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Chapter 11

Small Steps, Big Leaps

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Why was it that sneaking around with Emma was nothing like sneaking around with Robin? Steeling touches, exchanging looks, chairing jokes just by the strength of a smile, all the things that had been wrong with the thief were right with Emma. They had decided not to tell anyone, but hiding didn't feel like having something shameful to cover, just like sharing a secret. Between Snow, Henry, Robin, Hook and Emma's general fear of people's opinion when it came to her sexuality, the decision had been easy to make and easy to live with.

Emma was still pretty deep in the closet, not even capable of pronouncing the words "gay" or "lesbian" yet. Regina was patient both because she understood and because it didn't really matter to her. They were not dating or in a relationship. They were just seeing each other, spending time with the other without anyone around, and having sex.

That part especially was nice.

Emma was joining her for dinner tonight and Regina had spent a good part of the afternoon cooking. She enjoyed that too. Since Henry wasn't there as often as he use to be, cooking for Emma made her feel useful. Like the good little housewife I am, she joked internally. That was especially untrue since she had bought the horse club and the farm from its previous owner and was now running the all place. Kids were not exactly cuing to get riding lessons with the Evil Queen but Henry was enjoying it and two teenage girls had defied parental authority to come and give it a try.

As she was finishing setting the table, the doorbell rang. Regina straitened her dress and checked her hair before opening.

"Hey."

"Good evening, Miss Swan. Do come in."

"Well, thank you your Majesty," Emma humored as the door closed.

The blondee took of her coat and Regina stooped breathing for a second. Emma was wearing a straight red dress and matched high heels. Her shoulders were bare, if not for two thin straps. Her curly blondee hair was pulled over one shoulder, leaving the left side of her neck visible. Why had no one warned her that this was a date?

Regina made her decision fast. This was Emma's leap of faith, time to take hers. Even if she was absolutely terrified.

"I'm sorry, I'm running a little late. Will you wait for me in the living room. I'll be quick."

"Sure. Take your time."

Emma looked a little disappointed but Regina decided that compliments would be kept for later. She climbed to her bed room and quickly changed out of her casual (well what was casual to her anyway) gray dress and slipped into a black one that went half way to the thighs, with a T neck and a small leg slit. She then magically readjusted her makeup and hair, not wanting to make Emma wait for too long.

As she joined the blondee in the living room her heart was beating hard and fast. She hands were clasped in font of her as she didn't want then shaking. She knew Emma had taken quite a risk and she appreciated it all the more knowing the blondee discomfort toward the nature of their relationship. Emma was afraid, and that made her brave.

"You look beautiful tonight, Miss Swan."

Emma turned to her and a smiled crawled its way to her lips. The blondee blushed a little, looking embarrassed and pleased.

"And you look amazing, Regina. Black is your color."

As they settled to eat, a friendly conversation started. It was always like than, natural and not dipping with heavy feeling and scary words. When it came to feelings, they kept it to the minimum, and that was fine by her. After Daniel, Robin and, in a way, Graham, Regina was more trying to recover from love than looking for it. Emma was a good compromise. She seemed true in her affection but wasn't walking around with her heart on her sleeve, consonantly talking about True Love, Soul Mates or Ever Afters.

"How are Henry's riding lessons going? He speaks of it all the time you now?"

"He is really good with horses. He is patient, listens both to me and the horse, and he's not easily scared. He will make a great rider."

"He also told me he got thrown of his horse. Again."

"Falling is normal, even I still fall from time to time. But I have to admit that the horse might be the problem here. Your father chose it but apparently he's better with sheep than with horses."

"You could just change horses."

"I had the misfortune to suggest it and Henry explained to me in twelve different languages that Apple was family and the family doesn't get left behind."

"Apple? Seriously?"

"Don't look at me like that. He chose the name."

Emma laughed and took another sip of wine. The plates were empty and the fire burning low. A second bottle had been opened and it seemed Emma wasn't done with drinking tonight. Actually, the blondee seemed a little tensed, and Regina couldn't put her finger on why. Looking for an answer, she changed subject.

"How is it going with our friends form Arendelle? Any progress on getting them back home?"

