Author's Note:
Warning for mild dubcon in this chapter. I use the word mild because it doesn't amount to actual sex, but still, if this is triggering to you, please proceed with caution.

CHAPTER SEVEN
Confrontation

Regina felt her breath leave her from the sight of Emma on her porch, the woman looking at her with such raw intensity that Regina felt the gaze tear straight through to her heart. She looked incredibly worse for wear, eyes hollow and hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, her cheeks a tad more defined than Regina had seen a week ago. Emma was a mess, completely and utterly, and yet the sight of her was by far the most beautiful thing Regina could have hoped for in that moment.

Mulan stood behind her, looking terribly apprehensive about the state of their Sherriff when she made her impromptu appearance, but as Emma was her boss, she said nothing to contradict the decision. The blonde noticeably faltered for a moment, eyes taking in Regina's attire as a mixture of conflicting emotions passed over her face. The former queen felt her cheeks burn a little in embarrassment, knowing how terribly pathetic it must look that she was trudging around the house in her clothing. Thankfully, however, Emma did not comment on it.

Instead, she practically pushed her way past the threshold without a word, forcing Regina to back up a few steps to allow her entrance. When the door closed behind her, separating them from witnesses, Emma's expression turned distressed.

"Fix it…!"

It was said with such raw emotion, such overwhelming desperation, that it made Regina's heart clench painfully within her chest. "What?" she asked, the helplessness and confusion beginning to etch across her face as she watched the woman she loved fall completely apart before her in an instant.

"This, all of this…" Emma pleaded, voice cracking under strain as she stepped closer to Regina, invading her personal space. She touched her then, fingertips just barely grazing the soft skin of her cheek as she looked into her eyes with such hopelessness that it stole the breath right from Regina's lungs. "Just make it go away, make it like it never happened…"

Regina felt her mouth drop open, feeling overwhelmed and completely at a loss from the unexpected plea. The last time she had seen Emma, the woman could barely even look at her. Now she was standing before her, a mere breath away, her anger being outweighed by something far more predominant. "I…"

"You could do it, right?" Emma breathed, eyes searching hers as her fingers curled around the back of Regina's neck, holding her in place against her chest. She smelled strongly of alcohol and stale cigarettes, answering a question the brunette had yet to pose. "We could find where the magic went, you could… curse us or something – make us forget this ever happened – and we could take Henry and just… we could just leave, Regina…"

Distress masked across the brunette's face, feeling deep within her beating heart how much pain Emma was in. Her eyes were wild, desperate, and filled with unshed tears as she searched for a solution that Regina knew she could not give her. "Emma…" she whispered sadly. "You're drunk; you don't know what you're—"

"No," Emma said firmly, eyes hardening as she stared right through every wall Regina had ever built. "No, you don't get it. You don't get how fucking—!" But the words died in her throat, Emma finding herself unable to admit her weaknesses even as she fell apart before her eyes. Instead she pulled Regina closer, pressing their foreheads together as her eyes fluttered closed, breathing in everything the woman had to offer her.

Everything Regina could have given her, had she not fucked things up the first time around.

"We were happy," Emma whispered, the words sounding small and frail. Her hand slid from the back of her neck to cup her cheek, brushing her lips lightly against Regina's as she turned her face upwards to look into her eyes. "Don't you want that again…?"

"Of course I do," Regina breathed, feeling her eyes fall closed as Emma's thumb traced lightly over her bottom lip. The feeling of it overwhelmed her and a singular tear slipped down her cheek, trying to burn this moment into her memory, for she never believed Emma would be this close to her again, and now that she was, she feared it would once again be the last time she ever felt it. "But I can't—"

"Yes, you can," Emma told her fiercely, desperately, as she clung to Regina as though she was the only thing that even made sense to her in that moment. But she was in a haze, a haze of her own foolish making, and not one that Regina could find a way to release her from. "You're powerful, aren't you? Please, Regina… just make it go away…"

An onslaught of emotions rose up within Regina, without a hope or a prayer of even trying to stop them, and in an instant, instinct took over. Choking back a sob as her throat constricted painfully, Regina grasped for her, placing her palms on Emma's cheeks as she kissed her with all the love and sorrow that burned its way through her heart. Emma allowed the invasion, tangling her fingers in her hair as she parted her lips in invitation, her body pressing firmly against hers as they stumbled back against the far wall.

