CHAPTER TEN
Banishment

Emma felt her heart shatter as she watched Henry cling to Regina with tears in his eyes, unable to let her go in fear that it would really be the last time that he ever saw her. Regina looked devastated, but would not allow her own tears to fall in favor of trying to comfort her son. She ran her fingers through his tussled hair and kissed his forehead protectively, whispering promises that everything would be alright. Still, the words held little meaning without a guarantee, and that was something they couldn't give him. At least, not yet.

Emma had an idea, but she had yet to voice it to Regina. If it wasn't going to work, there was no need to give Henry false hope, and so she awaited privacy so that they could discuss their options.

Emma meant it when she said she wouldn't allow Regina to lose her son. And maybe it wasn't ideal, not in any sense of the word – especially for her own sense of sanity – but it was the only option she could see at the moment. She just hoped it was feasible, because seeing Henry like this… Emma couldn't handle it. It tore her apart inside and made her feel so incredibly helpless, and not at all like the protective mother that she should've been for the kid.

"I need to speak with Emma for a minute," Regina told him softly, brushing the hair from Henry's tear-stained eyes. "We're going to discuss our options, okay? So why don't you go on upstairs and help me finish packing up; find some of your favorite pictures of us, or something else meaningful to you, that you would like me to bring. Can you do that for me?"

Henry sniffled, rubbing his runny nose on the sleeve of his shirt before nodding. Regina gave him a soft smile, then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "This won't be the last time I see you," she promised softly. "One day, no matter how long it takes, I will come back for you."

"Do you promise?" Henry asked, his voice so terribly small and sad.

"I promise."

Henry looked at her for a long moment before enveloping her in another hug. Regina squeezed him fiercely before letting him go, and the kid shot a hopeful, pleading look at Emma before bounding up the stairs. Once he disappeared into his bedroom, Regina finally allowed herself to feel, and tears began sliding down her cheeks as she got to her feet.

There was so much unresolved between the two of them, so much deep-seated anger that Emma still felt towards the woman who had betrayed her, and yet still, in that moment, Emma knew that now wasn't the time to dwell on any of that. Regina had faced enough devastation as it was and really needed someone right then, and like she had said that morning, Emma was all that she had.

So the blonde stepped towards her, the love that still resided in her heart unable to allow Regina to just stand there and cry alone, and wrapped the woman up in her arms. The gesture seemed to break Regina even more and she buried her face in Emma's neck, the force of her sobs wracking her entire body. It broke Emma's heart to see her like this; despite all that had happened, no one deserved this cruel a fate. Regina loved Henry more than anything else in this world, and just the mere thought that she would be separated from him forever nearly broke her in two.

"I want to take him and run," Regina breathed against her neck, the admission cracking her already strained voice. "The urge is so strong I can barely contain it, barely… barely think of anything else. But Emma, I… God, I can't—"

"Do that to me," Emma finished for her softly, running her fingers through the other woman's hair. "I know, Regina. That's… I love you for that, okay? I… I really do."

And she did, but that still didn't change anything between them. Emma was sure that she would always love Regina, but that was what killed her; that's what made it hard to just wake up in the morning and function, the inability for her to accept that she would probably have to live the rest of her life without being with her, because the things that Regina had done… it was too hard to just look past them. She couldn't, and Emma hated that more than anything. She felt like she was being torn in half.

She loved Regina with every inch of her being, yet she despised the horrors that the woman had inflicted on others so much that sometimes it was hard to even look at her. Regina was the reason that she had grown up without a family, she was the reason Graham and countless others had died. And it disgusted Emma, that despite all that, she still wished that she could just forget it all and fall into her. She missed how happy she had been, how happy they had been together, more than anything else.

And people wondered why she drank herself nearly to death. Emma couldn't emotionally handle being pulled in two different directions; it crumbled her sanity.

But she had drank quite a bit earlier, and it at least made her able to focus on one direction for the time being. And perhaps it wasn't entirely smart, but Emma knew that Regina couldn't handle her anger and bitterness right now, and so she gave her something else; something that, hopefully, would make this separation a little easier for the time being.

Emma closed her eyes, trying to block out the little voice in the back of her mind as she uttered the words she knew she could never take back once she said them, for giving Regina hope and then taking it away so brutally would be far worse than never saying them at all. "We'll follow you," Emma told her softly. "Henry and I, we'll… we can leave Storybrooke."

