Nine – Double Entendre

Amy liked to think that she knew her Doctor pretty well. They'd been travelling together for a while now, spending every single day in each other's company, and she'd known him practically her whole life. Even if he was an ancient alien and she was a mere mortal, she felt like she understood him. She was beginning to recognise the distant look he got when something reminded him of his painful past and he kind of just shut down so he wouldn't have to grieve. She knew that he rambled when he was stalling for time, but she also knew he did it partly because he just loved to show off by talking about things that made sense to no one but him. She recognised the fact that he got excited by the prospect of a challenge, but that he was terrified of anyone being hurt because of him. She knew that he carried the weight of a million things she could never possibly understand on his old shoulders, but that he could fix everyone else's problems almost as easily as he fixed up his stupid bowtie. She lived for that look he gave her and only her, the one where his smile reached his eyes right before he leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead, the one that said I'm so proud of you, my magnificent Amelia Pond. Her good old Raggedy Doctor, who worked so hard to solve the world's problems and made sure he never had time to dwell on his own. He'd taken her out of boring, little Leadworth and shown her the stars, and because of that she was certain he could do anything. Amy trusted him with her life, whole heartedly. But she wondered, sometimes, if he trusted himself with it.

She sat beside River on the front steps of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, her elbow resting on her knee and her chin propped up on her fist, eyes following the Doctor as he paced in front of them. He kept throwing her worried glances out of the corner of his eye, and she kept trying to ask him what was wrong, but he just shushed her and kept on pacing, muttering incomprehensibly to himself.

"Leave him," River said softly, "He's alright. Just trying to figure things out."

"Like how to get rid of the Daleks?" James asked, skipping down from the entrance hall and plonking himself down beside Amy. He held out a plate piled high with chicken sandwiches and Cornish pasties.

River grabbed a sandwich and took a bite before saying, "Right now, he's wondering who could have had the knowledge of how to hi-jack a Time Portal, and trying to decide if that action alone would have been disruptive enough to rip a hole in the universe."

"Do you ever listen to yourself talk and then think, wow, what am I even saying?" Sirius asked, appearing beside James and yanking the plate out of his hands. He held it out to Amy with a flirtatious smile, she took a sandwich, and he spread himself out languidly on the steps with the plate resting on his stomach. He put a whole pastie in his mouth and said, "Because I've been inside your space ship and I still don't understand what's happening here."

"Coming from the boy who uses a twig to cast magic spells," Amy muttered, rolling her eyes.

River teased, "Don't worry, it's all a bit complicated; I wouldn't expect you boys to understand."

"Hey now!" Both Sirius and James sat up straight, the former nearly knocking the food onto the ground in the process. James continued, "I understand perfectly. Just because Sirius is as thick as a post -"

"Oi, everyone knows I'm the cleverest of our group," Sirius protested.

"He's deluded," James said in a faux conspiratorial voice to Amy, gently nudging her in the ribs with his elbow. "He thinks he's the best looking out of our group, too -"

"Ahem," Sirius interrupted, looking down his nose at James. "I know I'm the best looking in the school."

"Oh, of course you are!" James said with a sarcastic laugh. "And I suppose you're Quidditch captain and Head Boy, too."

Sirius smiled lopsidedly and relaxed back on the steps. "Nah, I was offered the rolls but turned 'em down – didn't want the rest of the guys getting too jealous of my natural skill. Thought it was bad enough that they already had to come second in everything else."

James laughed and punched him firmly in the arm. "You twat."

Amy smirked at the ego contest and asked, "What's Quidditch?"

"Only the best sport in the world!" James exclaimed, his hazel eyes lighting up. "Two teams flying around a stadium, trying to throw a ball called a quaffle through hoops at either end to score, all the while dodging bludgers and waiting for the seeker to catch the golden snitch -"

"Whoa," Amy held a hand out. "None of that makes any sense to me. But did you say flying?"

"Yeah, flying," Sirius answered, "You know, on a broom."

Amy turned to River and gripped her knee, grinning excitedly. "They fly on broomsticks! Just like in the stories, River, can you believe it? This is mad."

"Is that a compliment where you're from, 'mad'?" James inquired.