Emma tasted of whiskey and despair, her breathing uneven as she allotted Regina a moment that the brunette knew, deep within her gut, would not last. Still, they both grasped for the sanity that lay just out of reach, the weight of their shared sorrow suffocating the breath from their lungs. Emma had her pinned, nails scraping helplessly at the skin on the back of Regina's neck as they both allowed themselves, just for a moment, to forget what all had transpired between them.

When they broke, the loss of connection made Regina exhale a shuddered sob, her fingers tracing the outline of Emma's jaw as she breathed out her guilt for the pain she had caused. "I'm sorry…" she whispered, wishing that she really could just make all of the blonde's pain disappear. "God, Emma, I'm so sorry for what I've done to you…"

"Don't be sorry, just fix it," Emma fiercely breathed against her lips, her grip on the back of Regina's neck tightening almost painfully. "I know you can…"

Regina shook her head, distress running hot like fire through her veins. "I can't," she told her softly, apologetically. "I… I won't, Emma, I'm sorry…"

"Why?" Emma raged, the desperation within her forcing outwards as she practically shook Regina against the wall, needing to know the answer. "You owe me! You owe me this, Regina! You destroyed everything—!"

"And yet you're trying to make me seal a gaping wound with the likes of a band-aid!" Regina exclaimed, trying to make Emma understand what it was that she was asking for. "Magic comes with a price, Emma – it always does – and attempting to fix this in that way will only bring more pain in the end, I can assure you of that."

"No," Emma protested, shaking her head as her jaw locked tight. Eyes burning with unshed tears, she looked up at Regina, seeing through everything the woman said and finding so much more beneath the surface of it all. "No, that's not why you won't…"

Regina's eyes fell closed at the accusation, resting her forehead against the blonde's as the pain of truth tore through her. Face masking in guilt, she softly admitted, "If… even if I could find some way to cast it, one of us will remember. That will be the price, and I'm certain I'll be the one to pay it. And I'm sorry, but I can't… I won't live the rest of my life with you, knowing that you're only there, that we're only happy because you couldn't find it within yourself to accept the worst parts of me. It wouldn't be real."

Emma's eyes darkened, such fury rising up within her that it nearly made Regina gasp out loud. She pulled her forward before shoving her away forcefully, causing Regina's back to collide heavily against the wall. "What the hell gives you the right to put your happiness above mine, after everything—!"

"I'm still a person, Emma!" Regina exclaimed, needing her to realize that she wasn't the only one affected by everything that had happened; that she wasn't the only one in pain from this. "Perhaps I deserve a lot after everything I've done, but I damn well don't deserve to be trapped in another relationship that will bring me nothing but pain! I love you, I will always love you, but I will not live the rest of my life in some kind of fucked up façade that will do nothing but destroy my self-worth! Just because I'm bound to you, does not mean I'm yours to do with as you please!"

Emma looked at her as though she were speaking Hebrew, for all the good Regina's words did her. Features a conflicting mask of anger and confusion, Emma brutally grabbed the hem of Regina's t-shirt, pulling on it to accent her point. "Then what the hell are you doing? Why are you—if you… if you don't fucking want—"

Regina felt her cheeks involuntary flush and she shoved Emma's hand away from her before snapping, "I'm missing you, or is that not allowed now?" Emma still looked at her as though she wasn't comprehending anything that she was saying however, and Regina exhaled an impatient sigh. "Just because I want you back, does not mean that I'll take it in any way I can get it. Is that clear enough for you? Because you're looking at me as though I have three heads right now, and I don't understand how you can't—"

"I don't understand because that's all we've ever done, Regina!" Emma exclaimed, her words slurring a bit as they came out bitter and angry.