Regina blinked, pulling away from Emma with a disbelieving look etched across her tear-stained features. "What?" she asked breathlessly. "Are you…?"

"Being near you is going to fuck me up," Emma admitted, because she needed Regina to understand what exactly she was offering here, "And probably in a really bad way. But… maybe it was stupid to think that I'd ever really be able to get away from you, when we share a son. He needs you, Regina. I'm not… fuck, I'm not cut out to be a single parent; at most I'm a glorified babysitter for the kid. He's better off with you, with visitation rights from me. You can give him more than I can."

Regina pursed her lips, emotion flickering across her face before she told her softly, "You underestimate your own ability, dear."

"Maybe," Emma conceded. "But that still doesn't mean that he's not better off with you. We're like… god, like divorced parents, aren't we? It's so…" The blonde shook her head, resting her eyes on the far wall. "But you were right when you said I couldn't take care of myself right now, let alone a kid. I've never really been able to take care of myself, honestly; not in any way that really matters. I just float around from one place to the next and do what I have to to get by, but I've never really had any kind of stability, no real sense of home. Henry needs that, and I think that he'll get that with you, no matter where you end up."

Regina's face softened with emotion, and without thought she reached her hand up, gently cupping the Sherriff's cheek. "Emma…" she breathed. "You do… realize that if you leave, you will never be able to come back. Your parents—"

"I know," Emma responded quietly, hesitating at the feeling of Regina's skin against hers for a moment before she gently turned her face away from the touch. "But Henry's just a kid; we gotta do what's best for him, even if it's not ideal for us. That's what being a parent is about… right?"

Regina smiled at her softly, as though she was really proud of the woman Emma was shaping up to be despite all the hardships she had been put through, and nodded her understanding. "Alright," she responded. "If you're certain that's what you want, then I'll at least need you to watch Henry for a couple weeks while I figure out a good place for us to settle down. I'll not only have to find a place for Henry and I to live, but you as well; and on top of finding jobs for the both of us, wherever we go needs to have a good enough school system for our son."

Emma exhaled a long breath, the movement puffing out her cheeks a bit as she slumped against the wall. "Damn," she murmured. "I didn't…"

"Realize it would entail so much?" Regina finished for her gently, knowing that whenever Emma had picked up and moved, it never involved that much thought or planning. The blonde nodded, prompting Regina to continue, "If we didn't have Henry to think about, perhaps we would have been able to just go now and stay in a motel room until we have our affairs in order, but that's not a good environment for a child. I know Henry will be glad for this, but it will still be very hard on him to leave; he has lived in Storybrooke his whole life, so if we can, we need to make the transition a little easier for him."

"Yeah, no, I… I get it," Emma told her, running her fingers through her hair before shaking her head. "I just… with everything that's been going on…"

"Emma," Regina said seriously, placing her hands on the other woman's biceps to get her full attention. "I am trusting you to take care of our son, and that means you have to take care of yourself for a little while. Please just— I… I know things have been hard on you lately, but you're stronger than this addiction you've fallen into. I know you are."

Emma hated how weak she had become over the past couple weeks, and it shamed her really badly, to have to listen to Regina beg for her to be proper parent to their son while she was gone. She should be able to do that anyway, and yet every day she awoke she felt like she was slipping further into a black hole she couldn't claw her way out from. Even if she didn't drink to excess on some days, she still drank because facing the world and her emotions completely sober frightened the hell out of her.

Emma had become something she hated, yet trying to fix it seemed to scare her even more than continuing to fall deeper into the abyss.

"Regina…" her voice was soft, apologetic, but Regina would have none of it.

"Emma," she said firmly, taking the blonde's chin in her hand to force her to look into her eyes. "You have to promise me. This is important."

Emma inhaled a shuddered breath at the fierceness in the other woman's gaze, feeling as though it burned a hole through her. She cast her eyes downwards in an instant, though did not move from Regina's grasp. "I'll try," she breathed, but that wasn't good enough.

"Don't try, do it," Regina told her strongly. "Emma, look at me. Promise me, right now."

