Warning: This chapter contains mentions of family, pregnancy, food, medication, transphobia, dysphoria, emotional abuse, panic and anxiety.
MAN this chapter killed me im dead rn
Sorry I haven't been updating a lot but summer vacation means relaxing a bit
If you remember correctly, Annabeth is a trans girl in this fic, and i wanted to represent some of the difficulties of being trans so this chapter happened
Also bury me in platonic percy/annabeth forever
And honestly this chapter can be very triggering read at your own risk please
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She hadn't exactly planned this.
Any of this, to be honest. She never expected Reyna to become more than an acquaintance who she occasionally messaged in order to work a project out. And yet, there she was, considering tell the girl what was probably her biggest secret.
No, not secret. Her biggest let's-not-tell-anyone-that-this-happened-ever-mostly-because-I-can't-think-about-it-without-almost-having-a-panic-attack was more fitting.
She had been thinking about it for a while now, but could never bring herself to actually do it. The last time she had brought all of that up was during a session with the school's therapist, and that hadn't worked out so well. Probably because the woman had never dealt with anything other than anxiety attacks caused by school stress, and then in came Annabeth on the edge of a panic attack because she was triggered by some movie she had been watching with her class she didn't even remember the name of. After that meeting, the therapist had kept a close eye on her, but ever since that she had managed to keep everything under control.
It was almost funny how she was making a serious decision while Percy was sprawled out on the bed snoring. It was barely seven and they hadn't even had dinner yet, but he was going to have a swim meet in a couple of weeks, and his practise schedule had been changed so he'd be able to work more than usual. Besides, he had had a biology test that morning, and Annabeth knew those were sure to drain his energy out. Still, they had studied for that test for a good six hours, and she was certain her best friend was going to have a decent grade at the least. She couldn't help but feel proud.
With a sigh, she turned to her computer screen. It was already past midnight where Reyna was, but the girl had a nasty habit of staying up late, especially on fridays, when she didn't need to wake up early the next day. The two of them had already been talking earlier that day, when they were discussing their favourite movies with each other, so Annabeth figured it would be easier to talk to her. Still, it took her more time than usual to type.
Annabeth Chase
are you still there?
For a few minutes there was no reply, which lead her to believe that her friend had already fallen asleep and therefore today was not the day she was going to tell her. She felt a mix of relief and sorrow at the thought, but before she could explore that, Reyna messaged her back.
Reyna Arellano
I can't sleep for a change
What's up?
Annabeth Chase
not much, im just hanging out with percy
who is passed out right next to me
Reyna Arellano
Can you ask him to teach me how to do that?
I mean the other day I was up until 2 it wasn't even funny
Annabeth Chase
jesus reyna shouldn't you take pills or smth for that
Reyna Arellano
I'm considering starting to take them, but maybe I'll wait to see if this gets better during Summer vacation
Annabeth Chase
take care of yourself and sleep
Reyna Arellano
But I'm not sleepy
Annabeth Chase
how dare you
This wasn't what she meant to do, of course, but at least she felt a bit calmer. She was talking to Reyna, it was just the two of them. Nothing was going to happen. At least she hoped nothing would happen.
Annabeth Chase
listen
i want to tell you something that's kinda serious
are you okay with that?
Reyna Arellano
I think so
What do you mean?
Annabeth Chase
like
id appreciate it if you didnt tell anyone about this
not even piper
its pretty personal okay
Reyna Arellano
I won't
Annabeth you're scaring me is everything okay
Annabeth Chase
no its just that this is a pretty big part of my life and i never told you about it
and i trust you so i want to tell you
but im still really bitter abt it so
Reyna Arellano
Take your time
I'm right here but if you don't want to tell me that's okay
Annabeth Chase
thank you
Well, there was no turning back once she sent her next message, but she couldn't just drop the subject. She held her breath before pressing the send button.
Annabeth Chase
i never told you why it is that i'm living with percy
you never asked either
Reyna Arellano
I figured you'd tell me if you wanted to
Annabeth Chase
some kids in my school used to think it was bc he got me pregnant and i got kicked out or something
that obviously isnt the case
Reyna Arellano
They thought what
Annabeth Chase
thalia threatened to beat them up if they didnt keep their thoughts to themselves dont worry
but percy and i are only friends
we've been friends for a long time you know
Reyna Arellano
You told me about that
Annabeth Chase
i met him when i was about 11 and still living with my parents
we all lived around here and i met percy in a summer camp we both went to
my mother wasnt around when i was little
my dad got married to another woman and i had two half brothers
She hadn't seen them in ages. Matthew and Bobby had been little kids the last time she'd seen them in person, but in the last Christmas card her father had sent her they were taller, and she spotted a few red highlights in Bobby's hair that matched his mother's, but unlike his mother he just looked silly with the hair colour. She half wished she could meet them again, but besides doubting her dad and stepmother would ever allow that, she wasn't sure the kids themselves would be happy to see her.
Annabeth Chase
the thing is i was dmab
you know what that means, right
Reyna Arellano
Yeah I do
Annabeth Chase
so yeah that was happening
i mean when i was younger i thought i was a boy
but i never really felt like myself but i didnt know why you know
until i went to camp
She was doing better than she thought she would do; She wasn't crying yet, which was surprising. She was breathing quickly, but that was no surprise, and if she knew herself well enough, it wasn't going to stop anytime soon.