"No, nothing yet. In a way I think Snow is happy they are still here. Elsa doesn't take a lot of space, she is mostly at the library with Belle, trying to figure out a way back. Anna is always trying to help, so that makes juggling being a mayor and a mother a lot easier."

"And the man who speaks to reindeer?" Regina asked.

"He mostly hangs out with David or Robin Ho..."

"With Robin Hood," Regina finished, trying to sound casual and detached. "Well I hope he doesn't bring back the smell."

" Surprisingly, he does shower almost every day."

"Almost being the key word here."

It wasn't working. No matter how casual she wanted to sound, Robin's name still twisted her stomach and made her sad.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Emma asked, looking at her with concern and kindness.

Regina smiled back. The blondee had a way to break through her walls without really damaging anything. Emma had proven herself again, and again, standing by her side when no one else had. In a way, Robin had done that too, but his belief in her was based on his ignorance of her dark side. Emma had seen it all, faced it and fought it, and forgiven her. Or maybe just got over it, accepting that the Regina she had been then, was not the real her.

"Not really. I'm... I use to see him everywhere, in every face, but not any more. I feel like I said goodbye, for good, and now I'm just..."

"Just sad."

Emma's voice was gentle and she was looking at her with great kindness. There was also a little bit of joy there, hidden under the sympathy. Regina couldn't exactly put her finger on why, but she like it. The blondee was seeing right through her and it did make her feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but it was a risk she was willing to take. No more running away.

"Would you follow me outside? There is something I'd like to show you."

Intrigued, Regina followed Emma to the garden, where her tree was continuously growing red apples. It was bitter cold but she immediately felt a warmth radiating from the other woman. Emma was starting to us her magic cleverly. They walked a few steps into the grass, the hills not making it very easy.

"Ok." Emma said, turning to face her, looking a little nervous. "Don't laugh if it doesn't work."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Regina was trying to sound as honest as possible but her old habits had a way to die hard. Emma generally didn't pick up on that, like she knew Regina didn't mean it, but there the brunette saw a spark of hurt in her eyes.

"Go ahead, Emma. I'm listening."

"It's not about listening," Emma answered, raising her palms in front of her.

A light glow covered the blondee's hands, before regrouping at the tips of her fingers. After a second, the light rose from Emma's skin, turning into little golden fireflies. The glows gently flew across the garden, soon joined by dozens of others. The entire scene was turning magical, like the sun had dropped a few tears on the leaves and grass.

"It's beautiful," Regina whispered, mesmerized.

But Emma wasn't done. She picked up something on the ground and held her hands in front of her. It was a glass ball, cupped in her palms. The sphere started glowing a soft blue light and little cracks drew themselves on its surface. With a small fairy sound, the ball bloke into a thousand pieces that each started floating in their own direction. The blue glow of the glass mixed with the golden fireflies, turning the garden into a diamond.

"You did this for me?" Regina said, her heart beating against her chest.

"Yea... I'm not good with words and I'm not exactly... Charming. But thanks to you, I'm a little good at magic."

Emma looked like an idiot. She was uncomfortable, and wide eyed, and incredibly cute. For the second time that night, she was trying really hard to make this special. To make it happen. But Regina wasn't too sure. She had had a lot of heart aches, and she didn't want to be hurt again. She was afraid that the second she would take a step too far, everything would crumble around her. Yet Emma had always been there to catch her when that happened. The blondee encouraged her every time she took a step in the right direction, and treated her like she deserved every time she wondered of the path.

In the end, it all came down to one thing. Did she want this?

Looking at the blondee, with the fireflies glow and the floating glass she felt like she was in the sky itself, flying among the stars. Like the night Tinkerbell had convinced her to go find her true love. Maybe this was her sign? Or maybe she was just thinking too hard.

"You wouldn't happen to have a lion tattoo by any chance?"

"What? No, I don..."

Regina took Emma's face in her hands and kissed her. The second she did, she knew she had taken the right decision. She really, really liked Emma, and there was nothing else to battle with. Maybe the blondee would hurt her, maybe she would be that type of savior that killed the villain, but Regina would take the risk. Chances at a Happy Ending were hard enough to come by, she would not make it even harder by running away when they did happened.

