This update brought to you by caffeine, because sleep is for the weak.
Disclaimer: I don't own Don't Starve or any of the characters.
"That's… Different…" Willow thought out loud, her eyes going back and forth between the gathering of hominid-like pig creatures and the log houses they had constructed. The very flammable log houses. Wilson caught her arm to prevent her from doing anything too hasty.
"Hold on a moment." He pleaded. "I think this might be one of the rare cases in which burning things won't help." At the scandalized look he continued. "They're smart enough to build homes right? Maybe that means we can reason with them. I'd prefer to avoid turning this place into a massive pyre if at all possible."
The only thing worse than dealing with enraged pig-men, was dealing with enraged pig-men who were on fire.
With only a couple of grumbles, she nodded. It was more likely that she was worried about what they would do to Wolfgang if she went full psycho, but he appreciated the cooperation none the less.
Wendy silently beckoned for Abigail to stay close to the group. The ghost hovered near her living sibling, sending a chilling glare at any pig-villager that stared for too long.
The air was tense, but Wilson put on a brave face and stepped forwards. Keeping his eyes straight ahead, he made his way over to the largest of the pigs. A king of sorts if the crown on his head was to be believed. It was a gargantuan specimen that must have weight a literal ton as opposed to the ever so overused metaphorical version.
He spared a worried glance over at the strongman's form. Wolfgang hung limp from his position on the obelisk, but his chest still rose and fell in a regular pattern. He was alive. Right now, that was the important thing. Now all Wilson had to do was get him out of here.
"Hello there!" The scientist greeted in as friendly a manner as was possible when one was looking over a crowed of possibly homicidal beast-men. "I see that you've met one of my friends there. Listen, I think we've had a bit of a misunderstanding. You see, we're not all that used to coming across others who are quite as… unique as yourselves and a couple of us may have jumped the gun a bit. Why don't we start over? My name is Wilson P. Higgsbury. Who might you be?"
The pig-king eyed him with a casual laziness that only came from those blessed with infinite power and total ignorance. Other than a few snorts, he gave no indication that he understood, or even heard, the gentleman's introduction.
"Um… hello?" Wilson ventured, still getting no reaction. "Do you get what I'm saying? Would you mind letting my friend down please?"
"Little man not bother king!" One of the larger pigs growled, stepping forward imposingly. His advance was met with an echoing threat from Abigail that made him stop, but not back down. "King have better things to do than talk with you!"
It was times like this that the scientist was glad he knew how to handle rude people. Losing his temper while surrounded could only end badly.
"My apologies." He replied with forced sincerity, not bothering to ask what 'better things' the king was actually capable of doing. He certainly didn't seem to be able to move from that spot with his considerable weight.
"I didn't mean to impose on your hospitality. I really just want to collect my companion. If you would be so kind as to let him down, we'll be on our way and I promise that we won't be bothering you again."
It was funny the way the pig's face scrunched up when he listened to Wilson speak, almost like he'd bitten into a very sour lemon.
"Man not go free." The spokespig declared, jabbing his arm… hoof… thing… forward for emphasis. "He try smash Twinkie! We make him offering to protect village."
"Twinkie? One of them is named Twinkie?" Willow exclaimed, her opinion of the creatures dropping at breakneck speed. "Can we please just get to the burning part? We all know how this will end."
"I'm inclined to agree." Wendy added. "We could use the pork rations back home. Only eating rabbit tends to get dull after a while."
"Now wait just a minute!" Wilson interjected, holding up his hands in an attempt to avert the looming catastrophe. "Why do you need an offering? I know the forest can be a bit dangerous, but nothing could threaten a community of this size surely?"
At this the pigs lost a bit of their savagery. Some looked nervously over their shoulders while the majority took a couple of timid steps backwards. The spokespig was the only one who was able to keep his nerve.
"Need offering to keep angry trees away." He explained, his eyes holding a tinge of fear behind the mask of bravado. "We smash trees, make homes. Forest get angry. Need offering to make happy again."
Wilson listened attentively, his mind already thinking how to turn this news to his advantage. It was clear that the pigs were stricken by some superstitious fear of the forest. After all, trees couldn't hurt you. Unless they fell on you of course. Then they could hurt quite a bit.
