Chapter 9
Hey! I know it's been a while since I've posted, sorry! I had a lot going on last week and didn't get a chance to even type anything! Anyway, here it is, enjoy!
I sit on the hospital steps as the sun rises. I watch as the gentle orange light creeps up and touches everything with its loving glow. While I watch this peaceful event I fret. I didn't feel like sleeping, I had slept almost three days away after my tangle with Twin. I had tried to strategize but I knew it was a wasted mental effort.
Footsteps catch my attention and I look up to see Saskue, Shickamaru, and Kiba carrying Akamaru. I stand up, stretching to prepare for our mission.
"Good morning, Red. You're looking better already." Kiba greets me, giving me an appreciative look.
I smile, "All ready to go on a foolish mission that will end in our deaths?" My last attempt at trying to entice them to stay here, stay safe.
"Ready when you are." Saskue replies sarcastically, not missing a beat.
Shickamaru glances around, "It's strange that Naruto is late."
"Then you obviously don't know him very well." Saskue says, "He's always sleeping in and showing up at the last minute. It's so irritating."
"No, I mean, it's strange for this mission, since we're trying to rescue Sakura and all."
Curious, I ask. "What difference does it make? If he doesn't want to come, he doesn't have to."
"He's really into Sakura. He should be eager to get going and rescue her. You know how he is, he'll be trying to make himself look like the big hero in her eyes." Shickamaru shrugs. "Oh well. I don't mind waiting for him, I'm not exactly excited to start all the on foot travel this mission is gonna require. What. A. Drag."
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. They knock the wind out of me. They put out the light inside of me and I feel cold all over. I try to keep my face calm and blank. Does my devastation show? I hope not. I try to arrange my features to display indifference. Oh? He's in love with another girl? How nice. Lovely weather this morning isn't it?
I hear running steps coming closer; the heartbeat behind them is so familiar to me. I turn around to check my supplies, even though I know I've over looked nothing. I just don't want to look into his face and feel my broken heart ache for the impossible.
He approaches the group but I cut in before he can utter a greeting. "We should make sure that Twin is not hiding here inside the village before we head out. He is a master at cloning and he can copy the slightest detail. He can convince you that he is whoever he is trying to portray. We should split into the groups I've chosen to get this task done quickly. We'll meet back at this spot in two hours. Saskue, you will go alone. Your sharingan will allow you to see through any jitsu or trick he throws at you. Because you are alone, be especially careful. I assume that you prefer to work alone and that you have no problem with this decision?"
Saskue smirks, "Wise choice." He bows mockingly to me before bounding off on his own.
"Jerk!" I call out, hearing a ghost of a chuckle.
"Next, I'm going to pair Shickamaru and Naruto." I avoid his look and stare straight at Shickamaru. "You will be able to find out who is real and who is a clone. You're smart enough to logic through his disguises. His acting is not flawless. However, if you're very unsure find Saskue or I. Naruto will watch your back." I turn away from them. "Good luck, remember, two hours." I say as a way to dismiss them.
I do not look up at Kiba. I give myself a moment to get my scrambled emotions in order. I choke back rage and sorrow in record timing and then, glance up at Kiba's face.
He's studying me carefully; his eyes are cold and analytical.
"I picked you, because along with my power to hear…things Akamaru will be able to sniff out trouble while you watch our backs." I offer as an explanation as to why I picked him over the obvious choice.
"Red, don't be so beat up over Naruto."
I'm shocked. I thought I had perfectly concealed the mess happening inside of me.
"I know you think you tricked everyone, and maybe you did. Saskue doesn't care how anyone feels, Shickamaru wasn't watching you for a reaction, and Naruto has no idea what's up. But I saw your eyes." His stare demands to be met, I cannot deny or break it. "He broke your heart."
His words trigger something in me. The wall I have constructed in this short amount of time is flimsy and those words have charged through it and broken a huge gap in it. A flood of emotions bears down on me.
Covering my face, I sit on the hospital steps and cry. Kiba sighs and sits next to me. I don't look up at him, my grief is private. But I can feel him watching me.
"Why?" I choke out around racking sobs. "Why make me care if he already loves another? What's the point? Why act the way he did?" Then I really give in to despair. This time, Kiba puts a warm arm over my shoulder and lets me cry. After five minutes of extreme water works, I can cry no more. I look up at his face through red eyes and the look there gives me sore heart another twist. Kiba loves me. Not the way Naruto does…did? Different, but still strong.
"Hey now," he soothes, "that colors great in your hair but not your eyes. It makes the green look creepy." He gives a fake shudder. What a pitiful attempt to make me smile.
I smile for him anyway, even manage a giggle.
