Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.
Chapter thirty-four: New developments.
Merlin run through the streets. He was barely aware of people calling his name somewhere behind him. As he left the town he run into the woods, he stopped in a small clearing and sat down. He let out a shaky breath and held his head in his hands. Not long after, Aithusa dropped out the sky and landed on his shoulders, Merlin smiled slightly and stroked Aithusa's head.
Finna had been attacked outside his room. He hadn't got there quick enough, he had seen her thrown into a wall, for a moment he was worried the spell had killed her. Then Jared had tried to attack him, thinking he was a simple druid. Merlin smiled, it seemed people still underestimated him, thinking someone so weak looking could hold so much power.
Sighing Merlin lay back on the grass, causing Aithusa to jumps off Merlin's shoulders. As Aithusa got comfortable on Merlin's chest, Merlin shut his eyes. He could have sworn when Jared raised his hand he had Mordred's crest tattooed on his wrist. He recognised it from his dream of the first battle of Camlann.
Merlin snorted, why would a sorcerer be stupid enough to work for Mordred? Mordred was no lover of humans. He had once been human, but the magic he used caused his soul to become twisted and lose all humanity it once held. Mordred was quite clearly using Jared, only he wasn't cleaver enough to see it.
Aithusa sneezed causing a small ball of fire to burst from his mouth, Merlin rolled his eyes as the fire danced over his skin. Since he had become a dragon lord, fire couldn't really harm him…. Well not as much as it had once been able to, the only fire which could harm him had to be created by magic. He could hold a normal none-magical fire in the palm of his hand without the aid of magic and his nightmares of burning on the pyre became a thing of myth. Only to be replaced by the dead who hunted him.
He could imagine Uthur's face, as he failed to burn. He had often wondered if Uthur tried to burn the dragon lords over and over again, after all they couldn't be killed by normal flames, but never thought it a topic worth troubling people with. Everyone he knew who could answer the question to, were still hunted by the days of the great purge and refused to speak of it.
Gaius was still hunted by what happens during the great purge, he hardly ever admit it, but he felt great guilt for not helping more people…. His fear of being killed and losing his place beside the king had stopped him from helping.
The fear of being burned stopped a lot of people from helping others. All those who stood up for sorcerers or aided them were killed alongside the people they tried to help. Gaius was lucky he hadn't been caught helping those he did help.
Merlin could understand why Gaius never helped, he too had watched people be killed, to frightened to help. He was more powerful than Uthur could imagine, yet Uthur's name still sent cold shivers of fear down his spine. He could almost laugh, Uthur was dead and he still feared him…. Least no sorcerer would be mad enough to bring Uthur back from the dead, so he wouldn't have to face Uthur wrath when he found a sorcerer had been working for his son, for years!
Merlin sighed, sometimes he still thought of himself as a monster, yes he had helped many escape Camelot, as a way to try and make up for not saving the women he loved, Freya…. But he had watched so many die, he had let so many die and so many had died for him, to protect him and the future he would help create. He had vent killed his own kind, all to keep his friends safe, least he found peace in the fact, he had never killed someone who was innocent. All those he had killed practiced dark magic or killed others.
History would remember all the great things he had done…. But all his mistakes would be his to remember until the end of time. The guilt he felt would never leave him and the dead would always haunt his dreams. He had blood on his hands that would never wash off.
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Kilgharrah refused to speak about the great purge, he said it was a time of great darkness, but that was all he ever said. Merlin only knew what happened to the dragons because of what Balinor, his father, had told him before he died. Merlin often dreamt of what happened to the dragons…. A once noble race hunted like common animals.
Merlin knew the great purge had upset Kilgharrah deeply. He had watched all his kin be slaughtered and then been imprisoned below the castle as a trophy Uthur could brag about. He couldn't imagine what that must have felt like, to have your family torn away from you like that and to fear you would never see the light of day again.
Aithusa sensed Merlin change in mood and let out a small squeak and a puff of smoke. Merlin smiled, Kilgharrah had been so happy when Aithusa had hatched. He may not have shown it, but Merlin had sensed the happiness radiating off him. Stroking Aithusa head, Merlin watched the clouds.
