I had a lot of fun writing this chapter :) hope you see why

To Await

Alex

February. A month had passes on by. Another full moon had risen and with it signalled another sleepless night for us all. Lara paced throughout the night and consequently I too found myself counting down the hours till dawn. James is now (to his glee) on first name terms with his beloved Lily and has yet to ask her out once. We are all very proud of him (though Siri is more likely to tease him than ever say that) but I think the suspense is killing him. Dumbledore informed us that we will be spending our summer at Cousin Andy's, an intriguing prospect. We haven't seen her for several years. Sirius and I have gotten past the stage where anytime we're not kissing each other is wasteful. Everybody seemed very happy about this (they like it too much for my liking). School life has been... well, school life e.g. dull and time consuming. Lara has thrown herself into working at the hospital wing with intense vigour. Lily is getting better and she smiles just as much as she used to. Things seem... well.

So now it's February and with it a certain event which, to be blunt, I am dreading. Yes, I tell the truth because Valentine's Day is coming.

Valentine's... ugh... Merlin help me...

It's going to be a Hogsmeade weekend and the cheesy sappiness is so unbearably cringy it makes me shiver. Siri seems to have two minds about it all and I have been encouraging the part which dissuades even the mention of Madam Puddifoot's. Madam Puddifoot's! Oh Merlin. Please, please, let the very straight part of my boyfriend's bi mind win. I don't think I could live through that kind of torture. Ugh...

Of course this is going to be our first 'date' so to speak. So that's got to stand for something...

But Madam Puddifoot's...?

No, I would have to put my foot down. No matter how much I love my boyfriend, there was no way I was going anywhere near Madam Puddifoot's...

All the girls around school were yammering on about it. "Ooh, did you hear, Nathan's taking me to Hogsmeade for Valentine's!" "Guess who just asked me out for Valent..." "I can't wait to see what Jim got me for Val..." "Valentine's" "Valentine's" Oh my god! Valentine's! Sheesh. And that's just the verbal chatter, hearing their minds shout the same thing to themselves is even worse. Some girls actually had the audacity to flirt at me, I mean, come on! I am gay, I have a boyfriend, can I make it anymore clear? I wonder if they'd get the picture if I grabbed Sirius by the ears and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. You'd think they'd take the hint but I bet they'd probably still flutter their eye lids at me...

If they saw us in Puddifoot's on the other hand...

Ughhh...

That above anything would secure the idea that I'm gay and taken. After all nothing validates a relationship better than a sickly romantic teashop. I know... girl's minds work in odd ways... I don't get it either...

Last year I had the same problem too. But over there it was more about getting a marriage proposal than a date. The world is a strange place.

Last year...

Last year I had been with Darien...

Don't go there. Don't even go there! Bad Alex.

Speaking of Darien, though, he had been pretty much ignoring us since the incident in the hall. Everyone had thought he'd be annoyed, furious, but no. If anything he was rather amused at the choice of spell, almost more amused than Lara. The irony of the situation was that it had been him to teach it to us. He'd learnt it from one of the dark arts books that his father owned and taught it to us in one of the nights where we'd stolen into the library to learn advanced spells without Madam Koch's beady eyes following us. It wasn't that dark, or at least not in the way Lara had used it, but it could be made so that it was a sort of oath. The purpose was that every time a person broke the oath (which was forced on them) the words would double till every inch of a person was inscribed with the inky words. Needless to say this was not what Lara did, it would never duplicate itself for one. The clever thing about it, though, was that they would only be removed if he said a certain three words in the presence of at least ten people. This wasn't going to happen anytime soon, even if he figured out what the words were. Not when the words Lara had chosen were "I am gay".

...I love my sister.

Sirius

"Well, hello hello!" I cried, jumping onto the seat next to Prongs. He jumped in surprise as I swung my arm around his shoulder happily. "And how are you Lily Flower? I see you are still putting up with this prat." I hit said prat lightly over the head. "If you ever get bored you know where to come," I said with a suggestive twitch of my eyebrow and a wink. Oh how I loved winding up Evans.

"You want to watch it you know, your better half might take offence" She replied without batting an eye.

"Ah but how do you know my 'better half' can't just be as bad as I? Ay Lily Flower? After all, I would know" I leant over to 'whisper' "Because really, once you get that 'oh-so-good boy' in be-"

"Dammit Paddy! I do NOT want to know! What, WHAT, have I told you about mentioning this!"

I burst out laughing. Sure, it was fun to tease lovely Lily but dear old Prongsie... well that was even better. I sat back with a satisfied smirk, watching his face glow a bright tomato red. I even saw Evans roll her green green eyes.

"So Flowery Lady, any plans for Valentine's?" was my not so subtle way of pointing out the stirring vibes coming from the pair. Mwahaha! It was my goal to help form 'Happy couple number 3'... then all I had to do was find Pete a girl (or boy, who knows) and then all us Marauders will be all happily couplefied!

I won't hold my breath for couple number 4 though... poor Wormy...

She blushed a lovely rosy red and pointedly studied a knot in the table. James meanwhile was choking on... what was he choking on? Oh well, he was choking, quite violently too... Hmm... I should probably help him with that...

