Dead, unstaring eyes. That's what Kid saw in his dreams that night. At first, he thought it was the eyes of the fellow he'd shot, but he soon realized it was him, his eyes. But the ghost of the dead man was there, waiting in the back of the church where his body was laid out, waiting on Kid to join him, as were the ghosts of all the others he'd killed. Ruth was there, alive, and dressed in black, but she wasn't weeping. She did look sorry though so terribly sorry for him. "Poor, Kid," she said quietly.
Kid jerked up with a start. He was the first one up. Another day was dawning. Every day seemed numbered lately. He went to the window and looked outside. For what he didn't know unless it was the judge maybe. He just wanted this whole mess over with, so Ruth could get on with her life and he could get on with his death.
He heard Ruth get up and get coffee going, but he didn't turn to look. She brought him over a cup. He took a drink and it was strong and black the way he liked it. He knew Ruth preferred it lighter, but as angry with him as she had to have been, she was still brewing it strong to his taste. He didn't deserve a woman like that. He never had. Maybe that's why he'd been struck with consumption because God knew it too. "I killed a man yesterday."
"I thought you might've had to shoot somebody. I'm sorry for that. I'm sure you didn't have a choice though."
"There's always a choice. Why'd you ever marry a man like me in the first place?" he asked, continuing to stare out the window. A gunfighter had no business being with a spiritual woman like her. He knew that now. His actions last night were bound to reflect on her. He hadn't meant to kill the man, but the others didn't know that and he had no intention of telling them. The fear his name created kept circumstances like that to a minimum though it didn't seem that way at times.
"Cause I love you. Cause you're a good and godly man. Even if you're infuriating too."
He snorted. "Do good and godly men shoot people? But I guess it doesn't matter why you chose to marry me, does it? Not anymore." Love, she had said love. No past tense. He was going to have to work harder at making her mad at him. It'd make it easier on her. "This coffee tastes like mud." He open the window and poured it out. He didn't look at her. He wouldn't be able to stand the pain he knew the action would've caused.
"I'm taking your friend out away from the town and letting him go while it's still dark enough for no one to see too much."
Ruth handed Kid water and food to give to Nitis. "And that's for Nittis, not you."
"No, you'd just as soon I'd starve."
"Well, you'd just dump out anything I fixed you. Why bother? Besides, you'll be right back unless you're planning to split."
"Not without divorce papers, I'm not."
Kid just took his horse this time and put Nitis in front of him and they were off.
"I wonder how many you've killed?" Kid said to Nitis after a bit. "A lot, I bet. I've killed more than I care to count myself. Most of the time for good reasons, but the fact remains, I took lives away. Sometimes I wonder how many times before you become dead inside yourself. Completely desensitized to the killings. "
"Stupid kid," he continued. "About 18, 19 from the looks of him. I wonder what his story was. That's the hard thing not knowing. Couldn't aim low for the tables of people. Aimed for his arm, but he moved. Such a waste of young life. You know we'd been better off, I think, if guns had never been invented. Your people would too, I reckon. Swords and clubs or even arrows give you a little more time to think, a little more control. But I guess its law and order that's really what's needed cause you know the shootings ain't nearly so bad back east because there are better consequences."
About a mile out, he got down and pulled him off. "Don't make this hard," he warned Nitis as he cut his bonds. "I can't stomach another killing right now."
"I may be a fighter, but my fight is not with you."
Kid about dropped his knife. "Where the devil did you learn English?"
"From the white trappers and miners who come to make money and then leave our land. They are friends. The enemy is the Spanish dogs who stole the land from us."
"Why didn't you say something before if you knew English? Why didn't you listen the first time you woke up?"
"Thought you were liars and learn more about person if they think you not understand. Know much about your wife."
Kid didn't like the way he said that. What was it he knew? Whatever it was, he wasn't saying.
"You leave her," Nitis continued. "Not good. Not good for woman to be alone. I decide I watch over her when you gone. Return good for good."
"You think she's going to let you watch over her? You got another thing coming."
"That for her to say not you." He said as he worked at rolling the sleeves and pant legs up on Kid's too big clothes.
Kid climbed back up on Horse and reluctantly let Nitis up on too. They rode back in silence.
Ruth was in the back of the wagon holding up an old piece of fabric, looking at it thoughtfully as if she had something in mind for it. She stashed it away when she saw them. Confusion was on her face.
Kid got down. "You mind waiting inside while I talk to my wife?" he asked Nitis though his tone said he wasn't really requesting permission. Nitis gave him a long, hard look but got down and went inside.
Kid didn't have to fake his anger this time. "You got real cozy with Nitis while I was gone, didn't you?" he asked as he took care of Horse.
Her mouth dropped open. "I did nothing of the sort."
"I don't mean that kind of cozy. I mean what all did you say to him?"
"That's none of your business. Why?"
"Well, whatever you said, he understood every word."
"He knows English?" she asked with a gasp. Then Nitis knew about the baby. She forced herself to calm down. He clearly hadn't said anything to Kid. And so what if he did? Kid wouldn't care. He would just throw more money her way.
"Now he thinks he's going to be your protector."
"Really? Aww, that's so sweet."
That made Kid's face flame in further anger. "Sweet nothing. You need to send him packing."
"Maybe I don't want to send him packing," she retorted.
Kid was about to respond, but Señor Martinez had walked up on that last little bit.
Ruth looked a little embarrassed to be caught in the middle of a heated argument. "What a pleasure to see you, brother. Is there something we can do for you?"
"I been thinking about your problem."
"You told Señor Martinez?" she asked Kid. She was too angry to care if he saw them arguing now or not.
"I had to know when the judge was coming," Kid said defensively. "He'll be here in the next day or two by the way."
"So kind of you to tell me," she said, full of sarcasm.
"You have no kids, true?" Señor Martinez intervened quickly before the argument got out of hand.
"Yeah," Kid agreed. Ruth made no comment.
"I was just thinking of a case where the wife had not given the man children after years of trying and he ask for divorce because he wanted heirs. And he won. Less messy, less shame. Easy to prove."
"Wait a minute, what do you mean easy to prove?" Ruth asked.
"A doctor looks at your womb. Determines you unfit. That's all," Señor Martinez said.
"That's not all. No man's going to look at my womb or anything else."
"Well, I believe they would take the word of a midwife. I think that is what they did come to think of it," Señor Martinez. "There was no Señor Via then."
"No," Ruth said, "you two can just think of another way."
"Ruth, this is a fast way out," Kid argued. "Why won't you just let a midwife look at you?"
She scoffed in disbelief. "Because I won't. You want a divorce? Fine. But I'm not going to be poked and prodded at like some kind of cattle to do it. If you want them poking and prodding on you, you go right on ahead, but leave me out of it."
She ran to the house. Hot tears stung her eyes. She'd forgotten Nitis was in there until she went inside. She turned to face the wall to wipe them away.
"Nitis also mean friend," he told her softly.
She chuckled at the ironic coincidence, but maybe it was a sign from God that He had given her a friend though he came in an unlikely package. "That's something, ain't it? I'd be proud to call you friend. Lord knows I need one right now."