Harry walked over to the grimy window and sat on the window-seat, drawing his knees up to his chest and leaning back against the aging wallpaper. He felt empty and hollow inside; the last few hours having drained everything out of him. He didn't even possess the energy to cry over what he'd lost or what leaving Draco would mean for him.

Harry glanced down at the bronze Grevillea bracelet firmly attached to his wrist. It was only a matter of time before the enchantment set in and the pain of separation drove him insane. He knew that he couldn't just walk away from his relationship with Draco. The only way Draco could be free of him was for Harry to remove his bracelet, which would then instantly stop his heart from beating.

Harry looked back out the Shrieking Shack's filthy window with a sigh. Draco would be fine, the bracelet would just drop from his wrist and he would be free of Harry and his problems forever, still young enough to start over, to find someone new. Someone better.

Harry grimaced at the thought of someone else with Draco. The surge of jealousy surprised him, and only caused him to feel even more remorse for what he'd put Draco through. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He'd put Draco through hell and back from day one of their relationship.

Harry opened his eyes and looked down at the bracelet once more.

Putting friends and family through hell and back was what he did though. Since birth he'd been causing problems for everyone around him. Again he wished that he'd remained at Borgin and Burkes, he couldn't hurt people there; he was the only one that got hurt within those walls.

"Surely death is better than that," Harry muttered to himself, emerald eyes still gazing at the bracelet. "But how…?"

He looked around the small musty room for something sharp, something that could pry the tiny magical prongs from where they were imbedded deep within his wrist. Nothing useful was close at hand so he got to his feet and picked up an old cracked lamp from the floor and returned to the window-seat.

Harry removed his wand from the waistband of his trousers and quickly transfigured the antique lamp into a small razor-sharp knife.

He set aside his trusty wand and held the small knife in his hand, feeling the weight of it in an almost detached sort of way. His right arm was beginning to hurt again, the broken bone throbbing beneath the bruised skin. He could feel his cheek swelling a little from where Lance had slapped him, and he was sure a nice black-eye was forming around his right eye as well.

Harry squeezed the knife in his hand, allowing the metal handle to dig into his hand in a satisfying way. He remembered being so strong when he was young. All those years at Hogwarts when Voldemort was after him and he didn't know who he could trust, never once did he contemplate giving up. Never once did he envision running away from his problems, even when everyone was against him, even when it looked as though he wasn't going to survive the next day let alone the next year of his tumultuous teenage life.

"What's changed?" he wondered dispassionately.

He knew the answer to that. Losing his sight, his friends and his dream job all in the space of a couple of years finally killed his resilience. He'd survived the war and killed Voldemort and still he hadn't been granted a reprieve – until Draco had walked into his life.

Harry frowned. He didn't want to think about Draco. He loved the Slytherin more than he could ever attempt to put into words, and not only because Draco had saved him but because they were simply meant to be together. He loved spending time with him, laughing with him, teasing him, making love with him….

Harry blinked and quickly pulled back his sleeve, exposing the Grevillea bracelet. He didn't want to question his decision. He wasn't going to be selfish. Perhaps Draco would be angry with him for this but he would come to realise that it was for the best, maybe Draco was even now thinking about ways for them to end their relationship. He would never suggest Harry remove the bracelet, he was too noble for that. The old Malfoy might have but not the new caring Draco Malfoy; Harry's Malfoy.

He desperately pushed away the unbidden images of what could have been; of a wedding, of the two of them walking hand in hand down a long aisle and smiling tenderly at each other as they clasped hands in front of an officiate…

Harry slipped the tip of the knife under one of the prongs and pulled up.

The resulting pain caused him to scream in agony. The knife fell from his fingers and clattered to the floor as he collapsed forwards, breathing heavily. After a few minutes, he straightened up and looked at the bracelet. It was still in place, not a scratch on it. Harry scowled in determination as he slipped from the seat and picked up the knife.

He sat down and placed the knife against the bracelet, his hand shaking uncontrollably; unable to inflict that magnitude of pain on himself again. He grit his teeth and tried again and again to make his hand move, to cut the circlet free from his skin but he just couldn't do it, his hand wouldn't move an inch.

Harry wiped his brow with the back of his hand, the cool knife still clutched tightly in his sweaty fist, and then brought the blade back down to his waiting wrist. The tremors in his hand caused the blade to slip a little and scratch against his bare skin.

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he watched his skin redden where the knife had grazed him. He stared down at his wrist with wide eyes, a strange buzzing in his ears, filling his head as he stared with only one coherent thought in mind.

Harry took a deep breath and sliced the sharp blade across the soft skin of his wrist.

