To Comfort

Cynthia

I heard screams; they cut through the walls, muffled but unquestionably there. I would lie in my bed and they would break into my sleep till I could do nothing but curl up and press a pillow to my head. It never helped.

In this room I didn't have to pretend anymore. I never got any visitors, the house elves brought me my food everyday and in them I got small amounts of company. My husband hadn't come once and though I knew this was a good thing it still tore into my heart. In this room the cold mask fell to the floor uselessly and I found that without it I was helpless to my own thoughts.

It was the screams that got to me though. They came every now and then, usually in night but sometimes during the day. Each time they came I was forced into memories of my own children's screams. I would collapse where I stood without fail every time. Even when they were gone they echoed in my ears, a constant drilling.

I didn't know why they were here but I had glanced out of the windows enough to see black draped figures entering my house. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. That my husband had refrained from turning our home into some sort of command centre before I turned rebel was a small consolation. Though, it was a moot point now.

I wondered who they were. I wondered what happened to them once the screams stopped. I wondered if I would ever escape.

I was lucky to be alive.

"Would Mistress like to take her lunch in here or the parlour?" A house elf said, breaking into my thoughts.

I looked down at the little creature. This one was called Mimi; I had learnt their names, finally. One did when they were your only companions. I used to hate the annoying little things, they were nothing, nothing, compared to me - they were slaves, nothing more. I was a Rosier, pure blood, dignified. It didn't matter now though. I had learnt in these few weeks another thing that was wrong with my principles. I had never really considered that these little creatures could be so compassionate; they really did have feeling, would you believe it?

"No, no, Mimi. I'll come to the parlour" I said rising from my seat and straightening my shirts. Just because I was a prisoner in my own home doesn't mean any of my other more realistic standards have slipped; I still dressed as a lady should thank you very much.

The house elf grinned at me... they did that a lot now, not because they were happy with my predicament but they seemed to be overjoyed that I no longer treated them like filth. They were irresistible comfort to me now and I thought that if it were not for their rather quirky attitude I may have slipped into a dark stupor of depression.

James

"You know Alex told me the other day how his family, the Grey family that is, believe that the stars are like their ancestors. I mean, I don't really get it, but that they believe they are the souls of all his predecessors and also everyone who is to come. He said that he believes that it is the same for everyone else, as if through each individual's eyes their family is up there... He said that when he looked up into the night sky he always feels comforted, knowing that he's being watched... I never really understood it... I do think, though, that although... although you can't speak to... them... that they are watching over you. Do you understand? I feel like I'm talking nonsense, I'll shut up now..." I trailed off.

I felt like an idiot now, sitting here ranting off the same old comforting word. 'They are still watching over you' 'they're still here in your heart'... how many people have said these same clichéd lines? I felt stupid for bringing it up.

"No... It's fine... I still can't believe that... that they are really gone. I guess it's not really that they are gone... just that I'm not going to see them again apart from in my memories..." I looked across at her and saw her face in deep contemplation with melancholy eyes looking straight ahead.

We were sitting under a tree by the side of the lake. It was a dreary day, cold and uncomfortable, but she didn't seem to care. It worried me though – she was only wearing a simple cotton shirt under her robes. She sat about a meter from me, her arms wrapped around her knees which were tucked into her chest. Her vibrant red hair was in a messy bun at the back of her head and I thought that she had never looked so neglected. Her cheeks missed their gentle blush and her eyes looked exhausted. It made me want to pull her into my arms seeing her so. She was still beautiful, she could never stop being beautiful, but I wished I could see her smile for me.

I shook my head. It was just a wonder that I was actually sitting here without her hexing me to June. Then again, I hadn't asked her out... that was meant to help. It would be beyond stupid to do that now, that sort of thing was meant to annoy her into saying yes. A stupid plan I know but well... I could be a bit moronic when the alternative was being serious...

The silence dragged on and I became acutely aware of every movement she made. I saw the slow movement of her breathing, the escaped strands of hair wiggling in the wind, her occasional blinks. I saw the light freckles on her nose and the way she absently moved her forefinger in circles around her knuckle. Her green eyes, almond shaped. She slightly parted her pink lips and I saw the hint of her white teeth.

I hadn't said a word, nor had she. I didn't mind though. Sure I wished she'd look at me, say something to show she knew I was there but I would take what I got.

Severus

I was carrying an excessive amount of books when found myself tripping over the fraying edge of my robes. Usually I would never make myself so helpless, unable to even reach my wand, but I figured Potter and Black were too focused on impressing their respective girls. I snorted. Who knew Black would turn out to be gay, well it served as good insult fodder should it come to that – which it would. As for Potter, well, I couldn't wait to loudly say 'I told you so' next time I saw Lily. Not that I'd think of taunting her now of all times. The death of her parents would do nothing for my cause, predictably.

Nor would the new imprinted mark on my arm but I figured I was already out of her redemption as it was. We were too separated in the society matter anyway...

