To Remiss

Remus

"Lara! Lara can you hear me? Look at me!" I shouted urgently to the sobbing girl I hardly even knew.

Her eyes were still unfocused and she whimpered in my arms.

"No! I beg you! I beg! Stop! Mother! Get him to stop! Do something – why not? How can you say that! Can't you see how sick it is! I didn't mean that! No!"

"Lara! You're here, in the Gryffindor common room! Lara!" Finally I saw a flicker in her eyes.

Wide grey eyes found mine, like out of the darkness, and her shivering subsided a little. She relaxed a little and I watched, shocked, as tears leaked out of her eyes. Before I realised what was going on she was sobbing raucously onto my shoulder.

We sat like that for a long time and gradually her tears calmed. It was about at this point that Alex came into the room. I nearly jumped to my feet in relief when I saw him. He would know what was best for his sister. He would help her best.

He didn't seem surprised at her condition, which struck me as odd. Instead his face was sad and stress lines appeared between his eyes. He looked at us for a while, his eyes on Lara, and then he turned and picked up Lara's bag, sitting by the door. I hadn't seen it as I'd came in and I briefly wondered how he'd know it was there. He came back over and sat in the chair opposite us and began to rummage through it. He pulled out a leather wallet.

"Nein Alex. Eine Dosis ausreichend sein werden." Lara hiccupped weakly for next to me; he looked up at her and nodded slowly.

I recognised the language as German but I had no idea what she'd said. However, I could tell that I had stumbled upon a very private matter between the twins and was unsure if I should excuse myself. They probably didn't want me here, Lara certainly wouldn't and that fact was proven by her use of German.

"Don't worry, you can stay Remus, if you want" Alex said, without looking up, and I had a weird feeling that he had sensed my worries. His voice was tired and it sounded like he was trying to recover just as much as Lara was.

He pulled out a thin glass tube, plugged by cork and filled with a pale blue liquid. He handed it to his sister and she opened it, tipping the whole thing in her mouth without hesitation.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left" Alex said, rubbing his head.

"Don't be stupid, stupid" She replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Maybe you should go to the hospital wing?" I asked quietly and they turned to me, their looks clearly saying that was out of the question. I shrugged and examined Lara again.

She was calming, her breath slowing but I noticed her hands still shook as she handed the phial back to her brother. They were staring intently at each other and as I watched they both stood up in unison.

"Come on. We'll be late for Herbology at this rate" Alex said resigned.

Lara

Remus stared at me all week. I avoided his gaze as much as possible; I was embarrassed to say the least, he'd seen me in a state nobody was meant to know about. It didn't happen very often, once every couple of months something would trigger it. My aunt had told me it was common with people who had been… you know, and that it would fade with time.

I remembered seeing his blue eyes pulling me out of the darkness. They were incredible, clear as fresh water and bright as the sky and I could see that flecks of gold speckled the surface, like fairy dust had fallen there. His eyes, Remus Lupin's, which held so many secrets, had captured me.

Usually I could say I was above the girly crushes which seemed to plague other girls but I wasn't so certain with Remus. I'm not sure it was a crush, parse, in fact I wasn't really sure of what it was. Alex found it all very amusing.

However, Remus was different and he intrigued me. His mind had a slightly different texture to other peoples and his though processes had a slight… edge to them. I really couldn't figure it out.

As well as this, I was settling into life at Hogwarts. I knew the basics of how to get around, including my own clutch of shortcuts, which was a relief – I hated having to ask people where to go. I'd officially dropped History of Magic (thank Merlin) but I was still overwhelmed with the amount of homework I was getting. It wasn't that difficult, the work that is, it was just difficult to organise it into my day.

Lily and I had become fast friends. We enjoyed all the same things, she was intelligent, fiery and I was always comfortable around her. I also became great friends with the Marauders, much to Lily's displeasure.