Regina hated how lost the blonde looked, as she should have known better than to have this conversation when Emma's comprehension skills were severely impaired. But it had been so long since she had seen her, so long since they had spoken, that Regina took what she could get; which probably did nothing but further Emma's confusion on why she wouldn't do that when it came to having a relationship based on lies, if that was the only thing being offered to her.

But that was different. That was… the price, it was too high. Regina had lived so much of her life being unhappy, and perhaps she always would be without Emma, but cursing herself into that kind of relationship would be far worse than never having one at all, she was sure of it.

"This, us…" Emma breathed, sliding her hands underneath Regina's night shirt, feeling the tautness of her muscles and the smoothness of her skin. Her lips brushed against Regina's neck, causing the brunette to inhale a sharp breath. "It's all been bullshit, hasn't it? We just pretend…"

Anger flashed in Regina's eyes and she shoved Emma away from her forcefully. "Don't you dare say that!" She didn't care how inebriated Emma was in that moment; that was just downright insulting. "Don't you fucking dare reduce it to nothing more than—!"

"What the hell would you call it then?!" Emma shouted, cutting her off mid-sentence, a fire blazing deep within her gaze. "We played house, Regina! We wrapped ourselves up in such bullshit, when we both knew that neither of us could ever really have something like that! So what the hell does it matter, really, how we stay together? Because of this True Love crap it's not like we have a choice, so why can't we just—!"

"You drunken, idiotic child," Regina spat, her patience for Emma's inebriated state having run out the moment she belittled the most honest thing she had ever felt for another human being. "Are you even thinking before you speak, or is your mouth running solely on the whiskey you drowned yourself in earlier? Pull yourself together. This is terribly pathetic, even for you; and believe me, dear, ever since I met you, you've set the bar unbelievably high."

Regina knew that was really uncalled for, but she was furious. She wanted nothing more than to work things out with Emma, but the woman that stood before her wasn't her Emma; just some pale, broken image of the woman she once was. She was falling apart, not fighting to keep her head above water throughout all this madness. Emma desperately needed her strength back, and Regina knew, from personal experience, that anger… well, that was the strongest emotion of them all, when love was nowhere to be found.

So she pushed her… and Emma snapped.

The Sherriff pinned Regina to the wall, the force of her body colliding with hers nearly knocking the breath from the brunette's lungs. Emma snarled at her, placing the edge of her forearm against Regina's throat as she pressed down, fire igniting behind her sapphire eyes as she stared the woman down like a starving predator.

"Do you want me to hurt you, is that it?" she shouted, looking like a lost pawn amongst the world's largest chess board. "Has the masochist in you come out to play, Regina?" Emma's fingernails dug painfully into the skin of her hip, just above the line of panties. Her chest was heaving, her eyes wild. "I don't know what the fuck it is that you want from me!"

"No, dear," Regina gasped out, the pressure on her throat making words harder to come by. "You know exactly what it is I want from you; it's you who doesn't know what you want from me."

She had hit some kind of nerve, struck some cord of truth, and Emma had no words of reply. She may have been angry, she may have been drunk, but Regina still noticed how conflicted she was from the moment she stepped inside of her home. Emma grasped for her then pushed her away, unable to find the answers she had been so desperately searching for as she continued to repeat the vicious cycle of indecision.

Until, finally, after moments of heavy breathing and an increasingly forceful grip, Emma misread every signal that Regina was giving her, and made the wrong decision.

The arm was ripped away from Regina's throat, Emma's hands grasping for her face instead as she crashed their lips together. The kiss was sloppy, desperate and violent, as teeth clashed together and tongues fought for the control that neither of them would ever really own. Regina whimpered, the sound emitting from the back of her throat without permission as she felt Emma's hands fall beneath her shirt, raking her nails upwards until firm hands kneaded the fullness of her breasts.