"That's better!" He says, using the back of his hand to brush away a few stray tear drops. "Wait here a second." He runs off out of sight. I lean back a little and glance at the sky and think about the predicament I'm in now. Kba and Naruto I care for them both, but I can't love them both at the same time. It'll destroy us all. I can't love Naruto, not if he loves another. A memory of his laughter dances through my head. My heart picks up a beat at the imagined sound. I put a hand on my chest. No, I remind it, he's gone. I owe him my life. The least I can do is return his lover to him and leave them to be happy. I never intended to stay here anyway, not really. I'll make myself a memory.
I lift my shirt and glance down at the star scar. This is my curse. I can never find a true home.
Kiba has returned with his hands behind his back. "I got somethin for ya," he says. A faint blush colors his cheeks. "A little gift before this mess gets started."
I'm curious to say the least. He's shy however, almost embarrassed. With a sigh, he reveals his offering to me, a handful of colorful flowers.
I cock my head to the side, confused now. What am I supposed to with these? Do they have healing properties? I'm not hurt though. "Uh, thanks! That's a great gift. They sure are…well…" I trail off, looking at him for a clue.
"Aw, come on Red, give a guy a break! How am I supposed to know what girls like? I thought they liked flowers."
Girls like flowers? Whatever for; to eat? "They look lovely!" I say happily. His face lights up at the compliment. I must be right. I open my mouth and shove the colorful buds in biting down.
EW. These are horrible.
Kiba looks shocked. Then he rolls with laughter. "What the hell, girl? You don't eat them!" He manages between get gawuffs of laughter.
I spit them out; grateful I don't have to finish them. "Well what the fuck are they good for then?" I demand grumpily.
I'm still spitting our flowers, to Kiba's merriment when Naruto and Shickamaru show back up.
"You guys haven't left yet!" Naruto accuses us. "It's nice to know some of us have to do all the work around here." He crosses his arms and gives Kiba a jealous stare.
"Naruto wanted to come back to check on Red." Shickamaru cuts in.
"Hey! I had a valid reason! She just got off her death bed!"
"I'm fine," I try to insist suddenly breathless at the reappearance of Naruto. My broken heart jumps back to life and pounds with vigor.
He looks at me with those blue eyes. They threaten to take the last of the air out of my lungs. "Then why did you pick Kiba over me?" He demands, hurt.
My arms want to wrap around him and protect him from the hurt I'm inflicting on him. "Kiba needs me more." I say.
Kiba stands up and places himself protectively between Naruto and me. "Stop hurting her."
"How am I hurting her?"
"Everyone knows how you feel about Sakura, Naruto. Even her." Kiba jerks a thumb in my direction.
Naruto's hands ball into hard fists. "Why would you tell her that? That was before I met her. It's all different now. Sure, I had a crush on Sakura, but that's all it was, a crush." Naruto steps forward shoving his face close to Kiba's. "Red is my only priority now. Sakura is my teammate and my friend and I will save her because Red wants to rescue her from a fate that only she knows. So I'm going with Red, to save my friend, and to protect her from her monsters. He sneers at Kiba. "What you feel for her is nothing. I would know because what I feel for her and what she feels for me runs much, much deeper."
"Naruto…" I whisper. My heart fills up at the sound of the truth ringing in his voice. It heals itself. It's like it was never broken in the first place. I stand to my feet.
Suddenly, reality sets in. I can see Naruto struggling to hold back, to keep from hurting his friend. If I let this love triangle get in the way of my mission, an innocent girl suffers.
"Boys!" I demand sharply. All three heads turn to face me. "Right now Sakura is in danger. She needs us so we can't worry about what's going on in our private lives. We still have one hour to search the village. Naruto, go with Shickamaru. Kiba, we have lost time to make up for so we have to go double quick. Let's move." Shickamaru nods and leaves. Naruto follows, but not before turning to me and grabbing my hand, giving in a warm squeeze that sets my heart glowing. He sends Kiba a warning glare over my head.
Kiba calmly takes my other hand, pulling me away and breaking my contact with Naruto. As he drags me away I reach out my hand to Naruto whose hand is also stretched out toward mine.
There is now a war of emotions inside of me. My love for Naruto... my love for Kiba… my doubt in being able to keep Naruto's love… a need to save this girl; And most importantly, a fear of facing my old nightmares.
Me and Kiba spent the hour searching very closely, and quietly. I could tell that Naruto's words had upset him and that he was thinking deeply about them. It makes me more than a little sick to know that my little make shift family is falling apart. I knew that I could never accept Kiba's love, even if Naruto didn't love me. It would not be fair to try and love him when my heart belonged to another.
Thankfully, we come up empty on the search, I'm pretty confident that the others will as well. I try to think up a plan ahead of time, knowing what is waiting to face us.
In silence we made our way back to the hospital.
