I realised that I was in an unfamiliar place before I had even opened my eyes. A bed. I was definitely lying on a bed. The fabric was soft under the palms by my sides – I knew I wasn't in any immediate danger. It was silent, except for an underlying rustling sound like someone nearby couldn't sit still. All I knew was that my head was pounding and I felt ridiculously confused.

So I flicked my eyes open, revealing the red canopy of a bed stretched above my head. Huh. A Gryffindor bed.

Feeling my bones ache with every move, I slowly pushed upwards, the room spinning momentarily. I blinked, took in the scene before me, then blinked again. I realised where I was with an awkward shudder: The Marauders dorm.

Across from me, Lily sat on a trunk watching me cautiously. Her legs were crossed and she had one hand leant back onto James Potter's bed, where he perched behind her like a deer in headlights. How fitting. Next to James, Sirius was pacing up and down, staring at the floor and nibbling on his thumb. Peter was sat silently cross legged on another bed.

Remus was harder to spot. He was curled up behind James on the bed, his knees at his chest and his expression unable to read.

Remus. A werewolf. The werewolf from that night. Okay. Right. Sure.

I cleared my throat and all eyes shot to me.

"What's going on?" I managed to squeak out, my stomach churning with nerves.

James and Sirius exchanged a look.

"How did I get here?" I pressed, shuffling to sit upright. I made a sudden movement with my legs and my heart dropped as I saw Remus flinch, ever so slightly.

Thankfully (because I would have gutted the boys if they had tried to make excuses), it was Lily who spoke first.

"You passed out, hun. Sirius carried you back. You've been out for around half an hour," she explained, her green eyes not blinking once. She was unnaturally still, her long hair draped over one shoulder.

"What's going on?" I repeated, this time attempting to stand. As soon as I had pushed myself upwards, my head span and the room blurred. A shuffle of a noise and then two strong hands were pushing me down again and someone was telling me to rest.

I batted Sirius's hands away and couldn't bring myself to look into those ridiculous silver eyes.

Resigned, I leant back against the pillows and let my eyes focus again. James hadn't moved, his body tense and rigid.

"Is this an intervention? To make sure I don't spill your secrets?" I started, my voice more spiteful than I intended. Sirius moved to the end of the bed I was on and he leant against a bed post, glancing back at James.

No one spoke. All the rage from earlier was trickling back into my blood.

"You honestly think that I would do that? How long have we known each other? You really don't trust me that much?"

"It's not that we don't trust you, it's-" Sirius started, in a strained voice.

"Oh right. Ha! Well if you really didn't mind me knowing that the fucking three of you are animagus's then why didn't you tell me when I was losing my mind over the past week or so!"

"Erin, it's more complicated than that," Sirius sighed, trying to find his words. I saw Lily and James glance at each other out of the corner of my eye. Even Lily was in on this… I just want someone to tell me the whole truth.

Silence hung in the air as if they expected me to retaliate again. But a deep, sad feeling was pouring into me until I was brimming with hurt from their secrets. I forced myself to raise my eyes to meet Sirius's. The same eyes that looked into mine in the shack; the same eyes that only earlier today I looked into and felt like I couldn't be happier.

I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them. My voice trembled. I felt a stinging behind my eyes.

"…How could you pretend like you weren't there? I almost died."

James and Sirius stared at the floor as if it would spare them my helpless gaze. Even Lily looked on the edge of tears. Peter hadn't moved since I had woken up.

The silence was broken by the person I thought least likely to.

Lupin bit his lip from where he was half hid behind James on the bed. He nodded to himself before swinging his legs over the bed and pushing himself up with shaky hands. Everyone's eyes shot to him, but Remus kept his focus on me, a slightly embarrassed smile on his lips.

"Erin," he took in a deep breath, "I'm really sorry for what happened to you. I can't believe that Snape would be cruel enough to put you in that situation, especially after…" Remus glanced to the ceiling as if a bad memory had hit him, "…well after a similar thing happened to himself only a few months ago."

