9.
People say you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.
Z
When I woke up, I was even more tired than when I went to bed. I had slept longer than I planned, and the sun was streaming through the thin curtains. That only added to the pounding in my head that had developed overnight from exhaustion and anger.
I pulled myself up with a groan and tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. I had hoped all of that was just a bad dream, but because I was curled on a towel so the dirty sheets in the tiny, nasty room in greasy hotel of the prostitute and crack dealer frequented variety didn't touch my skin, I was going to say it happened.
I risked a scalding hot shower in the mildewed bathroom. After drying off, I planned on taking my time to get back to the factory where Han and Gisele were sure to be. That all changed when I saw a roach bigger than my thumb and got a good look around my new living quarters in the daylight. I was out of there like the place was on fire.
I snuck in the door of the factory like nothing was wrong. No one noticed me except for Brian who had taken my place working on the Supra. I exchanged a quiet greeting with him before I grabbed a wrench and silently started tuning the engine while he tried to undo the damage done by the column. I kept sneaking glances up to the platform. Everyone was there aside from Han, who was taking the Impreza around the course.
"You're here late." Brian finally said to make small talk.
"Overslept." I answered lamely.
"Usually you're here first." He comment. I didn't answer. "Han was looking for you."
"I don't know why." I answered innocently. Brian seemed to understand that I wanted him to shut up and left me to tune the cars. I shoved my earbuds in my ears and cranked the volume up on my ipod to block everything else out.
Just three more days of this, and then I was off.
Z
I was loosening the suspension on the Porsche like Brian wanted when I noticed a pair of boots standing next to the 370 Z. I quickly turned my head back to what I was doing and pretended I hadn't noticed. Han apparently wasn't falling for it, as the next thing I saw was him kneeling down to talk to me. Before I could register what was happening, he pulled my earbuds out of my ears by the cord and kept pulling until they detached from my ipod.
"Everyone's gone to lunch." Han said slowly.
"I'm not hungry." I responded bitterly. I kept working like he wasn't there.
"Just talk to me. We can work it out." He said soothingly. I felt a flare of blinding rage. Before I knew what had happened, I had dropped the wrench I was using and was out from under the car standing in front of him drawn up to my full height. I could feel the flush spread across my cheeks. Han stepped back to lean on the Z.
"I don't really see that happening" I said evenly. It took a huge amount of self control to keep from screaming at him.
"It was just a little spat-" Han said defensively.
"Did you not notice I packed my shit and left or were you too busy fucking that Israeli -" I called Gisele a word that made Han's jaw drop.
"Okay, I just think you should calm down and-"
"Shut the fuck up, you god damned man whore!" I yelled. "I told your broken ass in that shit hole hospital that when you stepped out, so did I. That apparently isn't enough to stop you from being a slut! Is she the first or has there been a countless string of others like usual?"
I took a shaky breath as my heart started hammering so loud I could hear it in my ear drums.
"Did you not believe me when I said I would leave you, or did you just not care?"
"And where do you think you're going to go? Go back to Colombia and clean out our account?" He spat.
"You know, you might suck at hiding your side deals, but I don't" Shock spread out across his face. "I've had a multi-million dollar business set up overseas for years. I don't need a penny from you or anybody else."
"You kept this from me?" He yelled. His eyes flashed angrily and he started looking livid.
"I know how you are with your business partners, Han. I had to have some sort of back up." He flinched like I had slapped him. "And like you don't have some way to rake in cash that I don't know about? I know you can't be happy with what we're making in Colombia." He shook his head at me.
He stood up straight from his place leaning against the Z and came to stand directly in front of me. I found my eyes burning as they started filling with tears and my throat tightening up. He placed his hands on my shoulders right as the first tears fell.
"Did you not trust me at all?" He asked slowly. I could tell he was furious, but he was holding it in.
"I guess not." I answered slowly. "I always wondered if I was just a roommate to you."
The anger and my energy started to get sucked out of me, leaving a crushing sadness in their place. I felt a few more tears drip. After letting go of me he sighed and ran and hand through his hair.
"So what happens now?" He asked in frustration.
"I go to Moscow and you go back to fucking Gisele and whoever else you have on the side." I answered bitterly. He looked at me in shock and for a split second I thought I saw hurt in his eyes.