Alator and many others here, had survived the great purge. The purge was something they never talked about. So many people had lost loved ones and watched other people suffer, too scared to help. The druids had been dealt the worst blows, being a peaceful people they never fought back and helped anyone who came to them for aid.
Uthur and Arthur had both lead attacks against them and so many people had died. Merlin's people, people who turned to him for aid and protection. At the time these attacks happened Merlin, hadn't even left his home to come to Camelot, so had no way of knowing or stopping it. But then when he did come to Camelot, he lead Arthur right to a druid camp on more than one occasion and had done little to stop it.
People kept dying in his name and he was unable to save them. Every druid, sorcerer and creature of magic died hoping Emrys would save them and he had not.
"You cannot save everyone, no matter how hard you try." Iseldir speaks from beside Merlin.
Merlin sighs, still watching the clouds. "So many people have died and I was too scared to save them."
Iseldir shakes his head. "You saved as many as you could. To have tried to save everyone would have gotten you killed…. If you had died, we would never have been safe. We have a kingdom where we are safe and can practice our magic freely, we can teach our children without fear of them being killed and we are happy."
"But I have made so many mistake, sacrificed so many friends and kin in order to keep Arthur and Camelot safe," Merlin answers. "My mistakes have killed many and caused a lot of pain."
"You are young, Emrys," Iseldir answers. "You learn from your mistakes…. Everyone makes mistakes, no matter how hard they try not to."
"But no one else's mistakes kill hundreds of people," Merlin replies. "Maybe Gaius was wrong, I am a monster…. What kind of person turns their back on their kin, just to protect the son of Uthur Pendragon?"
Iseldir stared at Merlin, not sure what to say. Everyone saw Merlin as a strong young man, who always did what he had to do, to protect his friends and those he cared about…. Yet here he appeared so weak and troubled. Iseldir looked at him sadly, he had such a great power, it made people forget, he was just one person fighting a world that would kill him without hesitation. And the mistakes of the past haunted him like ghosts.
"You did what you believed to be right, that takes courage," Iseldir finally speaks. "There are many who would not stand up and fight for what they believe in, like you have. You protect as many as you can and fight against those who do more harm than good…. It shows you have a good heart. By protecting Camelot you have saved the lives of many innocent people, who have no defence against magic…. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made."
"But I have killed so many." Merlin mutters.
"You killed to save the lives of your friends and people you care about," Iseldir answers. "There is no good and evil in this world, it is simply the difference between right and wrong. You have always tried to do the right thing and sometimes trying to do the right thing has done more damage than good, people will always make mistakes."
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Alator watched as Merlin walked towards the tower, Aithusa sitting on his shoulders and Iseldir walking beside him. When Merlin had left the tower he seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders, shadows seemed to cling to him and a dark mood blocked out all the happiness he usually had.
As they approached Alator noticed Merlin seemed more like his normal self, but his eyes still lacked their normal spark. Iseldir suddenly turns to Merlin.
"I almost forgot," He speaks. "You must go to the lake of Avalon tomorrow at dawn and you must go alone. The Sidhe wish to speak to you."
Merlin glances at Iseldir. "Is it about the mortal gateway they want me to create?"
Iseldir shakes his head. "They wish to form an alliance between this realm and Avalon. To form this alliance you are to marry."
Merlin stood walking. "What?"
"To form an alliance they wish you to marry…. Your bride has already been chosen. You must be there at dawn tomorrow, I wish you good fortune, Merlin Emrys."
Merlin watches Iseldir walk off, in a stunned silence.
"I'm getting married?" Merlin finally manages to ask.
"It appears so," Alator replies. "A marriage would form a good alliance with Avalon."
"This is just madness." Merlin exclaimed.
"They say there is method to the madness," Alator smiles. "Do not be so quick to judge, you have yet to meet the one who is to be your bride."
Merlin suddenly looks horrified. "You don't think they'll make me marry a Sidhe do you? I mean there is nothing wrong with the Sidhe but I don't want to marry one!"
