Hello from the grave! Haha, no I'm not dead for anyone that cares. I'm terribly sorry for the HUGE gap in time it's been since I've posted but I have a mixture of irrational and legitimate excuses for this! During the summer, I just had a lot of writer's block because of some personal stuff that was going on and then I just started college (well technically Cegep but no one's really going to know what that is outside of Quebec but whatever). So I've been SUPER busy with school and I'm also absolutely terrible at time management so there was that going on until a few days ago and now I'm free for six weeks to come up with some new material for this story! I won't abandon this story even if I take a long break from it, I'll always come back because I'm not the kind of person to leave things unfinished.

A giant "thank you" to the people who actually still follow this story, I still appreciate every review, follow and favorite that I get! Also feel free to hit me up with a PM if you have a specific comment you want to make or just to chat, I usually respond very quickly.

Alright, I'm done with my little rant so here is the chapter you've all been anticipating!

~Chapter Twenty-One: Affecting Me~

"Hey guys! What's going on?"

"Hi Amy! We just got the postings for when the tryouts for all the teams are going to take place. Looks like you're in luck! They're after school tomorrow so you have some time to prepare a bit."

Cream smiled happily as she glanced at the school newsletter in front of her.

"Oh Cosmo, the cheerleading tryouts are tomorrow too. Did you still want to go for that?"

"Um- well… Kinda but I don't think I'll get in."

Her face seemed clouded over with worry and the dark circles under her blue eyes revealed her exhaustion. She seemed ill but I couldn't quite place what kind of sickness she had. Regardless, I tried my best to cheer her up since it brought my mind off of the buzzing memories from last night's weird dinner.

"Come on Cosmo. If you want to try out, you should do it! What's the worst that could happen?"

Her face expressed an even greater amount of worry than it had mere seconds ago.

"What could happen? Make a fool of myself in front of everyone and have them tease me about it for the rest of my years here!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a tad?"

I was still unused to all of the weird customs that came with being what they call a "normal teenager". Apparently, doing my work and joining teams and clubs weren't the only things that were expected of me. I had to make sure that I fit in with everybody else around me and go out of my way to impress them in manners I didn't even think people paid attention to. However, according to my little rabbit friend, I hadn't messed up yet, so I was in the clear from embarrassment and shame. All I thought on the matter was that it was just more nonsense to add to my list of internal struggles.

Cosmo, on the other hand, seemed to have only these things to worry about and it clearly was taking a toll on her health. I already knew that she was struggling to get up in the morning because she was naturally a late sleeper and that she doesn't eat much and isn't a big fan of learning; other than that, I didn't really know that much about her. She was very observant of everyone around us and mostly planned her day around avoiding certain people. I always wished I truly understood her better from the beginning but unfortunately that was impossible.

Her whole mood had changed when we began discussing the whole 'tryouts' thing so Cream thought it was best to switch topics.

"So Amy, are you sure you want to go through with it? I mean Mina's party. I'm still unsure about it. The more I think about it, the more I think it's a bad idea."

Cream looked apprehensive. Cosmo, who only a few moments before, had a miserable expression painted on, was now struck a mood of annoyance.

"Oh come on Cream! How often do we get the chance to attend one of the popular group's parties!? Who cares if we get blood dumped on us Carrie style! At least we can say we were there!"

"Geez Cosmo, what's up with you? All I said was that I'm nervous, but if you think it would do us a world of good then by all means, let's go all out!"

Both of them took a deep breath to calm down as they realized their elevated voices. Cosmo seemed paler and more tired than I'd realized. I wasn't certain if it was just her adjusting to a new sleep cycle or if it was a matter to be concerned with. She was definitely on the short-tempered side this morning and she was bringing it out of Cream as well. For the time being, I just sat down in my seat and quietly continued taking mental notes on the subject.

After a while, the class filled up with students, including Mina and Bunnie. I couldn't help but take notice on Mina eying me for a few seconds as she entered the room. I desperately wished that I had more knowledge on people's behaviour since I seemed to be lacking in that department. Half of my day was spent going over people's actions and wondering if there was supposed to be a 'double entendre' or if I could just let it pass as nothing at all. Over the last few days, I would be talking with Cream or Cosmo and would mention an event I thought nothing of, which in turn, they would consider to be of extremely important note. I just accepted that perhaps everything anybody would do or say would become worthy of value.