Sirius answered him, "Nah mate, I think it means she thinks we're bonkers."

"Some of us, maybe," James said with a smile.

"The best always are." Sirius grinned back.

River laughed and put her hand on top of Amy's. "It's pretty impressive here, I will admit."

"Doesn't it get uncomfortable, riding a broomstick?" Amy asked, tilting her head to the side.

Sirius leant over towards her and arched an eyebrow. "Not if you're already used to having something incredibly large between your legs."

"Ha!" James laughed and pushed him away. "Like your boyfriend's -"

He was quickly cut off by Sirius exclaiming, "Watch what you say in front of the ladies, Prongs! Where are your manners?"

"I'm not the one thinking with the smaller head," James retorted.

"You always do have such a fat head, as Lily loves to point out," Sirius replied, smirking at his mate.

"Yes, girls, you're both very pretty," River drawled, rolling her eyes at the teenage boys.

"Doctor!" Amy called out excitedly, ignoring the scene going on beside her. "Doctor, they use broomsticks to fly here! Isn't that just mad?!"

The Doctor looked up at Amy, his eyes quickly scanning her face, and then he sprang forward and pulled her up off the steps into standing position. River immediately jumped to her feet as the Doctor spun Amy around in a circle, scanning her with his sonic as he did so. When she was facing him again he stopped her by gripping her shoulders, and rested his forehead against hers.

"Amy," he breathed, "You really shouldn't have let the Dalek see you."

"I know," she said sulkily, lowering her eyes. "You've already told me, and I've already apologised."

"Yes," the Doctor said, planting a quick kiss on the top of her head and stepping back. "And I'm very glad you have a thing for costumes, because now you're going to need to dress up."

"I do not have a thing for costumes," Amy protested.

"Kiss-o-gram," the Time Lord said pointedly, and she immediately clamped her mouth shut and glared at him.

"What's a kiss-o-gram?" Sirius asked, hauling himself to his feet. "Sounds like something I'd be interested in."

"How did you explain it, Amy? You go to parties in costumes and kiss people?" The Time Lord said, just to annoy her.

At the astonished and intrigued looks James and Sirius gave her, Amy snapped, "It's a laugh! Or it was. I don't do that anymore."

River said breathily, "You can get paid for doing that? Oh, all those wasted opportunities. I'd be rich if I'd charged…"

Amy couldn't tell from her tone if she was joking; she had a feeling that the other woman was serious, so she giggled, covering her astonished expression with her hands. River smirked as the Doctor turned away from her, looking thoroughly uncomfortable, and straightened his bowtie. How someone as flirty as River Song could end up with someone as easily embarrassed as the Doctor, Amy wasn't sure, but the way the two of them interacted made her sure that they were a couple – maybe not now, but definitely in the future.

"What sort of costumes?" Sirius asked Amy seductively.

"Never mind about that!" Amy said, thoroughly annoyed. "What costume do I have to wear now, Doctor?"

At that moment Lily came out onto the front steps, looking a bit stressed. Her emerald green eyes darted across each member of the group before settling on James. She gave him a small smile before sighing, "James, Dumbledore's called an emergency prefect meeting, we need you in here."

"Lily! Just the girl I wanted to see," The Doctor said happily, and she turned her head to smile at him. He beamed back as he told her, "We're going to need to borrow one of your uniforms."

[[…]]

Hogwarts was huge, and all of the corridors looked the same, and Amy wondered if it had taken Lily the entire six years she'd been attending the school to figure out how to get anywhere. Around every corner there stretched another long, grey hallway lined with wooden doors and maybe some windows that offered stunning views of the Scottish countryside, but there weren't any people, and even though daylight was illuminating their path Amy thought there was almost something creepier about an abandoned school during the day than at night. Professor McGonagall had said that all the students were in their common rooms; safely tucked away while the staff tried to get rid of the Death Eaters. But as she followed Lily through Hogwarts, she thought that the safest place for anyone to be was undoubtedly right beside the Doctor. Amy was so busy wondering what big scheme he'd thought up to save everyone this time that she didn't recognise where her doppelganger had led her until her foot was already in the air, poised to step onto the very same staircase that had moved her away from the Doctor the previous night.