Regina tried to speak, tried to tell Emma that this was going to do nothing but make everything so much worse, but the words died in her throat as the blonde's mouth found her jugular. Emma bit down and Regina gasped, fingernails scraping helplessly against porcelain skin as her eyes hooded and her body fell against the wall. The submission in her was instinctual, yet her brain screamed for sense, as it was clear Emma had none of her own in that moment.

"Emma, stop it," Regina gasped finally, the words sounding almost painful to utter by how badly her body ached for the other woman's touch. But this wasn't what Emma needed, and Regina couldn't stomach taking advantage of how broken she was; that would be incredibly self-serving and cruel, even for her. If they were ever going to do this again, Emma needed to be sober.

However, the blonde merely laughed at her words, the sound vibrating against Regina's silken skin. "You wanna play games?" she purred, the words resonating with the dominance she so desperately craved over the woman who had caused all of this madness. Her eyes snapped to hers, a challenge brewing behind them. "Fine," Emma sneered against her lips. "We'll play."

Before Regina could register what happened, suddenly her wrists were locked in a death grip, her arms being pinned to the wall as Emma dropped to her knees before her. "Emma! Regina shouted, fighting against her grip as she tried to get some sense through her head. "I said stop!"

"Wouldn't be the first time you told me that," Emma responded with a heavy chuckle, still thinking this was all some sort of damn game. But Regina was quite serious, and was starting to feel the magic spark to life again within her, the instinctual need to protect herself becoming more predominant than anything else in that moment. She didn't really think Emma would hurt her, at least not intentionally, but she wasn't thinking clearly right then, and that worried Regina.

Still, the explosion she was expecting didn't come. Regina gasped as she felt Emma's mouth cover the damp material of her panties, and her hips pushed towards her without thought. Still, though her body wanted one thing, her brain wanted another, and that was the dominant factor throughout this chaos. It startled Regina, to feel the magic coursing through her, and realize that it hadn't yet pushed outward because she hadn't allowed it to.

She was controlling it.

"I will give you five damn seconds to let me go, or so help me…" Regina growled, wanting the other woman to realize how serious she was before she was forced to hurt her. Emma, however, still drunk and mind-numbingly stupid as to what was really happening around her, merely smirked.

"Or what, Regina? You're not exactly in a position to be making threats."

Snarling with fury over how idiotic Emma could be, Regina locked her eyes on her target before opening her palms, pushing her magic outwards with such strength that it violently collided with Emma's chest, sending her sprawling across the foyer floor. Emma coughed, struggling to breathe as Regina pushed herself off the wall, angrily straightening out her disheveled clothing as she stared down the woman who had violated her.

"We've never had a safe word, you stupid, insolent little cretin," she spat. "I don't care how drunk you are, use your fucking head! When I say stop, that means stop! That wasn't some damn game!"

Emma still lay on the floor, her eyes widening as she took in the pure fury that was etched on Regina's face. She looked like she was going to be ill. "I…" she tried, but words failed her. All of them except the whispered, distraught realization of, "Oh god…" as she finally saw, throughout her haze of alcohol and desperation, that she had done something terribly wrong.

"Get up," Regina ordered, hand reaching towards Emma's arm in a flash as she violently pulled the other woman to her feet. Emma stumbled, and was barely able to get her bearings before Regina reared back and slapped her hard across the cheek. Emma hissed in pain and grasped for her stinging flesh, yet did not lash out, knowing she deserved at least that much. "You're a fucking mess," Regina told her, tone uncaring as she told Emma the ugly truth. "And I want my damn son back."

"Regina…" Emma tried, but was cut off in an instant.

"No, I'm not going to cater to your mental breakdown anymore just because I feel guilty for having caused it," Regina snapped. "I don't even know who you are right now. You're nothing but a pathetic imitation of the woman I fell in love with, and I will not have my son around to witness you falling to fucking pieces."