Following this, I opened up the little notebook I wrote all of my anxious thoughts in, just as Rouge had instructed. Along with my nervous feelings about the doors and windows needing to open, the loudness of the surrounding students I had not adjusted to yet and the questionable people I associated with, I wrote down my thoughts and questions about my morning.

- Cosmo's attitude is sharp. Her mood is off and she seems abnormally fatigued and paler than the other days I've seen her. She's easily aggravated and impatient. She gets anxious whenever anyone mentions the 'cheerleading tryouts' or anything that has to do with Mina's party.

- Mina glanced at me and held the gaze for a few moments. Is she really planning on, as Cream said, 'playing a trick on me'? I'll have to double check this.

I shut my notebook quick when the intolerably loud bell rang for all of the students to head to their designated classes. I retraced the steps I had taken when Cream had shown me around the school to my first morning classes. I was alone and quite tired for most of them although it wasn't unbearably hot like it was the day before, now that the rain had started and hadn't stopped since yesterday afternoon.

Time passed by slowly and I found myself staring out the window for most of my first period class which was a history course. The teacher, a white cat talked about the various subjects we would be covering over the semester but it was already listed on the handout he'd given us so there wasn't much need to pay attention if you'd already read through it. I'd known about most of that stuff anyway since I'd read so many books in the last decade.

I listened to the rain drops as they tapped the closed window beside my desk and slid gracefully down the glass until they collected at the pane. It seemed like forever before the bell rang. I quickly picked up my books and my bag and headed into the hallway before they became crowded with other students exiting their classes.

I had math next so that meant I would be seeing Cosmo at least once before lunch. But it also meant I would probably have to talk to Mina Mongoose. Although she was no longer hostile and she had invited me to her party in a few days, I still wasn't all that comfortable around her. There were very few people I did feel comfortable with but there was still an air of uneasiness that hung around every time I encountered her in the halls or in the restrooms.

I had tried to arrive early to the class by taking what I thought was a shortcut; however, I ended up in an unfamiliar staircase on the wrong floor. In short terms, I was lost and I only had a few minutes to make it to class or else the teacher, that stocky bird woman, would give me that glare that she gives to all the other students who come in late and then mutter some insolent remark. Nevertheless, I walked around hoping to find another student that could help me out but everyone seemed to be in their classes already. Panic began to rise in my body and I was frantically looking around for some sort of map or something recognizable. Upon searching, a shadow down the staircase to a lower floor caught my eye from a distance. I quietly crept down until the person came into view. There was a girl sitting on the bottom step reading a book.

"E-excuse me? Can you tell me how to get to one of my classes?"

She had no response and didn't even turn around. I crept down a few more steps and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, pulling headphones from her ears and shot me a look so menacing that I jumped back a bit. She was a light gray cat with long black hair and dark eye makeup. Her eyes were a piercing ice blue and looked as though they were staring through me.

"What do you want?"

I was nervous to answer at this point but I had to find out how to get to my class.

"Um, I just wanted to know if you could help me find my math class? You see I'm new here and– "

"Go find somebody else to help you."

She muttered and turned back to her book. She frightened me more than Mina had in the beginning but there was no time to search for another wandering student.

"But there is nobody else in the halls; I looked. Please?"

"Ugh… Fine. Where are you trying to go?"

"The math class on the first floor. I have no idea where I'm going."

She rolled her eyes and stomped up the stairs; her tail was twitching behind her. I remembered Blaze used to do that when she was frustrated. Thinking about her made me a little sad until I realized that I would actually be seeing her later in the day at that group therapy thing Sonic had told me about.

The dark cat girl that was with me was wearing a short black skirt and a black t-shirt with a red rose printed on it with thigh-high black socks and black fingerless gloves. She was wearing tall black leather Dr. Martens. In comparison I looked almost girly in my t-shirt and jeans but I only noticed because I'd been taking mental notes on everyone around me lately. She continued down the hall at a pretty fast pace.

"Bird Brain's class, I'm assuming?"

"Sorry?"

"Wow, you really are new. Your teacher's a bird right? Tall, kinda chubby…"

"Yeah, I think so."

"That's what everyone calls her, just not to her face."