"They're – the stairs, they're not going to move again, are they?" She hesitated, looking up to see which landing the staircase was attached to.

"Oh, did they move on you last time?" Lily gave her a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry, we should be fine now. Even if they do move, as long as we're on the same staircase together, we'll be right."

Not wanting to be left on her own again, Amy quickly stepped up off the landing and followed Lily up the stairs. "So that's normal, then - Moving staircases?" She asked, keeping a tight grip on the railing the entire time.

"At Hogwarts, yeah. Tricks the first years quite a bit, but you get used to it." Lily threw a reassuring smile over her shoulder. "It's amazing, the things that can seem normal if you experience them long enough."

"Oh, I know all about that," Amy replied, smiling as she thought of all the impossible things she'd got to experience with the Doctor.

"Ah, of course you do! You're used to travelling through space, magic probably isn't all that impressive compared to some of the things you've seen." Lily didn't even stumble as the staircase gave a sudden lurch and swung sideways. She turned round to face Amy and said, "Sorry, just hold on to the railing and you'll be right."

"Yeah." Amy's grip on the bannister was so tight that her knuckles had gone white. "Magic is still pretty impressive."

With a slight thud the staircase settled at a new landing. Amy hurriedly followed Lily up and back onto solid, unmoving ground, and started when she saw a familiar painting in front of her.

"Newt strings," Lily declared nonsensically, striding over to the huge portrait and looking straight at the overweight woman lounging in it.

"This painting," Amy said, standing just behind Lily and pointing at the intrigued looking subject, "I saw it last night. It swung open and – and James stepped out of it."

"Lily, I wasn't aware you had an identical twin!" The painted woman said, giving them a charitable smile.

"We're not twins," Amy corrected.

At the same time Lily said, "I don't." The two girls shared a glance before the younger one continued, "It's a long story, and we're in a bit of a hurry, so can you please let us in?"

"There's been so much gossip around the castle the past few weeks, what with you disappearing like that!" The woman in the picture seemed oblivious, waving a bloated hand around her head as she prattled on. "Hogwarts has never seen such drama before!"

"Yes, it's all very exciting," Lily sighed. "Can we please get in to the common room?"

The lady crossed her arms and huffed, "Well excuse me for trying to make polite conversation!"

"Newt strings," Lily repeated, more pointedly this time, and the portrait swung forwards to reveal a giant hole in the wall.

Amy caught a glimpse of a scowl on the painted woman's face as she stepped into the opening. "A secret entrance," she breathed.

"Protected by the Fat Lady," Lily said with a shake of her head. "She can be such a pain. The password's Newt strings, by the way, in case you need to get in here later on."

Amy began to ask, "Where does it lead?"

But before she could finish the question they were out of the short tunnel and being swarmed by people, all crying out and pushing and shouting; "Lily's back!" "I told you they weren't just rumours!" "Are they all back then?" "Where have you been, Lily?" "What's with the double, again? I've forgotten." "Yeah, can you explain what's going on?" "Have the Death Eaters left?"

"Everyone be quiet!" Lily yelled authoritatively, and a hush fell over the crowd of students. She gestured for them to create some space, and they all shuffled a few steps back. She pushed her hair back off her face – a habit of James's, Amy had noticed – and said, "Okay, we're in a hurry so I'm going to keep it short; The Marauders and I, we're all back, safe. Amy and the Doctor took us on a… trip. The Death Eaters haven't moved, but the Doctor has a plan and everything's going to be fine, so just stay calm."

"What's the plan?" A pretty blonde haired girl asked, pushing her way through to the front of the crowd.

"Marlene!" Lily's face lit up and she rushed forward to give the girl a hug.

"Long time no see," Marlene smirked when they parted. "You go running off in a space ship and don't even invite me -"

"Aw, you know it wasn't like that," the redhead said sadly. "I'm so sorry."

Marlene shrugged. "It's fine, I knew you'd come back eventually. You only just got the job of Head Girl, as if you were going to give up it," she joked. "Now what do you need us to do?"

