Let Bygones Be
Marian woke in the early morning dawn - her back pressed tightly to Guy's bare chest. Her heart fluttered as the recollections of last night flitted back into her mind. Though Marian wasn't completely naive when it came to the married state, she realized that she was less prepared and knowledgeable than what she cared to admit. Certain details left out when she caught snatches of kitchen talk would have been a blessing to know…
Her brow furrowed; Guy hadn't said anything about the fact she was still a maid - she knew that he couldn't have not known. Granted his eyes had grown wide and clouded over with deep emotion, but he had never confronted her. Afterwards, he had pulled her to him and she had remained there ever since. She was acutely aware that she was stiff from the eternalness of his embrace and her body was sore from her husband's attentions - gentle though they were. Biting her lip Marian tried to, again, rationalize her yielding to him. She was bound to him, Guy was her husband and he cared for her, she could turn him into a man that she would like to have about - even grow to care for him. But her heart still gnawed at her in resentment; angry that she should be so fickle and easily swayed from one moment to the next. She knew that this was the most permanent thing that she had ever done… There was no turning back anymore.
Marian knew he had noticed her maidenhood… What did it matter anymore if he had or not? She had already given herself to him - more willingly than she would care to admit. She would never be able to keep him at bay now…
Feeling the need to look at him, Marian craned her head as easily as she could, trying not to disturb him if he still drowsed. When she could see him, she was startled to meet Guy's staring blue eyes.
Guy pulled her closer to him, cuddling her against him. He rested his chin on her shoulder, breathing in the curls that draped about her head. He kissed her upper arm, deliberately as she watched him. He stroked her cheek, staring into her questioning and concerned expression. Guy spoke, his voice was soft but a hurt rasp tinted the words, "Marian, why did you lie to me - again."
She turned away not knowing if she was more ashamed of being a maid or that he found out the falsehood she let him believe. He knew. Guy was not so easily deterred and he felt himself grow angrier with every spoken word, "Why wouldn't you tell me something like this? For God's sake! He hadn't violated you and yet you let me suffer thinking that he had!"
Guy released her and sat up, running a hand down his enraged face, trying in vain to smooth the angry lines creasing his brow, "Were you trying to play me the fool? Let me feel guilty every time I saw you?"
Marian drew to the other side of the bed, jerking the sheet along with her. Guy growled and stood up, busily yanking on his leather breeches, his face was worse than any devil's. He turned back to the bed when he heard Marian say something. His eyes narrowed, "What did you say?"
"I said it would serve you right to be guilt-ridden! You let him take me! It's your fault!"
He laughed mirthlessly, "Of course. Everything's my fault. It's always my fault isn't it, Marian? My parents die and it's my fault. All of Nottingham is starving and that's my fault too. Hood outwits the Sheriff and that's my fault. The Sheriff bloody well sells you to that ordure, Winchester - and it's all my fault!"
Guy stalked to the bed, placing both hands on the side where Marian lay curled - trying to hide from his wrath, "All my fault, Marian?" His voice had barely been above a whispers. She gulped and shuddered as he gently stroked her cheek. "Do you not remember that I am the one who came for you? That I tried to help you? I married you without a second thought to save your honor! Don't you remember? Or did you forget that along with the fact you are - were - still a virgin?"
Marian blushed hotly at his unchecked words and looked down to the floor, his bare feet, her discarded dress - anywhere but his face. She did not know what to tell him - that fact was for certain. At the time, she hadn't known that Guy would realize the secret she was concealing; there was nothing to tell him now - except more lies… "You wouldn't have believed me had I told you." Marian consoled her suddenly pricking conscience that it wasn't a complete lie - he wouldn't have believed her.
Guy grimaced and let loose a long and loud sigh, "Marian. Marian, do you find me so wicked that I wouldn't listen to you?" Her silence was encompassing and all the answer he needed. Guy clenched his fists, his nails digging into the flesh of his palms, etching away at the skin and drawing tiny sparks of red. Thunderously, Guy moved from the bed and grabbed his undershirt and jacket, wrenching them on without any heed to his battered shoulder. He didn't even wince.
Pulling on his boots and strapping on his scabbard, Guy swung open the door and started to quit the room. Marian sat up further, "Where are you going?" In truth, her silence had not been to confirm his accusations about her opinion but to find a rational way to rebut them. However, Marian could not deny that she was glad he was leaving - her head was swimming.
