Hey, sorry for the sort of long update than my usual speed. I was really discourage for the past several days due to the accusation that was made against me, nevertheless, I will continue on with this story. For those of you who read the message I posted for about a week after I first discovered the now removed review, you know why I took a little longer to post this chapter. Anyway please understand that this story is not stolen from anywhere and that its plot is completely of my imagination. Without further ado, here is chapter 8! Please enjoy and remember to leave a review at the bottom of the page!

*No flames or slanders please*

Chapter Eight: Losing Me

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I couldn't see anything. For the moment, it was as if I wasn't living anymore. For once everything was going in a good direction; I was starting get my life back in order and then... it all fell apart.

(11:18 A.M. – Thursday, March 21st)

"Hello? Sonic, you still here?"

Hm... guess not.

I stepped out of my room and searched the hall. There was no sign of life other than me and the hum from the fish tank on the far side of the living room. I shrugged my shoulders and left my bedroom. I hobbled over to the pantry with my crutches and pulled out a box of cereal, got a bowl and poured the milk. As I was setting it on the table, I leaned my crutches against the table and fetched a spoon. As soon as I turned around, I heard a loud crash and turned back to see my crutches had fallen over once again. I was getting kind of sick of using those crutches; they always got in the way or fell over or something. I hopped over to a drawer, fetched a spoon and sat down at the table. I didn't bother picking them up because they were only going to fall over again.

I ate in silence until I noticed the radio sitting on the counter to my right. I stood up from my breakfast and hopped over to it. I remember he used to listen to the radio on some country station when he wasn't trying to tune in to park ranger station to make sure they weren't approaching the house. I still wasn't used to watching television yet because he would only let us watch it on special occasions and for educational purposes only, otherwise I had no interest in it. Sonic and Sonia's was different than his; his was a small one with antennas that he used to have to adjust to get to some fuzzy station whereas their TV was quite large and skinny with no antennas.

Even though I wasn't too attracted to the TV, I was fairly fascinated by their computers. They had three of them in fact; one in both of their rooms and one in the living room. Sonia had showed me how to work the one in the living room the night I got there. She said I could look up anything I wanted to with the power of the internet. I had certainly never used it before and it captivated me how much knowledge one device could hold. I still didn't feel comfortable using it without their permission so I stuck to the radio. It had all sorts of dials and knobs on it that I wasn't too sure how to use it so I just winged it. I flipped the on switch and fiddled with the turn-knobs until I reached a clear station.

"And the weather of the day is more snow. Looks like Spring isn't coming as soon as we hoped folks!"

I wasn't in the mood for weather reports at the moment so I messed with it some more.

"...looks like the stocks are taking another turn-"

"Blah, blah, blah! I don't care."

I tried one last time and I managed to strike a music station. Music always present in some way in most books that I read but I never had the chance to listen to it growing up. I did however remember listening to music with my mother before I was taken. Little bits of my past were rising up randomly since I was starting to adjust back into life. I started thinking about all the time I had lost and wondered if I'd ever be able to feel accomplished without those years.

"Alright ,here's a request from a listener that's quite old but still a favorite. Here is Clocks!"

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing

Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that can't be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing

You are
You are

The minute I heard the tune, I couldn't help thinking it sounded familiar. It must have come out before I'd l was gone.

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know, singing

Come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure?
Or am I part of the disease? Singing

You are, you are, you are
You are, you are, you are

And nothing else compares
Oh nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are
You are

Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go

I felt a bit of an attachment to the song and its lyrics. It's as if they were repeating my feelings right back at me. Lyrics were a type of poetry and I'd read tones of poetry before, but never like that. Lyrics were mixed with music and made to be heard; made to be listened to. Even though they were just words alike any other written work, they were like speeches full of metaphors and tunes, connections and rhythm. Like nothing else. I listened to every other song after that; sitting at the table in awe of how much I missed out on as it dragged me into a world of its own, away from all my problems.

