Sitting at her old desk, she stares blankly at the screen in front of her as she goes over in her head everything that has happened the past few hours. She can hear the sound of the team moving around the bullpen, filling out all the necessary paperwork they need to complete after a case like this. She's not even sure just how long she's been sitting there when she feels a gently hand on her shoulder and glances up to see the blonde sitting on the edge of her desk.
'Hotch says we've all to go home… Some of us were going to grab a drink before heading, do you want to come?' JJ asks softly.
'What time is it?' Emily asks reaching up and running her hand over her face.
'A little after 11. We won't be out late. Do you have somewhere to stay while you're here? We have a spare room?' JJ says causing Emily to sigh.
'I haven't even booked a hotel.' Emily admits.
'Then you'll stay at ours. Do you want to come for a drink? It's perfectly understandable if you don't; I can get Will to pick you up.' JJ asks. She watches as a single tear runs down the brunette's cheek causing her to smile sympathetically at her.
'You kept him safe, Emily. Declan is safe and he's going to have a wonderful life because of you.' JJ says reaching for her friend's hand.
'He just witnessed his mom and dad get shot… How does anyone, how does a child recover from that?' Emily asks.
'Neither of them were parents to him. He hadn't even met Chloe before all of this. He'll get all the help he needs and he will be okay.' JJ replies and Emily nods her head. She reaches up to wipe the tear from her cheek and lets out a small sigh.
'Doyle loved him. I know looking at his file and everything he was capable of, it's hard to believe but he did love Declan.' Emily says.
'Anyone could see that, Emily. You would have to be blind not to see that Doyle loved Declan but he couldn't be the dad a child needed. You knew that and that is why you did everything in your power to protect him.' JJ replies.
'What you heard earlier…' Emily begins and JJ shakes her head.
'I won't say a word to anyone but if you ever need someone to talk to then you know I am always here, Em.' JJ says gently squeezing her friend's hand.
'I just- I couldn't bring another child of his into this world. I had got in way over my head during that undercover mission and I just needed it all to be over. I knew if I had his baby and he ever found out who I really was then that was it for me and my child would be led into this life of crime and danger.' Emily admits.
'You don't have to explain anything to me. There is no judgement here for the decisions you had to make when you were undercover or how you chose to heal after.' JJ says.
'Did you fall for him?' JJ asks softly glancing at her friend who is curled up at one end of the sofa, a glass of whisky in her hand.
'Fall for who?' Emily asks taking a sip of the spirit.
'Doyle… When you were undercover as Lauren Reynolds, did you fall for him? I mean you were undercover for what? A year. That's a long time to just be pretending.' JJ says. She watches the brunette take a deep breath and move some hair out of her face.
'I don't know.' Emily admits shaking her head.
'I guess looking back there definitely were moments when I felt a bit too comfortable, you know?' Emily continues and JJ nods her head.
'It's understandable though, Emily. You spent so much time undercover; you spent time building a life with him, with Declan even if it was as someone else.' JJ says.
'I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.' Emily admits glancing down at the dark liquid just about coating the bottom of the glass.
'You're supposed to feel however you are feeling, Emily. There is no rule book to this job, to this life we lead.' JJ says reaching for the whisky to top up the brunette's glass.
'I knew, I know he was a criminal. He stabbed me, fuck sake. He wanted to kill me but I just- I saw such a different side to him behind closed doors, I got to see him as a dad and not just Ian Doyle.' Emily replies and JJ nods her head.
'They weren't supposed to be able to kill him… If I had thought for one minute then I never would've- I couldn't have.' Emily says shaking her head.
'None of us could've predicted what was going to happen, Emily. Doyle- Ian dying wasn't your fault. We all made that decision to take him out there, to save Declan… What did he say to you earlier today? When he gave you the list of people who could be working with Chloe? Think back to what he said.' JJ says.
'To go find Declan.' Emily replies and JJ shakes her head.
'He said go find our boy because no matter what happened between the two of you, forgetting everything that went down; he knew that you loved Declan and he knew that you had been more of a mother to that boy, albeit from a distance at certain times, than Chloe ever would or could've been. Because when it came down to it he knew that he could trust that you would do everything to save Declan.' JJ says and Emily bites her bottom lip. She glances away from the blonde and downs her drink before placing the glass on the table in front of her with a sigh.
Making his way into the lounge, Will sighs as he sees the sight in front of him; both his wife and her best friend are fast asleep on the sofa. JJ has her feet resting on the footstool and her arm wrapped around the brunette who's cheeks are stained with tears. Grabbing the blanket from the armchair, he careful drapes over the two of them and kisses the top of JJ's head causing to stir slightly.
'She needs me.' The blonde whispers sleepily and Will nods his head.
'I'll entertain Henry in the morning… I love you.' He says softly.
'I love you too.' She replies.