Turning swiftly back around, Guy said, spit snapping out from his mouth as he gritted his teeth, "I'm going to get your father out of the bloody dungeon. Or are you going to accuse me, now - since I'm the devil on earth - of raping some toothless old hag at the market?"
That was uncalled for!"Guy!" Marian yelled, clambering out of bed and snatching the sheet closer about her. She ran out the door behind him, careful to keep the bed linens out from under her feet. Taking the steps two at a time, Marian managed to catch up with him before he left the manor. She grabbed onto his arm, "Guy! I never said that!"
He tried to pull his arm away but Marian gripped the ridges of his sleeve tightly. "Listen to me."
Guy turned toward her; his expression was grave, "What?" He tried to cross his arms, to protect his heart, show defiance, keep the world at bay - but found that he couldn't with her clinging to his leather.
Marian noticed his predicament as well and would have laughed if it were not for the topic at hand. "I didn't mean what I said, Guy. I don't think everything bad that happens is because of you. I had no right to condemn you; you came to my aid after all. And, I do not think you are the devil - I think-"
Guy quirked his eyebrows together, waiting impatiently for her to continue. Marian held her pause for a moment longer. Taking a deep breath, she tried to go on, "I think that - I don't know what I think. I am sorry." She hated to admit that, but her words were leaving her lips before she could stop them. Marian watched as Guy turned his overwhelmingly gloomy head back to the doorway. She had to say something else! "I do not wish to fight with you, Guy. Let us at least part friends." There was that hollow laugh once more, telling Marian that she had stumbled yet again. She hated this feeling, like walking on scattered shells; no matter what step you took, you were bound to crack one.
"Friends?" Guy asked. "I do not wish to be your 'friend,' Marian. I wish to be your husband - your lover. I am sick of you crying 'friendship' when that was never an option." He turned back to her and gripped her bare shoulders, "I want to do more than talk to you at supper or kiss you goodnight, I want to care for you! Can't you see that? Didn't last night prove it?"
Marian felt her color rise at the mention of the previous night and all the connotations that clung to it. She knew that Guy meant well, he almost always meant well but that didn't change the fact that Marian was still unsure if she was happy with or only tolerant of his advances. Last night - well, last night Marian had been more than happy to accept his pursuit, even to return it kiss for kiss and caress for caress. Nevertheless, this sudden argument and the time to stew over her hasty amorous actions had clouded her judgment yet again. How exactly did she feel about Guy? She knew that he deserved a reply and nodded her head, almost unperceivable.
It was while she was still flushed, that Marian found Guy smirking. It was a rather smug look and it infuriated her to a breaking point. Guy could tell, and his grin increased, "Well then, we ought to get you back to the bedchambers, hadn't we? We wouldn't want the servants to talk about your attire. They'll think I refuse to provide you clothing."
Servants! She had forgotten about Guy's servants! Abruptly recollecting what she was wrapped in, Marian would have bolted up the stairs if it were not for Guy's hands holding her shoulders and his lips suddenly fixed to hers. When he pulled away, he ungallantly gestured for her to scurry back up to the master bedroom - instead of escorting her there himself. "When I come back," Guy said. "I don't wish to argue on this matter. Understood?"
Clutching the sheet tighter to her form and letting her glare speak volumes, Marian quickly ascended the stairs and secured the door behind her - leaving Guy's question unanswered in her wake. Guy's self-satisfied smirk would not be deterred though and he left Locksley in a slightly better mood than when he had first set out. One day, one day she would accept him wholeheartedly and without question; he only had to live till then…
Last night had been the most glorious of his life. Not only had he been allowed to fulfill his forbidden dreams but Marian had not been desecrated by the lecherous Winchester. He had a reason for not confronting Marian that night, when he had discovered the fact; he wanted to keep the eve perfect. Why spoil the memory of him consummating his wedding to the girl he loved with a fight? The discovery of her maidenhood and thrilled him to no end and he only planned to relish the fact that he was her first. Guy knew the fight would, and had come, later - there was no need to rush it.
"Allan!"
Jerking spontaneously in his half-awake state, Allan sat up, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head to clear it. "Wha' is it?" he managed to croak, his voice refusing to cooperate as he woke. Allan fought back a glare when Sir Guy's figure shadowed the doorway. "Yeah?" Allan said, hearing Guy sniff disdainfully.