There was a slight burn and he watched as deep red blossomed out from the cut and flowed outwards in a warm wave of blood.

Harry swayed in his seat and put his hand out to steady himself but his arm simply collapsed beneath him and he fell forwards to the floor.

Lying on his back, Harry stared up at the shadowy ceiling. His vision started to blur at the edges and he thought of Draco as he was dragged willingly into unconsciousness.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered weakly before everything went black.

. . . .

Harry felt a strange sense of release flow over him as he flew through a sky of soft white light. He was weightless, as though surrounded by water, yet he knew he was in the air. It was warm and wonderful, with no coherent thoughts or memories to burden him. He didn't feel human, he felt like an otherworldly entity, much greater than human. He wasn't seeing with his eyes but sensed everything with his whole being.

Suddenly something wasn't right. He felt someone calling him back, coaxing this weightless soul that he had become backwards instead of moving forwards. The surrounding atmosphere suddenly cooled as he hesitated in his joyful flight.

It was a voice, a familiar voice that caused him to waver. He couldn't make out words only a beseeching tone full of pain and sadness.

Harry pushed onwards. Clear thoughts were beginning to return and he remembered that he wanted to escape pain and sadness. This journey he was on led to a place where he would be care-free…

"Harry… please….love…"

Distinct words were returning now. Someone was calling to him. Someone his heart couldn't ignore.

Harry stopped moving and remained suspended in mid-air for a moment before he was gently pulled backwards, then moving faster and faster, picking up speed as he was dragged away from the light…

. . . .

"…made the news again Harry. I don't think you've gone one year without making headlines mate. I think Malfoy's right about you; you do like being the centre of attention…"

Harry frowned as he slowly returned from an acute unconsciousness, a pressing weight filling his body and settling into every limb. He kept his eyes shut as his mind sluggishly caught up to the present. He didn't feel any pain but he knew he was alive. Had he been dreaming?

With the return of his cognizance came the return of his senses as well and the sharp smell of alcohol and disinfectant hit his nostrils hard. He was in the hospital.

"…but eventually Oliver got his game together and managed to stop them from getting completely slaughtered. I really think Warren is losing his touch…"

Words began to drift into Harry's ears and establish themselves in his mind. Slowly the words began to take shape and make sense, and the voice he finally placed was Ron Weasley's.

Suddenly it all came crashing back in a surge of guilt and anguish; all the emotions that he had been trying to escape returned with a vengeance. Draco and Lance and the mess he was in and the pain he had caused…

"Harry?"

Harry had unwittingly emitted a gasp of distress upon the return of so much overwhelming feeling.

"Harry, can you hear me?"

Harry wanted to keep his eyes closed forever. He didn't want to deal with reality; he wasn't supposed to be here. He refused to be drawn back.

"Harry, if you can hear me I'm going to get Malfoy. I'll be right back-"

Harry panicked and forced his heavy lids open, squinting blearily in the bright hospital light. "No…" he rasped anxiously. Everything was blurry and all the lights had a strange halo around them. He tried to search out his friend's face.

"Harry," Ron said with relief, standing just to his left. "You're going to be okay, mate."

Harry's eyes watered as the bright light stung his eyes.

"How do you feel?" Ron pressed, watching him.

Harry swallowed and blinked, squinting at Ron's familiar freckled face. He searched but could not find any trace of disgust or disappointment there. Perhaps he didn't know the truth.

"Malfoy's at home," Ron continued. "He was finally forced to eat and get some sleep."

Harry tried to speak and had to clear his throat a couple of time. "How long have I been here?" he finally asked; his voice gravelly and thick from disuse.

"Three days."

Harry's eyes widened.

"Yeah," Ron said, slowly sitting back down in the bedside chair. "The Mediwizards kept you in a coma for twenty-four hours so that your body could recover. Malfoy wouldn't leave your side," he added. "The git didn't eat or sleep for forty-eight hours."

"Why?" Harry asked with a frown.

"I think he blames himself." Ron shrugged. "He wouldn't really talk to anyone."

Harry closed his eyes. "This wasn't supposed to happen," he said more to himself than to Ron. "He wasn't supposed to suffer anymore because of me."

Ron fidgeted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "Harry, I know you've had a rough time of it but I don't think you understand. As much as this is really hard for me to say, Malfoy loves you, like, really loves you. If you had died I don't think it would've been long before he joined you."

Harry opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"He's not mad at you Harry," Ron persisted. "He's mad at himself."

"He should be mad at me," Harry countered roughly. "I cheated on him. Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah he did, but it wasn't cheating though was it?" Ron replied. "I mean, you didn't want to do it."