"Oh… Okay."

She lead me down the hall, down another staircase, and took a few turns before we arrived at the door to the class that I was in the other day. I looked over to her and gave the black-clad, grey cat a simple smile.

"Thanks so much. I didn't catch your name, though."

"That's because I never said it."

"Oh. Well, I'm –"

"Amy Rose. I know who you are."

How does she know that? Does that mean she knows everything then?

I shut away the flood of thoughts that was swimming in my head and brought myself back to reality.

"Oh. Nice meeting you then, I guess."

"Yeah, I gotta go before Bird Brain catches me skipping class so –"

Just as she was stepping away from the class room, the door opened and the teacher stepped out into the hallway. She glanced at me for a split second and looked as though she was prepared to lecture me before she turned to the cat that was slyly trying to escape. I then slipped into the classroom before the bird had a chance to say anything. I could hear behind me the teacher giving the cat who helped me an earful. I quietly made it over to my seat just in time to see the cat being brought into the classroom by her arm. 'Bird Brain' had a very sour face.

"Miss Mary Daniel. How nice of you to grace us with your presence! Hurry up and find an empty seat."

Well at least I have her name now. But still, how much does she know?

It really made me wonder hard for the entire period what she knew about me and about all of the history that might come up with a simple search of my name. It distracted me from everything around me until I got a crumpled up piece of paper thrown in my face and Mina Mongoose, who was sitting in front of me twisted her head around with a crooked smile on her face.

"What was that for?"

"You were zoned out. I wanted to know if you'd made up your mind on my party. There's a guest list so those who've said 'no' aren't allowed in, just to let you know."

"Oh, yeah I'm probably coming but only if I'm allowed to bring my other friends along with me."

"Do you mean the rabbit and alien? Ugh, fine. You know, I'm doing you a courtesy by letting you come to this party. You should find a way to thank me."

"So you mean to tell me that because I accepted your invitation, I am now in your debt due to your fabrication of some kind of unbeknownst equivalence factor you set in place?"

"Huh? Well yeah, I guess so. "

"And now you want me to unquestioningly obey your command of following your bogus standards?"

"Yes? And you better or I'll take you off the list."

"Didn't you invite me? I mean, if you didn't want me there all you had to do was say so and I would be glad not to attend. Now if you don't mind, the bell's going to ring soon and I don't want to get lost on my way to my next class."

"Fine, come if you want but expect me to ask for a favor in a while. Just like I'll be expecting you to do as I ask then."

She flipped her head back before I had the chance to respond, not that I had anything left to say to her. Sadly, I had to admit, for curiosity's sake, I kind of wanted to know what it is that she needed from me so badly. Just as I was slipping into my thoughts again, the bell rang and class was dismissed.

I got out of my seat and was about to leave when I couldn't help but notice a pair of eyes on me from behind. I stopped what I was doing and slowly turned to my head to see the displeased frown on Mary's face. She held the stare for a while and then carried on out of the class. I wasn't sure if I should feel bad for getting her into trouble or if I should think it's her fault for not following the rules. Either way, I found myself looking down at the floor for a few moments. I snapped out of it and headed back out into the hallway. I found Cosmo waiting for me by the door.

"Hey Amy, what did Mina want from you back there?"

"Oh nothing. She was just trying to convince me that I owed her for accepting her invitation. I don't really know what she wants from me though."

"Oh no. Mina asking for favors? That's never good. Look, maybe we shouldn't go after all."

"What? You're the one who convinced me to go in the first place and now I was kinda looking forward to see what happens at one. I'm scared of all sorts of people but all I've seen from her are empty threats paired with a wicked grin."

"You don't know her like I do…"

"Well what did she do? You can tell me."

"Can we talk about this another time? I-I have to go to my next class. I'll see you at lunch!"

"Okay. Bye."

She fled down the hall, leaving me all alone to ponder all of the unknown answers about the people around me. I went wandering down the hall to find my next class which I was certain was on the top floor. When I thought the halls were too crowded, I would wait against the wall to avoid all the shoving and bumping that occurred right after dismissal.

