"Father Eduardo is staying at the church," Señor Martinez further informed them.

"Thank you for letting us know," Kid said.

"I was thinking too you want a annulment not divorce. A divorce will allow you only to lawfully live apart. A annulment will allow you to do whatever you please."

"But we both meant to get married," Ruth said. "How is annulment a choice and we're not even Catholic, so how is that going to work?"

"Señor Cole told me you were married by the Catholic church in California. I do not see why the same laws would not count for you. And there are other reasons for annulments such as if someone never mean to be faithful or have children. That is a serious crime and makes the marriage not count."

Ruth was unsure, but Kid wasn't. "Sounds like annulment is the way to go then," he said.

Ruth turned away to hide her hurt. To want to end their marriage was one thing, but to act as if they'd never even been married in the first place was another. Was he trying to stomp on her heart? If so, he was doing a very good job of it.

Kid retrieved her lap desk from the wagon after Señor Martinez left. "Better get it over and done with after all."

"I reckon so," she said, taking it from him. She tried to sound as neutral and blasé about the whole thing as he sounded, but there was an angry edge to her voice all the same. "You sure you don't want to tell me the real reason we're getting a divorce before I commit a boldface lie to paper."

"I've told you the truth, it's just not good enough for the court, and nagging me about this is only convincing me I'm doing the right thing."

She pursed her lips in anger which oddly enough attracted him. And was it just his imagination or did her bust seem a little fuller. Definitely his imagination, he told himself, the sign of a man who was missing his wife's company.

Ruth took out her pen and ink and a beige sheet of paper. She felt a headache coming on. There was just something about putting it into ink that made it so final, so real.

She shut her eyes for a moment. She was incredibly tired, and to top it off, her chest hurt. It probably hadn't helped that she'd slept in her corset. She'd have to see what she could do about sleeping arrangements tonight that would allow her to sleep more comfortably.

She felt his eyes on her even with her eyes shut like he was boring a hole into her. "You know it's really hard to concentrate when you're staring at me like that."

He flushed as he realized he was staring at her. He felt immensely guilty for kissing her the way he had; he'd only meant to soothe her pain and he'd gotten carried away. If Señor Martinez hadn't interrupted when he did, his lips would have been on hers next and what kind of message would that've sent her. It was better he leave her to it even though he wanted to spend all the time he could with her. "I'm just wondering what you're going to write is all."

"I'm thinking about it carefully. A letter with intent to sue isn't something I write up everyday," she said with a frown.

"Well, I'll give you some space to think about, but hurry it up. I'd like to get a divorce while I'm still young enough to enjoy it."

Ruth wondered how well the pen could sail through the air because she would've liked to lob it right at his head. She gripped it tight until he made it outside.

She still couldn't believe she was doing this. That it had come to this. But what else could she do but press on and hope that the situation worked out and with God she knew it would just maybe not the way she wanted it to.

Her eyes went back to the blank page. She had to word it so that she was telling the truth but it still accomplished its purpose. Maybe she should've just had Kid write it for her.

She dipped her steel nib into the bottle of black ink and began to write furiously, the sound of pen scratching on paper filling the room. Penmanship had been one of her best subjects after Bible, but the messy, blotted letters before her would never have indicated that to the casual observer, which spoke of the depth of her emotional state.

She was more exhausted than ever afterwards. "Lord, I am so angry with that man. I love him, but I'm angry with him. I've tried talking to him, but how long do I give somebody who's treating me this way? Saying all them things. I want to know my sin. I want to repent and make it up to him. Show me, God, what I've done." She paused to take a breath. "Our marriage is in Your hands now because I don't know what else I can do."

sss

Kid whittled a stick down to nothing as he leaned against the wagon. That's how he was feeling like he was being whittled away. He was losing a part of himself by losing Ruth and the sickness was going to take the rest of him..

Nitis made it back with his fruit.

"No trouble being seen?" Kid asked.

"No and from far like this in this clothes, who know who I am?" He pointed himself towards the door.

"She's writing right now to start the divorce. She don't want to be disturbed."

"My people we send wife back to father. Done with. None of these talking leaves. The Spanish need have everything on these talking leaves," he said as if it was just one more proof that the Spanish were crazy.

"Yeah, well, it'd be a little hard for me to send her back to her father. He's too far away and she wouldn't stay there anyway." He switched topics to the one weighing down on his mind. "How long you planning on looking out for her?"

"As long as she need me."

"Hmm," Kid grunted and threw the toothpick of a stick to the ground.

"Our chief get himself pretty, young wife, one of 4 wives. Every man want her, to look at her. So he chop off her nose. Make her not so pretty."

The violent story didn't buoy Kid's confidence in this man being alone with Ruth. "Is there a purpose to telling me this? I'm not going to hurt her if that's what you're afraid of."

"Other men will want your wife when you done. You need make peace with it."

"I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?" he said more bitterly than he intended, showing Nitis he wasn't happy about it.

"You like her so much why divorce?" Probably what Señor Martinez had been thinking after witnessing the kiss to the hand, but only Nitis had been brave enough to ask it.

"Because sometimes the best thing ain't what we want. It's what we have to do. And life just plain ain't fair."

Nitis could agree with that.

Ruth eventually poked her head out and then shoved the paper in Kid's hands as he came back into the cabin.

When I met Kid Cole he had many lady friends and I even became acquainted with one of his dance hall girls at that time, but he told me that he intended to be faithful once we were married, which was something I was not sure he could pull off. Against my better judgment, I married him anyway. It has become apparent to me that the lady friends did not stop and that he does not and never did take his vows seriously. In fact, he boldly met up with another girl of long association once in St. Louis and didn't even try to hide it from me. And it has come to my attention that he has not been behaving in a manner befitting a husband here in Tucson. In light of these facts, I would like to sue for an annulment, since he never intended to stay true and in hopes that his unchristian behavior will not destroy my ministry. God bless, Sister Ruth McKenzie Cole.

"You're a very clever woman," Kid said, "not an outright lie in here, but it cries adultery all the same. Good touch with the way you ended it too. A father will eat that up."

"I'm glad it meets with your approval," she said cuttingly.

She softened as Nitis handed her the red orange berries he'd gathered and she tried one right away. They were acidic and mealy, but it was nice to have something fresh during the winter months.

"Not good eat many but little good," he said, explaining why it was only a handful.

"Thank you, Nitis. That was a nice thing to do."

"I'll see that the note's delivered to the church," Kid said.

Ruth didn't remark one way or the other and Kid left. After she ate the berries, she restarted preparations for lunch though it was the last thing she felt like doing. She had all the ingredients for baked beans. Beans were a steady part of Kid and Ruth's diet, but it was a different way to have it than they usually did. She'd had them soaking overnight. And once she got the ingredients all mixed together, it needed only to bake in the oven.

Lunch was a silent affair. Kid sat one side of her on the bench and Nitis on the other.

A knock to the door interrupted the discomfort. The little Mexican boy Kid had gotten to deliver the message had a return letter. He quickly scampered off and Kid opened it to find a letter of rejection.

"At any rate, that's that, I reckon," Ruth said after she'd read over it. "I know you'll want Horse. I'll go see about getting me a horse to replace him."

"I want you to have Horse."

"But-" she began, getting ready to ask him how he was going to get around without a horse.

"No buts. And Señor Martinez told me they usually reject the first one unless it's a safety issue. You just need to pen another letter. Make it a little more urgent than the last one and it'll happen."

She didn't know whether to be happy that there was more time for him to change his mind or upset that the current agony they were going through was more than likely just being prolonged. She sure wasn't looking forward to writing another letter.