WARNING : VERY VERY DARK CHAPTER
To Catch
Cynthia
I didn't know what to do.
Alexander was back and he was angry. More than he should be. What had happened? What had added to his mood? What was he going to do? He had a letter in his clasped hand which he kept unrolling to scowl at again and again. He was muttering and fingering his wand. I was scared. I was scared at what he planned to do to our children.
I knew he'd been angry they'd been put in Gryffindor but this fury was new. I didn't go near him. I knew my place and the limits of my presence. I'd do no good by going to him.
I thought many times about simply grabbing the twins and taking them back to Hogwarts with strict instructions to never come back. I was scared though. Scared of what he'd do to me if I did that. He had never raised his wand against me but there was a first time for everything. I tried to tell myself it wasn't Alex and Lara that had got him in this state.
I didn't believe myself though and my fears were confirmed when I saw their wands on his desk.
That morning at breakfast the twins came down with apprehension and fear in their eyes. I could see they were scared by the way they held hands and the way Lara brushed her hand through her hair. In both their eyes I saw the flickering of their silent communication.
My husband wasn't coming down yet, he had locked himself in his study but I knew he'd be out at some point. The twins, tense as wires when they came in, visibly relaxed when they realised their father wasn't here. I gave them no more than a rapid glance as they came in and then 'continued to read my paper'. They settled into the empty seats and helped themselves to toast.
Outside I could hear nothing except the gentle whistle of the wind. It was still snowing, though not nearly as heavily as before. All the fires were lit and the house elves had dutifully placed insulation charms on the house. This morning I had stared out onto the rolling hills of white and decided that if it were not for the house I would have quite enjoyed living here. Perhaps in a nice cottage, not too big or too small, with worn grey brick walls and a thatched roof. I'd have a garden to tend just like mother used to do and somewhere with a bench to look out over the hills. I'd have like that.
I had been hit by reality not long after as I heard a door slam from behind me.
No. This is where I lived now, he would not care to move and so we would not. He cared little for such simple things as the view from the window or the atmosphere of a house. To him it was better that the place was cold and forbidding. It showed power.
He used to care. When we had first married and gone to live in Germany we had spent months decorating together to make the large house seem warm. He had wrapped an arm around me and talked about how our children should grow up in a cheerful home. In his words I had seen so clearly our children running in and out of the furniture with smiled on their round faces as they tried to catch each other.
I had pretended not to notice as the house slowly declined and sunk into coldness. I had turned my head when he'd come home from work at the ministry with a glint in his eyes. I conjured up fake explanations and told myself that when our approaching twins were born things would lighten up and indeed it did seem that way for a while.
I don't know what had happened to him...
Time ticked away. The morning passed uneventfully and still he remained locked in his study. I heard from the elves that he'd not called for any food or drink while he'd been there. Three o'clock came and went. The twins were in their rooms. Four o'clock I tapped gently on his study door and called if he'd wanted anything. He hadn't answered. At five he got the elves to bring his dinner. Six o'clock, we ate in silence.
I went to the library and he came to me.
"Cynthia darling, will you ask them to meet me in the hall?" His voice had been filled with fake pleasantries and thankfully he left before he saw my horrified expression.
I'd heard him say that before. I wondered if he'd used the exact same words to let me know. Let me know that... Oh Merlin. Oh God. I swear on the magic in my veins...
What do I do?
I didn't know what to do!
Alex
"I have received a letter; can you guess what is in this letter?" He said, his face was controlled but the hairline cracks in his composure were widening and his face was becoming pink – which would turn red, then purple. In his hand he held a neatly folded piece of parchment which he was waving and slapping against his other hand. The quiet sound seemed to drum away at the time.
We were in the hall. It was meant to be a grand dining room but it had been cleared of the long oak table and the cold grey stone was unlit save for a single green fire in the grate. It was just like the old room: Long, high ceilinged and bone chillingly cold. Thin arching windows lined one side letting in a stripped pattern of light, exactly the same. I wondered if this room had been modelled to match our German home or if the German mansion was matched to copy this. There was no colour. Just seeing it brought back last time and I almost thought the PCE would kick in. Not that it needed to. This room was my nightmares.
Remind me why we decided this was the best course of action? Why did we think this was a good idea?
We shook our heads, trying to hold our own composures that hid our terror.
"No? This letter came from a correspondent I have in Hogwarts. It was sent just after you left Hogwarts. Do you know now?" we gapped at him. He'd been spying on us! What could he know? Who was it? I eyed the paper with distrust.
He looked between us with disgust on his face, disgust at the rancid smell of shame. He had a twitch on his top lip as if he wanted to scowl. He looked like he didn't know where to start. I felt a shiver of premonition go down my spine. His gaze settled on me and my blood froze. I knew that look. It seemed to touch my very soul and the quiet menace radiating from his thoughts sent quivered down my spine. When he spoke he was deadly cold and so quiet and fuelled it was even worse than if he'd been shouting.