Emma looked up at her once more, feeling the back of her eyes sting with fresh tears. This was too much; she hadn't drank nearly enough today to combat these kinds of emotions, and it was slowly breaking down the walls that intoxication had built around her heart. Regina's face softened at her distress, but she did not waver from her request. She needed to hear it.

"Regina," Emma breathed, her voice sounding so broken and small. "I'm falling apart…"

"I know," Regina whispered sadly, and the guilt in her tone was evident enough to pierce straight into the blonde before her. She took Emma's face in her hands, cradling her as she leaned her forehead against hers, trying to give her comfort in the only way she really knew how to.

"No, you don't know," Emma choked out, feeling a hot tear scorch its way down her cheek. "I love you and I hate you, and it's… I can't stay in one direction and I feel like I'm being torn in half. I can't live like this. I can't… I can't look at you and not know how I'm supposed to feel; it's driving me insane."

Regina closed her eyes, and Emma could feel her sorrow before she even opened her mouth. "You're not going to be able to do this… are you?" She sounded as though her entire world was crumbling down around her, but that wasn't Emma's intention by saying that at all. She just… she felt as though she needed to voice it, at the very least; have Regina understand how hard this was going to be for her.

"No, I… I said I would," Emma told her, wiping the tears from her eyes as she pulled back, needing the space. "It's the best thing for Henry. I'll… I don't know, find some way to deal with it, I guess."

Regina creased her eyebrows, sadness mapping every inch of her features as she wiped another fallen tear off of Emma's cheek. "The last thing I want to do is torture you, Emma. I… well, perhaps if we—"

"Regina," Emma interrupted, her voice firm despite how scratchy and tight her throat had become. "I said I'd do it. He matters more. Just… just get that this is gonna really suck for me, okay? And… and maybe lie to me and tell me that it's going to get better."

Without even a moment's hesitation, Regina complied with her wishes and told her, "It's going to get better."

Emma laughed. It was soft, disbelieving, yet still, there was a sense of happiness in it, glad that Regina had done what she had asked without thought, just because she needed to hear it be said.

"It won't though, will it?"

"Perhaps not," Regina replied honestly, her eyes searching out the blonde's gaze before continuing, "But I swear to you, Emma, even if I can never truly make it up to you, it won't stop me from trying every single day of my life."

Those words struck something within Emma that was hard to name, yet it shot through her veins like a fire, compressing her heart in her chest and making it thump rapidly beneath her ribcage. She turned away from her, unable to look Regina in the eye for too long, as it only stood to make her even more conflicted. But the brunette took Emma's hands in hers, drawing the attention back towards her.

"Promise me, Emma," she requested softly. "Now."

Emma swallowed and looked down at their linked hands, terrified that she was going to swear to something she couldn't do, despite knowing that the option to fail could never really be available to her. This was too important. Henry was too important.

And so hesitantly Emma nodded, catching Regina's gaze once more as she whispered her promise of, "I'll take care of him, Regina. I swear."

[x]

There was an ungodly amount of people at the town line, all wishing to bear witness to the Evil Queen's final defeat as she was run out of Storybrooke for good. It infuriated Regina, to be put on such display, but she tried to block the peasants from her mind as she parked her black Mercedes just a few feet from the town line. She blinked heavily, pausing a moment to get ahold of her own emotions before stepping from the vehicle; it was bad enough that this final exchange had to have witnesses, but to come apart during it all would make this much more shameful.

Regina took a breath as she opened her car door, her heels clicking against the pavement as she walked over to where Henry and Emma stood, the blonde's arm firmly around the child's shoulders. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, but tried to brush it off as she gave Henry a small smile, kneeling down a little to come to his height.

He practically catapulted into her arms.

Regina held tight to him, allowing Henry to bury his face into her hair. "It'll be okay," she breathed into his ear, just low enough for only him to hear. "Just a few weeks, alright? I promise." Henry nodded into her neck, and Regina continued softly, "But remember, this is our little secret. So… you have to pretend that this is the last time that you're going to see me." Regina didn't really want to say the next words out of her mouth, but she knew they had to put on a convincing show, less they wished to makes the Charmings suspicious. "Are you… able to cry a little, dear?"

Regina could feel Henry smirk against the skin of her neck, and she tried not to outwardly react to it, although she was secretly pleased that her request seemed to amuse him, at the very least.