Regardless, this bad situation could be turned around with the right amount of verbal finesse.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that." He said, bowing his head slightly. "But I think you may be in luck. You see, we happen to be expert tree killers. If you let our friend go, I think we might be able to get rid of your problem for you."
The crowed began murmuring among themselves. From the expressions on their faces, they were both suspicious of his offer and hopeful of its truthfulness. Some seemed almost in awe that he had even suggested such a thing. They must have been very afraid of the trees if offering to get rid of them caused this kind of a reaction.
"You can kill bad trees?" The spokespig asked hesitantly. His posture was now significantly less threatening than it had been before. "Make so we no need offerings no more?"
"Yes Wilson, why don't you tell all of us exactly what you're getting at?" Willow suggested, narrowing her eyes. She knew that he was volunteering them for something big, and it didn't sit well with her.
"Of course we can." He assured, giving the fire starter a glance that pleaded with her to just play along. They could discuss the finer points of his actions later. "We happen to be very good at getting rid of trees. You see her? Her name is Willow, and she can conjure fire on demand. Now what tree can stand up to something like that?"
With a roll of her eyes, the young woman pulled out her lighter and flicked the switch. A startled gasp emanated from a couple dozen throats as the crowed eyed the newly born flame with mixed interest and apprehension.
The pigs started whispering amongst themselves, or at least he assumed they were. Their voices were quieter but still plenty loud enough for him to hear. It was only when the spokespig began stamping his feet down impatiently and smacking a few of them on the head that they managed to regain some semblance of order.
"Trees make life bad for us." The pink creature stated. "Ugly man try smash us too, but if you kill angry trees we let him go. You be friends then."
"I'm not sure I want to be friends with them…" Willow remarked. Thankfully it was too quiet for any of the pigs to hear.
"Tell you what." Wilson said, deciding to push his luck a bit now that he had them where he wanted them. "Once we deal with those trees of yours, we'll even get rid of them. We have a bit of a building project coming up and we could use the extra lumber. If you would be so kind as to help us move the logs, we'll make sure you don't ever have to look at those nasty things again."
He could practically see the one working gear in the spokespig's head turning slowly while he tried to decide if this was actually a good deal or not.
"That lot of work." He said. Apparently he was a bit smarter than they had given him credit for. "What in it for us? We just smash pieces if we no want see them anymore."
"Well…" The scientist began, searching his mind for some kind of source of motivation. What did giant pink tribesmen want? They had shelter. They didn't seem all that interested in clothing or jewelry. That only left…
"How about some rabbit stew?" Willow offered, deciding to follow Wilson's plan. "We've got a lot of rabbits near our camp, so there should be enough for everyone. It would run our supplies dry but we don't have much of an alternative."
"You give food?" The spokespig questioned, immediately perking up. The sudden eagerness spread like wildfire through the crowd. Soon, each one of them was looking hopefully towards the humans and pressing forwards, earning a couple warning noises from Abigail.
Of course. Food. What an obvious solution. He knew that ordinary pigs were renowned for their willingness to eat just about anything. Why would pig-men be any different?
"Absolutely." He stated with confidence. "Point us at the trees and help us get the logs back home and we'll make sure you eat as many rabbits as you can stomach."
Thankfully their experience with Wolfgang meant that they had taken to storing far more food than they needed themselves. The man ate like there was no tomorrow, and he was willing to bet that the pigs did too.
The assorted pig creatures let out a mighty cheer at those words. Their jumping and excitement roused Wolfgang from his forced slumber.
"Ugh… What… Who…" After several dazed moments, he noticed Wilson and the others.
"Friends!" He shouted. "Help! I am stolen!"
"It's all right big guy." Wilson assured, gesturing towards the pigs that were now treating him like a conquering hero. "We've got everything taken care of. Just give us a second to get you down and I'll fill you in on what's been going on."
Willow checked the edge of her ax for what felt like the hundredth time. She had to admit that this plan, despite having come entirely out of nowhere, seemed almost too good to be true. Cut down a few trees and get the pigs to carry them home? It was like having their own personal servants. Very smelly servants…
Still, no matter how good it looked she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.
"How much farther until we reach the trees?" She asked. The pig that had spoken to them earlier turned to answer, not even noticing as he plowed through assorted branches.
"Trees close now. Can feel their badness. Not far."
Despite the almost unintelligible form of his response, she was inclined to agree. These trees felt different somehow. Almost as though they were watching the tiny little meatlings that dared to trespass in their home.