Alator laughed. "The Sidhe are not the only ones who live in Avalon, you could marry someone from any race…. Even human."
"Humans live in Avalon? I thought it was only those who had died could pass into Avalon." Merlin asks.
Alator shakes his head. "The humans who live there are like you, they are immortal and when their jobs in this realm as complete, they move to Avalon."
Merlin shakes his head. "I guess I will have to go, but I am not marrying someone I have no feelings for."
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News spread fast through the realm of Avalon. Soon everyone knew there was to be a wedding between someone from the human realm and the lady of the lake. The only person who didn't know about it was the lady of the lake herself. Freya, had been busy watching the mortal realm, hoping to see Merlin and was unaware of the news.
"Lady Freya! Lady Freya!" A young nymph calls running towards her.
Freya turns round. "What is it, Arethiusa?"
"I wanted to congratulate you. It is such good news."
"Congratulate me on what?"
"You marriage of course! It is the talk of Avalon!" Arethiusa exclaimed happily.
"What?"
"You getting married the Sidhe elders arranged it this morning!"
"No," Freya gasps. "I cannot marry!"
Arethusa smiles. "He's from the human realm, I have heard. The Sidhe are granting you a mortal body once more so you may return to the human realm once more…. How romantic!"
Freya sits down suddenly. She would be granted a mortal body once more…. She would be able to see Merlin. Merlin! If she saw Merlin, it would break her heart, to see him but be married to another.
"He's a king, I have been told," Arethusa continues. "You are going to be a queen! You'll be able to have whatever you want and do whatever you want, you'll be queen."
"But I don't want to marry a king!" Freya exclaimed. "I don't even know their name!"
"Why does that matter? You'll be queen!"
Freya shakes her head, this was even worse. Merlin would no doubt hear about the marriage, they might be forced to go to Camelot to sign a peace treaty…. She might see him again!
"No!" Freya yells. "I do not want to be queen or be rich and rule a kingdom…. All I want is Merlin, to be happy and loved." She whispered the last bit, so it went unheard by Arethusa.
Tears roll down her cheeks, reminding her of the time she cried when she thought Merlin wasn't coming back, when she had been hiding in Camelot. When she had spoken to him and handed him the sword, it broke her heart all over again, knowing she could never be with him…. Not until he died and joined her in Avalon.
"Don't cry Freya," Arethusa comforted her. "You'll have a life of luxury and everything you could dream of or wish to have."
"But I won't be able to have Merlin." She mutters to herself. "He is the only one I could dream of spending my life with."
"The wedding is tomorrow," Arethusa smiles. "So a dress needs to be fitted…. Come on I will help you."
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Alator, Merlin and the council gathered in the hall, Merlin was still stressing about the fact tomorrow he would have to marry someone from Avalon. Alator couldn't help but feel bad for Merlin, he had heard about Merlin's love, who had been killed by Arthur. He knew the pain it still caused him, to be forced to marry and without love, would not help Merlin in the slightest.
As the last councilman takes his place the meeting begins.
"Reports have come in, regarding the army Mordred has created," A councilman speaks up. "From what the reports say, the army is growing in numbers daily…. We are already outnumbered five to one."
"Could he simply be using an illusion to scare us?" a second councilman speaks up. "If he can make it look like we won't stand a chance against him, he may think we'll give up."
"The report states that illusions are being used, but only to hide the number of soldiers Mordred has…. There may be more who are hidden by illusions." The first councilman replies. "The scouts are yet to destroy ever illusion."
Merlin and Alator shared a worried glance. There were to be outnumbered by five to one and it was possible there were more they didn't know about.
"What facts do we actually have?" A third councilman asks.
"None of Mordred army are human all are creatures summoned or created by Mordred's power," The first councilman answers, reading the report. "We currently outnumbered five to one. Mordred has somehow gotten the aid of the Saxons, no doubt the work of Morgana.
"A fleet of fifty Saxon ships will reach the coast in a matter of days, a second army is said to be traveling through the mountains to join Mordred current army, and they alone out number us three to one. It is also possible sorcerers loyal to Morgana will fight against us, as well as those who follow Mordred…. They will be the only humans we will have to fight."