Lily turned back around to face the bewildered Amy, who had inadvertently gotten herself into a staring competition with the congregation of students standing in front of her. "Amy, what did the Doctor tell you?"

Amy blinked and looked from the crowd to Lily and back again. "Ah, the Professors have told you to stay in your common rooms, right?" She waited for the students to nod before continuing on. "Well ignore that, because the Doctor wants each of you stationed at a window, with your wands, ready to act on his signal."

"But the professors said it's not safe out there!" A small pre-teen girl with her hair in pigtail-plaits squeaked, hands tucked up inside the sleeves of her jumper.

"Okay, on second thoughts, maybe the eleven year olds can stay in here," Amy said.

"Right, so, first and second years stay in here, but everyone else – pair up and stand guard at a window," Lily said, in total prefect mode now, pointing and bossing people about like she was born to be in charge.

"But what's the signal?" A gangly, freckled sixteen year old boy asked. "How will we know when to cast our spells? And what spell are we even casting?"

Everyone turned to Amy. Her eyes widened as she realised that she didn't have a clue. "Look, I don't know the details, but the Doctor is on his way up here and he'll explain it to you."

"Can he really beat the Death Eaters?" A dark-skinned girl asked hesitantly.

Amy gave her a bright smile and nodded confidently. "The Doctor can beat anything."

"Alright, everyone knows what they're doing?" Lily steepled her hands together and then waved them towards the door. "Off you go then!"

The older year levels filed out of the portrait hole, leaving the young ones standing around looking lost. Now that the circular room wasn't jammed full of people, Amy could see that it housed an eclectic assortment of comfortable looking chairs, which the first and second years were slowly lowering themselves into, and that a large fireplace was set into the wall. The whole room had a red and gold colour scheme and felt very welcoming and warm. Marlene was the last to exit the common room, and she pulled Lily in for another hug and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh before leaving. As soon as the blonde was out of sight, Lily grasped Amy's hand and pulled her across the room to a set of stairs that must have led up to her dorm.

She paused at the bottom and turned to the scared looking children behind them, and said, "Everything's going to be fine. Just keep yourselves busy and try not to stress."

Looking at their innocent little faces, Amy felt compelled to say something, too, so she added, "Don't worry, you'll be magnificent."

Oh, God, she was beginning to sound like the Doctor.

"It's so weird. They're the same person, but, like… not," a girl whispered to her friend, staring at the two of them as though they were aliens.

Maybe Amy was an alien to these people, she thought. Did coming from another dimension make her an alien? What an odd thought. Even by her standards, as the companion of a nine hundred year old Time Lord, this was all a bit much to keep track of. Different dimensions, an alternate version of herself, witches and wizards and daleks – and now she was jogging up a spiral staircase in a magic school to put on a uniform and pretend she was a witch. Well, Amy had always wanted adventure; Life was just granting her wish with a bit more enthusiasm than she'd expected.

Lily's dorm was at the very top of the tower, of course, and housed six four-poster beds with matching red curtains and duvets. She went to the bed closest to the door and started rifling through a huge wooden trunk at the foot of it, tossing out heavy text books and quills onto the floor. Amy glimpsed a bundle of letters tied with red string and a neatly folded pile of black robes, on top of which sat a stereotypical pointed witches hat. So it was really like the stories then, she thought in amazement.

She stood in the centre of the room, taking the various items of clothing her doppelganger was passing up to her, regarding each piece closely. Amy wasn't utterly obsessed with fashion, choosing comfort over the latest trends just as often as she dressed to show off her assets, and she hadn't really minded her school uniform while she'd been a student. But, like most kids, she'd been glad to be rid of it when she'd graduated, so the fact that she was now twenty one years old and holding a scarily similar uniform in her hands made her feel a little bit of resentment; she'd joined the Doctor to travel through Time and Space, not to revert back to being a high school student, even a magical high school student. She tried to think of it as just another costume, just another character to play. Amy had always enjoyed a spot of role-play.

"The grey's a bit boring, but it could be a lot worse," Lily mused as she draped a red and gold tie over Amy's shoulder.