"What?" He asked breathlessly. I heard a noise and turned to see Dom standing off to the side looking like he wished he were anywhere but there.
"You make your choices and you don't look back." I told him even though more tears were threatening to spill. Spinning on my heel to hide them, I fled.
Z
"Tequila." I told the bartender.
I tapped my fingers restlessly on the counter of the bar as I scanned the crowd of people around me. I was at a beachside bar at one of the resorts, so the people around me were mostly tourist in their bathing suits getting cocktails to drink while they tanned. I felt very out of place in my shorts and tank top, but at the moment, I didn't care.
The bartender returned with my shot glass fairly quickly, and for a moment I just started at it. I knew this was the worst way to handle things, but I wasn't in the mood for caring.
I didn't want to admit it, but my life had been combined with Han's for such a long time, it was going to be extremely difficult to start over without him. In Tokyo, he had just been a crush, then he moved to friend with benefits. That had all changed when we wound up in Colombia. Without all the physical stuff, he had just become my best friend and after that, we progressed to whatever we were. I was beginning to wonder if he saw our relationship as I did, or if I was just his roommate and business partner. I hadn't realized how much I actually cared until this.
I was in love with him; it was the frustrating, and inconvenient truth that I wanted to bury. I should have figured that out sooner, but for some reason it never crossed my mind.
I grabbed the shot and downed it, welcoming the burn of alcohol.
"I had you pegged for a glass of wine kinda girl." Someone joked. I looked over to see Mia sliding onto the stool beside me.
"Not quite." I muttered without looking at her as I signaled to the bartender for another one. "Dom send you?"
"Yep." She said shortly.
"How much did he hear?"
"All of it."
"Wonderful." I said sarcastically. I took my second shot.
"Ya wanna slow down on those?" She asked. I turned around to see her staring at me with raised eyebrows.
"That was my second and I'm done." I told her. She didn't reply.
We sat there silently for a second watching the waves hit the shore and the people scattered across the beach. I peeked at her out of the corner of my eye and saw her staring wistfully at the small kids playing on the edges of the waves with their dads standing protectively nearby. She bit her lip deep in thought as she watched a couple walk down the sand swinging their small daughter between them.
"Did you ever want kids with Han?" She said slowly.
"No." I answered quickly. "I wouldn't know what to do with one, and I can't see Han as a daddy." She didn't reply. "You know Dom told me." I finally said. It felt weird to know someone's secret when they didn't know you knew it.
"Really?" She asked with a smile. "Well, you were going to find out in a few days anyway."
"Yeah, I'm not sure if I should stay." I murmured. Her head snapped around to me.
"You're family now; even if it didn't work with you and Han." I twitched at the reminder. "Hell, you've pulled your own weight a lot more than some of the boys have." She said to cheer me up when she noticed my slip in composure. It worked a little.
We lapsed into a quiet silence. I tilted my head back a little and let the sun warm my face. I closed my eyes and listened to the waves crash at the shore and the sound of people splashing in the water. I took a deep breath and enjoyed the smell of the salt.
"You seem a lot happier now. Must be the tequila." Mia joked. I let out a humorless laugh.
"I love the beach. Always have." I replied.
"Then why are you heading to Moscow?" She asked with a laugh.
"Why does anyone go to Moscow? Cold weather, vodka, Russian guys with the accent." She laughed at my stupid joke. "I got the same summons the people here got from Dom."
"A job?" She asked.
"Yeah. It seems to be more of a humanitarian effort than anything else, but I'll see when I get there." I answered.
"Would you have gone if you and Han were still together?" She asked slowly. I looked at my empty shot glass, but I could still see her watching me out of the corner of my eyes.
"It's my family." That was all the answer I needed to give; I knew she understood.
"You know when asked you 'what happens now', I think he meant 'how do we fix this'." She threw out randomly. I looked at her to see an unreadable expression on her face.
"I'm not so sure." I replied. Not being able to take it anymore, I looked back at the ocean.
"You know, you're the first girl anyone's ever seen Han get hung up over. You two just fit together. I think he just forgot." She gave me a minute to process this information.