Sirius's hands jerked suddenly to grip his shirt like an electric shot had pulsed down his spine. For the first time in my life, I saw Sirius's face show complete guilt. Remus ignored him purposefully.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that after that night, we thought it was best if you were spared the truth…" Remus paced across the room and sat down on the end of my bed, his hands being meticulously wrought. "It was a decision the others let me make. After the first mishap of letting Snape know about… condition, I had no idea what Dumbledore would say if he knew it happened again. James, Sirius and Peter- their animagus forms aren't exactly… legal, and if you accidently let slip about those animals being there that night…" Remus blinked at me, struggling for words. "If he knew that once again, I had almost killed another student, I- I could be- we could-"

Remus looked at his shaking hands and all of a sudden, James was next to him, throwing his arm across Lupin's shoulders.
"Moony, it's not your fault. None of it is."

For the first time, it all clicked. And I understood.

This wasn't about me.

This was about keeping Remus safe. That's why they had learnt to become animagus's. To protect him.

He was right. If Dumbledore found out that another students life had been at risk, his usual understanding and forgiving nature could be tested. Especially if he found out about their illegal animal forms. The boys would be punished severely. Remus might have to leave the school. He'd be labelled a danger to the students. He might be torn away from his family. His whole life would be ruined. Remus didn't want to hurt anyone. But the Wizarding Community would see him as a monster.

"I'm so sorry, Remus…" I whispered, leaning across to pat his hand. "I would never tell anyone, you know that right?"

"I know, Erin. I should have told you about the wolf after that night. It would have saved you so much torture. I've heard about your dreams and-" Remus's voice broke, "I can't apologise enough. But my whole life, I've had to keep this a secret. It was my fear that stopped us from telling you. Not everyone is as open minded as these guys."

"Like James said, it's not your fault." A rage started bubbling inside me again, but this time, it was not directed at my friends. It was a protective sort of anger. And the target was one particular slimy Slytherin. I glanced at the other Marauders, lingering on Sirius longer than the other boys, "You were protecting Remus by not telling me. I know how bad the stigma surrounding werewolves is. I understand. You four put each other first before anyone else, I get it. I would have done the same for Lily. You're doing the right thing protecting him on the full moon. I'm not mad at any of you. No one was permanently hurt. And now I know your side, I feel a hell of a lot better, to be honest with you."

I was telling the truth. Knowing that there wasn't an evil werewolf out there trying to hunt me down, I felt a lot lighter. I had been scared of this unknown dark creature that I thought was going to take me back to that shack and try and kill me, just for the fun of it. But now I know the Marauders were doing their best to make sure that the wolf didn't hurt anyone. They had it under control. At least when Snape didn't get involved…

"You're getting that look on your face, Erin," Lily piped up, uncertainly.

"What look?" I feigned, gathering my strength and finding that I could stand up without feeling faint.

"That look when you're planning something."

"Me? Planning something?" I grinned at her, feeling a spark inside me that I hadn't felt since before the last full moon.

I started towards the door. When I pulled the handle open, I glanced behind me at Sirius and smirked at him, "You coming?"

No one could figure out how all of Snape's clothes had been permanently dyed bright pink and no one could figure out the counter curse. Or how to stop the smell of dung bombs following him. Or how to stop the floor underneath him from turning to slippery ice whenever he walked into the Great Hall. Or how to stop his voice sometimes rising a few octaves.

One morning, about two weeks after the boys had told me the whole truth, I was eating breakfast in the Great Hall with Lily. I was feeling great, having been able to sleep without terrible haunting nightmares ever since that chat. Sure I got the odd twinge, but I was able to deal with my fear and anxiety on the subject a lot better. I felt refreshed and closer to my friends than I have ever done before. Lily had her head in a Transfiguration text book, revising for the class we had this afternoon. I was pilling a second helping of bacon onto my plate when I heard the usual laughter echo from the front of the hall – Snape had entered and, as per norm, fallen to the floor, his face bright red with anger and embarrassment. He was wearing black robes, most likely borrowed from someone in his house due to his own being not of the regulation black colour.

I smirked to myself and continued to eat my breakfast.

"You should really take that charm down now. It's been long enough," Lily's voice chided from behind the pages of her book.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said nonchalantly, twisting my fork at her.
"You know full well what I'm talking about. You're bullying him. He's gonna snap soon and try to get his own back."
I lowered my voice, "It's not life or death though is it?"
She made a huffing noise in disapproval. "I don't agree with your method of revenge, that's all."