"Thanks." She watched Lily kneel down before the trunk again, tossing a small green book out of it. After bouncing once the paperback landed on the floor, cover up. "Quidditch Through the Ages," she read aloud. "Hey, James and Sirius were telling me about Quidditch before -"

Lily poked her head up and sighed, "Oh Merlin, did they confuse you? Sorry, once they get started talking about it they never stop."

Amy laughed, "Yeah, I don't have a clue how the game works; all I remember is that they fly around on broomsticks."

"Yep. Seems a bit weird to a muggle, I know; when I first found out I was gobsmacked. But having the latest broom is like…" Lily bit her bottom lip. "Well, different brooms have different qualities and speeds, kind of like cars."

"So it's a bit more complicated than just picking up the kitchen broom and taking off for a spin, then?"

"Just a bit!" Lily chucked.

"Does everyone fly?" Amy inquired, taking the tie off her shoulder and throwing it over her forearm. "Do you play Quidditch?"

Lily shook her head, still laughing. "Oh, no. I'm not the best at flying; still get a bit jittery, that high up with nothing but a broom between me and a fall to my death, you know? I still enjoy it though. It's good fun, once you get the hang of it. I did try out for the House Quidditch team in my third year, with Marlene… Didn't make it, unfortunately."

"You tried your best though, didn't you, Lils?"

Lily shot to her feet and Amy spun around to see James standing in the doorway of the dorm, smirking at them.

Lily lifted her chin up and fiddled with the hem of her jumper. "I don't know what you mean, James."

"Of course you don't," he said teasingly, sauntering into the room and flipping up the hem of her skirt. "You cheated. You wore a skirt."

She quickly pushed the offending article of clothing back down and narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend. "I didn't wear a skirt."

"Well, that would have worked too," he said, waggling an eyebrow at her.

Amy pulled a scandalised expression on her physical double's behalf, but, looking at Lily's legs, she couldn't help but agree. They really did have quite a good set of pins.

Lily herself was frowning, deep in thought. She tilted her head to the side and said, "No, no I did wear a skirt." She then quickly tried her best to look innocent as she said, "But it was any old skirt, just the school one."

James rolled his eyes. "Moral of the story is, Lily doesn't fly. My skills more than make up for that, though."

"Oh shut up, stupid," Lily scowled and turned back to Amy, mouthing, "Boys."

"Seriously, if you want to go for a fly, Amy, I'd be happy to take you," James continued on. "I am Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, after all."

"Yes, yes, and it's a miracle that your broom can carry the weight of your big fat head," Lily drawled.

James looked offended, holding a hand against his heart. "Nice to hear what you really think of me," he joked, swaggering forward and draping his arm around her shoulders. "Keep up that attitude and I might just break up with you."

"You'd never," Lily said, clearly not even remotely threatened by the statement. The corners of her pink lips were lifted in a small smile, and she tilted her head up so James could plant a kiss on her cheek.

Watching them, Amy felt strangely hollow. A shiver ran down her spine; it was as though her body was remembering the sensation of being held lovingly like that, but her mind couldn't quite recall it. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her head, and said, "So you guys are pretty serious then?"

James looked up at Amy with an expression that unsettled her – there was worry in his eyes, and pity. Why on Earth would he be pitying her?

Lily must have noticed his sudden stiffness, too, because her mouth parted and then closed again, and she nudged him with her shoulder, prompting him to answer.

"I'm very serious," he finally responded, wrenching his gaze back to his girlfriend. "Lily isn't as keen on having such a serious relationship as I am right now, but that's okay; I'll wait for her. She's worth waiting for."

Lily turned slightly so she could look at James straight on and murmured, "You already waited three years."

He shrugged casually, but kept his eyes locked on hers. "I'd wait a thousand years for you."

Lily seemed slightly dumfounded by that declaration, and so Amy gave an exaggerated sigh and groaned, "Control your hormones."

The couple laughed, and the serious moment passed by.

Lily asked James, "So what do you want then?"

He nodded at Amy. "The Doctor sent me. He said to tell you, 'hurry up, Pond, this isn't a catwalk' and to tell you that there's no 'decent' food here. Whatever his idea of decent is, I don't know. I thought the Cornish pasties were pretty good, myself."