I pulled out the cell phone I was given the evening before. I didn't even turn it on; I just stared at myself in the black reflecting screen. You could still palely see the scar on my cheek from all those months ago. I touched it lightly and then looked up to see if crowds were thinning out. I started making my way to the next class when I caught sight of Mina yet again. It seems she was destined to be unavoidable today. She was hanging off of Silver's arm and laughing carelessly. I glanced away after a moment and went on unnoticed. All I was thinking was it sure must be great to not have anything weighing on your mind.

When was it going to be my turn to be a normal teenage girl?

xXx

At lunch, I found Cream sitting alone at a table in the food court and went to join her.

"Hey Cream."

"Hi Amy! Have you by any chance seen Cosmo? I haven't seen her since homeroom."

"Well she was in Math class this morning but after that I didn't run into her anywhere. I wonder where she could have gone."

Cream's expression held concern behind it. She seemed to be someone who always gave herself something to worry about.

"We can go look for her if you think something's wrong."

"It's not like I think she's missing, it's just that… she's seemed so down lately."

"Well I've only known her a few days now so I don't know if she does this often."

"Sometimes maybe. I don't really like talking about her while she's gone but… something's off. I can just feel it."

With Cosmo gone and Cream in the anxious state that she was, I thought it would be best to change the subject.

"Hey Cream, I ran into this girl today, a grey cat named Mary. What can you tell me about her?"

"Mary? Oh well she's… a little strange. She's always hung around alone and doesn't come to classes very often. I see her reading a lot. Since the beginning she's always had sort of a dark vibe. Most of the people around here call her 'Bloody Mary' because, y'know, how she looks. Stupid name, I know. Other than that, I don't know much about her. I've never talked to her before myself."

"Wow. The more I hear about the people in this school, the more frightened I am of random judgment. That's harsh to call someone that if you don't even know them."

"Well, you can thank Mina Mongoose for that. She's the one that normally starts all of the name-calling and rumors about people in the school with the help of her trusty friend Bunnie. Why are asking about her anyway?"

"Oh, she just helped me get to class when I got lost. That's all."

"You actually talked to her? Most people don't approach her. I mean, I don't have anything in particular against her, it's just…"

She paused for a while.

"Just what?"

"I feel bad for saying this out loud but I get kind of afraid when I'm near her. She just has this menacing look. I'm sure it's just a feeling though and that she's really nice if you get to know her!"

I stifled a laugh when Cream looked in my direction as though she was searching for reassurance.

"I don't think you're the only one that thinks that, Cream."

She let out a breath and looked relieved that I'd affirmed her as a good person. I glanced around the cafeteria and noticed the sea of students seated at all different tables. I could easily pick out Mina in the crowd, with her long lilac hair. She was with her friend Bunnie, with Silver and a few others sitting across from her.

How much of this is normal? How much did I miss out on? What would it be like if all of it hadn't happened to me? Where would I be?

"Cosmo! There you are! I was looking for you everywhere."

Cream's sudden outburst startled me out of my thoughts. I turned my head around and saw the small green figure approaching us calmly from the entrance of the cafeteria. She seemed a little out of it.

"Sorry I was just getting something from my locker."

I looked more closely at her face. I may have not known her for long but I could definitely tell there was an underlying emotion behind her usual smile. I watched her sit down and pull out her cell phone. It reminded me that I had one now as well, although I didn't understand how to use it much. I pulled it out of my bag and turned it on, just staring at all the different applications on it that I had no idea how to operate other than the actual call button. When I looked up from it Cream was looking at me expectedly.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?"

"Amy, you never told us you had a phone! What's your number?"

I never realized it was something worth mentioning. I was focused on more important matters for most of the day. Plus, they never asked about it before.

I guess this is just another typical teenage thing I have yet to get used to. The list just seems to be growing.

"I just got it yesterday. I don't know what the number is off by heart."

"Here!"

Before I had the chance to protest, Cream grabbed my phone out of my hands and started fiddling with it. Panic began rising in my throat but I quickly pushed it aside. If I was to get past my fears, I would have to trust people.

Cream then proceeded to show me how it operated and she programmed her phone number and Cosmo's into the contacts list. She turned out to be very helpful and I had a better understanding of things. We'd spent the rest of the hour playing with it until the bell rang for us to head back to class.

I left the table with a smile on my face and my head almost clear of all worries. Almost.

xXx

The rest of the hours flew by quick and I was already in Sonic's car, headed to my appointment with Rouge to have the group meeting with the other girls.