"To think I ever gave you my name. You are not an Alexander, you are not even Grey." he began walking towards me with deliberate steps, I back away "To think I let you fool me. Oh, I was too soft back then, too shocked that my only son was a... No, I was in denial. Not anymore. I know boy, I know. I know you lied, you little..." I felt my back meet the wall and I stood frozen and panicky, he knew! He seemed to be trying to find the right word but shook his head in rejection "Well, you're never going back to that school. YOU are never going to see that - that vile boy ever again." He spat "You will both go to the Dark Lord. If you survive that then you will have arranged marriages. You will never leave the house. You will never show your shameful tainted faces to the world we are creating ever again. To think that, my own - my own BLOOD turned into this!" His face was red and he was sputtering. I was petrified.
He knew I was gay! How did he know! How could he! Nobody knew, not about Siri at least! How had the person – the spy - found out! Lara was backed against the window, her head whipping between us. I rubbed my sweating hands against my jeans and found that they were shaking.
"You disgust me" The simple statement was slow to be processed in my thoughts as I watched with numbness as his wand was drawn as if in slow motion. I looked up into his face than and saw the word form on his lips. Lips spoke a single word and I saw every syllable though the sounds did not reach my brain. Croo – lips in a small pushed out O. Shee, lips drawn back, teeth bare to see. Oh, another circle, wider than the last.
"Crucio!"
Pain slammed into me. I screamed so hard I thought I must be able to force out all of my insides with the power. Everything was on fire. Everything was pain. I was pain. My body was shouting at me and my brain was shaking. It was all I could think of. It broke my connection to Lara, though I knew she would still have her mind in mine. She would be burning with me.
I didn't hear the voice around me, not really.
"YOU DISGUSTING, FOUL, DISGRACEFUL AND UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BLOODTRAITOR YOU DESERVE THIS PAIN!"
"STOP IT!"
"YOU'LL REGRET THE DAY YOU EVER DECENDED TO THE LEVEL OF MUGGLES!"
"HURT ME INSTEAD!"
"YOU STINKING, UNCLEAN MAGGOT!"
"PLEASE! NO!"
"SILENCE!"
Then suddenly the pain went and I lay gasping on the cold stone floor of the hall. I couldn't remember falling but that was hardly important. I laid my face against the icy floor, relishing in the cooling temperature. I winced as the throbbing aches all over my body reach my brain; even with the curse gone I was still in pain.
I could hear Lara screaming at him, calling him names that wouldn't help her own predicament, or mine. Suddenly, Lara's curses were cut off and I heard her fall to her knees.
I looked up and saw that Lara had been gagged and tied up; her eyes were like venom with more hate than I had ever seen on her face. Blood was seeping from under the tightly bound ropes, blossoming on her pale blue shirt in long horizontal lines. Her mind was red and boiling. She looked at me and they softened, she asked me if I was alright and I simply nodded.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! YOU DIGUSTING SLUT. You whore for that beast don't you! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Oh, I know all about Remus Lupin that non-human monster. You know don't you! You know what that THING is! ARE YOU NOT FULLY AWAY OF WHAT THAT MONSTER IS?"
She just stared at him, unable to deny that she knew he was a werewolf, unable to deny that she had a more than close relationship with him. She stared at him in snow white shock. His bulging eyes, dark with anger, gazed at Lara who tried to stumble back in fear. He advanced on her and wiped out his wand again.
"YOU ARE NO CHILD OF MINE. EVER SINSE YOU WENT TO THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING SCHOOL WITH THAT CRACK POT, MUDBLOOD LOVING HEADTEACHER YOU HAVE BEEN DISLOYAL AND NO BETTER THAN MUDBLOOD FREAKS! FRATERNISING WITH WEREWOLVES, MUDBLOOD FILTH AND BLOOD TRAITORS LIKE POTTER AND BLACK. YOU BOTH DISGUST ME!"
"CRUCIO!"
"NO!" I yelled.
She screamed and twisted in the ropes that tied her. Her face was red with agony and the sound her muffled cries were cutting like daggers through me. But the worst was her mind. Lara's pain surged through our connection into me and I wept at the agonized mentality that was my sister. It brought back my own torture and I had no trouble remembering the feeling. Her world was all pain. Our world was all pain. And our own father was doing it.
Why did we come!
I was beating the floor with my fists so hard that I left bloody paw mark of the stone.
I couldn't bear this. I had to do something. I wanted to...
Lara
My limbs seemed to burst into flame. My eyes were being turned inside out. Thousands of white hot needles were being jammed into my brain. My skin was being grated away. I tried to scream, but the gag stopped me. Nevertheless it felt as if my entire body was raw from this desperate force in my throat. The excruciating pain was flooding me, drowning me and I begged for it to stop. I'd do anything to make it stop. I'd die, just to make it go away. I couldn't breathe for the gag, I wanted to flail and writhe but the ropes wouldn't let me. Darkness and red filled my sight; I was alone in this never ending pain, for Alex wasn't out there. Not to me.
It seemed like it would never stop and my mind gave a threatening shudder, as if it was about to snap.
When it finally did end, not a moment too soon, I slumped to the floor in defeat, the digging ropes still holding me up. This was a mere dull pain compared to that.