"Aw, he gets cranky when he's hungry," Amy chuckled. She picked up the tie and whipped James in the side with it. "Now would you get out of here so I can get changed in peace?"

"Sorry!" James said, holding his hands up and backing out the door.

"I think that's everything you need; I hope it's comfortable. We'll just be down in the common room," Lily said as she followed him out, pulling the door to behind her.

Alone in the dorm, Amy held up the red and gold tie and twisted up one corner of her mouth in contemplation. The Gryffindor colour scheme looked alright with her hair, she supposed. And she'd always liked lions. With a shrug she dropped the uniform onto the bed beside her and got changed, neatly folding her own clothes and storing them in the trunk at the foot of Lily's bed once she'd gotten dressed. She stopped to have a look in the full length mirror hanging on the wall on her way out, fluffing her hair up and turning to see how the pleated skirt looked from the back. She decided that, all things considered, she didn't mind herself in a school uniform – even if it did make her feel like she was seventeen again.

[[-]]

The Doctor loved children. There was something so miraculously pure about them, an innocence and a sense of faith and trust that adults just didn't have. Children never asked stupid questions like grown-ups did, because they were so in awe of the world that absolutely everything seemed possible to them and so they accepted it all with open arms. They were still filled with a burning curiosity, not yet crushed by unmet expectations and the disappointments that life so often handed out. Having made his way past the older students who had followed Amy's instructions and positioned themselves in pairs at windows all along the corridors, telling each of them very clearly what he needed them do, the Doctor was extremely relieved to enter the common room and find it full of even younger faces. The little students were staring at him as though he were a god, and he beamed back at them, almost giddily, because they were going to remain safe in here, away from even the possibility of anything harmful. Not that the other students were going to get hurt, no, there was no chance of that happening, not at all, because he refused – absolutely, steadfastly refused – to have another death on his conscience. Not a single one, and especially not a life so young as theirs. No, everyone would be safe today. But these little ones, so young and small and full of wide-eyed wonder, they were particularly safe.

One girl sat by the fireplace, practically drowning in her far-too-large black school robes, with ginger hair that fell just to her shoulders and a sorrowful expression. She was the only person in the room not looking at the Doctor, and so, naturally, she was the only he paid attention to. Okay, it might have helped a little that she was ginger; he did always love a ginger. But he was mainly drawn to her because she was crying, her small shoulders shaking with the effort to suppress her sobs, and he had to put a stop to that. He vaulted over an end table and landed in front of her, making her jump. In the brief moment where she looked up he saw tears welling in her big, blue eyes, spilling over her lashes and leaving white trails down her pale cheeks.

"Do excuse me," he said apologetically, bending his knees to get to her eyelevel. "Bit rusty on the landing, haven't done much jumping lately. Lots of running, there's always a lot of running. But these legs haven't got much of a chance to vault, which is a bit of a shame. Maybe I should incorporate it into more of my daily activities…"

"Please don't," River said dryly from somewhere behind him.

Giving her no more acknowledgment than a quick, dismissive wave of his hand, the Doctor gave this little girl his most charming smile and said, "Hello, I'm the Doctor. What's your name?"

"A-Ariel," she said quietly, hiccupping slightly at the beginning.

"What a lovely name!" He exclaimed. Like a name in a fairy tale.

She was like another little Amelia, he thought. Sadder and scareder and probably not as feisty, but he liked her immediately.

"Are we really safe in here?" Ariel asked timidly, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"You bet you're safe in here," the Doctor said brightly. "In fact, so long as I'm here, you're safe in all of Hogwarts. And even when I'm not here, I suppose, I've heard it's meant to be pretty safe then too. Not as safe, but, yes." She sniffed but didn't say anything, so he asked, "How old are you, Ariel?"

"Eleven," she told him.

Of course she was. She was tiny, but they didn't let you in until you were eleven. Good thing he knew exactly how to cheer up an eleven year old girl – lollies. This place had no decent food – most schools didn't though, so the Time Lord wasn't really surprised – so he couldn't offer her some fish fingers and custard, which was this regeneration's go-to comfort food. But perhaps there was something else she might like.