"It only took him a couple of days to find another girl." An exasperated sigh slipped out. "He's always been like that; he stays with one until he finds the next one. After that, the first is history."
"Then why'd you stay?" Mia asked a little bit harshly.
"When I really started to care about him-and I mean really care, none of that teenage crush crap- he was not a playboy. He had been in a bad car wreck and was stuck in a hospital, completely unable to take care of himself. When I wasn't getting a house and a garage set up, I was sitting with him. I had time to really get to know him, and not just the club owner and ladies' man he was." I paused to take a deep breath. "Tequila. Another." I yelled at the bartender.
"Thought you were stopping." Mia commented sarcastically.
"One more won't hurt." I replied right before I downed my refilled glass. Mia shook her head.
"You obviously love him. Why won't you try to fix it?" Mia yelled in exasperation. She caught the attention of a few nearby people.
"Do you really think this will be the last time?" I asked. The bottom half of my vision started to swim as I began tearing up. Mia pressed her lips together. "I'm just tired of coming in second with the people I care about."
"So what are you going to do now?" Mia asked after a silence.
"Well, It's not even two in the afternoon, and I'm drinking tequila and crying at a bar." I paused. "I think I need to go home." Mia laughed." and then I guess I'll go back and face it. It's only for a few days."
"Why don't you let me drive you back." Mia suggested. "I'll stay until you clean yourself up and we can go back together." I left some money on the bar and hopped off my stool.
"Alright, but if something in my hotel room eats you it's not my fault."
Z
Being back at the factory wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I worked with Leo and Dom as we tried to do anything possible to get the cars a little faster. Dom had given me a small, barely noticeable shoulder squeeze, and then walked away without commenting.
Han had been easy to avoid. He had been behind the wheel of the Impreza almost the whole time. Gisele was another story. The girl had no shame. I had been beside Tej and Rome watching the camera, before she walked in and greeted me just like she did before. I wanted to hit her, but I reminded myself I was not in the barrio anymore and just ignored her.
Finally, Han slid to a stop and stepped completely out of the car. His piercing gaze found me off to the side, and I made myself look away. After finding out he still got caught by the camera, he finally looked away and shook his head.
"Close, but not enough.:"
"Dom, the window's just too small, man. The only way we're going to be able to do this is if we had invisible cars." He said in frustration.
"Alright." Dom said after a moment of thought "I know just where to get some."
I glanced at Dom out of the corner of my eye in confusion. Dom's expression remained confident and smug, so I amused he had it all figured out and went back to working on the car and blocking everything out.
"Boys, let's go for a ride." He said. The guys started to glance around at each other in confusion, but prepared to leave anyway. "You too." He said to me with a slap on the shoulder.
Z
For the first time in life, I would choose to be anywhere else on the planet than stealing cars. Cop cars, at that. It made the thought so much more worrying.
Han and I still weren't speaking. It was a lot easier to not speak to him since he had chosen to ride shotgun instead of in the back of the van- next to Gisele who was driving.
Butterflies began fluttering in my stomach when I saw the high fence rising up through the windshield down the road. The boys opened the door pulled themselves up on the top of the van without a problem, but being a foot shorter than every one of them, I had difficulty. Brian hauled me all the way up on the truck by my forearm. I gave him a quick smile before focusing on the fence quickly approaching.
"Don't hurt yourself." Gisele called. I was pretty sure she was talking to me.
"Yo shorty. You think you can make that jump?" Rome asked with a flash of white teeth in the dark. No.
"We're about to find out." I said jokingly to cover up my anxiety. I was not in a place to show weakness right now.
Before I was ready, the fence was no longer in the in the distance. I knew I wasn't coordinated. Most of the people on top of the van knew I wasn't coordinated from watching me bounce off anything I could find with a corner or slip as I walked up the concrete steps. I felt Rome get a solid grip on the back of my shirt and I felt a lot more comfortable doing this.
I wasn't paying attention to who went first; I just jumped when the people in front of me where no longer on top of the van. I sailed across easily, but did not sick the landing. I was grateful for Rome's steadying grip on me and the support he gave me on the jump down.
