In the immortal words of Samuel L. Clemens... "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."

Disclaimer: "Ranma 1/2" is owned by Takahashi Rumiko, used without permission or intent to profit. I'm unsure who owned "Tenchi Muyo", but it falls under the same classifications and restrictions.

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"Chibified"
'Locker Room'
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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He'd never heard the word, wouldn't know what it meant if he did and be completely unable to spell it, but trepidation was the word of the day as Saotome Ranma stood before the crab-nameplated door that led to his grandmother's lab. For the longest time, Ranma had thought only two things could scare him, not just make him worried, but really scare him; Cats and Akane's cooking. Now he knew he could add a third; Jusenkyo would never hold the dark place in his heart that the laboratory of Hibiki Washu - and he made sure to thank every Kami he could think of that his Granny and Ryoga having the same last name was just coincidence and they weren't related at all; he'd even paid Nabiki to check it out just to be sure - held as the birthplace of the most dangerous... things to have ever entered his life.

"We're off to see the Maker, the wonderful Maker of us," the female chibi-Ranma puppet sang as she sat on the left shoulder of the full-sized original.

"Everything Washu-chan gave us, all the knowledge and abilities," the male chibi-Ranma puppet sitting on Ranma's right shoulder sighed, "And you still can't sing worth a flip..."

"At least I've got talent," Chibi-ko snapped.

"Both of you, quit it, okay?" Ranma himself groaned, "Not right in my ears, anyway..."

"Sure thing, Ranma-kun," Chibi-ko cooed.

"Whatever you say," Chibi-ma shrugged.

"Something wrong, Ranma-kun?" Sasame, the youngest of his grandmother's housemates, asked from where she was looking through a cookbook; despite being much younger and having blue hair in pigtails rather than a brown ponytail, she really reminded him of Kasumi a little too much sometimes.

"Uh..." Ranma looked at the door in front of him before answering, "Just a little nervous, I guess. Still not used to Granny Washu's lab."

Sasame giggled, "Tenchi doesn't like going in there either, but you should be safe. After all, you're her family, right?"

"That's not reassuring," Ranma muttered before he opened the door and stepped on through to the other side.

-o0o-

"Good morning, Little Ranma!" A voice greeted cheerily, followed by two higher pitched similar voices who added, "And good morning Chibi-Ranma puppets!"

"Good morning, Chibi-Washu puppets," Chibi-ko and Chibi-ma replied, waving hello.

It wasn't being wrapped in fish sausages and thrown into a pit of hungry cats time after time, day after day for only the Kami would know how long, but Ranma felt the beginnings of a feeling of dread relating to 'chibi-puppets' shoot down his spine.

"Good morning, Gran-" Ranma stopped at the cold glare his grandmother was giving him, he was the Greatest Martial Artist in the world, a certified Godslayer... and somehow, that woman half his size scared him more with a hard look than anyone who had ever threatened his death could at their worst, "Washu-chan."

Washu's expression changed from warning coldness to warm and welcoming, "So, how can I help my favorite grandson today? It has to be something for you to come all the way out here from Tokyo, after all."

"It's these two," Ranma pointed with his thumbs at Chibi-ma and Chibi-ko, "I think something might have been knocked loose or something - they're acting... weird, I guess..."

"Uh-huh," Washu leaned forward on her floating pillow, "And just how weird are they acting, can you tell?"

"Well, they keep... talking," Ranma answered.

"Of course they talk, silly," Washu shook her head, "They're supposed to do that, they're meant to be as life-like as possible in as many respects as they can."

"You're the greatest, Washu-chan!" one of the redheaded scientist's chibi-puppets cheered, only for the other to add, "No one can create like you can, Washu-chan!"

"No, no, not talking," Ranma groaned, "I mean, yeah, they talk... but it's what they're saying, how they're acting..."

"Aaaaand?" Washu drew out the word with a somewhat disturbing grin.

"They keep acting like some kind of sports announcers," Ranma finally managed to grumble.

"That's a problem?" Washu asked.

"Well... I dunno," Ranma finally admitted, "Are they supposed to be doing that?"

"You do a sport, right?"

"I practice the Art," Ranma nodded slowly.

"And you talk about it?"

"Yeah, I guess," Ranma agreed.

Washu gave him a smile that went right up to her eyes, "Then, yes, that's what they're supposed to do! They're based on you for the most part, if you'll remember."

Ranma's eyes widened and he looked from one chibi-Ranma puppet to the other, "That's... in me?"

"Yes!" Washu informed him, causing her grandson to look at her... and promptly faint, his chibi-puppets jumping away as he fell to the floor.

While Chibi-ma leant over Ranma and tried to shake him back to consciousness, Chibi-ko looked around and exclaimed, "Somebody get the medics in here! The champ is down!"