Emma laced her arms around her waist, bringing the two women close. Their breasts were pressing against one another, their hearts betting only a few centimeters a part. The kiss wasn't deep or loving, just feverish and desperate. Like they both wanted to seal that deal before the other backed away.

When their lips partnered, their foreheads collided, nose brushing, breath caressing each others chin. One of Emma's arm left Regina's back, taking one of the brunette's hand in her own. Their fingers laced and a soft glow of purple and gold ran on their skins.

"I think we should have that talk now," Emma said.

"Yes, we do," Regina answered but silence fell down on them for a long moment. "Henry..."

"Henry," Emma echoed, as if it was really the only thing they needed to talk about.

"We can't let him know. Not for now. I don't want him hurt."

"I agree. But... In the long run, if this, us... If we work?"

"If this works, Henry will have both his mother, at the same time."

"But... What if he hates it? What if he thinks it weird and..."

Regina pulled away a little, making Emma's eyes find hers.

"When he was eight, Henry was persuaded that Doctor Hopper and Geppetto were married. And I didn't discover that until his teacher pointed it out to me. Henry didn't see the problem in two men being married, so he never talked about it. It was the most normal thing in the world to him."

"But he is not eight anymore."

"No, he's even smarter now."

Emma nodded. Regina knew there was more to it, and that the blondee wouldn't talk about it on her own. Yet it needed to be said. Or at least she needed it to be said.

"No one has to know for now, Emma. I understand that you're still uncomfortable with the fact that you are gay."

Emma immediately took a step back, like the word was burning her skin.

"This is how it's called. It's just a word and you shouldn't let it have that much power over you."

"But I don't want it. I don't want to be the town's Lesbian Savior or Lesbian Sheriff."

"There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. Don't forget that's only what you are not who you are. You need to keep that in mind because the world will not remind you of it. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."

"Like you did with 'Evil' ?"

"No, like I did with 'Queen'. "

Emma sighed and seem to wonder of in her thoughts. Regina didn't interrupt, she knew the blondee needed to sort things out, to clear the fog. After a long moment and a large of emotions coming an leaving Emma's face, the woman caught her hands and dropped her head, apparently not very satisfied with her conclusions.

"So basically, I'm in the closet..." Emma let out in a very low voice.

"Yes. And there is nothing wrong with that. Especially as our particular position is quite... complicated."

"You mean that you're my mother's step-mother, that you tried to kill my entire family, that we share a son, not to mention the Savior/Evil Queen thing? Yea... I guess things could be simpler..."

A wave of doubt washed over the blondee's face and Regina realized that she was going to have to herself take a leap of faith if she wanted this to work. The took Emma's hands in her own, making the palms face the sky so that the light golden glow would show better.

"In the course of a few weeks," she started, "you got over your fear of magic. You accepted this as a part of yourself a hundred time faster than I did. And this... whatever you feel for me, I know you'll get over it, master it. Like you always do."

Regina wasn't very proud or comfortable with her speech. Snow would have done that a lot better. Yet, Emma smiled, looking touched.

"You forgot something..." Emma said before gently pulling Regina closer to her. "I have an amazing magic teacher."

"Oh really? Do I know her?" Regina teased back, feeling the heat of Emma's breath on her lips.

"Maybe, but you needn't worry, my Queen. She is no where near attractive as you."

Regina grinned as Emma kissed her. No one say those words like that, like it was a compliment and a tease at the same time. Neither of them used pet names but she wouldn't switch "my Queen" for anything else.

Suddenly the fireflies went of and the floating glass fell on the grass, leaving the scene awfully dark.

"Sorry... I must have gotten distracted."

"That all right. We should get back inside anyway." Regina answered, feeling her blood running hot under her skin.

"Let me just pick up the glass first. Don't want Henry walking on it."

Letting go of one of Emma's hand, Regina waited.

"It's not working," the blondee said.

"Calm down, it's probably just... What is that?"

A pale yellow ribbon had appeared on Emma's wrist. At first it simply looked out of place but quickly Regina realized that it was magical. The brunette tried to undo the note, break the ribbon with magic, but nothing was working.

"What the hell is happening?" Emma asked.

"That thing is preventing you from using magic."

"This isn't good is it?"

"I'm afraid not."