"Have the groom saddle the horses - we're going to Nottingham," Guy said, encroaching on the straw spotting the floor. He heard Allan sigh and softly mumble something under his breath and decided he should say something else, "When we return, I'll have a room prepared for you." Gisborne fingered a bridle that hung on the wall and, though it was dim where he was, he saw Allan's eyes widen in happy surprise. "It will be in the servants' quarters," he added hastily, not wanting him to get any delusions of grandeur.
Allan slid off the pile of hay he had been slumbering on and clapped Guy on the shoulder, "Thanks mate."
Guy shrugged his arm away from the embrace. "Just be ready to go in a few moments," he said, turning and walking out of the barn.
Allan shook his head again, how could one man be so cold and yet be willing to provide him a roof over his head? He couldn't figure it and, though he was still perturbed at being pushed into the pond, Allan found the groom and told him to saddle two horses for Sir Guy and himself. They were going to Nottingham - to see the man who had nearly had him put to death…
As Allan and Guy rode, side by side, Allan felt a measure of pride - he was strutting through Nottingham town, without a hood over his head, in broad daylight. He started nodding to any peasant who caught his eye; condescending to recognize them, for he was now a man of importance. He didn't think that his shoulders could get any straighter or his head any higher.
But, as they always say, 'Pride goeth before a fall.' As Allan looked around him, he saw huddled whisperers, little ones tugging on their mother's clothes and pointing at him, averted glances filled with shame and hateful yet pitying looks. He also heard one word, spoken in hush but, to him, was louder than if it had been screamed from atop the battlements. One word that made the hair on the back of his neck ripple and stand straight. One word, "Traitor."
There was no doubt in Allan A Dale's mind as to whom they were speaking of. Straight shoulders sagged. High head fell against his breast. His heart sank and his disposition shattered. Did the world hold out nothing for him? Was he to be denied every comfort and shred of respectability that was out there? Respectability… Well, obviously he wasn't respectable now - employed by the Sheriff's master-at-arms. Allan managed to crack a grin at how ludicrous all of it was. Was it so paradoxical that he should be 'respectable' as an outlaw? He supposed that it was.
Allan knew that his life with Robin and the gang was deeply buried in the past; the days of eternity has swept away his former life and left him with a shell. Scrapless, hopeless, and friendless - Allan realized how alone he truly was, and wished that it were possible to turn back the hourglass and fix what went awry before. That was impossible and he knew that the only option was to forget the past, leave it behind him, and plough through his future - maybe, just maybe, he could make something of his life and regain his fallen reputation…
Allan followed Guy's suit and dismounted his horse, preparing to trail after him into the castle, when Guy said, "Stay here."
"Wi' the horses? Common Giz, ya must be pullen' my le-"
Guy interrupted before Allan could get the last word out, "Do you want another incident with the Sheriff? Or do you not recall the situation that you were placed in when you found him in foul spirits?"
Allan placed his hands in front of him, "Easy. Easy, I'll stay." He watched as Guy turned and stalked off and then huffed in his own annoyance. Well, this would give him a good opportunity to barter with his newly 'acquired' chain… With that, Allan A Dale set off in the direction of the market.
Robin had yet to wake from Djaq's medicinal drink the day before and Much was worried. He had just gotten Robin to rise from his unconscious state and the next thing he knew, Robin was slumbering again. Hesitantly he approached Robin's cot, Much's hand was outstretched and he lightly touched the blanket covering his shoulder. "Master? Master Robin? You have to wake up."
There was no response and Much felt a sickening dread wash over him. "Master?" he said and shook the blanket again but something didn't feel right this time. Tentatively Much drew back the blanket in order to reveal a bundle of wadded up coverlets. "Robin's gone! Come quick!" Much didn't wait until the others arrived; instead, he grabbed up his shield from his bunk and started to town - knowing that Robin would most likely pass at least the surrounding area on his quest for Marian.
It didn't take long for John, Djaq, and Will to run over, take in the situation, and follow Much. Robin had escaped… Unsure of where he might have gone, the gang went in the direction of Nottingham; praying that someone might have seen him ride out.
In truth, Robin had gone to town but, along with his plan to save Marian, he had revenge in his heart. Before he went after Marian, he was going to make Gisborne pay. Though this might sound illogical to some, to Robin it made perfect sense. He was going to make Guy suffer; how could that monster claim that he loved Marian and let her be taken by Winchester? Why didn't he save her? As much as Robin hated to admit it, he would rather see Gisborne rescue Marian and continue his wooing of her, than have her in Winchester's illicit possession.
