16. And Then I See You Standing There, Wanting More From Me

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Harry swallowed as the door swung open and Draco stepped in; grey eyes drinking in the sight of him as though he were drowning.

Harry's heart instantly ached at the sight of him. "I'm so sorry Draco," he said, the words pouring forth without a second thought.

Draco was at Harry's bedside and into his arms in an instant. Draco held him in a crushing embrace, blond head buried in Harry's neck, inhaling his scent reassuringly, tears leaking from his eyes and sliding down pale cheeks.

Harry couldn't help the sob that escaped his lips as he held fast to his lover. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…." he kept repeating over and over again.

Draco just shook his head, unable to respond, body shaking in Harry's arms as he cried. Harry had never seen him like that before and it made him feel that much more ashamed of his selfish actions.

"I won't ever leave you again," Harry vowed. "I promise. I love you Draco. I love you."

Draco pulled back, one hand behind Harry's neck, keeping him close as he stared intently into remorseful green eyes. "I love you too, you goose. You're my world Harry Potter, I can't live without you."

Harry stroked a hand down Draco's cheek, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the pale pallor of his face. "I will make it up to you, I promise," Harry said. "No more lies."

Draco nodded. "No more lies," he agreed ardently.

Harry shuffled back a little and held open the blanket for Draco to crawl under. Draco immediately climbed in and they lay side by side, staring into each other's eyes and finding comfort in the other's presence.

"How did you find me at the Shrieking Shack?" Harry finally asked, breaking the silence.

Draco swallowed but held his gaze. "It was the Grevillea magic; I always know when you're in pain."

Harry opened his mouth to apologize but Draco just shook his head.

"No more apologies Harry," he said then continued, "I knew you were in pain but it only lasted a few minutes and then it stopped. I was in Snape's office and I was trying to figure out where to look for you when all of sudden it was as though I'd touched a Portkey. I was grabbed out of nowhere and appeared at your side in the Shrieking Shack. It seems if your life is in danger then I just instantly appear at your side, thank Merlin, though I never want to see you like that again."

Harry just continued to stroke Draco's cheek and hair, hoping to erase the bad memories with his touch.

Draco watched him closely. "Are you…. Are you alright now Harry? I want you to tell me everything, no matter what it is or if you think it will hurt me. All I want is the truth."

Harry smiled sadly. "I think I will be. I feel like such an idiot but I thought…" he paused then pushed on. "I thought that maybe after what I'd done that you didn't want me anymore, that you were disgusted with me."

Draco's eyes closed momentarily. "That's my fault, I should have explained before just rushing off and leaving you. It wasn't that I was disgusted with what you'd done Harry; it was that I felt responsible. I felt responsible for him hurting you, for him touching you against your will. I should've pushed when I knew you weren't yourself, I knew something was going on but I just left you alone."

Harry shook his head. "I should've just told you the truth from the beginning."

Draco smiled tenderly. "We'll just move forward, okay? This relationship is still a work in progress."

Harry chuckled then sobered, wondering how Draco was going to take the baby news. He didn't even know if Draco wanted to be a father. They hadn't even had a chance to have a normal relationship yet and now there was already a baby to deal with.

"Harry, how did it even start?" Draco asked, bringing Harry back to the present. "When did Lance approach you?"

Harry didn't want to think about it, didn't want to talk about it, but if Draco needed to hear how it happened then he would comply. "He showed up after quidditch practice one day at the stadium, ambushed me in the change rooms."

Draco's gaze darkened with anger but he remained silent.

"He said that he knew me from Borgin and Burkes and that he missed me." Harry swallowed, feeling disgusted all over again at how trapped he'd felt at the time. "Then he said that if I didn't agree to see him every once in a while that you would pay for it. It made so much sense at the time and I felt like I had no other choice or risk losing everything you'd worked for… So I agreed and it started from there."

Draco hesitated, looking as though he didn't really want to ask the next question. "Did he… hurt you every time Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "No, he was mental and kept saying that he loved me but he never hurt me until the night of the party. Actually, a few days before the party he was a bit rough but not like that; he was only furious that night because I told him that our arrangement was over."

