Kid wanted to laugh. Him a father? But her serious expression said it was no joke, but maybe he'd misunderstood. He hoped and prayed that he had. "What?"

"You heard right. You're going to be the father of one of those sticky dwarves."

He hadn't meant what he'd said; it was the result of being bad-tempered over Nitis' words and just the situation he was in. He loved children and he loved the thought that their love had made a child. That's why this revelation hurt so much.

"I-I don't know what to say." Had this news come before the diagnosis he would've been the happiest man in the world. Now he didn't know what to feel except more loss. And he definitely didn't know what to do.

She smiled wryly. "Well, let me set your mind at ease, I don't expect you to be around to raise the baby. We'll get by alright, but do me a favor and if he ever shows up on your doorstep, be kind to him. Maybe you can even explain to him why we got a divorce cause I certainly won't be able to."

"Why would he try to find me?" he asked with a hint of panic.

"Children generally like to know where they come from. I could make something up and have you die some kind of heroic death. It'd be easier probably on him and me, but it wouldn't be right."

The words stung more than she knew. He couldn't tell her that if she said he was dead, it likely wouldn't be a lie. "Well, you got to do what you think is best, I reckon." He could tell the tip of her nose was red even in the poor lighting. "Is it good for you to be standing out in the cold like this?"

That last comment made her even madder. "Don't go acting like you care for either one of us. You know what your problem is?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"You only care about yourself."

"You may be right. I'll see you after Christmas." He hurried away without looking back.

Away from the festivities he cried aloud, "Why, God? Why? Is it not enough that you took my health? Is it not enough that I can't stay with the only woman I've ever loved?"

He wanted to hit something, he wanted to scream, he wanted to tear something apart. In the end, he settled for grabbing a hold of a post on one of the buildings and letting the tears fall.

He was going to be a father and he wouldn't be around to see his son or daughter grow up. He wouldn't even get to see him be born. Life just wasn't fair but then nobody, least of all God, had ever said it would be.

sss

Well, at least it was done, she told herself. The secret was out and what had she expected? That he would declare his undying love for her? That he would want to be a part of the baby's life when he had made it clear to her that he wanted to be as far away from her as possible.

She tried to get her mind back on the singing, but that was hard to do when you didn't understand the words.

The party lasted until dawn, according to the Martinezes. She was weary already and the meeting with Kid had made her wearier, but she stayed for Mass.

"I'm tired," she told the Martinezes afterward. "I hope you don't mind if I want to call it a night."

They, as her guardians/jailers, had no choice but to return with her, which she felt bad about, but they looked a little tired too.

There was only a sliver of moonlight to see by. Señor Martinez used a flower handled skeleton key to unlock the front door.

After telling them good night, she immediately retired.

Ruth gasped when she saw a long shadow on the floor of her room and then breathed with relief when she realized she recognized the person the shadow belonged to.

"How in heaven's name did you get in here? Kid got stuck in the window and he's thinner than you are. And the doors were locked."

"I have ways," Nitis answered cryptically.

"Why are you in here?" She didn't know why she didn't feel fearful, but for some reason she trusted Nitis. There was something about him that inspired confidence.

"I come tell you not give up."

"Not give up? I've been praying nonstop. I've tried everything I know how to do, but if he won't even talk to me what am I supposed to do?"

"Wait."

"On what?"

"Wait," he repeated. "Good will come. Always do."

He was a strange messenger and the words simple, but she did oddly enough draw a small measure of comfort from them. "Are you saying you know why Kid's leaving me?"

"Not for me to say. I need go."

He left by the bedroom door.

She happened to think she hadn't heard Señor and Señora Martinez walk by yet. Nitis was sure to get caught and that would be a problem because she didn't think Señora Martinez would understand why there was an Indian in the house. She rushed to the hallway to whisper a warning, but she didn't see Nitis. He was good. He'd left just a second or two ago and already he'd vanished.

She shut the door back. It was officially Christmas and some Christmas it was turning out to be, she thought as she peeled some of her extra layers off.

She looked down. Was it too soon to sing a lullaby? Probably, but she felt like doing it anyway and the hymn she had in mind would remind her of what she did have to be joyful about. The lullaby was a song her mother had often sung to them when they were little and it was an appropriate one for Christmas. She sang very softly so as not to disturb the Martinezes, her voice only cracking with emotion a couple of times.

"Hush, my dear, lie still and slumber,
Holy angels guard thy bed,
Heavenly blessings without number,
Gently falling on thy head.

How much better thou'rt attended,
Than the Son of God could be,
When from heaven He descended,
And became a child like thee!

Soft and easy is thy cradle,
Coarse and hard thy Savior lay:
When His birthplace was a stable,
And His softest bed was hay.

May'st thou learn to know and fear Him,
Love and serve Him all thy days;
Then to dwell forever near Him,
Tell His love and sing His praise."