He leant forward and asked conspiratorially, "And do you like ice-cream?"

"Yes." That was good, there was a bit more confidence in that answer. Ice-cream always did bring out the best in people.

"Hang on one moment." The Doctor stood up and began rifling through the pockets of his tweed jacket. The left pocket contained his 3D glasses, an empty jammy dodgers packet, and some form of monetary note - he wasn't sure what denomination it was, or which time or planet it was from, because money bored him. In his right pocket there was his psychic paper and slingshot, and, hm, he didn't know what that was, best not to check with children in the vicinity. He hoped he hadn't left it in the other jacket… Inside pockets, perhaps? Hour glass, sonic screwdriver, and, and, and – and there it was! He pulled out a brightly wrapped frozen ice-cream treat and held it out to Ariel. "Ta-Da!"

Her blue eyes widened. "Was that in your pocket?" He nodded, and she asked, "Has it melted?"

The Time Lord gently put pressure on the treat and found it to be solid. Well, as solid as ice-creams were meant to be. "Nope, still good and perfectly edible. Here you go," he said cheerily, passing it over to her.

She unwrapped it and, upon seeing that it was really, truly an ice-cream and not some sort of trick, rewarded him with a huge, happy smile. "Thank you!" She exclaimed as she bit into it.

"You're welcome," he replied, standing up and ruffling her hair. "Ice-cream always cheers Amelia up, too."

"There's ice-cream?"

The Doctor spun on his heel, hands up in the air, to see Amy standing at the foot of the stairs that wound their way down from the girls' dorms. She was now dressed in the regulation grey Hogwarts uniform – and absolutely, physically identical to Lily. Well, there were slight lines at the corners of her eyes that Lily didn't have, but to a human, the two girls were identical.

"It's uncanny," River said in astonishment, making her way over to stand beside the Doctor.

He flashed her a brief smile, which he was glad to note she returned, and allowed himself a moment of silent congratulations for being so clever. With Amy disguised and River by his side he was certain they'd get everyone out of this unscathed.

"Merlin, two Lilys," Remus breathed, staring at Amy.

Peter couldn't seem to decide which of the girls he should look at, and so was constantly swinging his head back and forth between the two, as though he was watching a fast-paced match of tennis. "This is so weird."

"Imagine the possibilities!" Sirius crowed, throwing one arm out towards each of them. "And one of them used to be a kiss-o-gram, too! She actually made a living from kissing people!"

An impressed looking James opened his mouth to speak, but Lily slapped him on the cheek before he could even get the words out. The Time Lord imagined Amy was grateful for that; for one so forward, she was a bit sensitive when it came to her past occupation.

"Ow," James complained, lowering the hand he'd had pointed at his girlfriend. "I didn't even say anything."

She ignored him and peeled herself away from the Marauders, whom she'd been chatting amicably with before Amy's arrival, and went to examine her now-mirror-image.

"Do I really look like that?" She asked, her voice low and disbelieving. She walked in a circle around the older girl, scanning her up and down for differences. She wouldn't find any, of course.

The Doctor was focused on Amy, and so he saw the glint in her eye and the smirk on her lips as she raised her eyebrow and said in sultry tones, "Yeah, yeah you do."

Oh, she was using her English accent, that was a nice touch. The Doctor felt a short burst of pride as he thought clever girl! But it was soon overridden by disbelief at the way the two girls were now looking each other up and down.

"Mmm." Lily smiled as she met Amy's eye, suddenly looking smug. "I'd put you on the Quidditch team."

"Oh, I bet you would," Amy said flirtily, pouting her lips ever so slightly.

Right, that was going no further.

The Doctor made a noise of disgust and said darkly, "Oh, this is how it all ends; Pond, flirting with herself. True love at last." Both girls turned to give him unimpressed looks, kicking their hips out and looking a bit intimidating, actually. He turned to the Marauders and said, as though he'd only just remembered they were in the room, "Oh, sorry, James."

James looked positively dazed by the sight before him, but managed to respond with, "I think you mean Potter, not Pond."

It became very clear which girl was Lily when she screwed her face up and looked at him as though he were an idiot. Which was valid, the Doctor thought, what with the way his jaw was hanging open. "No, I think he means Evans, you prat," she said smartly.