"Red, I know you love him…but you could learn to love me too." Kiba's voice slashed through the quietness between us, and my heart.
"Kiba…" There is no easy way to really let him down, let him know that there is really no choice. I can't choose between Naruto and Kiba, because the decision has already been made for me.
"I'm not forcing anything. You'll get to know him. When you get sick of him and his ways, remember me. I'll be waiting for you." He smirks sadly at me.
Tears slide down my cheeks. "You boys…you're my family now. Please, don't tear it apart. Don't love me; you don't anything about me, where I came from. If you did you wouldn't choose me. Please Kiba, don't love me."
Kiba stops and puts a hand on my shoulder. "I could know you if you would let me. But I accept your feelings. However, I don't give up, not that easily. You'll learn to deal with it. I still think though, you should tell me something about you, about your past. Not everything, just a little something."
Kiba's hand feels warm and strong on my shoulder. It doesn't make me feel the same way as when Naruto puts his hand on me. Different, but still good. "I promise you Kiba, I will tell you the truth. Everything. Tonight."
When we finally get to the hospital Shickamaru and Naruto are already there.
Kiba walks up to Naruto and sticks his hand out. "Look kid, I'm not giving up on her. But I can't tear her family apart for my own selfish reasons. She wants to rescue the girl, so do I. We have to work together though, or we don't stand a chance."
Naruto grabs his offered hand. "For the girls," he says quietly, but fiercely.
Kiba smiles, "What fun would any of this be without a little competition anyway?"
They grin at each other. Bone heads.
I hear Saskue land behind me. "I couldn't find the faintest trace of him or Sakura anywhere. He's gone. This was a waste of time."
I nod my head, not turning to face him. "I needed to be sure before I left this place." Now I turn to him, "It's time to go."
The others gather by us. I close my eyes as a wave of dark fear rises up and tries to drag me under. I bite my lip hard. She needs me. I stuff down my feelings. I open my eyes and smile mockingly at them. "Just try and keep up." I'm off like a shot, laughing at their surprised faces.
They do a wonderful job of keeping up though. Kiba and Naruto are on my heels, racing to see who is faster. Saskue holds back a little, while Shickamaru brings up the rear.
"Red, can I ask you a question?" Naruto asks.
"Sure."
"When you said that he likes something pretty to play with…what did you mean by that?"
"He likes to push pretty girls to see how powerful they really are. He'll send wave after wave of attackers at her just to see what she can do. As long as she keeps winning, she keeps living. But if she loses, she dies. It amuses him to watch people struggle." The words are bitter coming out.
I hear Kiba growl behind me.
We travel until the day grows dark. I stop at a random clearing, I don't know how far we've traveled, but we're close to our goal. We need to rest. We'll need to be at full strength to even have a chance at saving that girl from Twin. He will be moving slowly, because he thinks that he has already won. What an arrogant fool. Either way, we can easily afford the rest.
We make a fire and assign watches for the night. As the night grows darker and the fire grows brighter, I revel in the sound of the care free chatter around me. I close my eyes and let the sound wash over me, trying to drown out my anxiety.
"Red, you made me a promise."
Kiba's direct comment to me catches my attention, and my dismay.
"What did you promise him?" Naruto asks.
"To tell my story," I reply easily.
The chatter between Saskue and Shickamaru ceases.
"No! You don't have too! He doesn't know what he's asking you to do." Naruto says.
I open my eyes to stare into his, directly across the fire from me. "They deserve to know. I'm ready now." My voice is hard, determined.
So, I tell my story, and I tell it all. Word for word and horror for horror. The man who gave me my name. The life I lived under Diablo's watchful eyes. And for a finishing touch, I lift my shirt over my belly button to show them the scar that marks me as Diablo's property.
With my scar revealed, I stare up at the stars, bracing myself for their reactions. When I'm brave enough I look down at look to Saskue first. He seems calm, not rattled at all by my story. I wonder at his story then. He must understand suffering to be so unaffected at what I've said. He notices my gaze and nods at me.
Next, I look to Shickamaru, who is showing more of a reaction. He looks shocked, his hand twitches towards me. "Red…how?" he whispers.
I look at Kiba next. He's on his feet, pacing and growling out explicatives. He pauses to face me, so that I can see the rage boiling in his face. He snarls and grinds his teeth and begins to pace again.
Somehow, Naruto has made his way over to me and his finger is tracing the scar on my skin. I don't look down at his face. I hang my head in shame instead. I push his hand away, rising to my feet and run. I run for a few minutes, I'm really not keeping track of the time or where I'm going. I run until I reach a little brook. I sit next to that, pulling my knees up and burying my face. I listen to the song of the water over the rocks; let it fill my head so that it can remain safely empty.