"Our son," Emma corrected automatically, the argument almost instinctual at this point. Regina just laughed bitterly at the claim.

"When you start acting like a parent again, you can have that right back. Until then, he's mine." Emma tried to say something, but Regina wouldn't give her the chance. "Do you think I didn't notice, the moment you walked in here, how haggard you were? You looked like you haven't had a decent night's sleep in a week, like it's all one big fucking hangover for you. What the hell kind of environment is that for a child, Emma? For Christ's sake!"

What had transpired between them had, thankfully, seemed to sober Emma up enough to at least look ashamed of herself. Pushing the hair back from her face, the blonde averted her eyes. "Look, Regina, I…" She swallowed hard, distress crossing over her features. "I am so sorry. I didn't—I mean, I-I just thought…"

"I know what you thought," Regina snapped, knowing Emma was still hung up on the line she had been dangerously close to crossing. "And believe me, if it wasn't for the kind of sex we used to have, and the fact that I know you genuinely didn't mean me any harm – at least in that way – I would have flayed you alive for what you tried to do. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," Emma said quietly, still unable to look her in the eye. The amount of self-loathing the woman had for herself curled off her like smoke, but Regina felt no need to try to dissipate it. Emma needed to learn this lesson, and preferably the hard way, as it seemed to be the only time anything ever stuck with her.

"Good," Regina snarled, before taking a deep breath to try to calm herself, straightening her spine in an attempt to feel a little more put together. "Now, about my son…"

"Regina, I… I can't bring him here," Emma told her, words coming out practically mumbled and apologetic. She took a hesitant breath, trying to gather up her courage, before catching the brunette's eye with her own. "You know it's not safe. Some of the townspeople—"

"I am not leaving him with you," Regina told her fiercely. "You can barely take care of yourself, let alone a child right now."

"Alright, fine!" Emma exclaimed, unable to allow the painful truths to continue. She wrenched herself away from her, beginning to pace. "I'm in a bad place, okay, I got it! You don't have to shove it down my throat, Regina. For fuck's sake. I'll have David and Mary Margaret watch him if you don't trust me enough, but that's the best I can offer you, because you know he can't be here."

Regina's eyes flashed, not liking the idea of Snow White taking care of Henry, but in the end, it was their only option and they knew it. He couldn't stay at the manor, and he certainly couldn't be Emma's responsibility right now. She had already proved in a rather vivid manner how completely incompetent she was when she let her emotions consume her sanity, and Henry did not need to be around to witness his birthmother breaking in half.

"Fine," Regina replied shortly. There was a few beats of silence as Regina's eyes swept over the Sherriff, watching the woman fight the urge not to dwell on her prior forceful actions. It seemed Emma was losing the battle rather substantially however, and Regina sighed. "I think it's time for you to leave."

"Yeah," Emma quietly agreed, staring at the ground as she dug the toe of her boot into the grout. But yet, she didn't move. Regina stared at her for a few moments before Emma finally looked up at her, eyes still swimming with regret, and tried once more with, "Regina…"

"I know," Regina said softly, already aware of what exactly was going through the other woman's mind. "I know you are, Emma, and it's done. Just go home and get some sleep."

Emma nodded and took a deep breath, covering her face with her hands before running them downwards as she exhaled, trying to fight the haze in her mind that the alcohol had caused. But it was when they slipped from her face and Regina saw the first tear roll down Emma's cheek, that she realized why it was that the woman believed she needed to drink. She didn't want to feel this.

"Emma…" The name sounded painful falling from her lips, Regina's heart clenching in her chest as she no longer saw anger, nor confusion, but pure sorrow etched across the other woman's face.

Emma violently wiped the evidence of her upset from her cheeks, yet even as she did, another tear slid down her pale skin. "Fuck," she breathed, looking up at Regina helplessly. "It's always going to hurt like this, isn't it…?"