It was only around 1:00 that I actually managed to pull myself away from it and brush my hair and teeth. I picked up my crutches and headed to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth quickly and washed my face. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and brush my tangled hair until I could freely run my hand through it. I then tied it back with an elastic leaving only one strand on each side of my face. I wanted some of my hair to shadow over the scar on my cheek but I guess it would take a lot more than that for it to not show. I ran my finger across it and felt the slight indent it made on my face. I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply and held it. After a couple of seconds, I let it out. But when I looked back into the mirror, I saw him standing behind me. I jumped but found myself frozen in place, unable to turn around to see if he was really there.

"Aw Rose, have you cut yourself? How terrible, you were always such a delicate little thing. Here why don't you let me help you? Come back to me Rose, the other girls are waiting for you."

He put his hand on my shoulder and brushed my cheek with his other one. I was so disgusted by his presence that I started to tremble and cry. He then managed to morph into me, so that I was standing at my own side.

"You've ruined your face. You're hideous! That'll never heal; you'll always have that ugly scar on your face!"

In the heat of the moment, I couldn't bare looking at myself any further so I just punched my hand straight through the glass. It shattered instantly leaving streaks of blood to run down my arm and shards scattered across the sink and floor. I gasped and my very vivid vision disappeared; leaving me alone in the mess I had created, my mess of a life. I grabbed the nearest towel wrapped it around my hand while very carefully limping backwards put of the bathroom. I grabbed one crutch off the wall and made my way to the kitchen sink. The pain in my foot was becoming severe but the pain in my hand was worse. I ran water on my hand to wash away the blood before pulling out all the remaining shards. I then dabbed off all the blood with the small towel and then tied it around my hand. I didn't know what to do after that. I just started gasping and letting the tears roll down my face as I tried to think of how to put my life back together. The radio was still playing some silly song in the background so impatiently reached over and shut it off. What was once bringing me joy was now adding to the clotting mass of disturbance that was collecting in my mind. I thought I was finally on the brink of insanity. I leaned against a nearby wall and slid to the floor, cradling my blood soaked hand up against my body as the tears dripped from my face.

I could faintly make out pieces of shattered glass all the way across the apartment, on the floor next to the bathroom where I fractured the mirror into a million pieces. I was gasping for air as I began to conform to hysteria. It was pretty evident that my mind had casted away all forms of calm and I was sucked into some sort of chaotic dystopia that caused the hallucination. I was still so sure that he had really shown up behind me, but then I saw myself... As clear as day, I was beside myself, or at least the hate in me had manifested into an entity of pure loathing.

Did I really feel that way about myself inside? Or am I just going crazy? What's happening to me?!

The tears had stopped flowing but that was only because I started to hyperventilate. I leaned forward, still clutching my wrapped-up, bleeding hand to my chest and started to crawl forward using my other hand. I only realized that I was subconsciously bringing myself toward the door. I was in such a state of madness that only then, did I come to notice the vigorous pounding on the door. I used the door handle to lift myself up and glanced through the peephole. I couldn't see much through my dazed eyes, so I opened the door ever so slightly, leaving the chain locked in place. Who I saw came much to my surprise. It was that strange neighbor, Shadow. He looked a bit menacing through the crack in the door; his red eyes piercing venomously at me. This made me a bit reluctant to announce my presence but seeing as I wasn't in the best shape to be dealing with stuff on my own, I decided to ask for some help.

"H-hello?"

"What the hell was that smash I just heard? It sounded like a window busted or something! Are you okay?"

"I-it wasn't a-a window... and I-I need help..."

I closed the door and unlocked the chain to open the door wider. All I did was remove the towel from my hand and lift it in front of me for him to see. His expression changed instantly and he stepped all the way in the apartment. He then gently took the blood covered towel from my other hand and wrapped it around my cut up hand. It wasn't bleeding as much as it was before but I could make out the tiny shards that were still penetrating the surface of my skin; making it sting all over.

Shadow led me to the couch and told me to stay there while he would get something for it.

"You're gonna be okay, don't worry."