I dropped to a crouching run with the guys the second my feet touched down and Rome let go. I quickly caught up with Dom and Brian across the lot at the new Chargers. I quickly broke into the first and had it started for Dom. I did the same for the rest and crawled over the center console to sit shotgun on the fourth.
I made eye contact with Han as reached the third as slid in. A pang went through my chest when he pulled off and Rome got in with me, but I ignored it.
"Not bad, girl." Rome said loudly with a laugh. I gave him a thin, forced smile. "Now watch this." He said as he slammed his foot down on the gas.
We pulled up at the line way right after Han did.
"Hey Rome, what took you so long? I thought for sure you were going to show up with some chrome spinners or something." Brian joked from the end Charger with a mile wide smile. Rome laughed sarcastically.
"Real funny." Brian started cracking up at his own joke. Rome shook his head and grabbed the microphone." I was just telling Eliana here that I was about to take all ya'll in the next quarter mile for a hundred thousand dollars." He replied cockily. I felt a smile spread across my face even though Han was staring at us from the next car. This was going to be fun after all.
"Like your broke ass has got a hundred grand." Brian yelled back still laughing.
"We pull off this job I will." Rome shot back in the microphone. I felt my smile pull wider. "Next two lights. A hundred thousand."
"We don't pull of this job we're probably dead anyway." Han yelled. "Let's make it a million."
"Hey, I like that! Million dollar quarter mile." Brian yelled back.
"You only live once. Let's do it." Rome seconded.
"What do ya say, Dom?" Brian asked.
"Are we talking or we racing?" Dom's deep voice rumbled.
Excitement coursed through me as I settled back into my seat. Rome took on the most serious expression I had ever seen cross his face. My lips turned up in amusement at the sight. He spared one glance at the other drivers before focusing everything on the road again. He got distracted once more as he looked over the dash before finding the police lights and flipping them on, which made me laugh.
A few seconds before the light turned green we were off. The power of the Charger's engine pushed me back against the seat. I started to laugh again when I saw how far ahead we were. That didn't last long though as the others flew past.
"I wanna get this money. I'm hungry!" Rome yelled out as we drove.
Rome swung behind the others, to dodge some parked cars as Brian did the same. The second the road was clear again, we were sort of back to four wide. It was a main drag race between the two in front, with a third guys swerving behind them. I had lost track of who was who when the cars started shuffling. We got right to the end of the lights when the lead car suddenly slid back enough for the second to pass.
"Was that Brian or Dom?" I asked with a grin. "All I saw was tail lights." I added teasingly. He looked at me and scoffed.
"That was Brian."
"Think he noticed Dom let off on the throttle?" I asked mischievously. Rome just snickered and shook his head.
"We gonna find out."
Z
The disconnection from my current set of problems ended when I stepped out of the car. Han and Rome had a quick, muffled exchange while Dom congratulated Brian. I slipped off to grab some wire cutters to start ripping out the GPS while they talked. I couldn't help but giggle when Brian was left second guessing himself with a hilarious expression on his face.
"Did he really let off the throttle?" He asked me in a dazed voice.
"All I saw was tail lights." I answered to avoid adding to the insults Rome just used. We shared a laugh when Rome flipped me off from the platform before he left me alone to work.
Z
I woke up on the couch feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I slowly sat up. Something warm felt away from me, and I looked to see I had been wrapped in Han's sweat shirt. It took me forever to notice that Han was leaning on the pipe railing surrounding the platform. His dark eyes were zeroed in on me. The rest of his face remained completely expressionless except for a tenseness in his jaw.
I looked around to see no one else. It must have been really early.
"How long have I been out?" I asked.
"An hour." He replied.
"That's another hour the cops had to track us." I muttered as I hauled myself up to finish ripping the GPS out of the last car.
"Dom did it for you." He said quickly.
"Oh." There was a lull in the conversation where neither of us could think of something to say.
"Why Moscow?" He asked after a while.
"My family asked me to go." I answered slowly.
"After all this?"
"I'll be doing behind the scenes grunt work. They won't get caught." Han dropped eye contact and got quiet again. I took this as my queue to go home and take a shower.
I made it down the stairs before Han called out to me again.
"Mia didn't tell me where you where, but she said you weren't safe there. If you want to go home, I can sleep here." He asked slowly.