"Emma taught me," he whispered into her ear, just before a sob suddenly wracked his tiny body, and it sounded so damn convincing that Regina held tighter to him on instinct. She was almost proud of him for it, despite that fact that she had the urge to lecture Emma for at least a solid half hour for teaching their son such a thing, as she was sure Emma only taught him that so he could get out of trouble with his adoptive mother.

Regina suddenly found herself questioning each and every time her son had cried, but forced herself to push past it, as now was really not the time to dwell on such things.

Keeping up with the image, Regina hushed her son, telling him that it would be alright while Snow and Charming began to look more and more uncomfortable behind Emma. They knew Henry's distress was their fault, and the vindictive streak in Regina reveled in their pain. She hoped they felt positively awful, because what they did was beyond cruel; not just to her, but to Henry as well.

They were lucky that Emma had found a suitable alternative; otherwise this 'last goodbye' would have happened a hell of a lot differently.

Emma came over then, gently placing a hand on Henry's shoulder. "Let me talk to your mom for a second, okay, kid?" she softly requested, and Henry mutely nodded as he pulled away, tears still streaming down his face. The image broke Regina's heart, and despite knowing that it was staged, she reached out for him for another moment, clasping their hands together as she gave him a small smile.

"I love you, Henry; more than anything in this world. Don't ever forget that, alright?"

Henry sniffled, but nodded. "I love you too, Mom," he whispered quietly, before giving her one last look and fleeing towards Ruby, bypassing Snow and Charming completely, as it had been deemed entirely their fault that this was happening. Snow looked wounded, as she had held out her arms to try to comfort him, but what was she honestly expecting? She had banished his mother.

Idiot girl. Stupid, petulant child. Regina hoped she choked on the misery that she caused.

She got to her feet, coming eye level with Emma. The two women noticeably paused, unsure of how to part ways, considering everything that happened between them. Staged or not, neither of them really knew what the appropriate thing to do was, however they knew that if this was really happening, was really permanent, that they would never leave without saying something to one another.

It just seemed neither knew how to start.

So Regina threw appropriate out the window and went with her gut reaction instead. If she, truly, was never going to see Emma again, then there really was only one thing that she would do. So without warning she stepped towards her, eradicating the space between them, and tangled her fingers through blonde locks as she pulled the woman into a fierce kiss.

Emma noticeably froze, and a soft gasp from Snow was heard behind them, followed by a quick, "Don't," from Charming, who no doubt restrained the woman from going over and physically stopping them.

It took a few seconds, but Emma finally fell into her, breathing a defeated sigh against her lips as she allowed Regina to consume her. She touched her face, pushing into Regina a little as she deepened the kiss, and the brunette found she no longer had to act distressed, for she realized that another moment like this wasn't a guarantee. It was a gut-wrenching truth that tore her apart inside, and so Regina reveled in this moment as though it were her last, as it very well could be.

Regina's fingers danced along the back of her neck, her thumb caressing the hollow of Emma's throat in a possessive manner that only the woman before her would ever truly understand and appreciate. It seemed to hit Emma with some kind of memory though and she shuddered with desire, whimpering very softly into Regina's mouth, before her brain finally caught up to the reality of the situation and she forced herself to pull away.

Breathing heavily, Emma looked up at her, her expression a mixture of conflicting emotions that began to make Regina feel terribly guilty. Perhaps she shouldn't have put Emma through that, but it was the most honest reaction she could think of in that moment.

"I'm sorry," Regina breathed, still holding tight to the back of Emma's neck as her eyes fell closed, gently leaning her forehead against the other woman's. It was an apology for what she had just done, despite needing it to sound like a generalization to anyone listening. "I… I love you, Emma Swan; more than you could ever possibly hope to imagine. Even if you do try to forget me in time, please don't ever forget that you were loved, because no one else could ever be so deserving of it."

Emma tried to blink back tears, but one slipped down her cheek regardless, and the former queen had the suspicion that it wasn't faked at all. Regina gently wiped it away with her thumb before dragging the digit downwards, momentarily tracing Emma's bottom lip as though she was enamored by her beauty. And perhaps she was, perhaps she always would be, even when Emma was old and gray. Still, parting from her was hard, even if they would inevitably see each other again, and Regina didn't want to move away from the woman that had finally filled the void inside of her heart.