"That doesn't matter-"

"But it does matter," Ron cut in sharply. "It's not your fault that you were affected by your past. You weren't mentally prepared to function in the real world after leaving Knockturn Alley. You should've been in therapy to deal with what happened instead of trying to do everything on your own. You felt you weren't worthy of a normal life, let alone a great one, and this is the fallout from that; a warped sense of self-worth."

Harry just stared.

Ron smiled, discomfited. "Well, that's what Snape said anyhow."

"Snape?" Harry repeated in astonishment. "Was he here?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah, Malfoy went to see him after what happened to you and the slimy bastard came here to talk to the Mediwizard in charge. He was also the one who was finally able to force Malfoy to go home and take a break." Ron hesitated and chewed his lip for a moment. "There's also something else I need to talk to you about Harry."

Harry swallowed, not liking the way Ron was avoiding his gaze and shifting in his seat. "What is it?"

"Snape thought it would be best if it were to come from me," Ron replied. "They uh… did a full medical check when Malfoy brought you in and erm…. found something unexpected."

"Cancer?" Harry asked evenly, thinking that that would be so ironic.

Ron's head jerked up in surprise. "No," he laughed uneasily. "Nothing like that."

Harry looked at him, wanting him to just get to the bloody point.

Ron took a deep breath and exhaled, looking at his hands as they twisted anxiously in his lap. "I don't know how to tell you this Harry but… you're pregnant."

Harry's first reaction was to laugh. "What?" he finally managed.

Ron merely nodded in affirmation.

"You have to be kidding," Harry said, still grinning in amusement. "That's not possible."

"It is possible."

"But… it's not," Harry persisted, his smile fading. "I thought it was only possible for men to fall pregnant if they took a specific male fertility potion? I can assure you that I have not been dabbling in fertility potions Ron."

Ron smiled a little. "Turns out you were taking a fertility potion without knowing it."

"What?" Harry said nervously.

Ron sighed and glanced at the closed door to Harry's private room before continuing. "The potion Snape created for your eyesight had a few key ingredients that when mixed had the same effect as the fertility potion, only not as potent. If you take the true fertility potion then it is guaranteed that you will get pregnant on the first night, with the potion you were taking, it wasn't a guarantee - but also not completely out of the question either. You got lucky," he added with an awkward grin.

Harry found he couldn't form a complete sentence, he just stared in shock.

"And Snape didn't know," Ron hastened to add. "Malfoy apparently told him that you two weren't going to be…er, intimate for quite some time, so he didn't even mention it because he didn't think it was going to be an issue."

Harry swallowed, trying to absorb everything as rationally as he could. "Does Draco know?" he finally asked.

Ron shook his head. "No, Snape and I are the only ones that know. We thought it best if you found out first and could then decide what you wanted to do."

"Do?"

"Yeah, whether you wanted to keep the baby or not," Ron paused, "in case it isn't Malfoy's."

And then it hit Harry like a punch to the gut; this baby growing inside of him might be Lance's and not Draco's. He hadn't even thought of that.

"They can do a really simple DNA test if you want," Ron said quickly, seeing the devastation on his friend's face. "It only takes a few minutes and Malfoy need never know."

Harry swallowed and looked down at his stomach, covered by the thin white hospital sheet. He couldn't believe that he was pregnant and had had no idea. He suddenly remembered all those mornings of feeling nauseous, the random mood swings and the too tight clothes. It all made perfect sense now.

He hesitantly placed his right hand on his abdomen with wonder. There was a tiny life in there.

Ron couldn't help but smile at Harry's curious expression. He secretly hoped Harry would keep the baby; he would make a fantastic father.

Harry stared in awe, trying to picture what the baby would look like. "How long have I been pregnant?" he asked Ron without looking up.

"Not long," he replied. "I think about eight weeks."

Harry could feel himself becoming attached to this tiny being within him. He'd only just found out but he already had an overwhelming sense of protectiveness for it. He knew then that he couldn't terminate the pregnancy, regardless of whether the baby was Lance's or Draco's, it wasn't the baby's fault. It was an innocent in all this.

He was going to be a father.

An elated smile stretched across his face and lit his eyes. He looked up at Ron. "I'm going to keep it."

Ron smiled, trying not to look too excited. "You can think about it Harry, you don't have to decide right now."

Harry just smiled and looked back down, observing the slight swell of his abdomen that he hadn't taken notice of before. "I just thought I was getting fat," he joked, causing Ron to chuckle.

Harry looked up sharply, remembering something. "I didn't… I didn't hurt the baby did I?"