However, Robin was not able to find Sir Guy before his men found him. "Robin!" Much scolded, grabbing his shoulders and holding him still. "What are you doing? You could have been killed. Or is that your intention! Kill yourself and let me die of grief!"
Startled by his comrade's uncharacteristic outburst, Robin stared dumbfounded and, if it were not for his thoughts fixated on confronting Gisborne and Marian's unsavory predicament, would have smiled. "I'm going after him," Robin said, pulling away from Much's hard grasp.
"'Him?' Winchester you mean?"
Robin shook his head, "No, Gisborne. Then Winchester."
Much looked puzzled, "What for?"
"He is going to suffer - just as Marian has been suffering."
Much felt his own eyes grow large - even though he knew Robin hadn't meant it quite like that. He could almost hear Allan say something sarcastic if he were here. However, he wasn't and he doubted that any of them would see their former brother-in-arms again in the world of the living. "Master, why does Gisborne have to suffer? What has he done?"
"He didn't save her. If he cared he would have," said Robin, shuffling away from the thick staff that was clutched tightly in John's fist - a fist that was steadily growing white with rage.
Little John lifted his rod up off the ground where the end had been resting, "We need to go to Sherwood… Now. It's not safe here."
Djaq stayed his hand, "Robin can walk. Come Robin, let us go."
His voice was angry as he spoke, and Robin's eyes narrowed, "No. I have to save Marian. Now, you're either with me, or against me. Pick."
Djaq watched as John gripped his staff tighter - if that were possible. She held up a hand again, preventing him from carrying out his intent, Robin didn't need another head wound and that would only add to his bitterness and determination. Robin was right, they needed to go after Marian but confronting Gisborne was an unnecessary task. Djaq was about to reassure this angry and impulsive love struck man that they were undoubtedly on his side and only needed a plan, but suddenly Will said on a surprised call, "Look over there!"
Four heads swiveled to see what their friend did and, startling everyone, there was Allan - strolling through town without a lick of fear shrouding his countenance. Sooner than Djaq had time to react, Robin had bolted from their little cluster and headed in the direction of Allan. She grasp at the air, trying in vain to reach him. "Robin!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice to a dull plea; he ignored her and, unceremoniously, they were forced to go after him.
Allan had no warning before he found himself pinned to a building and a forearm shoved against his neck, preventing breath. This seemed to be happening to him a lot these days… He was staring into a set of bright unforgiving eyes - Robin's eyes.
The last time he had looked into that face was when they were fighting to the death; obviously neither of them won that particular skirmish. Allan felt his teeth clench and his lips tug back into a sneer, revealing tightly clenched teeth. This was the man who wouldn't listen to him or give him a second chance. This man was the reason that the people suddenly looked down upon him instead of admiring him - as they used to. Allan didn't want to consider that while he was trying to become more than one of Robin Hood's men, while he was trying to make a name for himself, he had indeed only blackened it.
It was when the trapped man saw his former friends stand behind Robin, did his face fall. He turned his head away; he didn't even want to look at them - why should they see his shame? Alas, if they saw his disgrace they might pity him and Allan A Dale did not want to be pitied. He could stand on his own two feet, make his bed and lie in it, pretend that all was right with the world when really it was cracked and bleeding. He turned back and glared, "Wha' do you want?"
He watched Djaq frown, had she been happy to see him alive? If she had, he thought, she wasn't anymore… Robin pressed his arm further into Allan's throat, issuing a cough from the latter. Robin's words were tinted with vengeance, "What are you doing here?"
"I live here now, working for Guy," Allan said, very matter-of-factly - trying to get some of his renowned cockiness to shine through. It wasn't working quite as well as he had anticipated…
"Gisborne? Where is he?" Robin said loosening his grip as he remembered what he had come to Nottingham to do. Despite what he tried to tell himself, he didn't want to see Allan die and he wanted less to be the one to end his existence.
"Why do you care?"
"Because, I'm going to make his life a nightmare. He let Winchester take Marian. He should have saved her if he was wooing her!" Robin let the words snap sardonically off his tongue - for if Guy had saved her, Marian would not be in the horrible position she was now… Gisborne's heart was truly as black as the rest of him and Robin was not going to let him get away with taking up his love's name in vain. "He professes to love her and then lets her be fed to the dogs!"
Allan couldn't help the dry chuckle that escaped him, "Robin, Giz did go after her. She's back at Locksley for God's sake. Married."
"Married? To whom?" Though Robin would never be considered dull witted, far from it in fact, his mind couldn't wrap around the fact that his Marian could have married Guy of Gisborne… Surly there must be some mistake…
"Guy, of course!"