Regina pursed her lips, trying to get ahold of her own emotions. She didn't reach for her, although her body yearned to wrap Emma up in a comforting embrace. They needed space though, after everything that had happened, and so she stood her ground, wishing she had something other to say than the truth. "Probably," she whispered, her tone apologetic and soft.

"I thought… I thought that maybe if we just pretend…" Emma exhaled a long sigh, shaking her head as she turned away from her. She looked as though she felt foolish, yet still finished softly with, "We used to be good at that… you know?"

"No, we weren't," Regina disagreed, causing Emma to turn back towards her in question. The brunette gave her a small, sad smile, before gently reminding her, "If we were, we would have never ended up here."

Emma scoffed at that, a disbelieving chuckle falling from her lips as she furiously wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. "I thought we were destiny…" She said the word like it was something foul, and Regina tried like hell to not let that emotionally affect her. It was difficult.

"Destiny is the destination, dear," Regina answered softly. "We just happened to have taken the wrong path to get there."

Emma swallowed hard, accepting her words as truth. There was a long moment's silence, before Emma's cracked and heavy words sought to damage Regina's heart a little further. "I can't be with you." It sounded apologetic, but it was still firm, and it made the brunette turn her face away from her, not wanting Emma to see the tears brewing in the back of her eyes.

"I know."

A silence followed; long, heavy.

"I just… god, I just want everything to go back to how it was," Emma whispered finally, sounding so terribly pained by the fact that she would never again feel the comfort that love was supposed to allot her. It was clear she couldn't bring herself to leave just yet, and if truth be told, Regina didn't want her to. They were grasping at straws, perhaps; but as it was all they had, they hastily reached for them anyway.

"Please," Regina implored, breaking her own rule as she reached for Emma's hand. The blonde's desperation to forget scared her, and she felt she had to say something. Regina knew she would regret it if she did not. "Don't… please don't do anything rash."

Emma looked down at their clasped hands for a moment before slowly pulling away, folding her arms into herself as she took a step backwards. "I'm not going to take the potion," she told her. "If that's what you're worried about. Besides, I… honestly, I don't even know if it can be made here. Magic is…" But then she stopped mid-sentence, her eyes snapping up to meet Regina's as she realized something. "You used magic. Earlier, you—!"

Damn. Regina had been hoping she was too inebriated to notice.

"It's been happening off and on," she reluctantly admitted, knowing better than to lie about it when Emma had clearly already seen. Regina just hoped she wouldn't be trudged off to that damn cell again for it, as it was both terribly uncomfortable and undignified. "I still can't… fully control it. It comes and goes, like waves."

Emma sighed heavily, looking as though that information burdened her and she very much did not want to deal with it right now. "I don't… damnit. You know no one's going to like that you have access to magic, right?"

"Then don't tell anyone," Regina implored, stepping closer to her. "Please. You know it'll only cause panic."

Emma chewed on the inside of her cheek, looking at Regina apprehensively. Shaking her head, she exhaled a long breath as she asked, "But how am I supposed to trust that you're not going to… I don't know, fuck some more shit up with it? I mean come on, Regina, you already cursed—!"

"Emma," Regina interrupted firmly. "I swear on Henry's life that I won't."

That gave Emma pause, knowing Regina would never say something like that unless she truly meant it. It relieved some of her concern, and Regina watched Emma's muscles loosen as she relaxed a little. "Okay," she conceded softly, although she still sounded a little wary. Still, she pressed on with a firm, "Just don't make me regret it."

The plea was more than just about magic, and Regina knew it. Emma was taking a chance with trusting her, and even though it wasn't anything to do with them personally, and where they were or weren't in their relationship, it was still a step in the right direction, and Regina would be damned if she was going to screw that up.

So she caught her eye, needing Emma to see the honesty in her gaze, as she swore to her, "I won't."

TBC…