Anyway. I was carrying a lot of books, all stacked up in my arms like a wobbling tower, really I should have know something would go wrong. It was those robes, I hadn't got round to repairing them and there was an edge which was dragging along the floor in front on my feet, just begging to be stepped on. Needless to say, I went flying and the books fled far and wide – at least these ones didn't actually have legs to flee on...

I was just picking myself up when I heard footsteps coming closer and I did what any Slytherin did and grabbed my wand.

"Wow! Easy, I'm not going to do anything" A female voice said which I instantly recognised due to the faint German accent. It did little to loosen my hold on my wand. She was a friend of Potter and Black; hell her brother was dating one of them and she herself was dating the werewolf. It said little for her.

I watched her as she approached, waiting for signs of drawing her wand. Her weird silver hair was loose around her and her face, still scarred horrifically, seemed innocent. I had a little respect for this particular Gryffindor, she had out witted Irvine twice since getting here and I had seen briefly what she'd done to his arm, sharing a dorm with him. I could sort of respect someone like her, not that I'd ever say it.

She reached down and begun to pick up my books, to my chagrin.

"Hey, you – I can pick them up myself" I said rudely and she straightened looking affronted.

"I'm just helping. I saw you fall and thought you might need some help" I narrowed my eyes at her. She might be a pretty face (under that scar) but no way was I going to trust her. She was probably working for those two dunderheads.

"Well I don't, not from you or anyone else, especially not a Gryffindor blood-traitor" At my words I saw her eyes fill with stubbornness but surprisingly very little annoyance. I was surprised she didn't take offence to my jibe after all usually any slight insult would have a Gryffindor jumping up snarling like the arrogant Lions they were. The stubbornness though, that was all Gryffindor.

"Well that's stupid if you ask me" she said with a matter of fact tone. I bit back the replied that I hadn't asked for her opinion.

She drew her wand (I raised mine in defence to her apparent amusement) which was slender and made of a silvery wood and waved it over the corridor. I watched as all my books rose into the air and neatly settled back into a single pile which then hovered in front of me. I narrowed my eyes at her in irritation. I could have done that.

"What's your problem?" I said in irritation, she ignored me with a roll of her eyes.

"Now then, that wasn't very hard was it? Your welcome by the way, I shall assume that you were just about to thank me, might as well. And as for your other comment... well, when you meet my father you might rethink the traitor part because to be honest he didn't give us much choice. Goodbye Severus Snape, nice meeting you" and with that she walked away with a sweep of her hair.

I blinked.

It was a very weird experience. Checks had confirmed that there wasn't a single spell lingering on my hovering books. I was left to puzzle over the words and reactions of Larissa Grey. I thought about asking Irvine but the boy hated the Grey twins and just mentioning her name would not be sensible.

Lara

I didn't know quite what to make of my encounter with Snape. He had seemed to expect to be cursed around every corner and I had a feeling I knew who was to blame. I mean it wasn't that he'd acted all that innocently either, he'd deliberately been rude and obnoxious. And yet he hadn't tried anything on me. Another thing was that he had been carrying a whole pile of identical potions books, as if they were a shipment to the library and why would 'slimy- dark art obsessed Snivellus' be carrying book to the library? Was it a detention, was he asked, did he offer? He reminded me of Graham Wile from Amalia's who lashed out at everyone he didn't trust because he'd been picked on since his mother ran off with a muggle born when he was seven, abandoning him. The thing with Graham though, was that although he was cold and distant, he actually was a really good guy...

I was randomly walking in the grounds of Hogwarts and I suddenly found myself reaching the edge of the Forbidden forest. Students were not meant to go in there but I could hardly help but enter a little into the tall and broad trees. This forest had an incredible presence it felt so alive and the very air seem to buzz. I placed my hand on the bark of a nearby tree and nearly laughed when I felt its ancient, almost knowing, pulse. It wasn't physical but Merlin was it there. This place was dark, oh yes really dark, and not just in a lack-of-light way either but nor in a I'm-big-and-evil way. It was just... it's own and magical, like it had many secrets and many places that it guarded.

I heard a sound ahead of me and I stood straight and ready, my hand on my wand pocket. The sound came again and I gulped. I was rooted to the spot but I wasn't scared. Then a bush parted and I saw the almost aquiline black snout of a Thestral emerge. I blinked in shock as it trotted forward, its white glistening and pupilless eyes slightly unnerving.

I cocked my head to the side and looked at it as it edged its way closer to me. I found it rather funny the way it ducked it's head a came to me slowly, as if scared but too curious to hold back. It was obviously young, its head only reaching my shoulder, and I didn't feel any fear as it came closer.

"Hey there little one" I said and slowly raised my hand to its nose.

It shuffled a little closer and seemed to sniff my hand, its nostrils dilating on its bony face. Then it pressed its snout to my palm and I carefully stroked its slightly slippery skin. I giggled (yes... giggled) when it head butted me lightly and it made a funny little chirping sound at the sound.