A shadow appeared over my plate.
"Carter." A voice sneered." A strong scent of dung bombs floated up my nose.
I slowly finished chewing and swallowing my bacon before setting my fork down and twisting my head to peer up at Snape.
"Morning! Lovely day, isn't it," I smiled brightly at him, "Would have been better seeing you in those luscious pink robes you have. They so went with your eyes."
Lily put down her book and raised her eyebrows at me. I watched Snape's cheeks flush.
"Shut up. I've had enough. Take these stupid charms off me or I'll hex you with curses far worse than you could ever imagine."

I sighed, faking pity.
"Right here in the Great Hall? Snivellus, you can't prove I put those spells on you."
Snape narrowed his eyes, "I know it was you."
I shrugged as if I couldn't care less, "You're ruining my breakfast. Please leave."
"Take the charms off."
"No."
"Erin-" Lily tried to interrupt.
"I don't need your help," Snape spat at her.
"Woah. Woah," I rose up to standing and Snape took a step back, "Don't be rude to Lily. That's crossing the line."
"And living like this isn't?" I could tell by his expression that I was really riling him up. But we were in the middle of the Great Hall with all the teachers' eyes on us. I was going to have to end this without a bunch of hexes thrown about. I had enough trouble keeping out of detention as it was.
"Okay. I'll give you a deal. I'll tell whoever put those spells on you to take them off, and in return, you never bother me or any of my friends again. I mean, no comments under your breath, no hexes thrown our way, nothing. You don't talk to Lily, you don't make remarks about James or Sirius or anyone."
He said nothing, trying to think of any sort of catch.
"Oh, I'll also throw in not telling Dumbledore that you tried to have me killed."
Snape glared at me.
"Quickly, please. I want your stench gone so I can finish my breakfast without becoming ill."

Snape glanced at Lily and his face straightened.
"Fine. Deal."
"If you break your side of the bargain, those charms will come right back."
"Fine! Fine! Deal!"
We shook hands for half a second, before he stormed over to the Slytherin table, throwing himself down in a huff.

I settled back down and started eating again as if nothing had happened. One glance at the head table showed me that both Dumbledore and McGonagall were beaming at me. I smiled.

"That was mature of you Erin. Not one slur word or hex. I'm proud of you," Lily pursed her lips and leant her head on her palm.
"Thank you."

Sirius threw himself down onto the bench next to me. I smiled at him and turned to greet James, who appeared next to Lily.
"Was that you shaking hands with Snivellus I just saw?" Sirius furrowed his brow before grabbing a piece of toast and munching a huge piece off.
"I simply told him to stay out of our way, and in return, we'd take the charms off."
"Woah, really? That was… kind?" James grimaced at me, as if I'd grown a head.

I rolled my eyes, "How long do you think it'll take Snape to break the deal? He can't resist calling you a big headed jerk. I give it a week before we have to put them back on. As long as he's nice, we're nice."
James's face grew into a wide grin, "I love it."
Lily rolled her eyes and began to read her book again. I knew she was trying to hide her smile.

"You're a genius, Erin," Sirius beamed at me. I turned my head to smile at him and was caught half way, by his hand pulling my cheek towards him. He crashed his lips against mine for a second before we both flinched back in surprise. We hadn't kissed since our date in Hogsmede. Not that I hadn't thought about it. Of course, I'd thought about it. Oh god.

Sirius, wide eyed, stuttered, "Sorry- I- I just did it without thinking- I-"
I relaxed into a grin, "Come here, you idiot."

I pulled his tie towards me and kissed him, soft and smiling. I felt Sirius relax and slowly move his lips against mine. I heard James whooping from across the table and I let out a small giggle. His hand moved to my hair. I couldn't feel happier! Butterflies were doing somersaults in my chest.

We leaned back and I looked into Sirius's eyes. Those stupid silver eyes.

"I'm your idiot though," Sirius grinned lopsidedly. His hair was falling into eyes elegantly and his tie was twisted to one side. He was perfect. And mine.

"Yes. Yes you are."

A.N:

Hello! Just wanted to say thank you for the support of this story. I hope you have enjoyed reading it! Please review if you wish, I love hearing from you!
xox