He walked out of the apartment and came back quickly with a harsh scenting, alcohol-soaked cloth, some gauze and medical tape. He took my in his and delicately wiped the remaining blood away while disinfecting it. It hurt a lot while he was pressing on all the scrapes in my palm, increasing the stinging sensation, but it was also sort of soothing. I pulled back for a minute to try and remove the remaining pieced that were lodged in the surface and then allowed him to wrap the gauze around it and tape it up. I looked up to face him and saw the questions spilling from his eyes. I didn't even know what to say. I wasn't at all prepared to explain to someone I barely knew just how crazy I was.

"Well now that you're all patched up, you mind telling me what happened? As soon as I heard something break very loudly, I rushed over here."

"I-I'm not sure what happened. I-I don't know why but I had some- hallucination of some sort and I accidently- in the moment punched my fist through the mirror in the bathroom. Please don't think I'm crazy, I- it's never happened before. I don't even know what happened."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I stammered through my very unstable explanation. My mind must've been racing at an infinite speed, trying to make sense of everything that escalated up to this point. One minute I was enjoying some music and the next I was shattering myself into a billion shards and winding up a bloody mess as well as obliterating my reflection. I let my unwanted thoughts drift me off into another world while Shadow was attempting to regain my attention. I was very lost and was struggling to find my way back.

"Hey, are you with me? God, I don't even remember your name... Can you remind me again?"

"Amy. My name is Amy. Can you help me? My ankle is still in a brace and I can't clean up what's left of the mirror by myself. I promise I'll make up for it somehow, when my ankle's healed. Can you?"

"You don't need to do that. I'll just go fetch a broom from my apartment and I'll be back. Don't worry about it. Just lay down for a bit and don't exhaust yourself. You've lost some blood so you shouldn't move too much."

"Oh, okay."

I was still holding the towel in my hand until Shadow slowly removed it from my grip. He left for about five minutes and then came back with a broom and dust pan. I only observed as he closed the apartment door, walked calmly towards the littered floor and swept it all up until it looked as if it had never happened. He located the garbage can and through away the remnants of the mirror. He then approached the couch and sat down next to me. The look he gave me was one of sympathy.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay on your own?"

"Y-yeah, it was just one time thing. I hope."

"Alright, well I gotta get to work so I'll see you around."

"Wait!"

"What is it?"

"Don't tell anyone what happened. I-I'll think of something to explain it, but please, please promise me you won't mention any of this!"

"I won't if you don't want me to."

"Thank you... for everything. I really appreciate it."

"What are neighbors for if they can't lend a hand once in a while, heh?"

That left me smiling until after he left and I was on my own again.

Wow. My first day alone and I manage to destroy something within the first few hours and have to beg for help. At least my ankle's not bothering me as much today.

I got up from the couch and limped over to the crutch I had left in the kitchen and used it to get back to the bathroom to fetch the other one. The minute I looked inside the bathroom, I felt the pressure of guilt rise up inside my stomach, my heart lurching at the site of the frame with only several shards remaining in place. A large piece jutted out from the side and for some reason, I pulled it from its spot. I looked at my reflection in the small piece; seeing only my bright green, reddened eyes and the tip of my nose, it was then that I noticed the small drop of blood hanging off the sharp edge. I wiped it away, erasing all trace of its existence. I wondered if I could be wiped away so easily; simply forgotten in everyone's memories.

I stepped out of the bathroom, only using one crutch to get to my room. I walked very steadily trying my best to avoid putting pressure on the tender sections until I reached the nightstand next to the bed. I opened the drawer that I had never bothered to check beforehand but found it was empty. Seeing this as an opportunity to fill it again, I put the shard of mirror in the drawer and closed it.

xXx

(3:22 P.M. – Thursday, March 21st)

Sonia unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment, calling to me a minute later.

"Amy! Come on we have to go soon, before it gets too late."

"What? Where are we going?"

I had absolutely no idea where she was suppose to be bringing me. She hadn't spoken to me about going somewhere important today so I was understandably confused.

"The mall, silly. I'm going to bring you shopping for stuff and also to get you used to the environment a little bit."

"Oh. Okay, if you think that'll help."