"I'll be here to pick you up in an hour, okay?"

"Alright."

I said goodbye to Sonic before he drove off. I entered the building and made my way to Rouge's office and stood outside the door. I took a deep breath before knocking. It had been quite a long time since I'd seen them. I knew only two of them were going to be in there. I wondered who had decided that they didn't want to come. Blaze? Tikal? Julie-Su? Maybe they just wanted to forget all of us and move on as if it never happened. Either way, we hadn't really discussed everything about our new lives.

"I guess that's why they asked to have this meeting…" I whispered to myself under my breath.

I took another deep breath and knocked twice on the door. I heard Rouge's voice from behind the door telling me to come in.

I turned the handle and stepped past the threshold. It turns out that I was the last one to arrive. Across from me sat Blaze and Julie-Su on the couches with Rouge in her usual spot. I took a seat in a chair beside them and observed them. Blaze, who once had long hair down to her waist, had cut her hair very short; even shorter than mine. And Julie-Su's hair had been dyed a darker pink. Neither of them looked the same. It was kind of awkward seeing them like this; almost as if I was staring at two completely different beings. I couldn't help but stare at them. They were looking back at me as well.

"So, how should we start this?"

Rouge spoke out breaking the silence that seemed to be flooding the room. There was the sense of hidden pressure that came with all of us being in the same room. A link of shared of memories, of fear, of unnatural pain. We were all staring blankly at the walls; never into each others' eyes.

Rouge spoke out once again.

"All of you have either asked or agreed to meet today, I think for a sense of closure or just to discuss your emotions on the different things you've experienced since your… return."

"Yeah…" It was Julie-Su that spoke out first. "I just… It's been so different. I didn't even recognize my parents when I saw them again. It was like being faced with two people who had familiar voices but the wrong faces to match. They even treated me differently. I can tell everything they say is cautious as if the wrong word would send me into a panic."

Julie-Su was looking down at the floor as she spoke. Her brow was furrowed and she had disappointment spilling from her eyes. It was easy to say she was unhappy. Rouge stared at her from across the room and jotted down notes in her little book.

"It's good to get this out. Please continue." she said in a calm and smooth tone.

"I just want them to act normal and all they do is act afraid of me, like I'm some kind of delicate doll that could shatter if they look at me for too long. I missed out on having parents and a real life. Don't they care? I just want somebody to care."

Tears were spilling out of the corners of her eyes and dropping onto her shirt, creating dark blobs. It was incredibly sad to hear. I wanted to give her all the sympathy I could but I couldn't ignore the nagging feeling in my throat of envy. At least she had both her parents. The only one I ever knew was gone before I had the chance to see her again.

"It sounds as if your feeling almost betrayed. I'm sure they do care but it seems as if it's not being expressed in the way you want them too. I suppose they might be afraid to lose you again. Don't forget that they haven't seen you in just as long as you haven't seen them. They went through almost a decade of not seeing you. In that time, they only had the image of you as a child and now you're almost an adult. I understand your feelings but I also understand where they are coming from. Have you spoken to them about this?"

Julie-Su looked up to answer the question. "Not really. I just hoped that they would get better."

"Have you told anyone else about these feelings?"

"I told my private tutor."

The nagging feeling got to me once more before I swallowed it down to remain empathetic.

"You have a private tutor?"

"Yeah. My parents hired her to teach me all the things I missed when I wasn't in school."

"Well that's one way they've expressed their care. They're trying to make it easier for you to integrate back into the world."

"I guess so…"

Blaze was staring from across the room. She had a blank face painted on. I couldn't help observing the way she acted. She seemed very withdrawn; as if she was holding something back that she wanted to share but didn't have the courage to.

"I-…"

When she finally spoke she was apprehensive about the subject, as if she was choosing her words carefully.

"My home is… different than I remember."

She paused after this. Rouge readjusted herself in her seat and spoke out to encourage her to continue.

"That's completely normal for you to feel that way. You've been separated for quite a long time and now you're suddenly in a new place, or what used to be home and seems like something new. It's uncanny to be somewhere that should feel familiar but doesn't click right away. Your memories will come back to you eventually and you'll feel the safety and protection you once felt before."