There was a tug on the Doctor's sleeve and he looked down to see Ariel standing beside him, her ice-cream finished and her happiness restored. "Are they the same person?" She asked innocently.

"Look, Amy, it's a little you!" The Doctor declared gleefully, too excited to respond to her question. He pointed down to the eleven year old and grinned at his companion.

"Just how many of me are there!" Amy snapped, eyebrows knitted into a frown and mouth open in disbelief.

"Well, she's not actually another you… Her face is all different and she's not as freakishly brave…" The Doctor twisted his fingers together. He looked down at Ariel and told her in a kind voice, "They are the same person, yes, let's go with that, because the whole truth would probably take too long explain and you'd get bored three quarters of the way through and stop paying attention, so yes, Amy and Lily are the same person."

"How are we meant to tell them apart?" River asked.

"That's the point, River," the Time Lord said, "You're not supposed to be able to tell them apart."

"Yes, I know that's the point," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "But it might be useful for us to know whether we're talking to Amy or Lily. It'll get very confusing very quickly otherwise, and we don't need any more confusion than what we have already."

The Doctor thought about it for a few milliseconds, before realising that River was right. She was awfully good. No wonder his future self liked her so much. And his present self, too, if he was being honest. She was enigmatic and a risk taker and absolutely infuriating sometimes, but she was good. He was growing quite fond of her.

"Right, how are we going to tell you apart?" The Doctor scanned the room, looking for possible additions he could make to one of their outfits, and his eyes settled on a small, red badge attached to the left lapel of James's robes. "Aha!" He vaulted back across the table and ran over to James. He unpinned the badge, which was in the shape of a crest and had the words HEAD BOY emblazoned across it, and went over to the girls. "Which one of you wants to wear the badge?"

"Oh, of course!" Lily said, as she'd just realised something completely obvious. "My Head Girl badge. That'll do the trick. You can put that one back, I'm not walking around with a badge that calls me a boy."

That was being a bit picky, the Doctor thought, but when Amy also declined to wear the badge he sighed and said, "Fine then, go on and get your own badge, Evans. Women, so fussy."

Rather than give the badge he was holding back to James - because he was standing all the way over the side of the room and the badge was shiny, and the Doctor liked shiny things, shiny things were cool - he pinned it onto his breast pocket and admired it. He heard Lily's hurried footsteps as she ran upstairs to retrieve her badge, and turned to Amy with a smile.

"How are we doing, Pond?"

"Good," she told him. She stepped closer and asked in hushed, Scottish tones, "Doctor, what do you have planned? I know you'll get rid of the bad guys, but you do have a plan, don't you?"

He bopped her lightly on the nose and said, "I have something very much like a plan, but better."

"Better than a plan? How can it better than a plan?" Amy asked disbelievingly.

"Because I came up with it," he replied with a lopsided grin.

The two of them looked to Sirius as he sidled up to Amy and said, "You look good in that uniform, Amy."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Amy replied instantaneously, and the Doctor bit back a laugh.

"Can't a guy give a girl a compliment without being shot down?" Sirius asked, still leaning towards her.

"Not when it's you," Remus told him, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Padfoot, would you please stop hitting on my girlfriend's double? It's really creepy, even by your standards," James said.

Sirius ignored them and said to Amy, "I was just going to ask if you were interested in some role play -"

Before he could finish his sentence, her hand had made stinging contact with his cheek. "No," she repeated firmly.

Lily bounded back down the stairs at that very moment, in the process of pinning her Head Girl badge to her shirt. When she saw Sirius rubbing his red cheek, she laughed and said, "She's another me, Sirius. Did you really think she'd fall for your lines?"

"Boys never learn," River tutted from the armchair she'd draped herself across.

Grinning, the Doctor looped an arm comfortably over Amy's and Lily's shoulders. They were about to face the Daleks, but with a group this lively and with so much life left to live, he thought, there was no way they could lose.

a.n. Not sure how I feel about this chapter. It's super long, wow. I tried to make it amusing, I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know in a review! Thank you for reading, keep on being magnificent.