Annabeth Chase
in camp i met percy and we became friends and did normal camp stuff you know
and one of the older campers was this girl silena
she was really pretty and everyone loved her bc she was super nice and everything
and this one night a bunch of us were hanging out with her next to the campfire and she ended up giving us a talk abt gender and such
she said her parents thought she was a boy during most of her life but she was really a girl
so she was trans and i never knew what that was and it was like i finally found what i wanted
Annabeth still remembered that night like it had been yesterday. Percy had been there too, but he remembered those two trickster brothers better. Silena was still doing great, she was working part time in a salon while going to uni, and the Beckendorf kid that had been crushing on her during all their time at camp had finally made his move a few years ago. Now they were engaged, and Silena had made them promise they'd be at the wedding.
That summer camp was one of the only good things that she had had in her childhood.
Annabeth Chase
at the time i was going to some therapist bc my parents wanted me to get rid of my spider phobia
and during one of the sessions i told her i wanted to be a girl
and of course the therapist ran to tell my parents
Reyna Arellano
Are you serious
Annabeth Chase
yeah
of course they told me i couldn't be a girl for a bunch of reasons and they stopped taking me to therapy and that was a pretty low point
That was an understatement, of course. She couldn't count the number of times her father had given her the "biological" talk. They had made sure she knew she was Aaron Chase, and stripped her from any sort of ideas she had to change anything about herself. The fight they had over her hair length still haunted her so much that she refused to cut her now long locks.
Annabeth Chase
but percys mum sally was worried abt me and i eventually told her and percy what happened
and sally had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and she and percy werent in the best situation but she made sure i got the help i needed and hooked me up with the therapist that worked at percys school
which was much better than the one i had before
meanwhile my dad got a job offer in san francisco and wanted us to move there but i didnt want to leave sally and percy behind
so they offered me a place to stay at their house
it took some convincing but eventually my parents gave up and allowed it
it worked out for both of us
i got what i wanted and they didn't have to put up with me
The first few weeks at Percy's had been awkward, as she tried to stay out of the way was much as she could. Her father sent Sally enough money for her to support one more child, but still Annabeth couldn't help but feel like a burden. Eventually, they managed to work something out. Sally was able to calm Annabeth down whenever she had a panic attack, Percy was in charge of killing and getting rid of every spider he saw, and Annabeth herself helped around the house in any way she could and helped Percy study. Since they both had dyslexia, it was challenging for both of them, but her best friend got frustrated easily. All her work was worth it, though, when he managed to get his first B on a paper about greek mythology.
Annabeth Chase
it wasnt that bad i mean my parents sent me letters almost every month and they never touched the trans subject
but then about two years ago my dysphoria got real bad and i wanted to get breast implants i decided to use my university money my parents had been saving
i wouldnt have done it if it hadnt gotten to such a bad point
but ever since that the letters stopped except for the occasional holiday greeting card
The tears finally started rolling down her cheeks. It wasn't that she was sad, in fact she was happy for being where she was now, but it was all too emotional for her not to get like this. On top of that, she didn't know how Reyna would react. Maybe telling her had been a mistake, but it was too tempting. Her best friend was trans, after all, what could go wrong?
Absolutely everything, Annabeth thought, trying to keep herself from sobbing.
Reyna Arellano
I am so sorry I had no idea
Look I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me all this and I am so sorry
I promise I won't tell anyone okay
Annabeth Chase
thanks
Reyna Arellano
You're really strong for putting up with all that stuff you know
And that just about did it. Suddenly, she was a sobbing mess, and it didn't take long before Percy woke up with the sound. She would have apologized if she could manage to get the words out of her mouth, but she was choking.
"Hey, wow." He looked funny, with his hair pointing in ten different directions at the same time, and a dazed look that could only men that he had been sleeping until not very long ago. "What's the matter?"
She didn't hesitate on giving him a big hug, which he quickly responded to. "It's- I-Reyna" She tried to explain, tripping over her own words.
"What did Reyna do?"
"N-nothing." She took a long breath. "I just- I told her everything."
"What do you mean you-oh." He realized. "Man, you guys are better friends than I thought."
She chuckled at that. After a few minutes in silence she wasn't crying anymore, and only then did they break their hug.
"You okay?" She nodded at Percy's question. "I'm going to get you some tea. I'll be right back."
She smiled. She was glad she had friends to take care of her, and she and Percy had been so close for so long that she almost never felt like she was getting in the way of anything. That was a good thing.
She turned back to her computer.
Annabeth Chase
sorry abt that i had a bit of a panic attack
Reyna Arellano
Are you okay?
Annabeth Chase
yeah percys getting me tea im fine
and thanks for listening to me reyna
it means a lot to me
Reyna Arellano
It's the least I can do
If you ever need to talk I'm here you know
Annabeth Chase
i know
thank you
go to sleep you need to rest
Reyna Arellano
Fine fine
Bye Annabeth
Annabeth Chase
goodnight
She moved her laptop to her bedside table and sat up straighter, wiping the tears off her cheeks. She was thankful for Reyna reacting the way she did. It felt nice, knowing she had another friend she could trust like that.
She never planned for any of that to happen. But Percy was right. She and reyna were, in the end, better friends than she thought.