I beat my choking friend on the back, which didn't seem to help...

...Oh well!

"What's up? Swallow your air wrong, again? Remember the last time you did that? It was quite coincidental timing too – just after I told - OW! Hey, what was that for!" I rubber my head, damn that boy could hit!

"Shut up Padfoot"

I chuckled, while still nursing my bruised head (and ego)... maybe I could get Al to kiss it better... hmmm... that could work...

"So what are you doing for Valentine's day, Sirius?"

I shook my head free of Al and his kisses (not now boy, down!) and looked at Lily with a new smirk, this one rather cunning. Oh yes people, I have a smirk for every occasion... but you didn't have to know about some of my more... seductive smirks. Oh, James would love to hear about that...

"Oh yes! My man and I are going to Madam Pudifoots! Oooh, the excitement!" I exclaimed with a flourish of my arms "It's going to be so romantic!" I said in an imitation of one of those flustered girls. I waved at my face and everything (why do they even do that?).

They both laughed.

"So when are you planning on telling Alex that you have no plans to go there what so ever" Prongs had to ask.

I shrugged, my evil glint coming into play.

"I'll get round to it... at some point. You should have seen his face when I mentioned it! Ha!"

He had spent the last few days randomly shivering and trying to persuade me to see the error of my ways. In very creative ways too... Ah Al, poor poor Al. He really needed to retake that lesson in Legilimency, he'd obviously missed a point somewhere. Not that I minded...

Darien

"Dari, oh it's so good to see you! It feels like so long since we spent time with each other" she said with a barely suppressed whine while I cringed internally at the nickname, Merlin I hated it when she called me that. Ally used to call me Dari.

"Indeed. You are well I take it Miss Flint?" I said politely, trying not to recoil as she placed her hand on my arm. I led the way through the corridors to a courtyard where we could sit.

"Oh honestly Dari, how many times must I ask you not to call me that? I am your future wife after all" She scolded with a twittering giggles and a pat to my arm.

"Of course... Luciana"

She tittered happily and clung to me closer. I resisted the urge to push her away because one thing she said was correct... she was my future wife. Salazar help me. As we walked she rambled on about dresses and flowers and the 'latest gossip'. I stayed mostly silent, giving the occasional 'hmm' and 'really?' and 'how preposterous'. She didn't seem to notice that I wasn't listening but continued to babble on about how everyone (even those who were meant to be her friends) were scandalous and not worth our attention. She liked to put me on a pedestal, which I didn't mind, but unfortunately I was stuck up there with her. Each time someone walked by she pushed her back into a ruler straight pose and jutted her chin out superciliously.

Merlin I couldn't stand her.

"Oh and mother found the cutest brides maid's dresses, they are simply charming. Of course they are very expensive and of the highest fashion so they really are just perfect. We were thinking of using my niece Eileen and your cousin Maura, what do you think?" She went on without waiting for a reply "Of course the pink colour will look fabulous on the girls and will match the flowers although I did think that..." and it went on...

That they were planning our wedding already seemed a little stupid to me... it was in a year and a half, how much was there to do? Surly it didn't take that long? What really baffled me, though, was that she thought that I cared...

"...Of course father was rather adamant with the man, told him quite straight who we were and what..."

She wasn't from a bad family; really the name Flint was very dignified, they were pretty much as pure as you could get and they were very well disciplined. Their daughter was an acceptable match for my family.

"... and we saw this beautiful tiara in my family fault too, goblin made with sapphires which will set off my eyes perfectly and not to mention..."

Not that her blood line made me like her anymore. She was an obligation, nothing more, and if I had the choice I'd never marry her. Then again, if I had the choice I wouldn't marry a girl full stop. Our honeymoon was going to be traumatic...

"...guest list – I really don't think the Bulstrode's should be invited, not after that traitorous bitch married filth but Mother really does insist that the rest..."

How long do you think I could spend with her? At what point could I dismiss her without sounding rude? Till lunch, maybe? That was three hours away... I don't think I can stand her for that long. It said a lot for our approaching bond for life... this was going to be hell. I wonder if I'll get used to her, surly you would if I had to spend every day with her...

"... Father has been telling everyone how respectable you are, he thinks he could get in a good word for you in the ministry. Father really does have a fantastic contact list high up in most of the department's maybe..."

Merlin... she just kept talking didn't she...

We were approaching the courtyard and I was pleased to see the sun was finally peeping out of the clouds that had seemed to be terminal. I couldn't imagine having to walk all the way back to the common room, to be seen publically with her, no, I could not do that. What if people began thinking I was one of those 'dreamy in love' sorts? Ugh. The Grey's had already tarnished my reputation enough... payback I suppose for the broken reputation they left behind in Berlin. Among other things...

Like causing them to be tortured twice and being permanently scarred...

Speaking of...

I nearly groaned when I saw Lara sitting on the very bench I had planned to use, and not alone either. That Lupin was with her too and they were sitting nice and cosy together. The contrast between their relationship and ours was apparent. I felt Luciana grip my arm tighter and lean in to whisper something in my ear – presumably concerning the other couple.

