. I'm getting ready to move to college so it takes up a lot of time. Please review, follow, and favorite! :)
Also, I'm sorry for this chapter. It kind of killed me to write because Rumbelle is my OTP. But, I'm just being realistic here. Well, as realistic as you can get with Once...
Mr. Gold couldn't sleep.
Even with his warped past, the Dark One usually didn't have trouble drifting off. He wasn't one to have nightmares, or even dwell on troubling things in the middle of the night. Oh, they came occasionally, of course, and he hated those nights.
Nights like this.
Belle's steady breathing beside him only made things worse, reminding him of how he was constantly lying to her every second of the day. It was an ongoing struggle in his head, but his good side was losing more and more. He knew that if he told her the truth now, she wouldn't stay with him a second longer.
Selfish, he thought to himself. I'll always be selfish. He shouldn't have married Belle. He should have told her that he would never be who she wanted him to be, because it was the truth. If he really loved her, wouldn't he have let her go? Let her have a chance somewhere else?
I tried that, but she's too stubborn. The thought almost brought a smile to his lips.
Yet, the moment of happiness while thinking about Belle was short lived. Mr. Gold was all too soon reminded that he had to volunteer to help Regina. Yes, had to were the right words. If he could bring Baelfire back, he had to, even if it meant allowing Regina to have unlimited magic as well. Besides, with that kind of power, he could deal with her easily enough.
To have his son back, he would pay any price.
Even Belle? he wondered. He turned over to gaze at her peaceful form, eyes closed and hair cascading over half of her face.
If he helped Regina, would Belle understand? Would she ever be able to forgive him? Even if she didn't leave him then, he was sure to be more dangerous with unlimited magic. Eventually, she would see him for what he truly was: a coward, a monster…a beast.
I could change. I tried to change for Bae, and I tried to change for Belle, but maybe with both of them I truly can be good.
He sighed. Who was he kidding? He would always be Rumplestiltskin, the Dark One, who always chose magic in the end. It was his crutch, his drug. He had relied on it for far too long to let go of it now.
He had to bring Bae back. He couldn't pass up the chance. Bae had died resurrecting him, so he would give up all that he had to bring him back. And if Belle didn't understand…well…he wasn't ready to think about that yet. Losing her now, after all they had been through, would hurt him more than he could imagine.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.