Thank for all the reviews and sorry for the last comment, I still can hardly believe people like my writing, it's only my first story :)

This chapter started really long before I cut it in two so sorry if end a bit odd.

To Trust

Darien

It was a cool day with a light whispering breeze sweeping up the valley of the winding river and played with the branches of the trees. Fresh greenery was everywhere and you could smell, taste and hear the life around us. The grass, though slightly dry from the resent bout of sun we'd had, was fresh and vibrant under foot. Dragonflies, with their elegant bodies, hovered over the flowing water, their bright burst of blue and green reflecting in the clear surface. Further away I could hear the sound of the students talking in the main forest area, separate from this hidden bay we liked to visit. But it was the sound of the running river was an ingrained in my heart and seemed to echo the peace of my mind.

We were at school, though it was the Easter holidays and nobody was thinking much of study. St. Amalia's was surrounded by forest on all sides, warded to stop people coming through and pathless where the wood became dense. Because of this the only way in and out was by magic or over the river in boats. This spot we sat in now was surrounded by high ground and bushes, making it almost invisible to anyone who wasn't on the river. It was our little secret.

We lay next to the river, under the old tree with its bending branches and gnarled trunk. Lara sat on one of the branches humming softly and skimming small stones into the flowing water. Ally had his back against the trunk and was reading as he let his hand play with my dark hair. I was sitting in between his long out stretched legs munching on an apple and looking out over the water.

This was our favourite place in this prejudice school we lived in most of the year because here nobody else could spy over our shoulders and gossip over our clasped hands or weird political views. Not that they knew of any of that save the whispers that could be found regarding every student. Here we could forget that our parents were pure bloods and demanded things of us we didn't want to give. Here we could we normal.

Without warning Ally grabbed the back of my robes and pulled me leisurely back, just in time to avoid Lara swinging backwards off her branch. She hung there from her knees, exactly where I had been sitting, with a mischievous grin. I blinked. Long silver hair fell like a sheet to the floor and I laughed when a hand extended down and ruffled my hair. An apple from the bag next to me flew up into the air and landed triumphantly in her hand.

"You could have just asked" I said to the upside-down head that was now smirking.

"And where would the fun have been in that?"

Show of, I projected.

She grinned again and with a sweep of her wand she was back up into the branch, humming away.

I glanced behind me at her brother who just rolled his eyes continued to read his book. He pulled me closer to his chest and I relaxed into the warmth. I felt his chest rumble as he hummed in harmony with his sister in the tree above.

Hummed...

A voice on the river shook, shattered, me alive and I pushed away from the chest. A dark boat turned the corner of the river, a wizard standing on the deck. Dark eyes.

I woke with a shudder and cold sweat dribbled over hot skin. The sheets, silk and pearly, clung to my legs and chest. The room was dark, a strict contrast to the world of my memories. I could hear the sounds of the other boys sleeping. Mulciber, cold hearted, Avery, beetle eyed, and Snape, the weak link.
I didn't know them, I had never seen the days when they had been normal boys, slightly unsure but crudely full of their heritage. Perhaps they had been like us, hesitant, unwilling, once upon a time. I hadn't seen the world coming at them with whips and stripping what little innocence there may have been. And they had never seen me as the boy who could joke and laugh and had the wrong views under the wrapping. We didn't know each other.

Who knew me anymore, really?

Regulus, sure, knew I must have been that once but I had never let him see it. I had never let myself go since those moments that were just memories... just dreams of another life.

I looked down at my arm and the inky words slid onto my forearm, sensing my eyes: Verräter, we wouldn't have. I was just a traitor, a Verräter, somebody not to trust.

I was just the bitter Slytherin Prince.

I wasn't a friend, a brother, a lover.

Just Darien Irvine, the boy no one knows.