James and Sirius were just as arrogant and free willed as on the train and I laughed at their smug looks and the way they swaggered around the school. I watched amused with Lily as they left giggling, red faced girls in their wake everywhere they went. I was immensely glad they didn't have that effect on me, I mean, how embarrassing! I simply snorted when one of them gave me a smug look or a lopsided grin that usually had teenage girls misty eyed. However I could sense in them a fierce loyalty which drew me irresistibly to them

Of course, Sirius was trying his best. He had been flirting with me ever since the train journey and I was really beginning to get annoyed by it. I knew how to cope with him, that wasn't difficult; it was just the death stares I was getting everywhere I went. I mean honestly! It's not like any of them were even going out with the boy, hell I wasn't even going out with him! So why did they stare at me like I was some kind of attention seeking slag who had slipped a boy a love potion? I just hoped Sirius would realise I wasn't for him before the hate mail and poisoned pumpkin juice started coming my way.

Peter was much like I'd expected him to be; Quiet for the most part and yet jumping in now and then with random little comments. He had a free (slightly hysterical) laugh and he agreed with almost everything that his friends said, unless he believed it to be too risky. His eyes glinted happily when people admired the Marauders and he bounced happily along with his popular friends. For some reason I felt sorry for him, even though it was irrational. He was, after all, a part of a group of friends who were loyal and trusting (never mind admired) and so there was little reason to feel sorry for him. Yet I did.

Many times, much like with Remus, I had a sense for a person. Remus was different and Peter was cowardly. He was so frightened of being weak and insignificant all the time and this was one of the reasons Alex did not trust him.

How do you know that feeling might not lead him to place his loyalty elsewhere? I know you pity him but that is a possibility. He said once.

I did not know what to think…

Peter had his own place in this group of friends, a part he had been in for five years. He was a Marauder, just as much as they were. I was an outsider by all terms; it was not my right to judge his place.

James

Me and Padfoot walked down the stairs to the common room discussing the prank to be played on the Slytherin house tomorrow. It was Friday already, I couldn't believe it. We'd been a bit slack this week and had yet to greet the New Year in style. When we walked into the room, Sirius made a beeline for a certain silver haired girl sitting in front of the fire reading. I bit back a chuckle at my friends much too obvious interest.

"Hey Greyette! Managed to find the door to the library, I see? Remus mentioned you looked like you were planning to live there for now on" He said joyously, jumping into a nearby couch.

"Hey Blacky! Managed to work the door to your dorm, I'm impressed! Or did James help you?" she countered looking up from her book and grinning at us.

I could really see what Sirius was on about when I really looked at her. She was very pretty, in a mysterious way. Whereas Lily was all about colour, with her vibrant red hair and vivid green eyes, Lara was all black and white. Her skin was perfectly smooth and fair, her long waist length hair was silver and her wide eyes were grey and stormy. Her black robes only accentuated this complete lack of colour. Her name was well suited.

I laughed at the two. They had been biting holes at each other all week, almost like me and Lily though slightly friendlier. Lily usually made her insults sound real when talking to me, not that she meant them, of course.

"Well… I may have had a slight hand in it…" Sirius looked at me affronted, making me laugh even more.

I sat down and Grey put her book down. I lounged and looked around, catching the eyes of a pair of fourth year girls who descended into giggles. Girls are weird, I looked away, smug.

"So, Remus mentioned that you might be up for Chaser trials?" I asked casually. I was curious to see if she was a good flyer, June Brooks had left last year so we had a space open for chaser – if she wanted it. I said as much.

"Really? Yeah I'd like to try out, I played for my last school though I don't know how good I am" She said uncertainly dragging her hand through her hair.

"Well trials are next Friday so you have a week to decide. I'm a chaser too and Sirius is a beater" I told her and she grinned and nodded.

"I'll be there"

Lara

I couldn't stop thinking about Quidditch trial next Friday but on Tuesday something happened that wiped it from my mind.

I was sitting with Sirius, James and Peter - Lily and Remus had prefect duties and Alice was with her boyfriend of a year, Frank Longbottom. We were talking about their resent prank on the Slytherins, in which their food on Saturday morning had turned a vibrant sickly green. Yum.

I felt Alex running toward the portrait in a panic and I jumped to my feet. Moments later Alex ran in and headed to me. His thoughts were jumbled and fearful, I couldn't understand him.