"I'm glad you did," Draco said fervently. "I never would have found out otherwise. I just wish that I'd gotten there sooner. I came upstairs looking for you and I heard you screaming from down the hall. When I got to the door all I saw was him on top of you… I've never felt so enraged."

"My hero." Harry smiled fondly, stroking Draco's cheek, hoping to soothe the anger from those darkened grey eyes.

Draco blinked and returned the smile, catching Harry's hand and holding it. "I brought you something."

Harry watched as Draco sat up a little and removed something from his pocket before lying back down next to him.

"I hope you'll take this back."

Harry looked down at his engagement ring in Draco's upturned palm. Harry smiled as he picked up the shining ring but hesitated before slipping it on his finger. He met Draco's questioning gaze. "There's just something I have to tell you before I put this on and accept your proposal. Again."

"What is it?"

"I don't really know how to say this so I'll just say it." Harry took a deep breath and released it. "I'm pregnant Draco."

Harry heard the sudden intake of breath as Draco's eyes widened to an impossible size. He would have laughed if the situation weren't so critical.

"How…?" Draco managed to ask in a choked voice.

"Apparently Snape's miracle potion for my eyesight had some miracle side-effects as well. And before you ask," Harry rushed on, "it's your baby Draco, yours and mine."

"I… I don't know what to say," Draco uttered haltingly. "I've never thought about having children before…"

Harry nodded, trying not to look too worried or disappointed in the lack of joy in Draco's expression. He had to remember that he hadn't been thrilled at first either.

Draco glanced up and caught Harry's expression. "I'm not saying that I don't want children Harry, I just… need time to adjust."

Harry smiled, cursing the fact that he could never hide his emotions. "It's okay; I didn't believe it at first either."

Draco was silent for a moment, then, "do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"No, not yet." Harry hesitated. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes, then we can prepare for it," Draco replied matter-of-factly.

Harry smiled. "So…you want to keep it?"

Draco looked at him slightly horrified. "Harry, of course I want to keep it. This child is a part of the both of us, he or she is going to be so powerful, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous!"

Harry laughed; feeling utterly relieved.

"It was never a question of keeping the baby Harry, especially when it was written all over your face what you wanted to do," Draco said with a smirk. "I just hadn't thought about it before. We've never discussed children."

"I know," Harry said. "I'd never thought about it either, but now that it's a reality I find that I really want it. I really want to be a father and have a child with you. Maybe more."

Draco cleared his throat. "Uh… let's just get through this one first, shall we?" he said nervously. "I don't know the first thing about babies or children."

"You know how to make them," Harry replied coyly, hoping to distract the blond and ward off any potential panic attacks.

Draco's expression instantly changed as grey eyes flicked to Harry's mouth and back, the sudden arousal very evident. "You're not well enough," he reasoned, trying not to jump his partner right there and then. All the intense emotions from the last few days were suddenly cumulating into one big surge of overprotective stimulation. With very little encouragement from Harry, he suddenly needed to possess his lover. Badly.

Harry smiled brazenly as he hooked one leg around Draco and pulled him over on top of him.

Draco let out a hushed moan as he settled between Harry's legs. He quickly put all of his weight on his arms on either side of his shameless partner and looked down into Harry's teasing face. "Gods Harry, you're a bad influence," he breathed out.

Harry smiled as he pulled Draco down for a kiss. The two met in a heated exchange of lips and tongues, exploring and arousing just as much as they were reassuring each other of the other's physical presence. Harry sunk his fingers into Draco's silky blond hair, fisting his hands around the soft strands and anchoring himself as the Slytherin devoured his mouth with hungry moans and breathy gasps of want and need.

Harry suddenly broke from the kiss with a gasp, feeling slightly dizzy.

Draco eyed him a moment before sliding off to the side and lying beside him once more. "I knew you weren't up for that Potter," he drawled.

Harry laughed breathlessly and nodded. "Yeah, I guess not," he admitted.

"I can wait," Draco said as he tenderly stroked Harry's dark hair back from his forehead. "I just want to get you home again."