Sirius

The screams through the charmed door sent the usual shivers down my spine and I cringed at the pure animalistic cry of agony. There was something about that scream that you never quite forgot, something that touched you right in your heart and left its wedge to jump out on you when you were down. I had seen Remus transform before, three times, and each time had made me feel shamefully ill. I had seen the way bones stretched too quickly and how they could be too great for the body and skin they were still in. I had heard the cracks as particular bones pushed over others and snapped into new positions. The inflamed flesh had dulled and greyed and hair had pushed through pores. Teeth had sprouted out of an extending snout before the mouth was large enough and the sounds of screams, the sounds of my friend Remus Lupin, had morphed into that of a wolf, that of Moony.

I had never been able to look away though because to do so, I felt, would not be respectful of my friend.

I peered through the tunnel that led to the willow, biting my lip. It was dark and you couldn't see the slightest glimmer of the outside world from here. It was still, nothing moved.

"Where's Wormtail?" I asked Prongs who was leant up against the side of the tunnel, the balls of his hands pressed to his eyes. He hated this part.

"Dunno, haven't seen him since Herbology" He replied, not shifting.

The voice was becoming a howl.

I sighed in frustration.

"Oh well, too late to find him now" I muttered and James shrugged.

"Ready?" he said, pulling himself up and pointing his wand to the door; I nodded once and shifted into my dog form.

The world suddenly became sharper, the darkness less dense, and my sense of smell filled my brain with complex and instinctive signals. I could smell the faint odour of old blood, the fresh smell of the earth and the porous stench of rotting in the wood of the shack. There was the lingering chemical smell (disgusting, too clean, not right) that Madam Pomfrey brought some two hours ago and the familiar scent of myself, Remus and James, who smelt of the chicken pie he'd eaten at lunch and the tang of orange juice. With my other sense, the new one that felt the moods in the air like an intensified prick on the back of my neck, I could feel the wolf in the other room scream dominance and pain and slight anger. James felt nervous but steadfast bravery coursed through his being.

Prongs twitched his wand to open the door and quickly shifted into his stag so Moony didn't try to hunt out the smell of humans. He briefly twitched and stamped his feet in reorientation before glancing at me and pushing the door open with his antlers.

I skipped around Prongs and Moony, on the other side of the room, sniffed me out and growled lowly in his chest. Gold wild eyes met mine as I heard the sound of him smelling me and slowly I saw natural recognition in their depths.

Right, I was a part of the pack.

Peter

Two o'clock.

I passed an open window as I was sneaking to the dorm and winced again as I saw the full round pendant of the moon suspended atop the dark shadow of the forest. The lake glimmered in the magical way it did at this time of the month. Few realised just how the world changed during the full moon, we Marauders being some of the few. Everyone with two brain cells knew that the magic in Hogwarts, with its ancient stone and spells bound to the very land, was intense and thick but on nights like this...

I cherished the moments when I could look out at this time because everything seemed to thrum and glow and there was always something just out of sync, just off, and I couldn't ever tell what it was.

This one night when the werewolves were abroad.

And I had missed it.

I had missed it.

Somewhere out there my friends were helping each other. They were doing what they should always be doing, what I should be doing. It didn't matter that I had grown away from them; it didn't matter because I was still their friends. I was still a Marauder and Marauders looked out for each other.

And I had missed it.

I had slipped up and I knew in my heart that something was broken, something had been disrupted. They may not feel it, I could blag it up to falling asleep or something, but I knew it. I knew it had changed for me.

I had missed a full moon, I had, in a sense, failed them.

Willingly.

I sighed.

The common room was predictably dark, the fire in the grate glowing red under the black of their bark covers and the light soaked into the cosy room. Dark shadows flickered and the red and gold of the Gryffindors seemed to wrap around me, warm, easy, simply. Though we had many proud tapestries on the walls, it wasn't an extravagant room and sometime that annoyed me. Why couldn't we have the elegance of the Slytherins, the freshness of Ravenclaw or the exotic comfort of Hufflepuff? We were just... cosy.

Times like now though (when I was being weak and sentimental) I liked it. It might not be powerful but it was home.

Tiptoeing across the room I made my way up the spiral staircase with the quietness of my animagus form.