And then, words came back to her that she had never expected to be voiced in front of others. "I love you too, Regina," Emma breathed, the words being enveloped by a sob before she forcefully pushed herself away from the brunette, unable to be near her any longer due to the pain that the truth brought her. Emma drank to run from it, yet despite her efforts, she really could never run far enough to forget.

It killed Regina inside, to know how much this arrangement was going to hurt the woman she loved. Yet in the end, she could not bear to never see Henry again, and so she allowed Emma to be hurt by it. Regina felt sick because of it, and yet it changed nothing.

Snow came to her daughter then, gently clasping her hand around Emma's wrist to encourage her away from Regina. "Come on, Emma," she tried softly, but Emma just yanked her wrist from her mother's grasp before stomping over towards Henry, not even sparing her parents another glance.

Regina stared her down; Snow, the woman who had caused her so much pain over the years, and yet still insisted on causing more. And even though she knew that she shouldn't, Regina couldn't help her instinct, for she knew that if this really was the end of the road, she would have done it anyway.

So before Snow knew what was happening, Regina moved, her fist brutally colliding with the other woman's face.

Snow cried out as blood squirted from her nose, the crowd gasped, and Charming ran towards his wife while Emma exclaimed, "Shit, Regina!" before running full throttle towards her, getting herself between Regina and her father, as he looked like he was going to retaliate in a pretty violent way.

Emma had the flat of her hands on both Charming and Regina's chests, forcefully keeping them apart as Snow stumbled back behind her husband, frantically grasping at her nose to try to make the bleeding stop. Regina's eyes were like fire as she sneered, "Hurt my family like this again, and I will destroy you, Snow. I don't care about the damn boundary; I will find a way."

"Don't you dare threaten my wife, Regina! Because you will not like how it—!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Emma shouted, using all of her strength to furiously shove them apart, forcing the two of them to take a couple steps backwards. Regina was breathing heavily, her eyes flashing with hatred as she continued to stare down Snow, not even bothering to acknowledge Charming's existence. He was so terribly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things anyhow.

"Regina, you need to go," Emma told her, rounding on her former lover before wrapping her hand around her bicep, guiding her towards the car.

Regina went without a fight, sparing one last glance at Henry, who was staring at the scene before him with wide eyes. A pang of guilt shot through Regina, as she shouldn't have done that with her son present, but she hadn't thought before she acted, and there was no way to do it differently now. Maybe Henry would understand, although a part of her still hoped that he never would, as she didn't want him growing up believing violence was condoned under certain circumstances.

When they got to the car, Regina grasped Emma's hand, not allowing her to go just yet as she told her, "Tell Henry that what I just did was wrong. I don't want him thinking—"

"I will, because what you just did was stupid, Regina," Emma hissed, low enough so that no one else would hear her. "I get wanting to hit her, but how much harder do you think it's going to be for Henry and I now, to tell them that we're going to leave? My pa—Mary Margaret and David," she corrected, as she was still unable to use the 'p' word, "are probably going to be determined now more than ever to stop it."

"Then don't tell them," Regina told her shortly, as though her easy answer would dismiss the shame she felt for acting like that in front of quite a lot of witnesses.

"What, just up a leave?" Emma whispered back fiercely, "We can't do that, Regina. That's fucked; Henry's their grandson."

Regina sighed, slumping against the car door. This day had been emotionally exhausting, and it seemed that it was finally catching up with her. "We can't talk about this now," she reminded her. "Go buy yourself a new phone and call me this weekend, alright? Please."

"Fine," Emma conceded, before gently pulling herself away from her. "Just do me a favor and don't do anymore stupid things while we're apart; I can't protect your hostile ass if I'm not there."

Her words actually startled Regina and she looked at Emma, eyebrows rising in surprise at what was just implied. The blonde seemed to realize what she had said too, just a little too late, and she averted her gaze as she grumbled, "You know what I mean," as she began to walk away from her, back towards Henry, and away from a statement she clearly did not want to elaborate on.

"Yes, dear," Regina murmured, trying to hide the small smile that was threatening to make an appearance at Emma's unexpected words. "I believe I do."

TBC…