"There's that Grey girl and Lupin. Honestly, I nearly fainted when I learn that she was actually a pure-blood, can you believe it! Not to mention-"

She stopped as Lara rose to her feet with Lupin at her side and began to walk towards us. I could see the tell tale glint in her eyes as she looked over the girl at my side that said she knew exactly who this was.

"Irvine" she said coldly.

"Grey"

"And you must be Miss Flint. Congratulations on your engagement, I have been dyeing to meet you" She said looking at Luciana appraisingly. I recognised her society mask instantly, having seen it at so many formal parties. Like this you could truly appreciate that she was raised in a pureblood family and believe she was every inch the icy faced purist expected of her. Like this people would be hard put to find insults if they knew nothing else about her.

"Thank you" Luciana replied stiffly averting her eyes to show her displeasure at our company.

She nodded to us then left, though not before Lupin could give me a cold glare. As soon as they were gone Flint broke off into angry words and dragged me to a different bench than the one they'd occupied.

"How dare she speak to us! To think she has the impudence to speak with us after she was so rude, to think that she thought herself worthy to interact with us! Filthy little blood-traitor! Oh I have some things to say to that one alright! Then there's that Lupin guy she's dating! Well I've heard a couple of things about that one!" She sniffed disdainfully "and don't even get me started on that brother of hers!" I tensed "I told Regulus, I said 'it's no wonder your mother disowned that one, he's a bad egg if ever I saw one. Stay away from him and be grateful your family is lucky enough that they have you'. You know what I think? That lot, they're unnatural, anomalies that should be pruned as such! They're worse than mudbloods if you ask me. I say their father taught then what they deserve!" she breathed deeply after her rant and pushed her coarse black hair out of her face.

She didn't seem to notice my pale face or the way my hand gripped the bench we had just sat on. It made me feel sick hearing those words. It didn't matter how much I tried to avoid my nature it always came back and pinched me. 'Anomalies that should be pruned'. Was I unnatural? An anomaly or mutation? A flawed person?

"Anyway. I was thinking that as this is our first Valentine's day coming we should something special – I was thinking Madam Puddifoot's then we-"

Wait. What? Puddifoot's? Did I mishear? Salazar say I misheard – PUDDIFOOT'S!

Oh. Shit.

Help me!

Cynthia

It has been two months in here, two months of the same dull dragging days.

I rise in the morning, I dress and bathe and eat my food as slowly as I can. Then I read... and read... and read. I do so much reading now, though I know it is useless and I will never use the things I learn but it wastes away the days. Wastes away... I then eat lunch and talk with the house elves, mundane talks about the weather and what not. There are five of them: Mimi, Cyndi, Pepper, Filla and Totsie. They fill me in on the news, sometimes bringing a daily prophet. Then I sit and look out of the window, I think and watch for what must be hours.

I imagine, in my forced naivety, that things will become better; I see my husband's face, not the man who lives here now but my husband, coming to me free of the darkness. I see him smile and taking my hand in his, he holds it gently, as if I am beautiful and delicate, in his large warm hands. His eyes are clear grey and loving and I see us walking through the blossom trees and the vibrant green grass. Above our heads the sky is an elusive blue with gently white clouds and a sparkling sun that tingles on my skin. He wraps his arms around me, uncaring of the fact we are in public or that we are pure bloods and should not show public displays of affection. He smiles gently, oh so gently, and presses his forehead to mine and our clasped hands are light on our chests. Without saying we began to slow dance, our eyes forever connected.

Snap.

The gate clicks closed and I see a black figure prowl up to the house. I don't know who it is who approaches the main door; I never do, because their hoods are always pulled low over their faces which, I suppose, are bound to be masked anyway. The world in grey and dreary, the moisture condensing on every surface in a way that I know makes skin feel sticky and disgusting. Not that I can feel it. It is so dull, empty, and I feel trapped.

I feel so trapped. Every moment in here I feel like a cage is closing over my heart and the walls around me seem to shrink onto my skin. I feel as if sometimes I will become so bored that I will turn mad with it. I always have this nagging itch on the back of my neck and I jump and fidget in paranoia. Every minute drags into hours and the hours gnaw at my skin till I feel like scratching and banging at the walls.

Most mornings I can hardly bring myself to rise out of bed. What would be the point? Each night the tears threaten to spill but I, ever the Lady I am meant to be, fight away the burning in my eyes. I am numb. Furthermore I will stay numb, because the alternative is to go crazy and that is not an option for me.

I still hear the screams; they reside within my very bones. I tremble as I walk and sometimes the horror comes on so strong that I must sit down or else fall to the floor.

I feel something stirring though; I can feel it in my heart that I am on the cusp of something. Something that is coming closer hour by hour, I feel like it's the breath before an epiphany, something on the edge of my tongue. It's in the house elves, there's something about the house elves that just makes me shiver in anticipation. What is it...?

It's coming though and I don't know whether it will break me of enrich me with new purpose. Then again, it might be both and Merlin do I know such thing is possible.