Blaze finally looked up from her lap.

"I never felt safe at home. Or, safe isn't the word. More like – comfortable. If there's one memory of my old life, it's that my Dad wasn't the warmest of fathers. He's different now too… What if my memories don't come back as they're supposed to?"

"How do you mean?"

"Like, I can only vaguely remember the disappointing times. I want to remember my mother but… I can't."

"Have you tried using items from your past to jolt you memory?"

"I haven't been doing much of anything lately. I mean, my Dad's been trying to show me how to take online classes so I won't have the pressure of leaving the house and going to school or something but it's hard because I've never really done it before."

Rouge had maintained the same unhindered look of concentration for the entire session. When she spoke, it was thoughtful and clear.

"Of course getting into a new routine is something that's going to take some practice and hard work but the results will satisfy you in the end."

"I don't even know what I'm looking forward to."

There was now a silence that hung in the air as the words seeped into the walls and into the minds of every one of us in the room. I decided to speak to my friend in the most hopeful way I could think of.

"Do any of us? I mean, it seems that no one's really honest in this city. Everyone is so wrapped up in what other people think of them that they barely have time to look for what they want. It just seems like a waste of time for everyone."

I wasn't necessarily sure where my thoughts were headed but it didn't seem to reassure Blaze or Julie-Su in the slightest. Of the three of us, I was the only one who was really adjusted to the mainstream world. I was going to school with other kids and not in isolation. I was also the one who had the most guilt to blame. Ever since finding out that my father was alive and turned out to be the monster everyone was painting into a corner, I felt like I was trapped in my own prison of shame and anger. I wasn't ready to talk about any of this in front of the other girls but deep down, I knew they blamed me.

They blame me for what my father did. For what he is…

"Amy?"

Rouge was staring at me from her seat. Blaze and Julie-Su also had their eyes on me. I suddenly felt very warm in my clothes.

"What were you thinking about Amy?"

"M-my father."

The girls' eyes dropped to the floor again. I wondered if this was truly how they were always going to see me.

"I just… I don't know where I fit in if I'm not a part of anything."

It was silent. Not even Rouge looked like she had much to say. I was awkwardly praying for someone to say something so that I didn't leave things in such a state. I wanted to rephrase my sentence when Blaze spoke out.

"It was you…"

She was still staring at the floor. Her eyes were shadowed in darkness from her position. I could still faintly see the light reflecting off of her tears.

"It was all because of you. If your father hadn't–"

"I don't have a father!"

I spoke the words without thinking. They all retained looks of confusion.

"Not anymore… He died a long time ago", before I was able to have any memories of him."

Blaze now looked angry. I assumed she thought I was mocking her. I was doing to exact opposite.

"Amy, everyone here knows that your father is alive and where he belongs: in a prison cell!"

I finally built up the courage to face her. I responded while looking her directly in the eye.

"My father is dead! He's dead and there's nothing I can do about it. He killed my mother and soon he'll kill me too."

I must have sounded crazy but it was the most honest I'd been with anyone, including myself, for a while. I didn't know how to explain myself so I just let I hang there for a while. Blaze and Julie-Su got out of their seats and left me alone in the room with Rouge. She didn't make an effort to keep them there and neither did I.

"I'm sorry that's how things ended, it wasn't my intention at all but to be honest, frankly I think it went very well. You were all able to get things off your chest that needed to be said. Now that we're alone however, there's still a few more minutes if you want to talk about something else. Perhaps you care to elaborate on your previous statement."

I was silent for a few moments. I decided not to expand on what I'd blurted out, partly because I didn't even understand it for myself.

"I'm learning a lot of new things about people lately. The way people act and react to things."

"And how are you finding this new discovery?"

"I'm not very impressed. I think it's making people sick. Like physically sick. I see it happening all around me all the time and I think its poisoning me."

"What do you mean by that precisely?"

It took me a while to formulate the words I meant to say to answer to Rouge's question. By the time I had the right words, my time was up.

I was too cowardly to say them out loud. What I was thinking was:

Maybe being taken away from society wasn't the work of a monster after all…

I could never say these words aloud. What would people think of me then?

Thanks for everyone who's stuck around for this long, I promise to try and update at least sooner than six months next time!

-DarkRose