Hey guys! So this is a new story of mine! I knowwwwww I have to update the Spy and all but ughhh no inspiration! Anyways, without further ado, I present to you the hilarious:
THE GODS AS HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS
Math class:
Hades: Hello class. Today we will review the Pythagoras theorem… Open up on page 201… NO PLEASE DON'T TELL ME CERBERUS ATE IT AGAIN! *grabs Cerberus* I told you A HUNDRED OF TIMES not to eat student's books… Gosh…
English Class:
Athena: Hello everybody! ...
Everybody: *Dancing and partying like there is no tomorrow*
Athena: Class… Class! CLASS! *SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS*
Class: *Stops* …. *Looks at her* ….
Athena: *Swats a fly that was happily flying without even looking at it* I think I said hello and calm down…
Class: H-h-e-e-l-lo T-t-teacher…
Athena: Good. *smiling evilly* let's begin…
Drama class:
Zeus: THE SUN IS SHINING AND THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AND THE EARTH IS ALIVE… AND I AM HERE! HELLO CLASS…!
Class: *Stares at the weirdo who just got into the room*
Zeus: *Glaring* Well, do something!
Class: *claps awkwardly*
Zeus: I deserve SO MUCH BETTER! *Storms out of the room in a over-dramatic way*
Random boy: …. Let's just call McDonalds… I need a Big Mac…
Random girl: Yeah… After such a scene, I need food…
PE class:
Ares: Come on wimps! DO ME 100 SIT-UPS! AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!
Class *doing ten sit-ups then fainting*
Ares: *kicks students' heads around for fun* WAKE UP WIMPS! THIS AIN'T NAP TIME!
Class: *dies*
Ares: I DON'T FREAKING CARE *KICKS MORE BODIES* WAKE UP! AND DO ME 1000 SIT-UPS THEN!
Class: *Dies, then re-dies, then re-re-dies*
Ares: I SAID WAKE UP!
And it continues to infinity… And beyond…
Music Class:
Apollo: We are in music class
And I am the teacher
Yes I am this awesome
Class: … *Awkward silence*
Random boy: Ummm… professor… It is music class… Not poetry…
Apollo: Those aren't poems boy *snarls and glares* those are haikus.
Boy: …. Um, yeah, yeah. Sure…
Apollo: *Takes guitar* Okay then, let's get musical… *clears throat and starts strumming slowly*
I am playing guitar
And saying haikus
And I am still awesome
Class: *Faceplams* He is a hopeless cause…
French class:
Aphrodite: Bonjour chers élèves.
Class: Banjoor madomu.
Aphrodite: No! No! It is Bonjour Madame.
Class: *pronounce it more wrong than the first time*
Aphrodite: NO!Bonjour Madame!
Class: *Stares blankly at her*
Aphrodite: You are even more hopeless than Apollo…
The cafeteria:
Hestia: *being the cafeteria person and serving some food to students*
The Cafeteria Lady: Ummm… Hestia…? Why are you doing my job…? I thought you were the health teacher or something like that….
Hestia: *stops, stares at her then continues like nothing happened* … *Looks at some student* Oh dear! Why are you so thin darling? Here, *serves a huge quantity of food and meat* eat this.
Student: But-
Hestia: No buts. Eat.
Student: *eats slowly like she was about to puke*
Hestia: YOU DON'T LIKE MY FOOD?!
Student: Miss… I'm a vegetarian...
Biology class:
Demeter: Okay class. Today, we are going to discuss the human reproduction.
Class: *pales and looks at her like she has gone nuts, which she probably has*
Demeter: What? *casts confused looks to students*
Class: … *Stares even more strangely*
Demeter: Okay… We will begin with a…. *Drums on table for more dramatic effects* VIDEO!
Class: *faints*
Oceanography class:
Poseidon: Today guys, we will be dissecting fish, so we will withdraw the internal organs and study them
Class: *pales* Sir… Can't we see the organs on laptops or something?
Poseidon: Yes, we can. But where is the fun in that?! *laughs maniacally*
Class: *takes fish reluctantly* … *trying to push the scalpel into the poor fish*
Some girl: NO! I JST CAN'T!
Poseidon: Okay well. You get a zero and get out of my class
Her boyfriend: If that's the case, then I'm leaving too.
The rest of the class: *gets up* BYE SUCKER! *leaves*
Poseidon: Okay den *naps peacefully while doing weird whale sounds*
Spanish class:
Hera: Hola estudiantes! (Hello students!)
Students: …
Hera: Oh come on! We have been practicing this sentence together since the beginning of the year and you still don't understand it?!
Students: *muttering*Nonne similis nunc Latine?! (Didn't we have like Latin right now…?!)
Hera: C'mon open your books
A boy: But ma'am. We have Latin right now. And we don't even learn Spanish anymore…
Hera: *Realizes that she walked into a higher class by mistake* Oh ummm… Sooo… paenitet hahaha... I think…. *Leaves while doing summersaults-hula-triple-jumps in mid-air* (jk jk) *leaves while riding a unicorn into the sunset* (much better in the context of the story don't you think so?)
Astronomy class:
Artemis: Today, we are going to learn a little more about… THE MOON! *TA-DAM sounds echoing in the background*
Student: But miss… We studied the moon last week. And the week before it too. And before, re-before, re-re-before… etc.
Artemis: *Glares* enough knowledge on the moon is never enough!
Girl: *hasn't been listening to anything in class so don't know anything about the moon* *flips hair and curls it around her finger* But Missssssssss, *whiny voice* isn't the moon, like, made of cheese, like super yummy yummy?
Artemis: *All gangstah ((If you don't understand this, then go read my other story, Thalico. Srsly tho you have never lived if you haven't understood this reference XD)) and trying to tear girl's head off* WHAT DID YA JUST SAYYYYYY GURLLLL! IMMA CALLIN' MAH SISTAHHH IMMA WARNIN' YAAAA!
Then the whole class had to restrain Artemis from killing that girl.
Physics class:
Hermes: *talking really fast like usual* so class, speed is our subject today.
Class: *Thinking* what da f*ck did he just say…..?!
Hermes: *finishes explaining the whole lesson in about a minute* *talking super fast* Sooo have you understood the lesson? *didn't give time to students to answer* Good! SURPRISE TEST YIPPPEEE!
Boy: *had enough with weird teachers today* OKAY! I F*CKING HAD ENOUGH OF ALL OF YOU! I'M F*CKING OUTTA HERE! *leaves with the whole class behind him*
Hera: Okay guys mission accomplished. *Grinning* Man, we scared them for life!
Artemis: *laughing* Absolutely! So what will we do tomorrow? Be cooks? Lawyers? Maybe even royals!
Poseidon: Hahaha yes! I like this new law of yours Zeus! *Does wild gestures with his hands* 'Scaring mortals on a daily basis' *grins evilly* I like the sound of it!
Athena: *having her class also ditching, so she came with all of the gods* I think we did well today.
Zeus: What do you mean? Ruin their lives or having some fun?
Athena: *smiling* Both!
Sooooooooooo WHAT DO YOU THINK GUYS!? IT IS LONG AND FUNNY! HOPE YOU LIKE IT! Oh and don't forget to leave some reviews :P Love y'all! BYE! Oh and thanks Tina for giving me this awesome idea!