"What's happened?" I said urgently as he gasped for breath.

"He's here!"

"WHAT! Father?" I shouted. How could he be here, surly he couldn't do anything. Could he?

"No! No, no not him" I sighed "Lara, Darien is here – you know – Darien Irvine! What if he-"

"You know Irvine? The Slytherin?" Sirius cut in.

Darien. That piece of filth was here? My anger boiled at the thought of that double crossing, betraying monster. Of course he was in Slytherin, where else. He was a coward for what he's done to my brother.

I could see him, in Alex's thoughts, sitting smugly at the far table, blowing a spiteful kiss and waving jokingly. He looked much like he had before; a handsome Italian face, long black hair, olive skin and dark eyes. I remembered seeing that face blush and smile indulgently. I remembered stolen kisses in the shadows and burning hands.

He was here.

"Him. That bastard is here? Oh, if he dares say a word to us then I swear nobody will have the power to stop me" I growled.

"But what if he tells people that…?" Alex asked uncertainly.

"Then we know what to say back. Too much is at risk for him, I doubt he'll say anything. But just let him do his best"

"What the hell did that bastard do?" shocked at the intensity of my anger, James asked, which, inevitably, calmed me immediately.

"It's in the past. It matters not" I said, looking back at the boys.

Sirius was looking worriedly between me and my brother and James was at his side frowning. Both boys were on their feet. Peter was still sitting, looking confused. I turned back to my brother. He looked calmer but he was still shaken. I steered him to the seats and we all sat down again.

"What do you know of Irvine? We haven't seen him in a year." I asked them which was answered by Sirius.

"Well, he's our year in Slytherin. Hangs out with Snivellus and other foul pieces of work like Avery, Rosier, Mulciber and Wilkes – all of them are in the Death Eater hopefuls' crew. They nearly got caught in some seriously dark magic on Mary McDonald last year but we can't prove it to the teachers, much like many other cases" He scowled.

Alex was getting more and more agitated.

"Basically he's a rotten in all senses then?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah. That sound about right" James said darkly.

"How do you know him?" Peter asked.

I shifted in my seat. I didn't know how much to tell them, how much did Alex care for them to know. Just as I was about to answer Alex answered, to my surprise.

"He went to our old school, Amalia's Witchery Academy, before coming here last year. He was… our friend, back then he was generous and fun but then he went away for the summer and he came back malicious. He slandered us, made us laughing stock of the whole school and made our father livid at us. Which… is no small thing" he said suggestively. I cringed at brought back memories.

Everyone looked at us in a way that showed he had created even more questions than at the beginning.

Our second week sped by. The boys served their first detention on Monday and I was amused to see my brother had been dragged along. Alex had recovered from his meeting with Darien and I had my eyes open for the bastard. Other than this, Quidditch trials were here.

I was nervous. I really wanted to get onto the team but I had no idea if I was any good. My last team had been a small thing and basically anyone who wanted to play could because so few people wanted to. The coach had said I was good… but who knew if I could make a Hogwarts team. Sirius seemed to think I would get on no matter what and kept talking about how good it would be if I were on the team. However I think this was mostly just another flirting ploy.

So when Friday came I followed the boys to the Quidditch pitch and crossed my fingers. Lily and Alex would be watching from the stands and the thought slightly calmed me. It was only a tryout. It was only a tryout…

There was a cold wind in the clear blue sky that chilled me to the core. I rubbed my arms as we walked to the changing rooms, noting that pitch ground was springy. My Nimbus 1500 (otherwise known as my pride and joy or the reason I once nearly hugged my father) was over my shoulder and I felt its gentle vibrations in my hand, willing to fly.

After we had changed, James directed the Chasers to one side of the pitch and explained what we would have to do. In the first exercise we would get into pairs and fly from one side of the pitch to the other, passing the quaffle between us as we went. This went ok, it was a fairly easy test to separate the micky takers from those who actually could play (or fly). I was paired with a boy from fourth year who was alright. A lot of his throws went amiss though and I would have to dive to get them. My passes were fairly neat, though the boy nearly dropped one which bounced off his hands.