I know I must have been sitting here a while when I hear someone sit next to me. I wonder who has bothered to come find the freak.
"Red." A deep voice surprises me. Saskue? I look up, shocked at those dark eyes framed by dark hair. "You're a lot like me." He smiles cynically, "We know what it means to suffer; to fight to survive; to burn to make others pay for what they've done; to crave more power." His smile disappears. "I understand you. I may even have a certain kind of respect for you. When we find these monsters, I do want to fight them. It's very obviously to me that they have power. However, you will have first pick. You tell me who you want to take down, and I will step aside no matter what." He stands, shoving his hands in his pockets. He nods respectfully before bounding off.
I'm dumbfounded. To have gained even a miniscule amount of respect from Saskue must be a huge honor. I ponder more on him. He must think himself an avenger of some sort. I secretly wish him well on his journey. Maybe someday if I ask nicely he will tell me his story. I smile. Yeah right.
Shickamaru is the next to find me. "The other two are worried sick." He says as way of greeting. He shrugs, "Oh well, let them worry and argue some more. Maybe it'll drive Saskue nuts. Serves him right I say."
"He didn't tell you where I am?"
"No, he said to leave you alone until you were ready to come back. I needed to get away from those bickering children. Somehow, I ended up here." He glances down at me from the side of his eye. "Not that I came looking for you or anything." He smiles.
I laugh, "No, of course not."
He sits down. "Maybe one of them will kill the other before you get back. Then you won't have to choose between them."
I sigh. "I don't think these much of a choice. Have you ever just…felt a certain way about someone? There is no choice, not really. You can't fight it, you can't deny it."
He blushes furiously, "Of course not! How silly. How foolish. How tiresome. HOW TROUBLESOME!"
Wow, I raise my eyebrows. He's got it bad for someone. I scour my brain for a hint, thinking back over all the things Naruto told me. "Oh that's right! I remember now! Uhm…fan girl. Temari right?"
He jumps to his feet, still blushing. "Come back soon before they really do kill each other, okay?"
"Shickamaru…thank you." I grab onto his hand and squeeze it.
He looks down and smiles before walking away.
After a few more minutes of peaceful brook song, Kiba comes after me. I can tell it's him from all the snarling and swearing.
"Red! God damn it. Red come out! For the love of fuck…" He punctuates the demands with a snarl. "Red I know you're here! I can smell ya girl." Another snarl mixed with a growl.
Soon he's crouched beside me. Staring at my cheek. I keep my head facing straight, trying to maintain a serious face. He leans in closer, sniffing. My lips twitch a little. He grins and licks up my cheek.
I giggle and push him back on his heels. "Ewww…grosss!"
He smirks. "What? Don't you like it?" He teases.
I smile at him. "Not really, no."
He gets serious. "You look tired, come back to camp. You need to rest. We have to move double time tomorrow to find the girl. I'm going to destroy those guys! Rip em to shreds." He growls deep in his throat. "They won't hurt you again, Red. I won't let them."
"I'll come back soon. Just let me have a few more moments. Go on a head, I'll catch up to you."
"Not too long, I'll be waiting for you."
I listen to his footsteps as he leaves. He must have been right about me being tired because soon I drift off the sleep listening to the brook.
The eyes are back. They're huge and even paler than before. I try to race away but it's futile. They easily keep up, watching my every move. They seem to mock me. I run harder, I can see something a head in the darkness…it's Naruto! He looks up at the eyes and scowls…and they leave. He's going to save me! I fall into his arms, and they wrap around me. But then they begin to tighten unpleasantly and grow cold around me. I look up at his face, and watch in helpless horror as the blue leeches out of his eyes and become replaced by a sickening pale color. His voice is a familiar hiss. "I've got you now, little Akako." My world fills with screaming.
I awake screaming and trashing. I'm being held down? "No!" I scream. I screech again, "No!" I haul in another breath and let go of a wordless shriek. I pull another ripping breath down my throat and with the last of my strength call out, "Naruto! Save me!"
I open my eyes and look up. Naruto is holding me. "Red it's me!" He cries. I'm gasping, tears running down my cheeks while he is holding me and rocking me in his arms. "Shh Red. Don't worry, I'm here okay? Don't be scared, I'm here. I'll save you." I look up at eyes warily. They seem blue enough.
"Don't trick me," I beg. "Please be real." I reach a shaking hand up, cupping his cheek. His skin is warm, the eyes stay blue. "I was so scared." I sob. "Please, don't let him get me!"
"He won't touch you. I'll kill him first. I'll kill them all." He vows to me.
The words are such a comfort to me because his eyes have stayed blue and his voice is his own. I'm overcome with emotions and they confuse me and make me dizzy. I pull his eyes closer to mine, and cover his lips with my own.