Alex would be in there, I knew, so I'd have to be extra quiet not to wake the mind reader. However, pushing open the door I saw that a candle was lit and floating through the air and the silver head in question sat on the window ledge, his forehead pressed to the glass. He turned to me with a frown as I came in and I froze.

For a moment we didn't say anything, just stared at each other.

Finally Alex lowered his legs from the sill and put his bare feet on the floor, fully turning to see me.

"How come...?" He said and his voice was confused.

I licked my lips and opened my mouth, only to close it again. What could I say? The mind reader always knew when someone lied; he'd know I didn't just forget. I couldn't tell him though...

Then something clicked behind his eyes and I groaned.

Damn him. Damn him, how dare he steal my thoughts, how dare he and his sister just come in here and...

"Alright, alright" I growled "I had a date okay, is that such a crime? It's not like they need me anyway, it's not like I do anything!"

His eyebrows arched and it made me want to spit. He was just so full of himself; he acted like he knew everything, like he was smarter than all of us. Well stuff him because he was wrong, him and his oh so incredible sister with her stupid long legs, her battering eyelashes and long silvery hair like capture stars or whatever they prattled on about. Yeah, those twins were just perfect in every single way weren't they?

"Anyway once you and your whining sister become Animagi and worm even further into our group there will be even less reason for me. You think you're so..." I snarled, struggling for words "So central! I know what you're up to Grey, you don't fool me!"

He stood and magic manifested and twisted through the air, I could feel it on my skin.

I get it; he was getting all proud now. I knew their game, they were just waiting, waiting to spring and catch the fly. He could intimidate me all he wanted but I didn't care.

"I think it is pretty obvious of our opinion towards each other" Grey said with diamond hardness "We don't trust or like you, you don't trust or like us. We couldn't care less what you think of us, we've dealt with people like you before and we can do it again. Don't test us and we won't mention this Caitlin girl you are practically screaming about every other hour"

I hated the way they talked in plurals as if they were one person.

I hated the way they brimmed with energy and magic.

I hated the way they made me feel chilled to my bones in a way only needle sharp wind could.

He stalked over to me and his eyes were stone, instinctively I pulled back but I needn't of as he stopped several meters from me. He had stolen Caitlin from me now. The Bastard.

"But what would you care? It's only a girl right?" He said sardonically, lips curling "why don't you want them to know Pettigrew?"

I gulped and the sound seemed to travel. I wouldn't back down. I may be a pathetic Gryffindor but a Gryffindor I was. I would be brave dammit.

He gave me one long hard look before turning away but I felt no pride in not backing down. It felt more like the bastard was still lingering, his look still penetrating my thoughts. I saw his hand shoot out and suddenly the candle was extinguished and heavy blackness fell on me, so abrupt it made me stumble.

I heard his curtains draw shut and I stood there in the darkness, alone.

Remus

I woke up as sunlight dappled over my face and with a groan I tried to sit up. A cool hand pushed me back down though and I opened my eyes to a curtain of hair around me.

"Shush" She said lightly as she pressed a sweet kiss to my lips, I relaxed and I felt her smile above me.

I moaned as she pulled away and I heard a chuckle, she perched on the edge of my bed and I let my arm fall onto her lap and wrap around her belly. I watched through veiled eyes as her deft hands started to open a flask and pour a generous amount of the glutinous liquid onto a spoon. I cringed but knew I'd have to take the disgusting stuff if I wanted to be able to walk in a straight line any of today.

The cold of the metal spoon pressed to my lips and I rolled my eyes as she smirked and fed me as if I were a child.

She had a faraway look when she pulled away and I managed to sit up. Her hand was twisting a piece of her hair around her fingers and her jaw rotated as she obviously became lost in thought. I trailed my hands through her fine hair and pushed back her robe to finger the scar over her neck. Grey eyes moved to mine and she fell back into my arms with a sigh.

"What's wrong" I asked quietly.

She paused and fidgeted.

"It's... Peter, he didn't turn up last night, to the shack that is" She said and her voice was even, too calm.

I frowned, trying to remember last night events but not having much luck. I thought about what she'd said and found that I felt a little upset he hadn't come, though I knew I shouldn't care for all the things he'd already done for me. It was a selfish thought I knew.