Ron shook his head. "Nah, the Mediwizard said babies are pretty resilient things. They checked the baby's health and everything is fine. Just take care of yourself from now on."

Harry leaned back against the pillows with a sigh, his gaze travelling back down to his stomach. "I've been so stupid," he said quietly.

"You had us all pretty scared," Ron said.

"I'm sorry Ron," Harry said, looking up at his friend. "I've been really selfish, haven't I?"

Ron waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, I'm just glad you're alright. Just don't do it again, okay? This kid needs you."

Harry smiled a little, happy that he'd reconnected with his old schoolmate. He was a good friend to have.

"I need to talk to Draco," Harry said with resolve. "I'm going to tell him about the baby, about everything. No more lies."

Ron nodded with a smile, getting to his feet. "I'll get him. Did you want the DNA test before talking to him?"

Harry shook his head. "Nah, it won't change anything." His smile faltered a little. "Hopefully Draco can accept the baby regardless of who the other father is."

"I don't think he's going to care about anything other than the fact that you're alive and well Harry," Ron said honestly. "You should have seen him… My opinion of Malfoy has changed one hundred percent since meeting him again. It kills me to say it but, he's a good man Harry."

Harry smiled. "I know."

Ron returned the smile before turning and heading out of the room.

Harry settled back with a sigh, eyes once more sliding back to his little "bump." He wondered if it was a boy or a girl, and which one he wanted more. He wondered what to name it, if the baby would have dark hair or blond. He wondered if he would make a good father, he wanted to be a good father.

Try as he might, he couldn't help but hope that the baby was Draco's. He knew he would love it either way but he wanted the child to be a mix of Potter and Malfoy.

Harry glanced over to see a red help button. He chewed his lip thoughtfully for a moment before reaching over and pressing it. A nurse appeared within seconds.

"What can I help you with Mr. Potter?" he asked with a smile.

"Erm, could I speak to the Mediwizard who has been looking after me?" Harry asked, not wanting the pregnancy news to travel any further then it had to.

"Of course," the nurse replied with a nod. "She's just at the front desk, I'll grab her before she leaves."

"Thanks." Harry smiled softly. How quickly he'd changed his entire perspective; he didn't matter anymore, now he had a huge responsibility to another little being.

"Mr. Potter, it's good to see you awake."

Harry looked up to see a short plump woman walk through the door dressed in white medical robes. "Thanks," he said.

She walked over to his bedside and waved her wand over him once to check his vitals. "What can I help you with?"

"Ron told me," he replied, fidgeting slightly. "About the baby."

The Mediwizard paused in what she was doing to glance down at him. "And was it good news?" she asked shrewdly.

"Yeah, it was – after I got over the shock," Harry answered honestly. "I was wondering if you could perhaps do that DNA test before my partner gets here?"

The Mediwizard waved away the floating notations that she had been working with. "Of course, I'll do it now." She lifted her wand and began some sort of complicated waving pattern. "It won't tell me the specific wizard but it will tell me the lineage. So if it's between two brothers then I won't be able to pinpoint it," she explained as she worked.

"That's fine, they're not related." Harry waited, too nervous to be embarrassed about not knowing who the father was. He held his breath as she completed the sequence and strange foreign writing appeared.

The Mediwizard assessed the writing then looked down at him. "The lineage is Malfoy."

Harry expelled the breath he'd been holding with relief, a smile making its way onto his face.

"I take it that's welcome news?"

"Yes." Harry smiled, glancing back down at his stomach. "That's very good news."

The Mediwizard dismissed the magical script. "I'd like to keep you here another day to ensure that you're stable and to get some more nutrients into you before you leave. I'll send you home with some prenatal vitamins too which will have to be taken daily."

Harry nodded.

"Did you have any questions?" she asked. "I can give you a referral for a great midwife in your area if you like."

"Yes please," Harry accepted gratefully. "I don't know anything about pregnancy or babies."

"It's okay, you have time," she said, amused by the growing alarm on Harry's face. "Nobody knows what they're doing the first time. You'll be fine. I've met your partner and he seems a very capable young man."

Harry met her kind gaze and felt a little better. "Yeah, he is."

"Well, I'll leave you to rest, and to absorb all this information." The Mediwizard excused herself and exited the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

Harry leaned back into the soft pillows with a sigh. He gently stroked one hand over his abdomen as he got lost in thought.

There were so many things to consider; what the baby's first name was going to be, what the baby's last name was going to be, how to decorate the baby's room, what they would need to buy, who they should tell, if it turns out to be a girl, how on earth do two men raise a little girl?

There was a sudden knock on the door and Harry swallowed as the door swung open and Draco stepped in.