I couldn't believe Han just offered to sleep on the couch of an old car factory to give me the house. He must have cared a whole lot more than I thought.
"Han, I'm going to be okay." I told him quietly. He nodded.
"I know."
Z
The finality of tomorrow set in as I sat on the fringe of the barbeque listening to Santos and Leo argue of Leo's horrible grilling skills. I wasn't an overdramatic, touchy feely kinda girl, but right now I felt like my heart had been ripped out. Han obviously felt bad too, because he kept sneaking glances at me from his place on the couch with Rome and Tej.
Finally he pulled himself up, grabbed two beers and crossed the floor to me. He sat down silently beside me without looking at me. I cracked my beer open and took a swig without a word; there was nothing we could say to each other at this point.
After a long moment of watching the rest of the crew interact, Han turned to face me. I felt his eyes bore into the side of my face as he gauged my stony expression.
"You know I didn't mean for this to happen." He muttered. I closed my eyes and hoped he didn't notice that I rolled them.
"It was going to happen at some point, Han." He winced.
"I did care about you, Elle." I didn't reply.
The silence became suffocating. Suddenly uncomfortable sitting on my chair, I started shifting my weight restlessly. Han turned to say something to me, but was cut off when my phone started ringing. I stood and quickly yanked it out of the pocket. Harper's name flashed across the screen.
"Harper?" I asked.
"Eliana. I need you on the next plane out of Rio." Harper's accent was so choked with tears I could barely understand her.
"What's going on?" The blood drained from my face. Han knew something was wrong and shifted in his chair to fully face me.
"He's shot." She slurred off in a scramble of German syllables. "They don't think he's going to make it."
"Who's shot?" I yelled. My heart started pounding in my ears. "You have to speak English." I felt everyone's attention on me, but I didn't care.
"Anton." She muttered sadly.
Harper was originally from Berlin, but she married an English man when she was really young. It was not a happy marriage, and she left him to join dad's crew. She had been an almost item with Anton for years, but never actually had anything with him.
"How?" I asked quickly. The need to take control of the situation over rode the hurt I felt at Anton's injury. Harper needed someone to not break down with her right now.
"He beat one of our mark's guys in a street race and he didn't handle defeat well. Demyan already had his guy painted up as defending himself and they are pressing charges on Anton. When they do, they'll find out about everything else. "
I slumped back in my chair. This would get law enforcement's attention on the whole team. Unless we started working on discrediting the guy immediately, we wouldn't be able to ever. If we didn't do it now the guy got away with everything.
"You should go." I turned to stare at Dom. "Vince can take your spot. Sounds like they need you a hell of a lot more than we do." I nodded.
"Thank you." I told him. "Harper, I'll be on the next flight. Wait for me." I hung up and dropped my head in my hands. A large, warm hand slid across my shoulder and I glanced over to see Han staring at me. His hand slid off of me when I stood to say my goodbyes.
"Gonna miss you, baby girl." Rome wrapped me big bear hug.
"Good luck." Tej said as he shook my hand.
Santos and Leo hugged me next, with Mia and Brian following behind. I discreetly told Mia good luck so no one would hear before she announced it. I got quick hug from Dom, who had apparently been told by Mia why I was leaving for Moscow. I gave Gisele a nod and started walking for the exit.
Han met me almost there. He pulled me in an awkward, stiff hug. It made me feel even worse to know I wasn't the last woman pressed against him.
"Be careful." He said. I nodded before pulling away from him, only for him to pull me back by my sleeve. "Maybe we'll see each other again in different circumstances." He said awkwardly.
"Maybe. I hope not." I replied just as awkwardly. "Goodbye Han." His grip loosened on my sleeve and I walked away.
Z
The lights of Rio spun the plane banked around the statue of Jesus that watched over the city. This was very similar to saying goodbye and leaving Tokyo, but this time it felt so different. For the first time in my life, I would be truly alone when I started my life over. The thought scared me.
I felt so hollow walking away from Han with nothing but a duffel bag of clothes, but I knew it was for the best. Even if we could work things out, things wouldn't be the same: I was a liar, and he was cheat. That might never change.
The city below me disappeared completely as the plane climbed above the clouds.
Moscow here I come. I thought bitterly.