"Of course it will help. The mall helps everyone!"

"Um, alright, but Sonia there's something I need to tell you... something that might sound kinda bad."

"What is it, Amy?"

"I accidentally... broke the mirror in the bathroom. Please don't be mad! I swear, I didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of happened. I'm so sorry, really I am."

She didn't answer, just walked over to the bathroom and looked inside. To my relief, she came back smirking and chuckling a little.

"It's alright, Amy. You even cleaned it up with your ankle like it is. It's not really a big deal, but just out of curiosity, how did it happen?"

Oh no. Should I tell her about my hallucination or should I just make something up. I don't want her to think I'm crazy, though. But how do I explain my hand?

"I sort of tripped and I smashed my hand through it when I fell forward."

"*gasp* Is your hand okay?"

"Y-yeah, I got it patched up and got all the pieces out."

"Oh my God, are you sure you're okay? How did you manage to pick up all the shards that fell on the floor in that state?"

"I used a towel to sweep them up and then threw them in garbage."

"I hope you're not in too much pain. Do you still want to go to the mall, 'cause we can go another day if you want."

"No, no that's not necessary! I want to go. Please let's just forget about it."

I smiled at her with my most positive looking expression, hoping to distract her from the incident. She smiled back warmly and grabbed her car keys.

"Alright, just get dressed and we'll head out!"

xXx

(4:30 P.M. – Thursday, March 21st)

Once we got to the mall, Sonia made me go into what felt like every shop in the entire building. It was uncomfortable in the first few stores; I felt like everyone was watching me all the time and the crowds were making me a tad claustrophobic. I hated the way stranger's bodies would be brush up against you like it wasn't a total invasion of personal space. It was something that I would only get used to with time.

At around 4:25, Sonia dragged me to the other side of the mall where she claimed she had made me a 'hair appointment'. I wasn't even entirely sure what it meant at first but I got the idea once we stepped into the salon. I had never had my hair cut by a professional before and I was a bit nervous. How was I supposed to trust a total stranger to use scissors near my face and neck? The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to be there.

"Okay Amy, I know this is something new to you but please, just give it a try, alright? I promise you'll feel really good when it's all done! You'll have a whole new look."

I nodded. I knew she was right about having a new look; it was just what I needed to get the reminder of the vision out of my head. So I stepped forward with my one crutch, my other hand too occupied by pain, and I sat down in the seat that a hairdresser pointed me to.

It felt strange to be receiving all this treatment that I'd never gotten before. It didn't stop me from feeling guilty about lying to Sonia though; in fact it made me feel worse. But for the time being, I tried to look enthusiastic about it all. It was all I could've done to make up for it. I got kind of anxious while the woman was washing my hair; afraid she would burn me or, with my neck tilted back like that, it would be the perfect position to cut my throat out. I tried thinking about the music playing in the background to calm myself of these delusions. I was breathing shallow, quick breaths throughout the entire time she was washing my hair. It seemed like such a ridiculous thing to be nervous about, but at the time, it was very hard to trust people. She moved me to a new seat in front of a large, thick-framed mirror. She let my hair down from the towel and let the wet strands fall all over my face. Feeling the small droplets of water that clung to my hair, then latching onto my face, it reminded me of that night in the rain. The night I escaped. I closed my eyes and I suddenly plunged back into the memory.

The cold, damp forest; the dark undergrowth, the shadows of all the trees, gripping to my body, rain pelting down in my face, swallowing me in my mind fabricated of fear and anxiety until I lose myself entirely-

"Amy? You don't need to be nervous, I'm right here. She's just going to cut your hair, not you."

My eyes burst open, too sensitive for the lights' brightness. I gasped a little too loudly as Sonia startled me out of my decrepit reminiscence.

"Huh? What did you say? Sorry I zoned out there for a minute."

"Yeah, I could tell. Where were you just now?"

"I was- here... And in the forest."

"Oh, I see. It's nothing to be worried about, you're going to have flashbacks once in a while. I read it the other night in some articles on coming back from harsh situations. It's PTSD."

"PTSD? What's that?"

