b015. Audience [2]/b
iWhat you don't know
What you can't see
Is what I do for you
I do for me/i
uGet Off/u, bHalestorm/b
The first time she'd caught him watching her... She actually hadn't been disgusted like she should. Oh there'd been a quiver of bile and the urge to gasp in horror. But it hadn't stayed long and she'd eased from it.
She didn't let up that she knew. She simply acted as she always did around him; quiet, but watchful. He'd once muttered that if she ever wanted to be a hunter, she could probably pull it off if she could loose her soft heart. But he – even Daryl – had said she was good at observing, staying back and watching.
And she watched him... Watch her.
It should have made her uncomfortable. Should have made her skin crawl. But Beth didn't feel uncomfortable and her skin didn't crawl. No... It made her feel... Powerful? She wasn't sure if that was the right feeling or word but she knew it was close.
Just as she knew he had a good view from where he tried to hide in the shadows, Beth had also had a good view. She'd gotten good at twisting her body so it covered her face but gave him a decent enough view of what she was doing. And although she kept her clothes on – because she wasn't ithat/i comfortable – she knew he had a good sense to feel out what she was doing.
And although she couldn't see everything, Beth had a good view of just where his hands were as she moved hers... In a strange way she was happy. Happy because it made her feel like she was giving something. All she did was watch Judith or help stitch up people with Maggie. It wasn't enough... Least she'd felt that way.
But Merle... He did a lot for them. He was on guard duty more than many, was constantly fixing things (even more than Daryl), had to put up with the fear of the other residents, had to put up with a lot of hate at him, had lost his hand (Stupidity on his part but not all of it was his blame), and had even been thrust away to a cell away from people. He put up with a lot from them. And never got much in return.
Maybe this was a little something she could offer. Not just for him but for herself. That usefulness, that bit if power she felt... She didn't want it to leave. And though the act was sinful (really what act wasn't these days) and though her family and Glenn would be disgusted with them both... Beth wanted to do this.
"The hell ya staring at, Girl?" Merle growled, causing Beth to blink and realize she was staring at him.
She shook her head and picked up her bowl and put it away before walking past him to Rick. She could feel his steely blue eyes on her back as she lifted Judith from the relieved looking former cop and cooed at the gurgling youth.
She felt his eyes on her as she talked to Carl and made her way over to Daryl with Judith, the baby gurgling happily at being in Daryl's presence, who massaged the top of the babies head. And still felt his eyes as she left for the small "nursery" they had set up for the tiny girl.
After ten minutes she watched him put away his own silverware and follow after Daryl for border patrol. As he left, she felt his eyes flicker her way and she repressed a smile. Because she knew, tonight – just as last night – she'd feel his eyes on her again.