Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and ...Honestly, I'm not sure who owns Tenchi Muyo anymore, really... each being used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.
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"Chibified"
'No Holds Barred'
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
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The sight had become commonplace in Nerima, Saotome Ranma would be targeted by a fiance or rival and they would appear; one-eighth his size and looking respectively like his natural-male and curse-based-female forms, bringing with them chairs and a table, providing in-depth commentary on whatever fight was happening and known by the names of 'Chibi-ma' and 'Chibi-ko' The only explanation anyone was ever able to get out of Ranma were mutterings about his grandmother being a genius and he was the only sane person in his family. Some people enjoyed the commentaries, some people thought they were just another drop of stupidity and insanity in the bucket, and some people became offended by them, but the closest anyone had come to stopping them had been a threat by Nabiki during a late-night fight between Ranma and Happosai that had gotten too loud between the commentary and the actual fight for her to sleep through it. The idea that Chibi-ko, the female chibi-Ranma puppet, had actually been supporting Happosai in the fight was one that no one wanted to think too hard about. Chibi-ma had suggested afterwards that his 'sister' took a little too much after the females on Nodoka's side of the family; that is Ranma-kun's mother herself, his aunt, and as well the Cutest Scientist in the Universe that had created the chibi-puppets. No one who had met any of them had seen fit to argue the point.
Probably the denizens of Nerima most welcoming to the chibi-puppets were the local food carts; where before people had vacated areas whenever Ranma and any rivals or fiances were present at the same time, with the arrival of the chibi-Ranma puppets, some brave souls actually stuck around to listen to their commentary and the food cart vendors had quickly discovered that these brave souls often desired refreshments when the fights took time. That day's apparent match-up was the kind that did good business for the food carts; the reigning champion of the Nerima Wrecking Crew - Ranma himself - was being challenged by the Chinese master of hidden weapons - Mousse.
Without any kind announcer or referee - no one was that brave... or stupid - it was Chibi-ko who decided to start things off, "This is a no-holds-barred match-"
"Wait a second," Chibi-ma interrupted, "Ranma-kun practices Anything Goes Martial Arts... Every match is technically a no-holds-barred match."
"As I was saying, this is a no-holds-barred match, weapons are not only permitted, they're encouraged - I want to see steel chairs to the face and some two-by-fours getting busted over people's heads, folks!"
"Ranma-kun doesn't use weapons," Chibi-ma reminded his partner.
"Well, hold on a minute, then," Chibi-ko frowned, "If Ranma-kun doesn't use weapons, does he really practice Anything Goes or is it just 'Almost Anything Goes'?"
Chibi-ma rolled his eyes, "I don't know, -ko. Why don't you ask your friend Happosai since he founded the style?"
"Come on, what have you got against Happosai?"
"He's a pervert and a panty-thief," Chibi-ma accused, "I don't see how someone who's supposed to technically be female can support him."
"Hey, humanity would never have survived if it wasn't for the perverts," Chibi-ko countered, "They all called Kinsey a pervert, but if it weren't for him, we'd all still be stuck in-"
"Don't finish that sentence!" Chibi-ma shouted, "Seriously, I'm starting to think you want us to get in trouble!"
"Ranma-kun's opponent is a guy whose secret weapon is a toddler's toilet training potty," Chibi-ko pointed out, "And he throws it at people. Between that and Nabiki's idea of amatuer photography, I'm a saint! Ranma-kun never sees a sen from those pictures you know. In fact; you know what? Somebody call a lawyer, I say he should license his image and sue for back royalties!"
Ten feet away, Ranma and Mousse hadn't actually begun to fight after Mousse had launched his traditional chain-based opening move and Ranma had dodged. Instead, the Chinese male stared in confusion at the chibi-Ranma puppets and shook his head.
"Are those things always that... vocal?" he finally found the words to ask.
Ranma groaned, "You have no idea; it's like if my life wasn't already crazy enough, it now gets a pair of arguing narrators. My grandmom had to be nuts to build those things... especially with her having her own set of them already..."