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Main Author: A Twinkling Flame
He could hear the whispers. Heard the rumors, heard the gossip, was aware of it all. The most common phrases?
"We warned her..."
"Poor Red..."
"Should've banished him the moment Hare disappeared..."
They chattered like starlings —in fact, Starling herself sometimes joined the exchanges— as if he wasn't even there, as if he was no more than a shadow. No more than the faintest breeze in the air, the exact opposite of the still-raging wind outside. Really, he would suspect that if they would sacrifice him in return for some food they would.
Maybe he was just a shadow. It didn't really matter anymore.
Red had been sick for day upon day upon day; it was a miracle that she was still alive, but starvation made matters worse and just about every herb had died from the cold. No cat would even go out in these constant snowstorms to check for any. Not even him.
Coward.
I'm a coward
coward
coward
Smolder shook unwanted thoughts away. Red had gotten the sparrow from the pile and the feathers would keep her warm. She'd thrown up all the poison; it was a fever that Stoneteller was concerned about.
Of course, he only heard this from the talk. He wouldn't dare go in there, to see his mentor twitching in agony and knowing that it was half his fault and half his mother's —Dove, for somehow being manipulative enough to know that he and Red would choose the rabbit, and him for following along like a blind kit and indeed picking it.
"She's in critical condition. Hot with fever and shaking in cold."
"Delirious, I'd say."
After a particularly snide comment from Snake, a to-be that was several moons older than him, Smolder left the warm cave and nestled himself miserably into a sheltered crook in a rock. The cold sliced at his bones, making him even more desolate and lonely and frozen and numb...
Promise me you'll take care of Hare.
Smolder closed his eyes.
Promise me you'll...
He squeezed them tight and flattened his ears.
...take care of Hare.
He should have walked away when she was dying. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much. Maybe he wouldn't have even heard about Red's malady until a while after, postponing his agony.
Promise
Shouldn't have
Me
made the promise
You'll
Make the hurt...
Take
...stop...
Care
He didn't think he could bear it anymore.
Of
Smolder felt like breaking, breaking, breaking
Hare
Never felt it before
This shatter-shatter-shattering deep inside him somewhere
"Smolder!"
A sharp, high-pitched mew broke right through his gut-wrenching pain and made him stop his slurring nonsensical thoughts. His heart nearly skipped a beat; was it Red?
No... Smolder narrowed his eyes to see past the falling snow as a fluffy pale silver ball bounced towards him.
"Hare?" he croaked. Was his eyesight going awry as well?
"Hare?" the kit echoed as she settled beside him. She gave a snort. "Everyone calls me that, by accident or not." An exaggerated roll of her eyes, and then even more exaggeration as she continued, "you were my last hope, and you call me Hare too!" Another indignant huff. She pushed her muzzle into his face, and Smolder scrambled back, stirring up snow.
"Do you know who I really am?"
"Er... Ice, I think..." he said, all memories of Red gone as he studied this strange kit. "I thought they told you to stay away from me. You should. My sister got snatched because of me. I killed my own mother and poisoned the only cat who cares about me in the process."
"You didn't kill her," Ice said bluntly, "she did.
"And besides, you saved me."
"I didn't. If Red hadn't run, I would have left you to fly off."
"But you were the one who caught the hawk," Ice argued.
"They told you that?"
"Red told me."
"And you believed her versus the majority."
"She's the only decent one around here. Are you decent?" the almost-white tabby tipped her head to one side.
"If I said I was decent, then my head would be full of vain feathers and I wouldn't be decent."
Unexpectedly, Ice burst into a mrrow of laughter. "I like you," she decided. "You're decent too."
"I'm cursed. Don't talk to me." Smolder regained his bearings, having lost them from shock, and buried his muzzle in his paws.
A light shove on his flank made him bring his head back up. Ice was poking him in the flank, and without meaning to Smolder flinched. He wasn't used to touch besides shoves, hardshoves with malicious intent, and Dove's fakely affectionate grooming. When it was time for the Giving of Close Comfort, Red was bustled away by the other cats and led to her mate, Leaf.
Ice seemed to notice how uncomfortable he was. "Sorry."
"Not your fault." He bit his tongue when he replied automatically. You tell her not to talk to you, and then you encourage it by responding?
"Why are you here, then?" He changed the subject.
"Boulder's being a dung-face to me, so I wanted to play with you."
"Dung-face?" Another pang hit him. His sister used the same insult whenever she was angry. His sister asked him to play with her all the time. His sister was just as innocent as Ice.
"Will you play with me?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"They'll punish me. They always find out some way."
Both cat knew who they were. Ice planted her paws firmly on the ground.
"That's not fair."
"I know it's not."
"So why don't you stand up and tell them?"
"Because..." he trailed off. She has a good point, Smolder acknowledged grudgingly. Now that he thought about it, at least.
"Will you play with me?" Ice repeated for the third time.
"I already gave you my answer." He hated to admit it, but the tom was rather enjoying these exchanges.
"You changed your mind."
Smolder forced his fur to lie flat. How did you know? he wanted to ask, but didn't. Instead he said, "aren't you scared?"
"Of what?"
"Of my curse."
Ice licked her lips. "You think I believe in that stupid stuff?"
"I'm sure Boulder will feel bad for upsetting you and he won't be a... dungface... anymore."
"But it's still boring. And plus, Cloud is like the whiniest kit in the whole entire world. I can't wait 'till I become a to-be," she added.
"I might not play with you," Smolder meowed —that would do nothing but bring back painful memories— "but I can teach you to hunt."
Ice pricked her ears, looking interested. "You're a cave-guard."
Smolder found himself starting to stand up from his crevice. The gelidness had died down a little; it was still cold, but not quite as much. "I've watched enough prey-hunters to know what they do. Now, crouch down for me."
As he bent down to gently correct her swishing tail, Smolder felt the pain in him melt a little more like the snow that they were standing on. He might not be able to take care of Hare —not yet, anyway— but he could and would lead this cat, this cat that looked almost exactly like his sister, on to the right path so she would grow into a formidable prey-hunter.
One day he would rescue Hare, he knew it...
But perhaps for now, this would be enough.