"Post traumatic stress disorder. It's extremely common with cases like yours."

"Really? So I'm not going crazy, haha?"

"No, not in the slightest. Now why don't we have a look at what the lovely woman did with your hair while we were talking?"

I could see she had given me bangs and had cut it a little shorter, with some layers in it. It was still wet however and she was about to dry it.

"I'm gonna go call Sonic to let him know where we are, while she dries your hair. And Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything's going to be just fine."

With a quick smile, she walked out of the salon and stepped into the corridors of the mall. The hairdresser then turned on the hairdryer that drowned out all surrounding noises, which I was grateful for because it also blocked out all my thoughts and left me in piece for the moment. It took about ten minutes for her to dry it and style it with her fancy brushes and combs. When she finished, I barely recognized myself; I was used to my tangled, unstyled pink mop. Now it was nicely placed just past my shoulders, all straightened and fluffy with front bangs that swept over to the left at the tips. I had to say, I liked it a lot. A little while after I gawked at myself in the mirror, Sonia came back in the salon.

"Oh my God! Amy, it's so beautiful; you look like a totally different person!"

"Really? I like it a lot. Thank you so much Sonia."

I got out of the seat and hugged her. It felt good to be taken care of after such a long time of trying to take care of myself.

"You're very welcome, Amy. I'll just be over at the cash to pay for it."

"Oh you look so beautiful, it's on the house!"

The hairdresser surprised us when she spoke.

"I own the salon and I couldn't help overhearing that you've just gone through something traumatic. Now I don't want to pry, but I could sense how nervous you were throughout the entire process. You don't need to pay for it."

"Really are you sure?"

"Yes, its fine. Have a nice day!"

Sonia looked at me with a smile on her face. I grabbed hold of my crutches and we departed the mall.

xXx

(5:26 P.M. - Thursday, March 21st)

I noticed on the drive home that Sonia's mood had changed a bit and she seemed to possess a sense of worry. Her face was blank as if she was in deep thought and she barely spoke to me in the car. I thought it very strange since she was so enthusiastic about everything beforehand.

Now that I think about it, maybe she was a little too giddy before; as if she was trying to cover something up.

It wasn't until we got home that she had given an answer to the question that had been lingering in my mind.

"Listen Amy. There was something that I was told today that may be kind of hard for you to hear."

We were only walking through the door, carrying in all the things she had bought me. I had going to drop off the bags in my room when she had asked me to come to the kitchen. I followed slowly behind her.

"You should probably sit down for this."

"What do you mean, Sonia?"

"I mean that something happened before you were found that's some bad news."

"Tell me. Don't beat around the bush. What happened did my mother die or something?"

"..."

She opened her mouth as if she were about to say something but then closed it. Then she nodded her head. The mood of the room instantly switched to one of sadness. That's when I realized that I had hit it, spot on. I didn't know what to feel at first; my body only froze with understanding that I no longer had any family. The emotions only kick in later. I just sat in the chair and stared into space. There was nothing left to say. My mother was dead and I was alone. Alone and troubled; the perfect combination for disaster.

The tears started rolling down my cheeks before I even noticed they were there. Sonia leaned forward and held me as a comforting gesture. Sonic walked in through the front door just time to witness my breakdown.

Nothing could be done about it; I had no choice but to move on. Yet the only thing that lingered in my mind was how much I missed the one person who I briefly remembered from my past. The one who held the string attaching me to the person who I was before; all gone. That little girl who I used to be; who used to be me. I wasn't that happy child playing in the park, listening to the radio, drawing or running around, learning everything I could. No. Not anymore. That Amy was gone from this world and left only in memory, to and replaced by a lifeless body of self destruction and fear. There wasn't anything left of me. So I just sat there and cried; not only because I had lost my mother but mostly because I had lost myself.

So this is a very sad point in Amy's life; gaining back her life and expecting it to somehow go back to normal then finding out everything she left behind was lost. Please inform me on how you are finding the story in the reviews or PM me; it helps a lot to motivate me to write more! Peace for now!

-DarkRose