Alex
He had begun to calm slightly. His face was revolted and hateful still but his rage had quieted down. I stared at the floor.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him whip his wand and Lara's gag shot out of her mouth, which started to bleed profusely from a cut in her lip. She spat the blood dully onto the floor before the shiny black shoes of our father.
I wept and crawled to the heaving body of my sister, not caring what he may think of it. I cradled her small form in my arms and send my mind soothingly into hers, comforting the person inside and helping to pull the pieces together again. I felt her respond in my arms and her thoughts replied feebly, I sighed with relief.
"I have to know what you know, where you stand" he said and there was an evil glint in his eyes that I had never seen there before. Something had been twisted in his mind; he had never come close to breaking us when he'd been angry before. It was like a leach had been implanted into his brain and sucked out anything merciful and forgiving.
The Dark Lord had released and encouraged everything bad about this already cruel man.
He stepped towards me and I shrank away.
He raised his wand and I felt as if rope had been tied across by chest and was pulling me up. I was being pushed roughly against the wall and my face was turned forcefully towards him, my father.
He gave me another sly smile and said in a more hushed voice.
"I am about to use one of the most useful things the Dark Lord taught me. Now, now there's no need to cry – I'm sure it doesn't hurt – not that I would know..."
I tried to shake my head in disgust but the spell wouldn't let me.
"You tell us we're foul but I don't think you know the meaning of the word. You should try looking in a mirror, it might help you with your definitions" I spat at him instead.
He stared at me with hate, then, his eyes still locked on mine, he raised his wand and pointed it at me.
"You'll regret that. Now let see how you like the taste of your own medicine. I wonder how many secrets you have stolen with that unnatural mind of yours. Time to see"
"Legilimens"
I dived into my memories and I felt him follow me.
I saw Hogwarts high on the hill gleaming, beautiful / The sorting hat was telling me about myself and I wish not for Slytherin / I meet Lily and she's telling me and Lara about her muggle family / Sirius is talking about his cruel dark-arts pure-blood mother with a look of disgust / we're all reading the news cringing and weeping over the latest deaths, I wonder if father killed them and feel ashamed / I'm looking at Sirius, the joy dancing in his eyes, he's beautiful / I'm finally kissing Sirius! He likes me back! / I'm about to leave for Christmas break, I'm scared of father / Mother looks at us with that strange mind again, what's different? / The party is in full swing, I hate it / Malfoy and that other voice enter the alcove next to us, we hear them talk about – No! – We decide to - NO!
I hear him growl with annoyance and a blast of boiling hot air is blasted towards Lara. She screams in shock and my eyes go wide. Trust him to know my weak point. I feel Lara touching the left side of her stinging face and finds it wet, hot blood trickles down her neck. She looks at me in panic; she knows that this way father will find out about our plan to alert the order, a deliberate action for the light side. I don't know how to get us out and away. I made a promise to Sirius and I want to keep it.
"AGAIN!"
"STOP! STOP IT! I BEG YOU! I BEG YOU, LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lara shrieked shrilly.
"SILENCE!" He slashed his wand viciously though the air and she was thrown into the wall, knocked out by the force of the spell she slid to the floor, unmoving.
"Legilimens!"
"The Dark Lord thought it would be prudent to start targeting the mudbloods soon. He told me to alert the usual crowd that on the fifteenth of January we'd be travelling to some of the muggle families to… settle some differences." I didn't have to see him to know he was smirking "He said we'd need a list of the Mudbloods to start which is where you come in."
"Of course, it should be fun"
We should tell Dumbledore – the Order of the Phoenix - they could do something about it I'm sure.
I was released from the wall and I slid down. I felt a kick hit my stomach and the air in my lungs was forced out. I couched but didn't move more than that. I felt my arm dragged out from under me and a sharp pain came from it but I didn't care anymore.I was mentally weak and my brain protested as I opened my eyes. I was ashamed at myself for letting him in. I should have fought harder against him. I throbbed all over and I tasted of blood and sweat and fear. I was a shame to my family, like I'd always known. My sister would curse me for these thoughts but I hated myself and wasn't sure if I wanted to live through any more pain.
My sister? Where was Lara? She was silent inside my head and I couldn't hear her mind. No. She couldn't be...
I struggled up, nearly giving up half way through but continued because I needed to find Lara.
My brain seemed to work in slow motion.
I saw him leaning over her, she was still, inactive. No. He was doing something to her arm. I didn't know what. I didn't care. Her beautiful silver hair was fanned out around her, stained with blood. Then I saw her face.
And the deep red slash that crossed it.
She was silent. The bright, strong person that always lurked in the back of my mind was silent.
I had broken my promise like I had her broken face.
It was my fault.
My sister was dead. I could not live without my sister. I would not see Sirius again, I wasn't going back. My sister was dead and I had broken my promise.
It was my fault.
I knew I was about to faint and I hoped I would never wake from it.
Was it too much? I kept thinking it was too dark but I don't know... reviews are very welcome...
Oh and as i said to Emerald Malfoy - do not make assumptions...