"One more day," Harry said, linking their fingers together with a sigh.

Draco stared thoughtfully at their entwined fingers. "So… I was talking to Severus and he thinks it would be best if you saw someone for a while, until you get a handle on your new life."

"Someone… like a psychiatrist?" Harry asked with trepidation.

Draco nodded. "Just to help you adjust and perhaps return some of that Gryffindor confidence that you used to possess in spades."

Harry sighed and nodded reluctantly. "Yeah alright," he acquiesced. "I suppose I could use some help. I'm such a mess, aren't I?" he said, looking at Draco with a small smile but the blond could see the sadness in those green eyes.

Draco squeezed his hand reassuringly. "No you're not; you've just been through a lot. Lesser men would have crumbled by now Harry, but you're still here."

"Just," Harry reminded him bleakly

"I wasn't going to let you go anywhere," Draco chided, trying to lighten the mood.

"You saved both of us," Harry said with a watery smile, right hand moving down to his abdomen.

"No more tears," Draco admonished gently as he slipped his own hand down to cover Harry's. "What will this baby think of his famously strong father crying all the time?"

Harry laughed and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. "Good point. All these pregnancy hormones are playing havoc with my emotions."

"Sure they are," Draco teased.

Harry shoved him playfully and noticed for the first time that his arm was fully healed. The healers must have repaired the broken bone while he was unconscious. He wondered what else had happened while he was out of it.

"What happened to Lance?" he asked, sobering.

Draco grinned wickedly. "That bastard is being charged with attempted rape. He's already been relieved of his position as head of his own PR firm. I've heard he's already been replaced as well. He should be sentenced soon and sent to Azkaban within the week."

"Wow," Harry replied, not sure what to make of it, part of him thought it was a bit harsh but another part of him just had to remember the manic look in Lance's eyes the night of the party. He really was going to rape him. "Did… did anyone find out about all the other times? The consensual times?"

"Lance's lawyer tried to play that angle but it doesn't matter if you and he have been sleeping together for years, rape is still rape and it only takes one time for anyone to be convicted, as long as there is irrefutable evidence, which, thanks to me, they have from my pensieve memories; the whole scene with you telling him no and him physically assaulting you."

Harry flushed. "That's embarrassing," he said. "How many people saw that? Was it in the newspaper?" he asked, eyes widening in horror.

"No, love," Draco comforted. "Only the people that needed to see it saw it. It hasn't been released what happened, just that you were attacked in our home and sent to hospital. I don't even know how they found that much out."

Harry breathed out with relief.

"They may want a statement from you at some point but I've told them that under no circumstances are they allowed to bother you here."

Harry smiled. "Thanks," he said gratefully, not feeling up to any Auror interrogations just yet. He covered a yawn with his hand and could feel his eyes drooping dangerously.

Draco smiled as he lay his head down on the pillow next to Harry and gathered him into his arms. "Go to sleep love, I'll watch over you."

Harry smiled sleepily as he allowed his eyes to drift closed. He tucked in as close to Draco's warm side as he could manage, head resting on Draco's shoulder and left arm wrapped around his chest.

Draco remained awake long after Harry had fallen asleep, contemplating their future together with the tiny addition growing safely in Harry's belly. He already felt an overwhelming protectiveness for his fiancé, but now the strength of that engulfing compulsion seemed to have doubled. He knew that he would do anything for his little family. The thought made him smile as he too finally drifted off into some much needed sleep.

. . . .

"I know you like the blue one Harry but no beautiful daughter of mine is going to be mistaken for a boy," Draco said flatly.

Harry pretended to pout as he placed the tiny blue jumper back on the rack. He walked past the rest of the boy's racks and headed for the girl's section, trying to maneuver around the crowded shop with his rather large belly.

Draco followed along behind, trying not to snicker at how ungraceful his lover was, now in his seventh month of pregnancy.

"This is overwhelming," Harry stated once they'd arrived amongst the endless rows of fluffy tulle and pink bows of the newborn baby girl area.