"But Mordred hates humans," A forth councilman speaks up. "Why would he let them aid him?"
"An army of Saxon's and a couple hundred sorcery can easily be destroyed," A fifth answers. "Once he has won he can simply destroy them."
"Then we must start preparing for war," Alator speaks up. "If we are to be attacked now, we will stand little chance…. I will inform the Catha, we will be ready for war, before the sun sets."
"I will inform the druids," Merlin adds. "I will see how many are willing to help."
The head councilman nodes. "Prepare for war, we cannot be caught off guard. Once the army is ready you will start making plans."
Everyone calls their agreement and quickly leaves to inform the people, the kingdom was about to go to war and that is was fast approaching.
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The druid council gather in the council hall and wait for Merlin to appear. Everyone knew why they had been called here, but refused to believe it until it was announced. The druids and many others had been uneasy, the kingdom was not yet a week old and already it was being forced to go war.
Merlin appeared at the head of the council table, he bowed his head and the council bowed theirs in return.
"I am sorry to have called you here," Merlin speaks up. "But the kingdom is preparing for war…. As your king, I must ask, will you fight alongside me?"
The council are silent for a moment, Merlin watches them as they share looks and mutter.
"Why not order us?" One druid asks. "You are our king."
Merlin looks at him. "I may be king, but that does not give me the right to take away your free will, it is you choice if you fight…. Everyone knows druids are a peaceful people who dislike war and fighting…. As you king I have to respect that and you let you choose, I will not force you to do something you do not wish to do."
"What if we refuse to fight?" A second asks.
"I do not ask you to fight," Merlin answers. "I ask for help and support. If there are those of you who wish to fight, then fight. If there are those of you who wish only to heal and tend to the injured then do that. I will not force you to fight or risk your lives."
"You have proven yourself to be a wise and just king," A third druid answers. "I will support you, in any way possible. My people come from king Sarrum's kingdom, we know how to fight."
Iseldir at last speaks up. "I will support you, also, my lord. But my people are better suited to the healing arts."
Merlin nodes. "So you will help?"
Iseldir nodes. "My camp and I, will help and support you in all the ways we can. Some will be able to fight, but most of the magic we practice is healing magic and defence magic."
Merlin smiled. "Then there will be plenty need for you skills."
Other druids speak of what their orders and camps will be able to do and Merlin quickly records it all. The war council needed to be informed of what the druids could do…. If they were to start planning for war, they needed to know what everyone was capable of.
As the council leave to inform their people of the news they had just been told, Merlin watches them. He had just condemned his people to war, not that he could have stopped the war from happening, even if he had tried.
But he had given his people the choice, they could help or fight or do nothing. They had chosen to help and support him. Merlin could never force someone to do something against their own will, least of all his people. And he was glad they had chosen to help and supported him and the kingdom they now called home.
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Hunith sat down beside her son.
"There is something troubling you, my child, what's the matter?"
"We are about to go to war," Merlin answers. "I am worried."
Hunith sighed. "War is unpleasant, but sometimes it is the only way to stop those who are doing evil things…. When we win this war, people throughout the lands will be safe from Mordred."
"How can you be so sure we will win?"
"Because I believe in what we fight for," Hunith answers her son. "We fight for peace, we fight for freedom and we fight to keep the ones we love safe…. If Mordred was to win, we would have no peace, no freedom and we would be powerless to protect the ones we love."
Merlin sighs. "I asked the druids if they would help, but I couldn't help but feel like they were testing me…. They seemed pleased I asked them to help of their own free will and not by force."
"They needed to see what was truly in your heart…. They now know you would never force someone to do something against their free will if it risked them getting hurt."
The two of them fall into a comfortable silence before Merlin speaks again.
"I am to go to Avalon tomorrow and be married." Merlin smiles nervously.
Hunith to say the least was surprised. "Married?"
Merlin nodes. "It is to form an alliance between this realm and Avalon…. But I cannot do it…. Freya…. She is the only women I'll ever be able to love in that way…. I know we didn't spend that much time together, but I love her with all my heart…. I always will."