She wasn't the only one who noticed either. While Wolfgang and Wilson strode on confidently, apparently oblivious to the ominous presence, Wendy was getting a bit edgy. The girl's eyes would shoot to the side at the slightest noise. Willow didn't know what she saw when she did that, but from the growing frown on her face it probably wasn't good. In response to her mood, Abigail hovered protectively near her.
"You feel it too?" The fire starter questioned softly. She nodded.
"The forest is old here." She spoke, taking on the old monotone that she had possessed during the early days after they'd found her. "It is not pleased with our intrusions. I don't think bringing these trees down will be any simple task."
Willow was inclined to agree.
"Well, at least we have one advantage." She said. Wendy gave her a questioning glance, to which she flicked open her lighter. "Trees burn."
"That they do." The child said, with a conspiratorial smile.
"Up here!" The pig announced suddenly, coming to an immediate halt. "You go in there. Kill bad trees. If you not get dead we help bring trees for houses. I go back now."
"You're not coming with us?" Willow asked. She wasn't happy about being left without someone who knew the woods. Sure Abigail could lead them out eventually, but she still had flashbacks to being lost in here again.
He vehemently shook his head.
"I no go in there!" He exclaimed. "I not stupid! You want get smash you go. I go back."
Without any further words of encouragement, he promptly turned around and began running back to the pig-village. The survivors watched him go with varying levels of interest.
"Bye bye piggy!" Wolfgang shouted, waving at his retreating form.
Wilson rolled his shoulders once, gesturing for the others to follow him.
"Come on." He said. "Let's get chopping. Those trees aren't going to dispose of themselves. And the sooner we get this job done the sooner we can go home."
They all grouped together and pushed into the area that had disturbed their guide so much. The change was immediate. Not even the two males could ignore the sheer hostility that practically oozed out of every inch of the forest now. This was not somewhere that they were welcome.
The trees held bark that was so dark it was almost obsidian in color. The branches reached out towards them with jagged edges, as though intent on tearing at whatever they could get a hold of. The pine needles more resembled tiny razors than actual leaves.
To make things even worse, the giant pines seemed to lean in on them giving the tiny humans a feeling of paranoid claustrophobia.
"I have second thoughts about plan…" Wolfgang said, losing some of his confidence. "This place seem bad."
"We can't turn back just because things look a bit… uh… sinister." Wilson offered, looking none too sure of himself. "Just remember, we are smarter than the trees. They can't hurt us if we approach this intelligently."
A small hand reached up to tug on his sleeve, causing him to jump in surprise. He suppressed a shout when he realized it was only Wendy.
"Oh, sorry about that." He said, chuckling nervously. "You scared me a bit." She didn't laugh. In fact, she looked somewhat worried.
"We need to leave."
The scientist was taken aback by her sudden desire to flee. She'd shown no signs of being distressed earlier, so he hadn't the slightest idea why she would suddenly feel the need to do so now.
"Now don't worry." He ventured, trying to calm her down. "These are just trees. We've dealt with worse right? I mean, what about those hounds? They were scarier than some cheesy pine trees weren't they? And we got rid of them without too much trouble."
She looked like she wanted to say something, but any reply she might have made was cut off when a rumbling sound filled the air. The ground beneath their feet suddenly shook violently, forcing them to the ground.
"What is that!?" Willow exclaimed. "Is it an earthquake!?"
"No…" Wendy's reply was so quiet that it was almost lost in the thundering noise, but they didn't need to hear it. Her gaze said enough. Following her eyes, they all came face to face with something that was straight out of a nightmare.
Wilson's mouth dropped open as Wolfgang let out a horrified wail. The earth wasn't shaking. It was being split open. The fractures all coalesced around the base of a single, massive pine that was twisting in the ground as though trying to wrench itself free.
In fact, that was exactly what it was trying to do.
"Get back." Nobody seemed to hear Willow's warning. They were all too struck by the image of a snarling face splitting open the bark and glaring down at them.
"GET BACK!" They heard her that time. The group barely managed to dash out of the way as a massive, woody, talon scythed through the air where they had been standing only a moment ago. Wilson, Willow, Wolfgang, Wendy, and Abigail all began running for their lives as fast as they could go.
Behind them, a titanic roar signaled that the tree monster was giving chase.