"But that's not what's got you in a twist" I said and was confirmed when she squirmed next to me.

"Not exactly..." She paused again and I nudged her but she just shook her head.

"No. It is stupid, you needn't worry." She said and I heard the chords of stubbornness I knew I shouldn't try to push.

"Alright then" I conceded unwillingly.

Something was off there I could tell but I'd have to find out in my own way.

Sirius

"Where were you last night Wormy?" I asked as Pete flopped into the seat opposite me at the dinner table.

His eyes flashed to mine and then to Alex who stabbed at a piece of sausage with his fork. He wet his lips and a red blush played over his cheeks.

He sighed and frowned, staring at the table with a guilty look.

"I fell asleep while studying, I haven't had much sleep lately..." He muttered and I patted the boy consolingly on the shoulder.

"That's alright Wormy; everyone slips up now and then. It's no big deal" I said but it only seemed to make his shoulders sag move.

"...Slips up..." I heard him muttered but ignored it and turned to Al who was tearing open a daily prophet that had just landed.

"Anything interesting" I asked and he glanced up and heaved a sigh.

"Just the usual I'm afraid. A bunch of Muggles found dead, the ministry having another failed raid and Crouch did another speech... oh and it seems the Death Eaters have started to leave signature marks in the air above homes after they kill... it's disgusting..." I looked over his shoulder and saw the photo of a large skull and snake over a Muggle home, I scowled.

"It's looking more and more like a war each time we look at that blasted paper"

Lara

"Happy Birthday for tomorrow; heard idiot one and two talking about it yesterday" he grunted as I slid into the seat with the Animagus book.

It was a week after full moon and Alex, Peter and I were being overly polite around each other, none wishing to break up the peace of the Marauders for the sake of unfounded distrust.

"Thanks. Lily is really excited but she doesn't know yet how annoying I can be when excited" I said happily before seeing Severus' face becoming cold "Oh sorry, you used to be friends, didn't you?"

He shrugged and flicked an empty ink bottle lid across the table, leaving a streak of dark ink.

Our table became quiet as we descended into awkward silence. He was obviously thinking hard about Lily and I could feel that his thoughts were angry and regretful, an odd combination. I had hardly spoken to Lily about her old friend, when she'd heard I was 'friends to be' with him she had given me a hard look and her face had tightened into confusion and sadness. I had gathered that they knew each other from childhood and then he'd called her a mudblood and she'd cut off all the ties. I had always got a feeling of regret from her when he was mentioned but there was a resignation and determination to forget that overrides any fond feelings.

It was partly for her that I was sitting here.

"I don't suppose you could give me a hand with something" I asked to break the silence.

Severus looked at me quickly and I saw slight distrust in his eyes. I rolled my eyes.

"It's nothing that will threaten you or make you spill any secrets. I was just wondering if you'd test me on these" I held out a long list which he took from me.

His eye brows furrowed when he saw the long list of Latin names and he glanced up at me in confusion.

"Bones? You want to be tested on every bone in the human body?" He asked in confusion.

"Yeah" I nodded "It's for my healing studies, when you apply for healers training you have to sit a test about anatomy and charms and stuff" I said.

It wasn't a lie, but I also needed to know it for my Animagus training.

He nodded in understanding.

"Okay" I smiled but he held up a hand "If you help me with something"

I shifted wondering what he could want.

"What do need help with?" I asked.

He gulped.

"I need someone to tell me if I'm working with my Occlumency" He said nervously and I sighed.

That couldn't hurt could it? He'd just end up asking someone else if I didn't do it for him... I wanted him to trust me after all.

"Alright... I'll keep an eye on whether you succeed or not, perhaps I'll give you some tips too..." I conceded and he smiled at me.

"Thank you" he said quietly.

I smiled back at him

"Call me Lara"

"...Thank you... Lara" he said and I grinned. Surprisingly it didn't look like the words were killing him. "Now, this list... shall we start with the... Cranial bones?" He asked snorting, picking the top from the list.