"You know... it is quite unfair how harshly people view you things... but I guess I would be a bit of a hypocrite if I judged you... I am dating a werewolf..." I chucked and the Thestral allowed me to run my hands through its thick black mane.

"Oi you! What do ya think you're doing here?" a loud gruff voice said and I turned to see a huge man, Hagrid the gamekeeper, walking towards me.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to come so far in - I was only really just looking" I said, biting my lip.

I saw him peer at me from within his mass of messy brown hair. His eyes were small and they eyed me with uncertainty, his eyes moving from me to the Thestral.

"Not many accept Thestrals, them being different an' all" he said and as if knowing we were talking about it the Thestral bucked its head on my hand, I laughed in delight and resumed stroking the long hair.

"No, but people discriminate against anything different, it's what they do" I said and saw the massive man nod.

I gave the Thestral one final pat and mentally promised that next time I visited I would bring some treats. I was sure I could get some raw meat from the kitchens...

Turning back to Hagrid I gave him a grin and began to walk back out of the forest.

"I'm curious, what other creatures are in the forest? I take care of magical creatures but it's taught in a rather sterile way I think" I asked Hagrid and we soon got into a long discussion about the creatures of the forest. It was still early in the day and all of my classes had ended so when he invited me for tea I accepted happily. I trusted this Hagrid, he seemed genuinely cheerful for the company and he was really very warm despite the daunting exterior. When the conversation diverged into families his face became grim.

"Ay, I heard what happened to you an your brother, it's bad times alrigh' an then there was poor Lily's parents" he shook his head "I'll tell ya the same thing I told young Sirius Black. Tha aint anyway tha family should treat one another, yer better findin ya proper family in those who truly love ya. Like those Marauders, they're practically brothers they're tha close, course you proble' know this already being so close" His black eyes studies me humorously and I blushed "Ay... I'm thinking Mr. Lupin made his choice well with you"

I avoided the topic by taking a bite out of one of his rock cakes – a mistake – and nearly broke my teeth.

James

"Guys... Hey guys! Could you please stop snogging for like a second? Oi! Guys! Could you please tell me whether I should-?"

"Just go over there Prongs" Alex muttered as Sirius moved to his ear.

I was getting majorly grossed out with these two. One moment we were 'studying' and having a joke the next moment I had to find somewhere else to look while they firmly attached themselves to each other. Ughh. I had given them stern instructions concerning our dorm too, much to Alex's mortification as well as mine. Sirius just found it rather amusing. 'If you must then stay away from my bed, put up a silencing spell and for Merlin's sake and my sanity do not tell me! I do not want to know!' I did not need the specifics of gay sex...I really hoped that this though was just a phase.

"Thanks for the help..." I said sardonically and Alex raised his thumb. I rolled my eyes before leaving them to... well...

Walking across the nearly empty common room before I could change my mind I found myself standing hesitantly in front of Lily's table. She was studying, or at least there were book on the table, and didn't see me at first. When she did she blinked at me twice then turned her head to look behind me obviously looking for happy couple number two.

"They are otherwise preoccupied... I was getting bored of sitting there looking like a third wheel..."

She smirked and I sat down opposite her nervously.

"Yes, they do that a lot now, don't they?" She said giving me a truly sympathetic look.

She looked better than she did yesterday down at the lake, her hair was back to its glossy condition and she didn't seem so weary. I tried not to stare.

"You have no idea" I shook my head in an attempt to not look at her "It's driving me crazy. Honestly, Sirius was never like that with his girlfriends and I swear Moony and Lara didn't do this"

She laughed and I watched her with an adoring eye, which I hoped she didn't see.

"Well Remus is reserved and Lara is... dignified. As for Black, well I don't think any of his last dates lasted long enough for him to get this way but those two together... well... they don't seemed to really care do they?"

I turned to look at them in the corner of my eye and then looked quickly away when I saw Padfoots hand move to Alex's ass.

"No. They don't" I said flatly.

There was a moment of silence while I argued with myself.

Just ask her out!

No, it's too early.

But she hasn't hexed you!

That doesn't mean she likes you.

Well she'll never know if she likes you if you never ask her out!

Last time you asked her out she hexed your tie to strangle you!

That's because you were an annoying prat!

And you still are!

That's not the point! Just ask her!

"James?"

"Wah- what?" I shook my head and saw her studying me closely. I freaked out, I could feel my words trying to form the request, her beautiful green eyes nearly tipping me over the edge. No, no, no! I didn't want to ask yet, not yet.

"Erm, I gotta go. Err. See you out- I mean later, um. Yeah. Um, Bye!"

I ran out of the room... stumbling into the dorm I smacked my head against a nearby wall.

Oh well done, that was clever.

I'm and idiot. A complete IDIOT.

Tell me something I don't know.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks...

Wait a moment...

"...She just called me James... "I whispered as a huge grin worked its way onto my face "SHE CALLED ME JAMES!"

That doesn't mean she likes you-

"-SHUT UP! LILY CALLED ME JAMES! WOOOP WOOOOP!"

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