Robin's arm dropped from where it pinned Allan. His eyes clouded and he felt his heart quit beating. How? "Dear God, she's in hell." How was he to save her now? She was married Guy of Gisborne and it would be morally wrong to take her. Surely though, God would forgive him taking another man's wife if that man was an undeserving brute, incapable of affection only competent of cruelty. There was nothing moral about him…
Stepping out of range of Robin's hands, Allan felt the need to defend Guy, "Oi, he saved her reputation."
Robin clenched his fists, "Saved it? He just finished it off! She's married to him, what kind of reputation is that?"
Robin had attacked him physically and now Allan wanted to get his own retribution; Will, Djaq, and John were there and he didn't want to knock Robin senseless - though he wasn't so sure that would be the outcome - in front of them. No, his stabs would have to be with words. "Well it's far better than what you did. You were letting her be some other man's whore." He regretted his expressions before they were halfway out of his mouth. Why had he done that?
Allan had to jump backwards to escape his former leader's sudden assault. He gave a half-hearted smile when Will stepped in front of Robin's onslaught - maybe the others still cared about him. This little flame of hope was promptly smothered when Will spoke looking directly at him, "Let him alone, Robin. You're better than he is."
Though Robin's eyes were filled with wounded pride and hate, he slowly turned away from Allan - who felt even more of his own humanity fall away. He had to save some of his soul...
"Oi, Giz is at the castle," Allan said quickly, startling even himself. "Marian's at Locksley - alone." Was this some twisted attempt at redemption? Betray one man for another? He had betrayed Robin to Guy - wasn't it only just that he betray Guy to Robin?
While Robin continued to walk away from him, apparently disregarding his words, Allan felt his chest give a small swell when Djaq turned and looked back at him. However, he then felt his whole body constrict when he realized that Guy would kill him if he found out… Suddenly thoughtful, Allan recalled a saying that he had heard somewhere about not being able to serve two masters - he couldn't help but wonder if this counted?
Marian shut the bedchamber door behind her and made her way down the stairs. What Guy had said earlier was bothering her and made her concentrate on other things than the previous night - a blessing in disguise. Did he think that his parents' accidental deaths were his fault? How could that be? Surely he didn't go through his life feeling responsible for something that he couldn't have prevented… A fire killed them as well as Robin's father, if she recalled her Father's words - though why Lord Malcolm was there would always be a mystery to her. Guy had been no more than five and ten - unable to stop the calamity.
Yet he had still said the words and that disturbed Marian. Had Guy suffered - believing that he killed his parents? Certainly that would drive anyone to the point of madness! Thankfully she realized that Guy was not to that summit but she shuddered to think if her father died because of her; it was bad enough when the Sheriff banished him to the dungeon on her account. Taking a deep reassuring breath Marian knew the truth of the matter was something she would have to pry out from Guy - that would be a large task on its own.
With these thoughts in mind, Marian had just reached the bottom step when she heard a creak come from the floor upstairs. Curious, she went back up and looked in the hall - nothing. Quietly, Marian opened the door to Guy's room - their room, she corrected herself. Her breath caught in her chest and she stared - unsure whether to be furious or overjoyed. For, standing next to the window, eyes glistening with passion, was Robin. "Marian," he said, choking on the words. "I'm here to rescue you."
A/N I am sorry for the long wait! I have been busy and we had two friends die do to various causes. It has been very hectic and sad around here.
So I hope that everyone was in character.
Robin and Allan… I know that Robin usually keeps himself under control but he does profusely threaten Allan in a later episode. Robin does have a halfhearted excuse, to go after Guy - his head is still slightly muddled… He might not be thinking as clearly as he would without the 'largish' knot on his skull. Oh, and Will is just still hurt by his friend's actions - he doesn't really hate Allan.
I also hope that the fight between Guy and Marian was believable and that they were in character…
Next chapter has Robin and Marian's conversation…
I would like to give a big thank you to the anonymous reviewers out there! ;)
Thanks to LadyKate for help with the French. :D
Ordure - piece of filth
Also, I hate to say it, but there might only be one update for September… I am going on vacation with my parents and then going to stay two weeks with my aunt and uncle. I will get the next chapter written but I don't know when it will be posted. Sorry about that - but rest assured that I am not quitting on the story - just unable to get to the internet…
Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood BBC and the BBC - not me - owns any conversations or characters that you recognize.