The second exercise had us trying to score against the keeper, Glen Fisher, five times. Glen was a sixth year, like me, who had dark brown curly hair and a slim frame. I'd watched him dart from side to side for the others and I levelled him off as a tough opponent. Nobody had yet got more than three goals.

There was a young girl, probably third year who did surprisingly well. Her first two managed to go through, though her third landing straight in his hands, the fourth one went in as well and her fifth nearly went in – but not quiet. I grinned at the little thing as she flew back over, grinning madly, her plait bouncing, and I congratulated her warmly. She seemed flushed at my praise and scurried off sheepishly, to my confusion.

"Miss Grey, you next" James called and I giggled to myself. Boys become so serious once in the air, James had this superior look to him and was talking to everyone very formally.

I flew into the air, loving the feel of the wind on my face. I had tied my hair into a knot at the back of my head to keep it from blowing in my eyes during the tryout.

My first three attempts went directly through the hoop much to my pleasure and I vented a bit of my feelings by doing a loop in celebration. My fourth was caught, unfortunately, by a very skilled save by Fisher. I thought my fifth would be caught too when Fisher flew to my desired hoop just after I'd thrown it but I used a tactic I'd seen in a German match (Blitz verses Unschärfen) where I kicked the quaffle in the far hoop just before it reached the waiting hoop and keeper.

I heard Alex and Lily cheering (as well as others I didn't know) and I felt my heart elevate. Alex mentally patted me on the back. I landed gently on the floor and waited for the trials to end. James would be telling us who got into the team after the others.

"Well done. You flew well, I was watching" someone said and I turned to see Remus sitting on a nearby bench smiling "James is bound to put you on the team"

"Thanks, I didn't know you were here." I said, sitting next to him awkwardly.

Remus' mind was in turmoil and I felt he wanted to say something, ask something. I wonder what, I thought sarcastically, thinking back to my last episode. I waited patiently, looking out at the pitch and the remaining hopeful chasers. He didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

"You might as well ask, Remus" I said softly, looking at him.

Remus

I was taken aback. How did she know I wanted to ask her something?

"Oh. Err, well…" I searched for words. There were so many things I wanted to ask.

"You want to know about… last week, in the common room?" She asked me and I nodded.

I heard her sigh and she removed her penetrating gaze from me, staring instead at the flyers above.

"I thought you would. You see… a few years ago, and you may have figured this out, I… watched a person being tortured and then…" she tailed off

"Who was it?" I said quietly. I had been hoping that it wasn't something like this, though logic contradicted me.

She snorted.

"Who? Who was the caster or who was the victim?" she sighed again, shaking her head. Her eyes were glazed, like the times with Alex.

"If I tell you, you must not tell anyone else. No matter what." I nodded again in accent.

"Well… my father is a hard man at best, he hates disobedience of any type, and at worse he becomes… crazed. One day my brother and I… we made him really angry, though it was Darien Irvine's fault that he even found out. The anger was directed most at Alex though. So father used the Crusiatus curse" I remembered her tearful, shacking moment and shivered "I could feel it through him. Feel the pain coursing through his bones and skin, like daggers. I begged him to stop, obviously, but he didn't listen. Not until I demanded he use me did he release the curse. He'd been waiting for that. He knows the best way to punish one, is to punish the other. So that is what happened." She finished.

I was silent for a long time and she was equally so.

Her own father? How is it possible for a person to do that to their own children? How could he? These two Grey twins, who looked more mature than their years, they who held secrets in their gaze and words. It became clearer to me.

No – stop it! Just leave him alone, use me instead!

Looking at her, her eyes was distant with memory and her fair face was sad.

No! I beg you! I beg! Use me! Stop! Mother! Get him to stop!

"What about your mother?" I asked softly.

"She can do nothing against him and she'd do nothing that jeopardizes her marriage. There are times, I'm sure when she does manage to calm him but she can't always." She whispered back.

"Will he be that angry about you being in Gryffindor?"

"I don't know"