"You will see her again, that I am sure."
Merlin shakes his head. "We can only be reunited in death…. I…. I'm immortal…. I can never die, I'll never see her again…. I will forever remain in the land of the living, while she will forever remain in the lake of Avalon."
"My child!" Hunith gasps, pulling her son into a hug. She had comfort knowing in her death she would see Balinor again, to imagine never being able to see him again was almost too painful. Yet that was all her son felt and she would do anything to get rid of that pain, if only she was given a way.
Hunith finally speaks. "They cannot force you to marry, my child."
Merlin sighed. "I know…. But I still need to go, as much as I do not want to do this…. Something in the back of my mind is telling me to do so."
Hunith looked at her son. "You have changed so much…. You have done so many things…. No matter what you do, my child, I will always be proud of you."
"I bet you didn't think that when I broke all the plates when I was six!" Merlin laughs, trying to lighten the mood.
Hunith smiled. "Just remember, follow your heart."
"I will."
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Alice was mixing a potion as Merlin walked through the door.
"Merlin." She greets.
"Alice," Merlin replied. "You wanted to speak to me about Terrance."
"I do," Alice smiles. "Don't worry its nothing bad."
Merlin smiled and sat down at one of the benches and picked up a small bottle. "I don't think anything could be bad news in the light of current events."
Alice sighed. "It's about Terrance's magic."
"What about it?"
"He can only control the elements fire," Alice answers. "Hence why he is so powerful."
"So he can't control any other element? At all?" Merlin asked.
"He cannot control any other element. People like Terrance, besides warlock and witches, are born with their powers. I once met a girl who could only control the element earth…. They are not common, but they are more common than people like you, Merlin."
Merlin nodes. "So he can only cast spells which are fire based?"
Alice nodes. "And will be stronger than your average sorcerer in that element."
"That explains why he picked up that spell so quickly."
At that moment there was a knock at the door.
"Come in." Alice calls, finishing off the potion she was making.
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Alator walked through the door, followed by two hooded men, who reminded Merlin of Morgauses' blood guard.
"Sorry to disturb you," Alator mutter. "I was told Merlin was here and I need to speak with him."
"About what?" Merlin asked.
"These," Alator points at the two men. "Are your new guards. Until we have found the traitor, they will be guarding you."
"What!" Merlin exclaimed. "I don't need guards!"
Alator glanced at Merlin. "It has come to my attention that you have suffered a lot of wounds in the past, due to the fact you have no one to watch your back. You are powerful, yes, but you focus so much on saving other people, you do not protect yourself."
Merlin glared at him for a moment, before turning back to the small bottle he had in his hand. He looked at the writing on the side, hemlock, Merlin almost smiled. Putting the bottle down, he faced Alator.
"And what makes you so sure they will be able to protect me from the likes of Morgana? I will not have people risking their lives for me…. Too many people have already died trying to protect me."
Alator sighed. "They have agreed to guard you, Merlin, they know the risks."
Merlin sighed. "I am immortal, is that correct?"
Alator nodes. "It is."
"So who can kill me? If I'm immortal no one can kill me!"
"You are mistaken," Alator answers. "You can be killed."
"What?"
"Mordred has a Hallows sword, it can kill the living dead…. It can kill those who are immortal."
Merlin stared at him for a moment. "And you want people to risk their lives to stand between me and Mordred? I'm not even sure I have the power to destroy him and I am supposed to be the most powerful!"
Alator nodes. "I want them to guard you, you need all the protection you can get…. If Mordred kills you, the war will be lost before it beings…. So they will be guarding you until this war begins."
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Hey hoped you liked this chapter. I tried to focus on the guilt Merlin must feel at the start and also others who have magic. Merlin has watched a lot of people die for him and in his name, throughout the show and living with that guilt can't be easy. I feel a little bit evil for making it so Freya and Merlin don't know they are to marry each other, but I thought it would be a nice surprise :), until next time,
Blessed be,
TreeOfLife1997.