Draco smirked and kissed Harry on the cheek, causing a few smiles from nearby shoppers. The locals were now used to seeing the famous couple in their town and though they liked to watch them interact they always left them alone.

"Leave this to me Potter," he said, looking around the array of clothes with excitement lighting his grey eyes.

Harry snorted. "Merlin, you are so gay Malfoy."

Draco laughed as he led Harry over to an overstuffed armchair and helped him down into it. "Just take a seat Harry and I'll be back when I'm finished."

"Fine," Harry agreed, happy to be off of his aching feet. He hated being pregnant; he felt unbalanced, fat, slow and unattractive. He watched Draco making his way easily through the racks of clothes with a loving smile, the Slytherin had said that he thought Harry was even more attractive now and, though Harry didn't believe him for a second, their love life hadn't suffered at all. If anything, Draco was even more insatiable.

Harry spied a nearby area with bins full of cute stuffed animals. He pushed himself to his feet and wandered over to them to have a look.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up at the voice and blinked in surprise. "Hermione?"

Hermione Granger smiled shyly and waved, one hand holding tight to a brown and white stuffed bunny. "How are you Harry?"

Harry swallowed, feeling thrown. "Uh I'm good," he replied hesitantly. "Besides being horribly pregnant."

Hermione giggled nervously. "Me too, although I'm only six weeks."

"Wow, er congratulations," Harry said, forcing a smile. He glanced around for Draco but couldn't see him nearby.

Hermione took a step closer. "Look Harry, I… I've been talking to Ron and I know you have a lot going on right now, but I was hoping that maybe we could try to connect again?"

Harry chewed his lip, trying to figure out how he really felt about it. It did feel slightly overwhelming but… having Ron back in his life had turned out to be a blessing, so perhaps…

"You don't have to decide right now," she hastened to add, seeing Harry's hesitance. "Just think about it okay?"

Harry nearly sighed with relief as he felt a familiar arm slip around his waist and hold him close.

"Hello Malfoy," Hermione greeted politely. Harry's pregnancy and his wedding had been in all the papers so none of it was a shock to her, though it was still strange to see Harry and Malfoy together in person. She thought it an odd pairing and only hoped that Malfoy was sincere in his intentions.

"Granger." Draco nodded formally. "You okay love?" he asked, turning to Harry.

Harry nodded, reassuring his worried lover. The blond had been extra protective ever since his stint in the hospital. "Just a bit tired," he said.

"I'll go now Harry," Hermione said, glancing between the two of them. "But think about it okay?"

With one last smile she walked away.

"What took you so long?" Harry muttered as he watched Hermione walk away, same long curly hair bouncing behind her.

Draco smirked. "I was busy."

Harry turned to give him his full attention. "Okay, what did you pick out?" he asked with a smile, glancing at Draco's empty hands.

"It's being delivered," Draco replied mysteriously. "Did you want any of these?" he asked, looking at the stuffed animals behind Harry.

"No, let's go home."

Draco smiled and held fast to Harry's hand as they made their way out of the shop and back out onto the icy footpath, twinkling Christmas lights illuminating their way home through the festive town streets.

"What did you order?" Harry demanded as they strolled along.

Draco chuckled. "Just a few things to get us started my love."

Harry narrowed his eyes at him. "You ordered everything they had didn't you?"

"Not everything," Draco replied evasively.

Harry rolled his eyes, half exasperated and half amused. "This kid is going to be so spoiled. You're going to make our child into a spoilt brat Draco."

Draco smiled. "That's the Malfoy way Harry."

Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Yes and look how you turned out."

Draco laughed with him, their breath puffing out in misty clouds in the cold air. "I love you," Draco said, looking down at his glowing fiancé. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you and our growing family."

Harry stopped and turned on the footpath to look at him. "Me too," he replied, feeling lighter than air.

Draco leaned down to kiss those tempting too soft lips. "Come on Harry," he said huskily, taking his hand again. "Let's go home."

Harry smiled with contentment as he walked beside Draco; one hand on his swollen abdomen and the other firmly clasped in Draco's warm hand.

* There is a short epilogue still to come…